Messages

[Rage]

Beast of... nah Rage for the granny.

[Moses]

Moses for me.

How long does one normally have to wait until one's complimentary graphic novel arrives..?

Once again this thread delivers! Letter writers arrive at the watering hole with breathy excitement. Welcome Andy, or Norton to give you your non-letter name.

To answer your question- you should have had it by now. When I get one in, the graphic novel normally appears with or before the Prog that publishes the letter. Sometimes I feel it's a bit of a spoiler to see the familiar handwriting on the envelope - 'guess I got one in this week' I say to the long suffering wife.

Well done on your great success!

You're not allowed to go from the house to the garage?  Lockdown rules are strict up there!

Beast Towers is a penthouse flat two floors above the sub-level garage. Any attempt to access would result in an attack from Der Fuhrer's shock troops.

[Prog 2248]

Do you know that thing YouTubers do when they pay someone on Fiverr to design their logo? Let's see what £4.50 buys us...

Whaaa? I could pull a better logo out of my aaaaAnd welcome back to another edition of LETTERSENTERTAINYOU the pointless and rarely read analysis of all things 2000ad and Megazine letters pages. This edition comes to you from a state of house arrest as those government drones have ordered us to stay indoors just because of a small virus. And some flashing and public urination and the poking of badgers. We are on many pills and have a fevered state of mind, so there should be no change in the usual quality of this offering.

We are sticking pins in the Prog 2248 Input page this episode, and we have five letters to digest, throw up and send to the lab.

We open in the traditional fashion with the Letter of the Week which is delivered by Steve Hallam from Wrexham. This is Steve's fifth letter to see print in a career that dates back to 2015's Prog 1930 when he scored his only other Letter of the Week hit. He was previously seen in Prog 2165 in a letter that possibly had fewer clichés, but we can't check our garage data file, what with being locked down and all.

Steve says "variety is the spice of life" but chooses to quickly forget this and go down a predictable route of throwing lots of praise and hoping it secures a graphic novel - job done. He does diss 'The Returners' but we doubt that's coming back anyway. Steve  likes the 'one and done' style of the Regened Progs which may be a nice way of saying they're already in the recycling. He uses a clumsy metaphor to describe what we assume to be his child, although it maybe a ventriloquist dummy made out of lager cans - his writing could be clearer. Overall it's a happy tale of a man liking his comic and condemning his offspring to liking it too. Lovely stuff.

Get your vaccinations done quick as we're off to Edinburgh next in the company of new scribe Gary McGovern. Gary openly admits to having never had a letter printed before (SHAME!). He says he sent one, but it wasn't printed. We can only assume that Tharg's empty sack meant that this effort was saved a similar fate. Gary scores the normal brownie points by liking the Regened Prog but secures the bonus plan by praising the Treasury editions also. He does maintain his track record of asking dull questions , eliciting a 'No' from Tharg for his 'Will Savage return?' poser. Will Gary return? Maybe, if he needs to know if 'Moonrunners' is slated for a reboot.

Gary's letter is the 127th to come from Edinburgh and he has some ground to make up on the East Coast leaders Tom Proudfoot on 21 (last seen in 2012 in Meg 234 and later in an old folks' home) and Neil Colquhoun on 16 (last seen in Prog 2151 in 2019). Glasgow has had far more letters printed, with a mighty tally of 162. The leader is Probably Scott Ferguson on 24 although many of his were send from East Kilbride which doesn't really count as Glasgow, or indeed, civilisation. Stephen Watson of Paisley fame has 5 Glasgow letters, but then his Mum kicked him out.

Off to Naughty Norwich next in the company of Michael 'Sofa' Crouch. Michael is a top five letter writer with this offering being his 31st in total. He has an impressive CV which includes 3 Letters of the week and two drawings in Progs 521 and 670. He also has a decent Prog to Meg ratio of 19/12 with this letter taking him to fifth place overall in the Beast chart, on his own. He is now one letter behind Steve Frame for the coveted 4th spot or 'Best of the Rest' as they won't be catching Grant Goggins in third place anytime soon, with his distant total of 44.

Michael controversially gives the Regened Progs a kicking saying they are "a little lightweight". He also doesn't think that a child will buy one and then start buying the Prog off the back of it. Unless it has a plastic toy on the cover and something to sniff, he's probably right. Michael doesn't seem to appreciate that Tharg is aware that his readership is dying off and if he doesn't try something new his audience will soon be a couple of vultures and a disinterested gravedigger. Michael does say that his heart drops when he sees a Regened Prog - We suggest you get that checked Michael; we have a cardiologist on our speed dial if you're keen?

More on the Regened topic next (make it stop!) from Andy Currington on Lancaster who wisely suggests that Tharg start a separate comic to cater for older readers and call it 'Degened'. Brilliant! Nearly as clever as the last time this was floated by an unnamed Paisley lettersmith who suggested the title be the less obvious 'Blue Harbour Genes'. You had to have been there. This is Andy's first letter to see print but that's no excuse! He trails in the wake of Lancaster's 'Mr Letters' Austin 'Officer' Dibble who has seven scores to tell the cats about, the last being in 2017's Prog 2061.

Last up before our lie down is Marcus Nyahoe who, in a bit of symmetry to letter one, is also celebrating his 5th letter to see print. Marcus Tandy was first seen way back in Los Barcos, er, Meg 236 in 2005. He once revealed his address to be in Poulton Le Fylde but has went with Lancashire the majority of times. His last appearance, prior to this, was in 2018's Prog 2101 when he snagged the Letter of the week bragging rights.

Marcus opens by saying he's been losing interest in comics. Well Marcus we've been losing our interest in you too! Don't fret though - it's all a big bait and switch! Marcus loves comics again! He covets a Wagner Dredd which is understandable, but  he also heaps praise on Skip Tracer and Department K which aren't generally the strips most punters would cite in a love of comics essay. Still you pays your money, you have your say. Marcus does however panic towards the end, clearly seeing his letter is a bit short. Oh wait...the colourists - I love them too! Don't we all, but what abut the man who makes the staples? What's he? chopped liver?

Overall a Regened dominated letters page with not a lot of insight -  love it hate it - we all have our opinions and we doubt any of these letters will sway the argument one way or another. It's always nice to have a letters page and it certainly shook some covid germs from our aching faces. That's the cats and neighbours getting it too now! Stay safe and until next time...

Bump! Finishing 2.30 pm tomorrow (Saturday).

[Moses.]

Moses.

My sneckin' brain hurts!

[Mayger]

Mayger takes this particular rammy.

[Moses]

Moses all the way.

[Gronk Affair]

Gronk Affair for the granny!

[Bad Boys Bust]

Bad Boys Bust for me.

[Rage]

Can only reread one? Think I'd go for Rage 3 times out of 5.

[Judgement Day]

Judgement Day casts a long shadow over Mr Sun and Moon.

[The Killing]

The Killing make a killing on this one.