Friday chat - what's happening with you?

[JayzusB.Christ]

Loving these stories! They make me feel a bit better about my own near-disaster.

I used to teach a french guy who prided himself on the cooking skills he had in his Parisian blood.  He lodged with a fireman in Dublin. He also loved a drink.  You can see where this is going... the third time he passed out with the pan on, he was kicked out.  And couldn't understand why.

(As an aside, while drunkenly cooking for another couple of mates, he concocted two stunningly exquisite specimens of French cuisine:  Spaghetti Bolognaise and chicken nuggets.)

[The Legendary Shark]

As younglings, my brother and I discovered that throwing snowballs into buckets of burning oil produced a very satisfying nuclear mushroom effect - followed by a much less enjoyable but equally nuclear reaction from Dad*. *This is, of course, in the days before The Environment, hence the burning oil. There was also no such thing as bad parenting and Health & Safety were a double-act on Blackpool's Central Pier.

[Frank]

Conversely, I've discovered a genuine love of arson.

I had to get rid of a mantelpiece the other day. After kicking it to pieces, I arranged it in Darth Vader funeral pyre formation then stood back to watch the inferno.  Nothing.

Half an hour of chucking lit balls of scrunched-up tabloid at it before it dawned on me that a fire surround would probably have been treated to prevent bursting into flames.

All I could think of was to try to intensify the heat by reshaping the pieces into a closed box shape. FOOM! Burnt with the intensity of a gas burner at high heat and made a noise like a waterfall in full flow.

I looked up the definition of pyromania, and if I had an actual psychological condition I'd have experienced arousal and masturbated. Close, though.

 

[The Legendary Shark]

There is certainly something enthralling about a good (preferably tame) fire.

[JayzusB.Christ]

I watch the flames through the window of my little stove (installed by my dad, fair play to him) more than I watch TV.  Fire is ace when it's not acting the bastard.

[I, Cosh]

...just arrived in Liverpool and picked up the new Corto Maltese collection in the comic shop right round the corner from the station.

Oh that must be World's Apart...

Yeah, that was the place. Decent selection of GNs but they were clearly embarrassed of them and had to hide them downstairs.

Only the second time I've ever been to Liverpool and the first was so long ago it may as well be another country!

Had a good time and even through my sour exterior I could feel the good humour of the locals soaking in. Two things I was really surprised by (and bear in mind I've lived in Glasgow for half my life):
- How quickly a howling gale turns to brilliant sunshine.
- How early they start drinking.

Seriously, half the city was pissed by 5pm on Saturday and there wasn't even a match on. Bravo!

[I, Cosh]

Glad to hear that both Jayzus and Tordel survived their respective eye-openers.

The fire thing is weird. I grew up with an open coal fire at home so it's almost just been something normal that you have to be careful of. Had two separate pals at secondary school who were properly obsessed with it. Any time they came round they'd just sit there staring at and trying to find little bits of paper or wood to chuck on. Found that really freaky.

[The Legendary Shark]

I was that child! I used to throw all sorts on our fire - it only took a couple of minor explosions to dissuade me. There's nothing like a face full of little burning splashes of molten plastic for encouraging a re-think.

[JamesC]

Fire is ace when it's not acting the bastard.

If you’d died in the blaze, that would’ve made an amazing epitaph!

[I, Cosh]

Hä. A lad in my class at school stole a strip of magnesium from the science lab, threw that in the fire and blinded his little brother (for half an hour.)

Edit: reply to Sharky

[The Legendary Shark]

Ah, where would we be without little brothers to torment?




Here.

[Funt Solo]

Conversely, I've discovered a genuine love of arson.

There's no need for me to read the rest of that post as the opening line has made me happy enough.

[JayzusB.Christ]

Fire is ace when it's not acting the bastard.

If you’d died in the blaze, that would’ve made an amazing epitaph!

I live in a fibreglass boat with a tank full of diesel, two jerrycans of petrol, a bag of spraypaints, a gas powered fridge and cooker, and a wood burning stove.  When the inevitable happens, you have my full permission to suggest it to my next of kin.

My own childhood fireplace entertainment involved leaving the poker in the fire till it was glowing red, then hitting it off bricks to see if it really would bend like a horseshoe in a blacksmith's.  I worked in a bronze foundry later in life, where that kind of thing got very old very fast. (I got a vicious burn there too, and still have a scar on my wrist. Also, the same foundry is still around and made swords for Jon Snow and the Lannisters.)

[TordelBack]

Can a mod fix the thread title? It should read "Firey chat".

[Hawkmumbler]

Can a mod fix the thread title? It should read "Firey chat".

Post of the week here.