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Judo's sci-fi writing

Started by Judo, 20 February, 2012, 03:13:46 AM

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Judo

I shall be sending in my first ever submission to future shock later this week and was wondering if it is ok to post the full 5 pages here so that I can see what people think. It is a fairly dry, hard science story about a nobel prize winning scientist.

x x
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Emperor

We've kicked that one around before and it is probably best not to post the script publicly here before sending it in, although a post-match analysis is doable. If it gets rejected, of course. Otherwise we'll see you hiding nervously behind some furniture in the prog reviews thread. ;)
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

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bigjobs67

Don't listen to him Judo. Post the fucker and I'll cast my expert eye of it for ya.
'Overwhelming, I'm I not!

Judo

Oh how indecisive you are board but I perhaps shall go with the mod on this one? Can you still copyright things by getting the post office to stamp the date over the letter fold,  posting them to yourself and not opening the letter? That used to hold up in court if need be. Though to be honest as an aspiring writer its hard enough to get anyone to read your stuff as it is so to think the theives are waiting in the wings is hopeful at best. I'm not a professional writer (I have a real job ;P hehe just teasing) but I can flood ideas easily and really just need to tighten my writing a little. Hmm a 1% chance of copyright theft vs the need for constructive criticism... I shall perhaps put a couple of silly panel type things and see if I feel like a lucky punk x x
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

bigjobs67

I was only yankin ya chain there Judo. Def listen to Mr Mods advice and bloody good luck to ya. Hopefully see some of yours in the prog someday. ;)
'Overwhelming, I'm I not!

Judo

Aha I have found the solution! My uncle is a lawyer and I can copyright for free by giving his office it, cos I'm clever like that. Will post myself a copy for added oomf. Ah brain power + google = winner. Stay tuned and I shall put it up soon x x
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

TordelBack

#6
Not wanting to be negative, but I'm not sure that establishing copyright (for whatever that's worth, without an army of lawyers to argue your case) is the only problem here - if a script has entered the pubic domain that is this forum and t'internet in general, Tharg will be less likely to commission it, seeing as a chunk of his audience has already read it.  It's a much milder version of the small-press problem, but without the huge benefits of actually seeing your writing turned into a strip, and all the experience and kudos that entails. 

That said, there's a lot to be learnt by letting the good creative folk here have a rummage about in your script, but I suspect that if you think it really has legs you might be as well to submit to Tharg, wait to see what happens, and if rejected only then put it up for critique/advice here.

DoomBot

What Tordelback said.

Your work is implicitly copyright without getting solicitors involved. But as Tordel says that's not the issue. Submit it to Tharg rather than the board and we'll do our best to cope with the disappointment of not seeing it in advance  ;)

Van Dom

Yep, if Tharg is the ultimate intended recipient, keep it off the boards and the internet in general, fo' shore.
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Emperor

Also remember Tharg is not the only fruit. Submitting a Future Shock and getting feedback can take a while, so it makes sense to be doing small press work where you can hone your skills. When it comes time to submit your next one you'll then be in a much better position that you might have been if you'd just been waiting to hear back from Ol' Green Bonce ;)
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Judo

Thankyou all for the advice. I don't have any 'hardcore' scifi fans to look over it which is my worry but at least it doesn't break any pitchfest rules. I have had it proof read by a couple of small press people and they liked it and showed interest which is good. Perhaps becuase they know I work to brief, have a fucked up imagination and work for free lol ;) but no suggestions for improvements except an indepth discussion over the technical terms 'recession' and 'depression'. Not sure how much panel descriptions to put in so I have left it fairly free for artists interpretation (the old wagner vs moore panel debate lol) so really just needing one scifi fanatic to look over it but I'm sure ill find one x x
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Emperor

#11
Quote from: Judo on 20 February, 2012, 03:46:44 PM
Thankyou all for the advice. I don't have any 'hardcore' scifi fans to look over it which is my worry but at least it doesn't break any pitchfest rules.

A good sign, although, as I've said elsewhere, not necessarily a deal breaker - it is better to know you've scored at least 1 in pitchfest bingo, so you can make sure you bring something new to the trope, rather than stumbling into it and sending Tharg the same twist he has seen a million times.

Quote from: Judo on 20 February, 2012, 03:46:44 PMNot sure how much panel descriptions to put in so I have left it fairly free for artists interpretation (the old wagner vs moore panel debate lol)

Somewhere in the middle is a good compromise, especially if you don't know who will be drawing it. I think we had a thread on that somewhere around here...

[edit: or not, the only thread I can find is older than the one I can picture in my head (but my head is clearly not working right today):
http://forums.2000adonline.com/index.php/topic,31660.0.html

I'm sure it is out there somewhere.]

Quote from: Judo on 20 February, 2012, 03:46:44 PMso really just needing one scifi fanatic to look over it but I'm sure ill find one x x

OK well I suppose I fit the bill if you want me to cast an eye over it before it gets sent off.
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Judo

if you don't mind reading it that would be a big help but you don't need to if you're just being nice. Drop me your facebook addy by pm as I am on my phone which doesn't greatly enjoy email, though it is fine with this forum - ah technology! but as I said it is quite a dry hard science story so that's you're warning.

My questions are...
Is it too dry for 2000ad?
Does the dialogue/text make sense?
Is any of it mundane/unneccessary?
Are the panel descriptions clear enough?
Did you understand the twist?

Yes I couldn't see a thread on it but I shall have a swatch over that thread as advice and opinion is almost always beneficial. Even if I don't agree with it, often especially if I don't agree with it ;) x
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Emperor

Quote from: Judo on 20 February, 2012, 06:22:01 PM
Drop me your facebook addy by pm as I am on my phone which doesn't greatly enjoy email

That would require me to use this Book of Face you mention...
if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Fractal Friction | Tumblr | Google+

Richmond Clements

Worth pointing out that any copyright issues would be moot if the script was accepted, as you would have to sign it over to Rebellion.