Y'know what really grinds my gears?

[Trout]

Shhhhh Hawk or Trout'll get ye. Z

I don't want him.

I worked with someone who did INCREDIBLE veggie-stink shits in the (unventilated) staff loo. The whole building would be affected. On one memorable occasion, the entire staff simply left, taking laptops to work outside. That fella had something wrong with his guts.

[Theblazeuk]

". You know, just typing this is getting me angry and I shudder to think what they call me.

Surly? Perhaps it would be better to think of it as a Snow White naming convention rather than childish 'banter'

[ZenArcade]

If there are underlying medical issues (the first thing to ascertain in these situations), then it is encumbent on the employer to make reasonable adjustments. Z

[TordelBack]

If there are underlying medical issues (the first thing to ascertain in these situations), then it is encumbent on the employer to make reasonable adjustments. Z

Step 1: No beans in the canteen.

[ZenArcade]

If only, It could be a bit more costly than that. In Trouts instance it could necessitate adequate ventelation/extraction processes in the toilets. Z

[Colin Zeal]

There was a guy who used to drink in my local who absolutely reeked, to the point where people would hope he wouldn't stand next to them at the bar. One Christmas time he came in after his work party and had been given about three or four deodorant sets by his colleagues and was absolutely baffled as to why they had all got him the same thing. Nobody had the heart to tell him.

[ZenArcade]

I understand the dichotomy, in terms of public environments it is particularly fraught, in the likes of a pub....just walk away. If the person is insistent in being in intruding your company, tell them. It sounds harsh but at least you have faced the issue like a human being. Z

[Theblazeuk]

On the other hand, I am almost certain I smell of sweat after cycling in to work and try to have a quick splash/re-deoderant + wipe down in the toilettes before starting work. However till they provide some place to put a soaking wet towel, there's no point using the showers....

[TordelBack]

If only, It could be a bit more costly than that. In Trouts instance it could necessitate adequate ventelation/extraction processes in the toilets. Z

One of the branches of a job I'm subbing at the moment has as its sole welfare facility a newfangled secure site cabin which boasts a kitchenette-cum-canteen-cum-office, a walled-off chemical toilet and a tools store, all in a metal container about 3m by 2m: it's very a clever piece of design, but it doesn't work.  When you're eating your sambos you can hear and smell all the doings in the loo (and even afterwards there's a pervasive smell of Ol' Blue), and if you're trying to do paperwork there's always someone frying up bacon about 2 feet from your face.  Bacon, chemical toilet and various industrial lubricants, mmmm, good job I'm on a diet.

What grinds my gears here is that when I used to contract these things myself, I would expend loads of the budget arranging proper toilets and separated office/canteen/drying room/tool stores, as per the temporary workplace/construction regulations.  Despite this being a publicly-funded job, and otherwise bursting with obvious waste, inefficiency and excess, there seems to be no requirement for the most basic welfare facilitites.   

Or rather, I suspect that the Cantoilet precisely meets the letter of the guidelines, an not a jot more - but in translating that into reality it becomes deeply unpleasant.

[ZenArcade]

A heated towel rack wouldn't be an unreasonable request; however they could just tell you to pop it in a plastic bag and take it home in the evening after work. It would be down to the particular employer. Z

[Hawkmumbler]

Shhhhh Hawk or Trout'll get ye. Z

I don't want him.

Don't play hard to get, Trouty. I know you want it, your a particularly damp fish you dirt sod!

[Link Prime]

You know, just typing this is getting me angry and I shudder to think what they call me.

Lets hope you're not affected by male pattern baldness and have a penchant for playing pool, 8-Ball.

[TordelBack]

I know I've told this one before, but 20 years back I worked on a community employment scheme site where everybody had a nickname - there was The Stench (a former turnip-picker, I believe),  Bo (real name Derek, obviously), Snaggles (a particulalry homely fellow with grim teeth), Ten Blocks Billy (the maximum number of bricks he was reputed to lay a day), and I was Norm (as in the the actor Kevin Eldon ad) and so on... all very good-natured stuff.  One day at tea break the Italian-born English labourer piped up: "'Ow come you all have nicknames and I don't?".  "You do", chirped one of the lads, "You're That English Bastard".

[JamesC]

In my job I've had to ask smelly people to leave the building on numerous occasions. It's not a nice experience but I always try to do it as discreetly as possible and say something like 'you're welcome to be here but you need to have a shower and out some clean clothes on and then you can come back'.
I know some people have medical problems but it's easy enough to tell whether someone has washed their hair recently and if their clothes are clean.

[Dunk!]

I've got so many stories of smelly programmers over the years but they all just help uphold the stereotype.

Fresh out of Uni also invariably means non-fresh and unused to having to keep the level of personal hygiene need for social interaction. Luckily these guys aren't "Uber super genius level delicate snowflakes vital to your current dev" so you can poke them with sharp sticks until they cry.