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Author Topic: Get Fact!  (Read 105336 times)

WoD

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #270 on: 02 April, 2003, 06:38:04 PM »
FACT:  The Simpsons 'Top Trumps' game scoring is way off and makes a mockery of all that makes Top Trumps a valuable source of protein.

The Enigmatic Dr X

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #271 on: 02 April, 2003, 06:51:30 PM »
You can get 50% off a New Scientist subscription if you call 01622 778000 and quote code 1431. It's the second best thing to come through my letterbox every week.
Lock up your spoons!

karne

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #272 on: 03 April, 2003, 02:50:29 PM »
Dolphins are the only mammals apart from humans to invest in real estate.

Dounreay

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #273 on: 04 April, 2003, 01:19:26 AM »
Sorry for the delay in answering Capt. Zeep. The Colour Blind James Experience is the right answer.

Your prize is the recognition of your peers that you in fact have impecable taste in music and are obviously a top bloke.

(Not very interesting) FACT : At last, at long long last, my computer woes are solved.

(Obvious) FACT : Computer Technical Helplines have much in common with chocolate fireguards.

(Helpful) FACT : Not being able to access message boards for weeks gives you enough free time to learn to juggle live ferrits while ski-ing through a revolving door.    

karne

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #274 on: 04 April, 2003, 02:28:45 PM »
Margaret Thatcher was not in fact Britain’s first female Prime Minister, Winston Churchill was. Winston’s real name was Winifred, and she only pretended to be a man because at that time women were not allowed to smoke cigars.

longmanshort

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #275 on: 04 April, 2003, 05:38:46 PM »
"The Simpsons 'Top Trumps' game scoring is way off and makes a mockery of all that makes Top Trumps a valuable source of protein."

And, in a travesty of everything Top Trumps should be about, they claim Homer Simpson works in Sector G7 of the Springfield Nuclear plant.

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

IT'S 7G, YOU FOOLS!!!!!!!!!!!! (dreams of happy childhood not playing Top Trumps according to the rules destroyed by flagrant negligence of researchers)

(comforting) FACT:  UK Prime Minister, Rt Hon Tony  Blair, surprised everyone at a recent press conference by declaring that his youngest son, Leo, was the Son of God and earlier that morning had left a revised version of the Book of Job smeared on the inside of his non-disposable nappy. This has been hushed up by the press because, to be honest, stranger things have happened at Downing Street press conferences.
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Devons Daddy

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #276 on: 04 April, 2003, 06:09:17 PM »
Fact
the only sushi chefs which hold a blow fish prepartion licence from Japan.
(the highly toxic if not cut correctly nip delicasey.)
.which are employed in the west IE the UK.
have in fact had their licenses revoked in their homeland due to unfortunate cases of
ahhhiieeee ugggh. or death by blow fish of at least two diners in the estblishment they formerly worked.

sashmi anyone?
I AM VERY BUSY!
PJ Maybe and I use the same dictionary, live with it.

NO 2000ad no life!

Devons Daddy

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #277 on: 04 April, 2003, 07:30:48 PM »
fact
sharks dont eat tuna fish.
as the tins are always difficult to digest.
I AM VERY BUSY!
PJ Maybe and I use the same dictionary, live with it.

NO 2000ad no life!

longmanshort

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #278 on: 04 April, 2003, 08:01:18 PM »
The Innit people of North London consider 'bling' and 'ice' to be useful aids to conception, accidental or otherwise
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Wils

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #279 on: 04 April, 2003, 08:34:20 PM »
Some real facts learnt during my previous profession (not all necessarilly by experience, I hasten to add).

-Head & Shoulders is so strong, you can perm hair with it.

-Johnson's Baby Shampoo isn't any milder than normal shampoo, it just doesn't use salt as a thickening agent like others do (hence eye-stingage).

The 'blue rinse' that little old ladies have isn't meant to be used as a hair dye at all. It's a colour correction dye for removing yellow from blonde/grey/white hair. It's also not blue, but mauve.

Incontinent old ladies smell much worse after being under a hot hairdryer for 20 minutes.

Semen is apparently a wonderful moisturiser.

longmanshort

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #280 on: 04 April, 2003, 09:20:36 PM »
A fact gleaned from my current profession:

"No comment" rarely means "no comment". It usually means "Hey, you've got me bang to rights but f*** off because I have to phone my lawyer!"

Also, according to this press release I have before me, England and Leeds defender, Danny Mills, has just bought a new Mercedes in Harrogate! (shock news - expensive car dealership sells over-priced motor vehicle to man with lots of money and little sense. I can see it on the front page already!)
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WoD

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #281 on: 04 April, 2003, 11:12:31 PM »
Having just looked at the Buffy Top Trumps, I can offer the fact that the scoring in there is suspect as well;

Buffy's mum MORE INTELLIGENT than Adam?

The Master WEAKER IN NIGHT COMBAT than Giles?

WoD.

longmanshort

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #282 on: 04 April, 2003, 11:14:38 PM »
If you can't trust top trumps, who can you trust?

Me.

No, actually I'm a liar.

Or am I lying?

Yes.
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Malchidiel

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #283 on: 05 April, 2003, 03:34:31 AM »
"Semen is apparently a wonderful moisturiser."

It is indeed  

karne

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Re: Get Fact!
« Reply #284 on: 05 April, 2003, 07:15:17 PM »
Fondly remembered Blue Peter presenter John Noakes is famous for his catchphrase "Get down Shep", he recently revealed however, that he had stood in one of Shep’s turds that evening and actually said "God damn sh*t".