Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[worldshown]

It appears that the DSS don't want me to sign off as they've put so many obstacles in my path that it's driving me nuts.

When I found out I got a job last week, I rang them to let them know, especially as they had booked me in for a course on how to find employment which I now didn't need to go to.

I got passed around and eventually given a number to ring to sign off, but when I rang it they said I couldn't sign off until I'd been on this course. The course on how to find a job. Like the one I've now got.

So, I went on their stupid course, wasting most of last Monday afternoon. Then last Wednesday, the employment agency rang to tell me that the date I was due to start has changed. Late Friday afternoon they tell me I now start today. Too late to get to the jobcentreplus, too late to ring them.

I was due to sign on today, which I can't do because I'm now working. Tried to ring the number I was given last week, which no longer works. Didn't get home until gone 5:00pm so no answer when I rang the other office and it appears that I can't email them either.

Now I'm expecting shitty letters from the DSS asking me why I didn't sign on today.

[The Legendary Shark]

Dear DSS,

Thank you for your continued concern over my well-being. I have actually found a job, but if you'd like to keep paying me unemployment benefit regardless of this fact, then I'm all too happy to accept. I'm sure my new employer will allow me an afternoon off in order to attend your "How To Find a Job, You Dummy" course if this is a prerequisite for continuing to receive your lovely money on top of my wages.

Yours sincerely,

The Poor Sod You're "Helping."

[staticgirl]

That's bizarre. In the old days people either sent in their signing on books or they got cut off the next time they failed to show. Now people don't have so many jobcentres where they can physically sign on you get all sorts of ridiculousness.

I bet those weren't the rules the numpty who signed you up to the course just wanted you to go so they could hit a target.

[House of Usher]

I got signed up to that course - as a matter of routine and with indecent haste, I might add - and by the time it rolled around, you guessed it: I was already in a job and had signed off. Then I got a letter asking me why I had failed to turn up for the course.

[staticgirl]

That's the problem with the benefits system and job hunting systems being separate I guess...

[Roger Godpleton]

It's more than likely that the gang of Mexican youths that attacked Paul McCartney's tour bus in Mexico were not in fact wearing oversized sombreros and ponchos.   

[mogzilla]

I live near Southport. It is neither south (unless compared to places further north, like Iceland) or a port (unless compared to other places that aren't ports, like Cheltenham). (Actually, one of the first buildings in the area was the "Southport Hotel," after which the town took its name. Or so a weird man in a Macintosh once informed me. Wikipedia disagrees, of course.)

Southport is full of vicious old people who smell funny and who ordered the council to move the sea further out to sea as all that water is untrustworthy and frightening. As a result, the beach is turning into a salt marsh, but there are still lots of sand hills up Ainsdale way where one can canoodle in relative obscurity. The Floral Hall would be a good place to hold a comic convention, but they never do. Bastards.

I should get a job for the Tourist Board...

that bleedin coastal road is probably the cause of my carsickness since i was a wee boy...old people  including the one's who blocked our car in with shopping trolleys we got the shop to shift em and as we was strapping mini back in a nob head put another in the way and had to sqeeze it past the car nearly scratching it!

[Radbacker]

OUT OF GAS THISMORNING SO COLD SHOWER!!!!! ITS FRIKEN WINTER HERE FOR F"S SAKE.

CU Radbacker

[Banners]

The staff in Birmingham's Apple Store are a minor impediment as they're all too busy being cool and showing off the shiny hardware to actually serve you. Being a cool place means there's no counter, so you have to stand around like a lemon for 20 minutes hoping to catch someone's eye.

When you do that, you have to endure the process of trying to be sold extended warranties (at these prices, they really shouldn't break down), unnecessary add-ons and one-to-one workshops - even when you have made it abundantly clear that you are not interested.

It might be funky but this is surely no way to treat someone intending to make a four-figure purchase. Just serve me already!

M@

[SuperSurfer]

As a rule, I never buy extended warranties but I make the exception for Apple computers. I had a Mac which was playing up (which I still maintain is pretty rare). It had to go in for repairs twice, once under guarantee and then under AppleCare extended warranty. Saved me a hell of a lot of money. In fact I had a call from AppleCare to say that I was entitled to a completely free new computer but I didn't get a chance to take them up on their offer as I was too busy. Really regret that now.

[The Legendary Shark]

that bleedin coastal road is probably the cause of my carsickness since i was a wee boy...old people  including the one's who blocked our car in with shopping trolleys we got the shop to shift em and as we was strapping mini back in a nob head put another in the way and had to sqeeze it past the car nearly scratching it!

Ah, the bumpy Coast Road! It was constructed on top of a rubbish tip, you know. That's why it's so lovely and undulating today - especially if you hit it at speed.

[Dandontdare]

The staff in Birmingham's Apple Store are a minor impediment as they're all too busy being cool and showing off the shiny hardware to actually serve you. Being a cool place means there's no counter, so you have to stand around like a lemon for 20 minutes hoping to catch someone's eye.

When my i-pod broke, I had to make an appointmemnt with an "Apple Genius", who turned out to be a spotty youth whose only advice was to reset it it and reload everything. Thanks Genius-boy, I could have worked that out myself!

As for Southport, I spent many holidays as a kid on the caravan site across the road from the sand dunes, which were an amazing place to play. I learmned to drive on Southport beach, sitting on my dad's knee while he did the pedals. It's a crying shame that the Pleasure Beach is virtually closed down now - the near-vertical slide in the fun house was ace!

[worldshown]

Two hours and nobody's asked if Dandontdare had tried using cheese on his iPod?

[nev]

Today I bought a flapjack, one I'd tried months before. I was disgusted to find they'd changed the consistency. Repulsive.

[I, Cosh]

Today I bought a flapjack, one I'd tried months before. I was disgusted to find they'd changed the consistency. Repulsive.

It's probably not a deliberate change, so much as natural decomposition.