LESSER HEARD OR FAMILY SAYINGS...

[Dode C]

Some of my faves:
For someone with skinny legs "The last time I saw legs like that there wis a message tied tae them''
For the pub/party with no atmosphere '' I've seen more life in a tramp's vest. '' or ''I've seen more life in a nit comb.''
For pungent odours (B.O. sweaty armpits etc.) ''That would bring tears tae a glass eye.''

[Woolly]

Not so much a family saying, but it was printed on an old mug that my Dad gave me:

"A Yorkshireman's advice to his son-
See all, hear all, say nowt.
Eat all, drink all, pay nowt.
An' if ever tha' does owt for nowt, always do it for thi'sen."

[Mikey]

Speaking of Yorkshiremen ;-) two for tightwads:

'They wouldn't give you the skin of their shite'

'They wouldn't spend daylight'

M

[Hawkmumbler]

For someone with skinny legs "The last time I saw legs like that there wis a message tied tae them''

Consider this one stolen.

[The Doctor Alt 8]

If you are scratching round your... Butt hole you would be accused of "Shaking hands with a worm?"

"Good morning / afternoon / evening brown." A polite way of addressing a turd you encounter in the street.

[Sideshow Bob]

Another favourite of my Dads'........from many years ago...
When talking about someone whose Teeth were what used to be called  ' Typically British' ...meaning grey and crooked......or more 'Typically Scottish'.....grey, crooked and lots of them missing....

" He's got a mouthful of teeth like whin roots".........meaning the roots of a 'whin' bush......sticking out all over the place and typically gnarly and grey......Not exactly a compliment....even in those days.....

[Rog69]

During my single days I had the worst luck when it came to the opposite sex, a good friend of mine often says that If I fell in a barrel of tits, I would come out sucking my thumb.

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

My uncle  has come out with some gems.

'Are you a professional idiot, or just a gifted amateur?'

He also has some brilliant conspiracy theories, which he finishes with an emphatic 'That's a FACT!

My favourite was his one about the Queen Mother's death. She had been dead for weeks but they only announced it when they wanted to bury a negative new story. That's a FACT!