Threadjacking!

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

I wouldn't feel too guilty Shark. Goats are dicks

[The Legendary Shark]

Either dicks or baaastards...

[Hawkmumbler]

Caprinitwits, if you will.

[The Legendary Shark]

Heh. This is all getting too capricorny...

[The Doctor Alt 8]

I am V angry. Some person has stolen the water pump and solar power panel from my water feature. I haven't finished paying for it yet. I installed it for the local wildlife and some scrot has wrecked it.

[Proudhuff]

Its amazing whay feckwits will steal from gardens!!

[The Doctor Alt 8]

the Mistry deepens. I went to top up the bowl. Only to find out that it has now been badly cracked and cannot hold water. I also found the pipe from the pump in the grass. It has been shortened at both ends and "chewed". So it isn't theft but vandalism.

[JayzusB.Christ]

When I was a sharklet, maybe eight or nine years old, I discovered a goat trapped in the ditch at the bottom of our back garden. I couldn't get it out, and it was a scary old, grumpy old thing with pointy horns and so, as I couldn't rescue it I decided to befriend it by feeding it leaves from the back of a neighbour's garden. It snaffled them up greedily for about an hour until I got bored and left it to find something more interesting to do, probably involving some much abused Action Men (Action Mans?) and an air rifle.

The next day, I overheard my Dad talking to the farmer, scruffy old Black Jack as he was known locally (due to his aversion to washing). "Just gettin' me goat," Black Jack said sadly. "Damn thing poisoned itself to t' death eatin' Joyce's evergreens."

Needless to say, I kept schtum and feel guilty about it to this day. Kindness, it seems, really can kill.

Reminds me of a kid in my school who was practising his golf swing in his back garden (golf is incredibly popular in my home town with all walks of life, simply because there's a nationally famous golf course there that doesn't have too snobbish an admittance policy).  He accidentally sent the ball into a field and killed a cow stone dead, but unlike yourself was not able to keep it under wraps and people still talk about it nearly thirty years on.  Like I'm doing now, small-town yokel that I am.

[The Legendary Shark]

Sounds to me like a classic beef sand wedge...

Also, that's a long time to be milking this story...

Etc.


I'll get me kagool...

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

I've herd worse...

[JayzusB.Christ]

Jaysus wept, remind me not to tell another cow story here. I'll make a note in my dairy.

[The Legendary Shark]

It doesn't matter, we'll still hear it on the bovine...

(TLS - A bad joke heifery time!)

[paddykafka]

Jaysus wept, remind me not to tell another cow story here. I'll make a note in my dairy.

Sorry, but I'm just not in the mooooo-ed for these dreadful cow puns.

[The Legendary Shark]

Ayrshire?

Maine-Anjou, it is wearing rather thin now.

[Funt Solo]

I'm not very good at these word games, but if I ruminate for a while I may be able to shoe-horn something in.