Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Emperor]

Tidying up I found some mystery DVDs - all just the discs,* most unmarked but one had a name on it "Black Devils," which sounds like an interesting Euro horror film, with an unfortunately translated name, that I couldn't remember seeing.

So I Googled it and found nothing. However, it does have some German text on it along with the title, so I asked my Dad who taught German but he couldn't figure out one of the words. So back to Google I went refining the search terms until I finally found the cover to the video and realised I'd dodged a bullet there - it is German interracial porn with more giant dicks on the cover than a photo of Cameron's cabinet. My brother was going away on a length overseas business trip and some colleagues had decided he should go well supplied so snuck a handful of mucky films into his bag, he panicked and handed them over to me (I think this is also the trip where I had to clean his works laptop up and found a copy of the Anarchist's Cookbook on there for no good reason but with the potential to make Customs very interested in you). I'd not known what to do with them and thrown them in the back of a cupboard to confuse and upset any releatives cleaning up after my death, and only succeeded in confusing myself.

Now I've got to hunt down all the other unmarked discs, find a way to dispose of them that doesn't result in some variety of accidental discovery and hope that there isn't a rogue disc shuffled in with my other DVDs and CDs that will turn up at just the wrong moment and cause major embrassment (like if it got swapped in with my brother's wedding video by some farcical quirk of fate). Now I know how the nuclear waste disposal industry feels, kinda.

* not much of a surprise as I get sent a lot of screeners, so many I may have to offload some to anyone who is interested here at some point

[TordelBack]

My brother was going away on a length overseas business trip and some colleagues had decided he should go well supplied so snuck a handful of mucky films into his bag, he panicked and handed them over to me...

Must remember that one, it's almost believable...

[Rog69]

That reminds me of a porn mag that a friend of mine acquired that featured some very ropey looking old women. We ended up in a tit for tat war where we would alternately try to secrete the publication in each others houses hoping that it would be found by someone and cause much embarrassment.

Years later I had forgotten about the damn thing until I was taking delivery of a new bed and my wife found it in the divan drawer on my side  .

[COMMANDO FORCES]

That War should have been called 'Tit for Twat' if you ask me 

[Proudhuff]

so I asked my Dad who taught German but he couldn't figure out one of the words.

or was to  to say???

[Emperor]

My brother was going away on a length overseas business trip and some colleagues had decided he should go well supplied so snuck a handful of mucky films into his bag, he panicked and handed them over to me...

Must remember that one, it's almost believable...

Be warned, this only works with male family members and close friends, it is not effective against wives/girlfriends or the police/customs.

so I asked my Dad who taught German but he couldn't figure out one of the words.

or was to  to say???

Well perhaps, bt it might be a little obscure, as it wasn't in a German dictionary either. It translated as "filthpigs".

[Tiplodocus]

I attempted to start a witty thread on which Boarders could post amusing imaginary posts that they'd lost in the server move but it got locked.

[I, Cosh]

I attempted to start a witty thread on which Boarders could post amusing imaginary posts that they'd lost in the server move but it got locked.

That's because I started just such a thread last Saturday night.

[Emperor]

I attempted to start a witty thread on which Boarders could post amusing imaginary posts that they'd lost in the server move but it got locked.

That's because I started just such a thread last Saturday night.

Or because a stupid moderator skimmed the thread and misunderstood its intent. It should now be open again.

[Batman's Superior Cousin]

Once again, I've failed my Driving Test!!!!

[The Doctor Alt 8]

Be grateful your not in Germany. If you fail your test 3 times they send you for phsicological testing to see if you have a problem... If you do, the forbid you to attempt to learn to drive. The result? Germans come HERE to take their tests where it's conciderably easier...

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Unlucky BSC 

Did the tester tell you where you went wrong, so you can do some extra lessons on those areas!

[Batman's Superior Cousin]

1) A car nearly reversed into me when I left the DSA car park (I failed to spot the damn car in time).

2) When approaching a medium to large roundabout, I entered said roundabout in 2nd Gear (even though there was just a mini approaching the roundabout from the opposite, I "should have stopped at the roundabout since the mini was halfway round the roundabout").

[radiator]

My girlfriend is working today, so I have the flat to myself, some beers, and a copy of Warhammer 40000: Space Marine. Unfortunately, I now also have to work, so there goes that idea.

[Emperor]

1) A car nearly reversed into me when I left the DSA car park (I failed to spot the damn car in time).

I hit the gatepost when driving out of the test centre (didn't count as I hadn't actually started the test). I completely cocked up other bits and got a verbal warning for driving on the wrong side of the road when there was a vehicle approaching from the other direction (it was miles off, the pussy), but still passed first time. The only explanation my instructor could come up with was that the guy doing the test was "Nervous" Norman and I'd scared him so much he passed me so he wouldn't have the prospect of getting in the same car as me hanging over him. Soooooooooo try driving like a maniac or offer them sex.