Hivemind guidance...

[Dog Deever]

Odd request really-
I find myself having to resign a job to take up a better offer elsewhere. Being a relative 'newbie' to the so called 'professions', I've never had to write a formal letter of resignation. But I have to write one tonight, handing my notice in tomorrow. The only jobs I've ever quit before were minimum wage manual shite where I took great delight in saying:
"Take this job and shove it...!"

I can't burn any bridges here, as I'll still be working for the same company one day a week in another post, and I have no idea what a letter of resignation should be like. Can anyone offer any advice?

[Buttonman]

You want to keep it simple and straightforward. Don't go into the whys and wherefores of your leaving and don't say anything that could be seen as snidey or misinterpreted. You want to keep them onside for references if nothing else. A small smidgen of buttering up never goes amiss. Something like...

Dear Mr Jones,

Please accept this letter as formal notice of my intention to resign my position with the company from today's date.

I will of course work the mandatory four week notice period and thank you for the assistance and guidance you have given me up to now.

Yours Sincerely...

PS Shove your job up your arse.

[Dog Deever]

Cheers Buttonman, I've been stressing all day about having to write this, as I say, I haven't got a clue about all these formalities- most contracts I've had have been verbal agreements and I've just walked away with a spring in my heel and never a look back.

[TordelBack]

If you want to keep those bridges unburnt, buttonman's format is spot-on, but as an employer myself, I can tell you there's no harm in a little flattery - "I have enjoyed working with this company over the past XXXX, but feel that I now need to move on to develop my long-term career goals"... or some such crap.  You'd be surprised how much employers like to think they're appreciated, and there's a legitimate reason you're moving over to the competition - even if they 've done nothing to deserve it.  We're a needy bunch of friendless egotists, basically.  

[Dog Deever]

Cheers again, I have enjoyed working there, and my boss is generally ok, if a little bit of a stickler. It's a simple matter of having to drive 67 miles of shitty roads to get there (with no travelling expenses/ time paid) vs travelling 4 miles to get to my new job. Money's the same, jobs the same, holidays are better.

[Dog Deever]

does this sound ok?
"
Dear XXXX,

Please accept this letter as formal notice of my intention to resign my position as Art Tutor from today's date.

I will, of course, be happy to work the mandatory four-week notice period and would also like to take this opportunity to thank you for the assistance and guidance you have given me up to now.
I would also like to express that I have very much enjoyed my time here at the LSE centre. Experience gained here has been very useful in my professional development and I wish all of the staff and students the very best regards for the future.

Yours Sincerely,

"

[Buttonman]

I think that ticks all the boxes Dog, and importantly doesn't leave you open to interrogation - why aren't you happy? What can we do to keep you etc.

Just make sure you deliver it in the style of the Prisoner opening credits!

[Dog Deever]

Cheers lads, very much appreciated!

(Maybe it should be The Prisoner closing credits.)

[Dounreay]

Only one point to add to the excellent advice offered already.

There may be an exit interview. Some employers do this, some don't. Usually a few questions about why are you leaving, what could we have done to make you stay, that kind of thing.

Like the letter, best to be polite, tactful but honest. Most employers worth their salt appreciate the feedback.  

 

[Dog Deever]

Cheers, Dounray, where I work is in Aberdeenshire, and my employer is in Lanarkshire so I doubt this will be too much of an issue- at worst it might be done by my manager, who I get along with quite well- although I suspect my next 4 weeks will be filled with pissing and moaning about it! Time to cash in those holidays accrued to ease the burden, I think!

[Buttonman]

Of course it depends if they want you to stay of course - you might hand it over and the boss bursts into a chorus of Zipity-doo-dah!

Do you mean the end creits where the bars fall down? Or are you planning on making off on an oversized penny farthing.

I've only resigned once but that was just a verbal 'I won't be in again, thanks' to the pleasant enough Mrs Dunsmuir, manager of Poundstretcher Coatbridge.

When I was resigned by my employer of 17 years I scanned over all the bullshit and waffle and went straight to the details of the pay off package. Your boss will probably be the same, scanning it to see if 'sexual harassment', 'wanker' or 'pissed in the kettle' are mentioned.

[Dog Deever]

I don't think he'll want me to leave, it was hard enough trying to get a reprobate cunt like me to fill the post, never mind somebody desirable (in the employment sense!). He's always been very complementary (to my face) and I understand he's sung my praises to his bosses, but budgets are budgets, and the only things which would make me stay are travelling expenses (I've used up one perfectly good car already) and/ or the invention of teleporter devices (or body swaps, like in Bison/ Xchange).
Because of the distance between employer and workplace, 'Continuous Professional Development' has been virtually non-existant except for mandatory self-defence. My new employer promises much, including the possibility of TQFE's and Masters. Can't sniff at that.

[Dog Deever]

I don't think he'll want me to leave, it was hard enough trying to get a reprobate cunt like me to fill the post, never mind somebody desirable (in the employment sense!). He's always been very complementary (to my face) and I understand he's sung my praises to his bosses, but budgets are budgets, and the only things which would make me stay are travelling expenses (I've used up one perfectly good car already) and/ or the invention of teleporter devices (or body swaps, like in Bison/ Xchange).
Because of the distance between employer and workplace, 'Continuous Professional Development' has been virtually non-existant except for mandatory self-defence. My new employer promises much, including the possibility of TQFE's and Masters. Can't sniff at that.

[TordelBack]

Most employers worth their salt appreciate the feedback.

Exit interviews are one of the most useful company development tools there are, even if they are a bloody pain for all concerned.  People have a tendency to be brutally honest about problems they've encountered, things that they might not tell you in any other 'review' format.  

As the employer/manager, you find yourself sitting there thinking (and even saying) "why the fuck didn't you tell me that months ago, that's appalling!", and then realising it's because you're making inadequate attempts to get feedback with / maintain communication with your staff - it's a fucking pisser when it happens, but can be a hell of a wake-up call.  

I've no time for most management bullshit, but I'd encourage anyone to give exit interviews a go, and far more importantly make time to source honest opinion from your colleagues before they decide to walk.

[Dog Deever]

Well, there are one or two things I found extremely frustrating, although I've pointed these out before- I've never been able to 'haud ma wheesht' about things that need to be addressed...