Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[Frank]

I'm glad I wasn't drinking my tea when I read Tordelback's response else my screen would be wrecked.

If you're suffering from the same explosive diarrhea as SBT you should try to face away from the screen.

[Emperor]

I decide to stick a rocket up the arse of a seller on eBay after my order hadn't turned up in over week. Checking to see who it was I find that in fact I never did make the order. Apparently not every part of the Internet is thought-controlled, although this is probably for the best but still... I order it and they refunded my money. Apparently this is not meant to be. Clearly the Internet is being very badly behaved and we will need to have words, I just have to go and stick a rocket up my arse, then go to hospital. My bottom will probably still be better off than SBT's.

[Frank]

... because this article turns out not to be providing a suggestion for the ideal holiday destination

NICOTINE, VALIUM, VICODIN, MARIJUANA, ECSTACY AND ALCOHOL

[vzzbux]

Guess who forgot his 11th wedding anniversary?
OOOOOOOP's.





V

[Colin MacNeil]

Guess who forgot his 11th wedding anniversary?
OOOOOOOP's.

I was going to say that I was having a crap evening after driving a screw through a water pipe under the floor leading to copious amounts of water flooding down through the downstairs ceiling, however after your problems Vzzbux I don't feel so bad any more.

I feel lucky in comparison to you.

[vzzbux]

It's not that bad Colin although I am sleeping with one eye open. The missus seems pretty fine about it. I have not long bought her a motorola tablet so that may have sweetened it a little.
Other to note my eldest is 16 tomorrow. God I feel old.





V

[Dandontdare]

I reluctantly agreed to do 3 hours of "essential" training as overtime as they don't have enough bodies to take us all off the phones during our normal shifts. So today I'm supposed to be working 8-4:30, with training 5-8, but they've just told us that both people on the late shift are off sick so could we just work through?  12 bloody hours!

[vzzbux]

Funny that our company I work for likes to move the goal posts like that.





V

[SmallBlueThing]

Because it's half twelve and there's no prog 1792 thread. Im tempted to start one just to bemoan this fact, but feel thse who take that kind of behaviour far too seriously may have heart attacks.

SBT

[Zarjazzer]

BT have decided to fuck up my e-mail . That's just what I pay you for you fucking clowns.

[Professor Bear]

Last week I also had the camera shoved up the poop-pipe and I can confirm the drugs they give you are fantastic, though unhelpfully they choose to tell you the results of your exam while you're still under the effects so all I can remember is being a room with the Clangers.  Movicol was the stuff they gave me to clear me out the day before and I'm surprised SBT doesn't mention the best part of that experience, when the acid in your stomach juices starts burning the skin off not just your ringpiece but the arse cheeks as well.  Horrible, but now at least I can say I've had the endoscope hat-trick of having a camera jammed into my stomach, urethra and bowels - in that order, thankfully.  Never go ass to mouth!

Also Blue Balls, which I can confirm is a real thing.  A really, really painful thing which felt like a pained meatball-sized lump in my left knacker for about a day that's left me with a limp even after the meatball in question disappeared suddenly, prompting my GP's professional opinion of "just one of them things."
I am considering if it is worth seeking a second opinion.

[SmallBlueThing]

Ooh, movelat didnt do that to me. I hope you mentioned that to the doctors, as it sounds like you may have a very sensitive anus- which may explain why we never see you at commando forces' organised get-togethers, winky winky.

Hope all better now though- it ain't pleasant, that's for sure.

SBT

[COMMANDO FORCES]

He has an open invitation any time 

[Proudhuff]

Edinburgh Fringe, nuff said

[TordelBack]

Extracted from the attic and plugged in my very old (bought 1997, last used 2003) PC today to try to find some old files which seem to have vanished from my backup disks.  Very loud bang, lots of smoke, totally dead.  Ehh?  Investigating I found a teeny tiny red switch on the back which I had never noticed before.  It was set to '115'.  The other setting was '230'.  Yes, you guessed it, my PC had a switch to allow it work on the US domestic power supply without an external transformer.  A switch that was obviously capable of being flicked accidentally at some point in its journey to or from the attic.  This is the stupidest piece of design I have ever encountered, and my country has trains where you have to lean out of the window to open the door because they only have handles on the outside.