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Messages - The Enigmatic Dr X

Pages: 1 ... 390 391 [392] 393 394 ... 397
Off Topic / Religious Oppression
« on: 13 February, 2003, 06:18:07 PM »
The census results have just been released. When asked to give details of their religion, 367,000 respondents said they were "Jedi Knights". That's 100,000 Jedis than there are Jews.

While this is clearly a piss-take, the government has lumped the Jedi respondents in with heathens, atheists and pagans as having no religion.

This seems a bit rich to me. If someone has taken the time to indicate what they consider to be their religion, surely they deserve to be recognised? Who is the government to dictate what is, and is not, a religion?

I'm not very bright on the technical front but I think the link is: http://www.kli.org/

General / Family ties
« on: 13 February, 2003, 02:24:19 PM »
I was re-reading some old Invasion stuff last night and it suddenly struck me - surely Big Dave is the son of Bill Savage? They live in the same town and share the same outlook on life. Who else d'ya think is related?

Could D.R. be the rebellious teenage offspring of TMO?

Off Topic / Re: birthday surprise
« on: 13 February, 2003, 02:29:04 PM »
True evil! How did you manage to keep a straight face? In a similar vein, I once had a girl in my work phone up my next door neighbour to arrange an interview at the station to discuss unpaid parking tickets. Not in the same league, but I found it funny.

Prog / Re: X Men 2 trailer verdict.........
« on: 13 February, 2003, 02:27:07 PM »
Does that mean that cinemas choose what trailers to show? I never knew that. I thought film companies paid to have their trailer shown before a similar genre film (although it might explain why the Cineworld in Falkrik insists on showing romantic comedy trailers before every horror or sci-fi film).

General / Re: Need question answered...........
« on: 12 February, 2003, 08:33:29 PM »
Been reading it 7858 days, 2 hours, 31 minutes and 34 seconds for me.

And I don't think it too many!

(Does that qualify for the other thread?)

Have to say, being a frusrtated writer type myself, I would be quite fecked off if someone who has never read a prog (much less suffered Soul Sisters without complaint) got a script accepted. Especailly as none of mine bloddy are!

General / Re: You know what thought did........
« on: 04 March, 2003, 02:55:32 PM »
Two random thoughts, one of which is quite scary:

First (non-scary), on the subject of viewing figures I would add that Sky digital has an accurate set of viewing figures cos their digibox is linked to your phone line and it records your channel hopping then beams this to their headquarters early in the morning. Bear this in mind if you ever "stumble" across a freeview (whatever that is). The connection also updates software in the box.

Second (and scary), why do British polling cards have numbers on them? I'm talking about the slip of paper you actually mark to vote. In the last three elections (two general, one local) I notcied that my polling card had a number on it. I took the postcard thingie you get to the voting station and handed it over, my details were recorded in a big pad of paper and then I was given a polling card - but the number of my card was recorded against my name. This preturbs me cos it means the gpovenrment could find out how I voted.

This is not necessarily a big issue - I am happy to admit I voted labour on all occassions - but what it someone spoiled their vote as a protest, or voted green as a protest (which I intend doing at the next election)?

Votes are meant to be secret, are they not?

Mega-city UK? Democracy now!

General / Re: You know what thought did........
« on: 12 February, 2003, 05:01:42 PM »
Eyebrows are supposed to keep sweat from getting into your eyes (which they do)

And men have nipples cos we start to develop female breasts as a foetus and then our chromosomes switch, we become blokes, and then they stop developing.

Christ, I can be a boring know-it-all.

Anyway, to bring down the tone, why are you never offended by  your own farts?

General / Re: Crossover Ideas
« on: 12 February, 2003, 04:21:18 PM »
Ghandi vs the Mekon

Megazine / Re: SPOILERS! 1327 and Megazine......
« on: 12 February, 2003, 04:25:35 PM »
I didn't get Black Siddha, nor did I get Bec & Cawl. Both seem a wee bit gimmicky to me. Or maybe I'm just suffering from being away over the weekend.

General / Re: Halo
« on: 11 February, 2003, 03:27:44 PM »
The vast majoirty of X-Box games don't suffer slow down during multiplayer games. I think this is to do with the fact that they are designed to support a maximum number of players without lag or degradation of performace (1-4 per machine in the case of Halo) and simply don't allow more players to join in if there is likely to be any lag or other problem. The best Halo combination is no more than 2 players per box cos otherwise you have a lot of small screens on the one telly and it gets hard to follow what's going on.

The other thing about Halo is that it only moves at 30 fps , not the 60 that most PC games run at - you hardly notice the difference when playing but this means that on mulitplayer games the machine doesn't have to do as much work as on a conventional game.

As for getting one, I think they are very good. Although I have a PC too, for strategy games, the XBox seems to be the maximum technical standard that PC games are developed to - presumably to allow them to be ported across easily enough. It means you get all the good "action" PC games on a machine that's a fraction of the cost of a high end PC.

That said, I am still getting a new PC to play Doom 3 on!

General / Re: ever used a tooth line ?.........
« on: 10 February, 2003, 05:25:50 PM »
The only line I ever use is so obscure I don't know why I bother. If someone asks me how I know something (when I'm being a general knowledge bore) then I answer:

"I know lots of things - Cat's Cradle!"

I'm not a member of the Prog 534 club, but the image of PJ Maybe saying that has really stuck in my head.(If you remember, he's asked if he knows anything about the murders in his block, and he is making a cat's cradle with string at the time)

General / Re: PC Game
« on: 12 February, 2003, 09:12:02 PM »
I am totally with Askham.
I like blowing things up on my PC.

Come on Rebellion, this has GOT to be a (hidden) feature in Dredd v Death.

It won't be a fps without a shotgun.

Can't you picture the dialogue?

"The crime isss life. The sssentence is death..."

BLAM! (or BUDDA BUDDA, ideally)

"Dirty Volg agent! Eat lead!"

Hell, why stop there? If there's going to be a multiplayer mode then why not have characters as the models?

Off Topic / Re: Embarrassing tales to waste yo...
« on: 10 February, 2003, 05:33:16 PM »
My brother once went out with his girlfriend's family (brother, sister, parents) to an Indian Restaurant. They were celebrating her dad's 50th. A lot of drink was consumed, and both her dad and my brother had the hottest curry available. They all then spent the night at her parent's house. (He slept on the couch).

Anyway, next morning he wakes up to find that he urgently needs to make a deposit in the porcelain bank, if you get my drift - the curry from the night before is back with a vengance. Problem is, there is only one bathroom... and her dad is in it with the same problem as my brother.

Frantic pounding on the door ensues, but to no avail - her dad can't move because he is copiously releiving himself.

With nothing left to do, my brother has to form a little pouch with his underpants and then do his business. He throws the resulting mess out of a window, only for it to stick on the kitchen window sill.

They all have breakfast -  a good old fashioned fry up to clear their heads. It gets a bit smokey and the window is opened.

The resulting breeze brings with it an overpowering aroma of freshly deposited jobbie.

He gets married in April, to someone else. Think I should mention this in the best man speech? (No, I won't - don't worry!)

Off Topic / What would you say...?
« on: 06 February, 2003, 10:14:53 PM »
If you were going to bunk off your work tomorrow, maybe to head off for the weekend somewhere, what would your excuse be? If illness related, is it better to bugger off early the night before and claim to be ill?

Not that I would do such a thing. Oh no, not me. No way siree. Absolutely not. Never. Uh-uh.

General / What would you say...?
« on: 06 February, 2003, 10:14:53 PM »
If you were going to bunk off your work tomorrow, maybe to head off for the weekend somewhere, what would your excuse be? If illness related, is it better to bugger off early the night before and claim to be ill?

Not that I would do such a thing. Oh no, not me. No way siree. Absolutely not. Never. Uh-uh.

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