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Author Topic: The Letters Beast - Online!  (Read 38137 times)

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #180 on: 29 June, 2021, 12:10:07 AM »
I apologise for the cheap dig Tom, of course your hair is all your own. Indeed I've seen the receipt for it.

(C) The Old Jokes Home

Proudhuff

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #181 on: 30 June, 2021, 03:10:45 PM »
as soon as its back from the weavers, I'll be round your way to pish on your garden wall!
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Large48

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #182 on: 05 July, 2021, 11:10:31 AM »
as soon as its back from the weavers, I'll be round your way to pish on your garden wall!

Ah fond memories of the Helltrek.....
[size=40]Train Hard - Run Fast - Hit to Kill[/size]

Proudhuff

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #183 on: 06 July, 2021, 03:44:40 PM »
as soon as its back from the weavers, I'll be round your way to pish on your garden wall!

Ah fond memories of the Helltrek.....

There's a photo somewhere of Hi-Ex Grandees (and the Helltrekkers) gathered together, possibly with large red BANNED stamped on the majority of them now
DDT did a job on me

Funt Solo

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #184 on: 06 July, 2021, 03:57:30 PM »
Perma-bans are weird. Like, why does being naughty on a comic's forum warrant a lifetime ban? (I realize, by back-seat modding I'm also breaking a rule here. I could back-seat mod some more and give myself a stern talking to about that.)

Power to the forumites!  :-\
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IndigoPrime

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #185 on: 06 July, 2021, 04:36:29 PM »
The number of bans from this forum are vanishingly low, outside of obvious spam. Any people who have been banned have been warned repeatedly about unacceptable behaviour and given temporary bans prior to a permanent one. The latter is always a last resort and happens after further warnings are ignored. Despite this being a forum for a comic, we don’t take banning people lightly.

Tjm86

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #186 on: 06 July, 2021, 04:56:05 PM »
In all honesty I'd have to say that the number of permanent bans I recall having seen over the years can be counted on the fingers of one hand.  Pre-ban comment behaviour in one case strayed into downright bizarre territory.  It's not so much a case of being 'naughty' as engaging in discourse of a vitriolic or abusive nature.

I know that occasionally discussions can become heated, especially when they involve passionately held beliefs, but for the most part this is quite a civil community.  There are those in other spaces that feel differently to be sure.

Considering the flippancy, irreverence and occasionally (okay, frequently) scatological nature of some of our discussions that is not a small feat when you think about it.

Funt Solo

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #187 on: 06 July, 2021, 05:00:25 PM »
Thanks for the explanation, IP.
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Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #188 on: 08 July, 2021, 08:05:43 PM »
This thread is the nicest corner of the internet. I find the lack of people passing through helps a lot.

Colin YNWA

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #189 on: 08 July, 2021, 09:51:07 PM »
This thread is the nicest corner of the internet. I find the lack of people passing through helps a lot.

Hey we pass through, all the time. We just pass straight on by...

I'm watching The Muppets and trying to channel statler and Waldorf... I'm sorry...

Tjm86

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #190 on: 08 July, 2021, 10:32:43 PM »
and trying to channel statler and Waldorf... I'm sorry...[/i]

two individuals that my wife will not allow me to wear in public, despite their tagline ...

(but my daughters will ...)

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #191 on: 28 July, 2021, 10:18:17 PM »

And we’re back once again. Big Deal! What’s popular this week? ‘Tiger King’? Tik-Tok? Let’s just do the  Olympics and get on with it. We should point out that the Olympics we are referring to is the Olympic Kebab and Gyro House in the High Street and not any corporate sporting event that likes to sue people. The five rings shown in our tasteful logo represent the five strengths of hot sauce that are available. We end up with the red ring every time.

A nice sextet of letters here in Prog 2242 with all writers being seasoned published veterans - we don’t want no newbies here, what with their fresh ideas and differing styles.

We open with Ian Hewitt from USA Stateside in the Letter of the Week berth. Tharg clearly likes American things now.  Ian wasn’t always a friend of Donald and used to hail from Skegness. His record of 15 letters also shows that post boxes from as far afield as Wyoming and Bennington have been visited. Prior to this offering he was last seen in Prog 2123 in 2019.

Ian starts out with a ‘Tharg Me Old  Mate’ greeting which is a bit uncouth - doesn’t  Uncle Sam teach any goddamn manners any more? Ian points out some flaws in Rogue Trooper (and it’s a short letter too!) which Tharg readily concedes. A small smile was earned from this correspondent!

Next up is Tristan ‘Fourmile’ Louth of Essex who scores his n-n-n-nineteeth letter to see print. Tristan has a dozen Prog letters to his name and a single Letter of the Week credit, dating from Prog 1343. His first outing was in Prog 1002 in 1996 which means he’s celebrating his silver letters anniversary this year.

Tristan knows on which side his plastic cups are buttered and waxes lyrical about the ‘Regened’ issues, especially the child friendly antics of  Department K. He shows his expert comics knowledge and detective skills by deducing that ‘Kirby’ may be named after a Marvel artist named Jack - we thought it was after that yellow ball fella from the video game? Never shy of a cliché, Tristan says the Prog is “firing on all cylinders” - we knwee he was gonna say that. He closes by saying Tharg can get away with stuff as every issue is different. So much more wordy than ‘an anthology’ but we like it anyway!

Old hand Craig Grannell of Pants, sorry Hants, next in a tie breaking 27th letter offering. This breaks Craig’s tie with Dr ‘Call me Doctor’  Rich Evans and takes him up to 9th place on the all time Beast Chart. He is now only two shy of Alan Holloway who we haven’t seen for a while. Craig boasts 23 Prog letters, but not one ‘Letter of the Week’. Good taste that Betelguesian!

Craig ploughs a well worn furrow here, basically stealing content from this publication,  as he comments on a previous letter. Craig thinks the suggested split old/new Prog won’t work for reasons revealed in this very blog! All’s fair in love and letters so well done Craig and we hope you enjoy your ‘adult themed magazines‘, er Prog.

The fourth letter of the week award goes to Nic Freeman of that London who thinks Dylan Teague should put down his colouring pencils and do some proper work. Bit disrespectful to the poor old colourists there, who will be weeping into their dirty pot of water as they try not to go over the lines. Tharg points out that Dylan has drawn stuff before, a fact known only to every other person reading the issue.

Nic can be forgiven however, as this is only his second letter after a star letter debut in 2015’s Prog 1937. There have been two previous ‘Freemen of the Prog’ - J.D. in Prog 316 and Adam in Prog 840 who treated us to his Judge Mellie. Bollocks.

Not much left now with Darren Nash of Northern Ireland taking the penultimate spot.  Darren has a long letters career spanning six letters in total that dates back to Prog 933 in 1995. He had a star letter in Prog 2000 and was last seen previously in Prog 1661 in 2009.

Darren is a hard to please customer, liking everything in the Prog. Judge Dredd is never not decent, -Cough *Crusade* Cough - according to Darren and he closes with a brickbat by saying he’s enjoying all of the current line up. Can’t recall a Northern Irishman ever being so agreeable!

We close up in Olympic heartland Japan with our resident Far East correspondent Chris Doherty. Chris wastes his opening line by name checking his own letter and says he’s ‘digging’ some thrills. Say it man! Far out! Dylan Teague gets his third mention in as many letters as Chris makes many positive noises and  asks a pay dirt question about Dreddlines.

Chris  has had three letters published in total with this offering adding to his double from Progs 1681 and 2234.

Overall a good outing here, with a welcome statement from Tharg that Dreddlines is not dead; just unloved. I know at least one person whose been writing in! We’ll finish up now as the typewriter needs to be oiled up. Well that’s what we call her through the week. No newbies on show here but some power moves in the all time list as shown below.

See you at the post-box!



Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #192 on: 30 July, 2021, 12:27:04 AM »
Worthy Dreddline letter appeal right HERE!

Buttonman

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #193 on: 06 September, 2021, 05:16:31 PM »
Do you know that thing YouTubers do when they pay someone on Fiverr to design their logo? Let’s see what £4.50 buys us…


Whaaa? I could pull a better logo out of my aaaaAnd welcome back to another edition of LETTERSENTERTAINYOU the pointless and rarely read analysis of all things 2000ad and Megazine letters pages. This edition comes to you from a state of house arrest as those government drones have ordered us to stay indoors just because of a small virus. And some flashing and public urination and the poking of badgers. We are on many pills and have a fevered state of mind, so there should be no change in the usual quality of this offering.

We are sticking pins in the Prog 2248 Input page this episode, and we have five letters to digest, throw up and send to the lab.

We open in the traditional fashion with the Letter of the Week which is delivered by Steve Hallam from Wrexham. This is Steve’s fifth letter to see print in a career that dates back to 2015’s Prog 1930 when he scored his only other Letter of the Week hit. He was previously seen in Prog 2165 in a letter that possibly had fewer clichés, but we can’t check our garage data file, what with being locked down and all.

Steve says “variety is the spice of life” but chooses to quickly forget this and go down a predictable route of throwing lots of praise and hoping it secures a graphic novel - job done. He does diss ‘The Returners’ but we doubt that’s coming back anyway. Steve  likes the ‘one and done’ style of the Regened Progs which may be a nice way of saying they’re already in the recycling. He uses a clumsy metaphor to describe what we assume to be his child, although it maybe a ventriloquist dummy made out of lager cans - his writing could be clearer. Overall it’s a happy tale of a man liking his comic and condemning his offspring to liking it too. Lovely stuff.

Get your vaccinations done quick as we’re off to Edinburgh next in the company of new scribe Gary McGovern. Gary openly admits to having never had a letter printed before (SHAME!). He says he sent one, but it wasn’t printed. We can only assume that Tharg’s empty sack meant that this effort was saved a similar fate. Gary scores the normal brownie points by liking the Regened Prog but secures the bonus plan by praising the Treasury editions also. He does maintain his track record of asking dull questions , eliciting a ‘No’ from Tharg for his ‘Will Savage return?’ poser. Will Gary return? Maybe, if he needs to know if ‘Moonrunners’ is slated for a reboot.

Gary’s letter is the 127th to come from Edinburgh and he has some ground to make up on the East Coast leaders Tom Proudfoot on 21 (last seen in 2012 in Meg 234 and later in an old folks’ home) and Neil Colquhoun on 16 (last seen in Prog 2151 in 2019). Glasgow has had far more letters printed, with a mighty tally of 162. The leader is Probably Scott Ferguson on 24 although many of his were send from East Kilbride which doesn’t really count as Glasgow, or indeed, civilisation. Stephen Watson of Paisley fame has 5 Glasgow letters, but then his Mum kicked him out.

Off to Naughty Norwich next in the company of Michael ‘Sofa’ Crouch. Michael is a top five letter writer with this offering being his 31st in total. He has an impressive CV which includes 3 Letters of the week and two drawings in Progs 521 and 670. He also has a decent Prog to Meg ratio of 19/12 with this letter taking him to fifth place overall in the Beast chart, on his own. He is now one letter behind Steve Frame for the coveted 4th spot or ‘Best of the Rest’ as they won’t be catching Grant Goggins in third place anytime soon, with his distant total of 44.

Michael controversially gives the Regened Progs a kicking saying they are “a little lightweight”. He also doesn’t think that a child will buy one and then start buying the Prog off the back of it. Unless it has a plastic toy on the cover and something to sniff, he’s probably right. Michael doesn’t seem to appreciate that Tharg is aware that his readership is dying off and if he doesn’t try something new his audience will soon be a couple of vultures and a disinterested gravedigger. Michael does say that his heart drops when he sees a Regened Prog - We suggest you get that checked Michael; we have a cardiologist on our speed dial if you’re keen?

More on the Regened topic next (make it stop!) from Andy Currington on Lancaster who wisely suggests that Tharg start a separate comic to cater for older readers and call it ‘Degened’. Brilliant! Nearly as clever as the last time this was floated by an unnamed Paisley lettersmith who suggested the title be the less obvious ‘Blue Harbour Genes’. You had to have been there. This is Andy’s first letter to see print but that’s no excuse! He trails in the wake of Lancaster’s ‘Mr Letters’ Austin ’Officer’ Dibble who has seven scores to tell the cats about, the last being in 2017’s Prog 2061.

Last up before our lie down is Marcus Nyahoe who, in a bit of symmetry to letter one, is also celebrating his 5th letter to see print. Marcus Tandy was first seen way back in Los Barcos, er, Meg 236 in 2005. He once revealed his address to be in Poulton Le Fylde but has went with Lancashire the majority of times. His last appearance, prior to this, was in 2018’s Prog 2101 when he snagged the Letter of the week bragging rights.

Marcus opens by saying he’s been losing interest in comics. Well Marcus we’ve been losing our interest in you too! Don’t fret though - it’s all a big bait and switch! Marcus loves comics again! He covets a Wagner Dredd which is understandable, but  he also heaps praise on Skip Tracer and Department K which aren’t generally the strips most punters would cite in a love of comics essay. Still you pays your money, you have your say. Marcus does however panic towards the end, clearly seeing his letter is a bit short. Oh wait…the colourists - I love them too! Don’t we all, but what abut the man who makes the staples? What’s he? chopped liver?

Overall a Regened dominated letters page with not a lot of insight -  love it hate it - we all have our opinions and we doubt any of these letters will sway the argument one way or another. It’s always nice to have a letters page and it certainly shook some covid germs from our aching faces. That’s the cats and neighbours getting it too now! Stay safe and until next time…

« Last Edit: 06 September, 2021, 05:22:55 PM by Buttonman »

Proudhuff

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Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
« Reply #194 on: 07 September, 2021, 11:37:23 AM »
Nearly a decade since matron last gave me my crayons? nooooo!... :'(

I may see if there's a green biro down the back of the sofa ;)
DDT did a job on me