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Thanks BCB, congrats TLS, well done everyone!

[Echidna]

Ahem...

1 - Eamonn Echidna - Ulyssess Sweet M.A.C.H

Or did you mean Eamonn's Getting to Know You?

Really tough to choose this time, but here goes...

1st: ZippoCreed - Dreamtime
2nd: The Legendary Shark - Old Dreads, New Hopes
3rd: eamonn1961 - Getting to Know You

Great work, everyone!

Forty-five - Fargo's alive!

I can't not read that in the voice of Brian Blessed.

Number ten: Tibetan Zen!

Molch-R on Robots from Tomorrow:

"Has anybody thought about what you're gonna do when Prog 1999 flips over to...?"
"We have."
"...since it's gonna be an occasion of some import."
"We have thought about it, we've talked about it, we've made a decision, and you'll find out in a couple of years."

1st: Bagley - Framkerstein. Lovely pose and composition, I hope to see more from you.
2nd: Fiona Boniwell - Slaine MacRotten. Ditto - more please!
3rd: Nic Freeman - Ro-Jaws. Like everyone else said, a great idea perfectly executed.

HMs:
Dark Jimbo - The Curse of Abelard Snazz
MrLongTheArtist (3) - Sparks May Fly
podgeman - Twas PSI Division That Killed the Beast   
SuperSurfer - The Mummy
and Andy Lambert (all three really, but if I have to choose, Nosthargratu)

[Ulysses Sweet: Maniac Activated by Computronic Hyperpower]

Ulysses Sweet: Maniac Activated by Computronic Hyperpower

The computer in MACH-U's head fed data into his brain...

++Agent: Ulysses Sweet
++Codename: MACH-U
++Mission: Infiltrate offshore enemy installation and plant explosives

Hey, the computer lady in my head is talking again! Hello, computer lady!

++Pleasantries irrelevant
++Prepare for aquatic infiltration

Ready when you are!

++Incorrect
++Your attire is inappropriate for this mission
++Your backpack contains a stealth wetsuit and scuba gear

OK, I'll wear the scuba mask and the big flippers but the mankini stays.

++At least remove the rubber duck strapped to your head

Bonkers T. McQuack? But he's my disguise!

++If you refuse to comply you will be subjected to Electro-shock

Bring it on, baby!

++Administering Electro-shock Level 1

Mmm, tingly. Give me another.

++Ineffective
++Progressing to Level 2

Hee hee, that tickles!

++Progressing to Level 3
++Warning: Voltage sufficient to reduce normal human to gibbering simpleton
++Predicted effect on Ulysses Sweet: Negligible
++Overriding safety protocols
++Administering

Gnnnnng... Hey, look at me go! I didn't know I could Riverdance!

++Progressing to Level 4
++Danger! Potentially fatal dose

That won't be necessary, computer lady. That last one burnt my ducky to a cinder. Along with most of my hair.

++Proceed with Phase 1

Geronimo!

++MACH-U entering water
++Enemy compound located 8km offshore
++Increasing hyperpower to 25%
++Estimated swim time: 6 minutes

Wheeee! I wish Mr McQuack could have been here, he would have loved this.

++Danger! Large aquatic mammal ahead
++Collision imminent
++Take evasive action

Where's the fun in that? Full power to the engines, computer lady!

++Hyperpower required to punch through whale's ribcage: 40%
++Impact in 3 - 2 - 1
++Passing through whale's internal organs
++Exiting whale

I just exploded the largest animal on earth! Now I just need a bottle-nosed dolphin to complete my I-Spy Book of the Ocean's Greatest Wonders. Speaking of which, is that dolphin over there looking at me funny?

++That is a porpoise

Close enough. I'm gonna rip his head off, the smug bastard.

++Present course of action contravenes mission protocol

Take this, you aquatic git!

++Cease pummelling

Alright, I'm almost done. I just need to sever... the spine... there!

++Approaching enemy base
++Exiting water
++Phase 1 complete
++Will you reconsider wearing camouflage suit for the remainder of your mission

I think we both know the answer to that question. Anyway, I have a new disguise now. With this new headgear, who would ever suspect I'm a ruthless assassin?

++Wearing the severed head of a porpoise as a hat is unlikely to persuade enemy guards you are here to provide humanitarian aid

Up yours, computer lady!

++If you continue to defy orders you will be subjected to lethal shock

Shut up or the brain gets it!

++You are pointing a gun at your own head
++Conclusion: You are mentally unfit for service
++Administering Level 5 Electro-shock in 3... 2...

I've had it with you, computer lady! You've got me angry in my skull!

BLAM

Twemendous! (That's both a review and a correction)

This is odd. I got Insurrection for Chrimbo (loved it) and noticed this Photoshop (or similar) artefact on the cover.



Looks like the head was cut out and misaligned when pasted back over the title. This is the second printing; did the first look the same? Does everyone's copy look like this? The picture on the online store looks fine.

Whilst I am at it - you said you have confirmation that the centre spread in the Cursed Earth will be in black and white - that is disappointing as I would buy it if it was in colour. I ask because some one else posted photo of a questionnaire asking what stories they would buy and it said "Cursed Earth in B&W and colour.

I think you mean this... I'd be disappointed too; without colour spreads The Cursed Earth and Apocalypse War wouldn't have much to recommend them over the Case Files editions. Then again, the spreads in the Case Files lose a lot of information in the gutter, so I'll be interested to see if the Mega Collection is better in that respect.

It was on in the middle of The Big Bang Theory on E4 on Tuesday night. It's not often I fast-forward through a show and just watch the ads, but I had a hunch...

My nearest WH Smiths had only two copies left by the time I got there. I was delighted to discover my local Co-op has it too - if it hasn't sold out by the weekend I'll grab a copy for a friend, mainly because I want them to keep stocking it!

It wouldn't be a proper limerick contest without a few references to bodily functions, would it? Well done Mr. Taylor!

It's been a good year for covers, so choosing second and third was really tough. First place, though? Easy.

1st: 1900, Greg Staples
2nd: 1901, Nick Percival
3rd: 1909, Cliff Robinson

Honourable mentions:
1867, Mark Harrison
1889, Chris Weston
1908, Greg Staples
1910, Glenn Fabry
And everything by Simon Davis, Alex Ronald and Dave Kendall.

1st: Mark Taylor, "Thar once wuz a buttist named Mean". Knocked it out of the park with the first entry.
2nd: Goosegash. There is no higher form of comedy than the implied knob gag.
3rd: JohnMcF. Genuinely gross. Bravo.

HMs: Beeks, Skullmo and BCB.

So, I voted for violence, dicks and jizz. Oh, and my own entry was about wanking. I'm one classy son of a bitch.

Thanks BCB, this was a lot of fun. Hope you do another one - shaking up the format like this from time to time seems like a good idea.