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Dave Evans, R.I.P.

Started by Mike Carroll, 07 May, 2021, 11:32:09 AM

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Tjm86

Quote from: Dog Deever on 10 May, 2021, 03:15:13 PM
your boss (you can be referred to Occy Health and be given leave which will relieve some pressure)

At the risk of causing offence I will suggest extreme caution with this.  Having been on the receiving end of several incredibly nasty / relapse inducing experiences, it is not something to be approached lightly.  On OH practitioner I was referred to clearly had clue-none about MH issues and in the end I had to request termination of the interview as a result of the distress his line of questioning generated. 

There are no words though that can fully express the loss this news entails.  The pain and anguish his family will be feeling right now ... The loss of someone so well regarded, supported and capable. 

Perhaps this is a reminder that as much as we would all rather the Black Dog Thread was not needed, it is nevertheless one that should be leant on.  So many folks in these parts  that are capable of empathising and finding the right words at the right time (yes, I know we have our spats and strops but still ...) and helping to ease the darkness a little.

RIP Bolt, take care everyone else ...

Funt Solo

My wife works as a counselor, and when I told her about what had been happening she wanted to make sure that a key message went out: if you're suffering then reach out and talk to someone about it. I hate to bring up statistics, because it seems heartless in a way, but statistically, it really does help if you talk to someone.

Lots of people already making this point, of course, but I wanted to reiterate it.

Wishing everyone all the best.

LP
++ A-Z ++  coma ++

Dog Deever

Quote from: Tjm86 on 10 May, 2021, 07:13:00 PM
Quote from: Dog Deever on 10 May, 2021, 03:15:13 PM
your boss (you can be referred to Occy Health and be given leave which will relieve some pressure)

At the risk of causing offence I will suggest extreme caution with this.

None taken.
Just a little rough and tumble, Judge man.

CrazyFoxMachine

Quote from: scrotnig on 10 May, 2021, 06:47:02 PM
As someone who has been in dark places there are two problems ith the 'just talk to someone':

1. Often in this situation you don't have anyone you can talk to.


Yes you do. Us. Anyone. Don't ever think this, not to diminish your experience Scrotnig but that's never true.

Quote from: scrotnig on 10 May, 2021, 06:47:02 PM
2. Even if you do, they often don't want to be burdened with your problems. They may well lend a sympathetic ear for ten minutes but you will soon find they don;t want to know and will start avoiding you.

Also - superficially yes, it's difficult if anyone just rings you and goes "I'M FEELING TERRIBLE"

but can I tell you guys, Bolt was this for me. He put up with so much of my raging and self-flagellating and anger and sorrow and everything. He listened to it all, it meant the world and it always will and I don't mind who you are or why, do the same. Give Shark a buzz, give me a buzz, give anyone saying "just talk to me" a buzz, give the Samaritans a buzz and I guarantee you:

1 - You'll be heard
2 - I can't guarantee anything else but the first one is valid, it really is.

Frankly I'm glad this thread has taken this turn. It's extremely important to talk about how you feel. I feel terrible. How are you?

Colin MacNeil

I'm very saddened to hear of the utterly shocking news about Dave.

I have spent a lot of today trying to find the right words, but no avail. All I will say is that I will miss his presence, his knowledge, his enthusiasm, his encouragement, his tales and his laughter.

My sincerest condolences go out to his family, who will undoubtedly miss him most of all.

Colin

Bat King

Hardly ever on here these days but decided I would pop in.

So many old friends here hurting. I've passed a few comments to some of you on other places such as Twitter or FB.

Filming the Rok Panel for Lawless John Wagner brought Dave up. Dan recounted his recruitment story. Dave was central to a lot if things.

I only know Dan and Iz from his blood-family, lovely peeps. But obviously there is Richmond from his Comic-Family.

I told my non-Comic friends about Dave a few times. And when discussing this I mentioned that I knew he been there for people when they needed him.

I've passed a few words with Shark un the past on here about our black dogs (literally actually). And though not knowing details of who Dave helped it was just obvious that somd of us would turn to him.

Hawk, not surprised Dave reached out to you, mate.

I said on Richmond's FB I am here for any of you. No judgement abd no unasked for advice.

I think my contract deets are in my Sig. But those that don't know me my real name is Steve Hargett and you can find me on FB, easiest way is by looking at Richmond's FB probably.

But I'll be a Friend on someone you know's page I bet.

Or teach me on Twitter @chiropterarex (means Bat King) or on Judge Tutor Semple Blog somehow or other.

Gonna miss Dave, just like most of you who went to Cons I looped round to his table several times per day at TB. I'd cartagena up with some of you there. He would often let me know someone was at the Con if he thought I would want to se them. "Jim Campbell is here!" He delightedly told me at the Pre-Plague TB.

Sucks big time.

Remember. Talk to someone, anyone. If not Friends or Family talk to a person on internet you don't know. Or ring a helpline.

Love to you all. Especially some of you. :)
Blog
http://judgetutorsemple.wordpress.com/

Twitter
@chiropterarex

The Adventurer

Just learned of this, a terrible loss. Bolt and I never really interacted directly, but his activity here and his enthusiasm for Futurequake and the fanzines was impossible to miss if you spent any time on this here forum. My condolences.

THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

Mikey

Quote from: scrotnig on 10 May, 2021, 06:47:02 PM
A lot of people saying this.

Without knowing anything about Bolt's specific situation, I will say this;

As someone who has been in dark places there are two problems ith the 'just talk to someone':

1. Often in this situation you don't have anyone you can talk to.
2. Even if you do, they often don't want to be burdened with your problems. They may well lend a sympathetic ear for ten minutes but you will soon find they don;t want to know and will start avoiding you.

That second point is one I've run into a few times. You can get accused of trying to drag people down with you, and I can't begin to tell you how much that hurts when in a bad place such as that.

Have to admit this tallies with my own experience too Scrotnig, so why I added about 'if you can't talk'.

I know talking would help and is more possible for a lot of people but it's definitely important to recognise the reasons for depression mean the person might not be inclined to talk about it, so putting the onus on them to start the conversation isn't how it will go. There has to be recognition from others that the onus should be on them too sometimes.
To tell the truth, you can all get screwed.

Dave Wednesday

I only found out through a random facebook post and I didn't believe it at first. 

I'd only 'spoken' (well, email, but that tends to be the limit of my social interactions nowadays) to Dave a week before so it just didn't feel real.  His support showed me I wasn't a talentless hack wannabe and I always planned to go to Thoughtbubble or similar and say thanks.

Thanks Dave - for the support, for the enthusiasm and the sheer joy of seeing the comics in our head become real.

   

Jim_Campbell

I know not everyone follows, or is even interested in, the monthly art comp, but we're doing something different this month, including text submissions, with a view to producing a physical tribute book which I'm hoping we can get forwarded to Dave's family, so if you want to say something that'll be included in that, then please feel free to post on this thread.
Stupidly Busy Letterer: Samples. | Blog
Less-Awesome-Artist: Scribbles.

AlexF

Only just seen this thread and heard this terrible, horrible, tragic news. My condolences to his family and the very many friends he had, not least on these boards.

I've had my share of Mental Health struggles (anxiety in my case) and talking to people was difficult and boring and indeed hard work...

...but it really did help.

Proudhuff

so so sorry to hear this, Dave made everyone, even me, welcome at Cons, he encouraged, nurtured and cajoled art and stories out of so many of us. I remember one Con getting a row(ish) from him the next day as I'd said I#d come alone for the previous evening's meal and didn't, Christ! how did he even notice in that melee? A lovely lovely man.
My deepest condolences to his wonderful family and you Rich, get in touch if you need to rant, bubble or go radge.
DDT did a job on me

Dog Deever

Quote from: Proudhuff on 11 May, 2021, 09:03:33 PM
Dave made everyone, even me, welcome at Cons

Jeezo min- 'even me'
?
Tom- fuck sake, a Huffless Con is just not a proper Con.
Just a little rough and tumble, Judge man.

Proudhuff

Cheers Dawg, too kind.
:-[
I was really looking forward to Thoughtbubble this year and seeing everyone at the Futurequake table, hopefully we can celebrate Bolt's life and contribution in some way there?
DDT did a job on me

Arms

I'm so sorry his loss will be felt by everyone who knew him and enjoyed his work. :( :angel: