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Messages - JayzusB.Christ

#8791
Sweet. Though I haven't a clue what threads they're all talking about.  I really want to see them now.
#8792
Off Topic / Re: Playground poetry thread
09 January, 2010, 12:45:37 PM
Jesus Christ superstar*
You and me in a motor car.

The cops are there
We don't care
We've got bulletproof underwear.

When I'm dead
Bury me
Hang my balls on a cherry tree.

When they're ripe
Take a bite
But don't blame me if you shite all night.**

*Again
**Even though it's clearly my fault for telling you to do it


#8793
Off Topic / Re: Playground poetry thread
08 January, 2010, 08:00:18 PM
(A prelude to giving the V-sign - follow the actions with your index finger then add the middle finger on the third line)

You bend it
You mend it
You double it
And send it
#8794
General / Re: Mark Millar on his 2K work - "pure shite"
08 January, 2010, 07:11:41 PM
Quote(did anyone notice that Tony Blair died TWICE in that series? Very lazy)

actually I might be wrong there - think he died and then somehow came back to life in a later series.  And why did every single person involved in releasing the Maniacs (except Ross Perot) commit suicide?  i mean they didn't kill as many as the A-bomb or the Iraq invasion and no officials commited suicide then.*  Either way up, fuck off, Mark Millar.  Red Son was good though, you can stop fucking off to write things like that, but just don't do any interviews.

Has there ever been a thread so blatantly split into two different subjects?




*Hang on, there was one, wasn't there?
#8795
Creative Common / Re: HOT DANG DOODLE!
08 January, 2010, 05:52:20 PM
Now what's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Willis.
#8796
Off Topic / Re: Playground poetry thread
08 January, 2010, 05:45:09 PM
QuoteSome say the divil is dead
and buried in Kilarney

Or as my (English) mother sang for years, 'Some say the divil is dead and living in Killarney'.  She was quite taken aback when i pointed out the paradox

Anyway, did anybody see the full-page ad for the 'My friend Billy Had a Ten-Foot Willy Charm Bracelet of Hope' in Viz a few years ago? Absolutely fantastic, allegedly created to 'commemorate the epic fable of pride coming before a fall'.
#8797
General / Re: Mark Millar on his 2K work - "pure shite"
08 January, 2010, 02:42:54 PM
Quote
I do like Big Dave on occasion too, and the idea of the Summer Offensive itself was neat - disposable comics, ultra violence, light druggy poppy stories.  If it hadn't been for Inferno, I might even have chalked it up as a good idea. 

I agree - I enjoyed that period of 2000ad, though disposable was the word - it's not something I would have enjoyed for too long.  2000ad wasn't exactly in its heyday anyway around then, and for me the Summer Offensive was a welcome break. 
I liked Big Dave a lot, and enjoyed Really and Truly - a comic strip for pillheads I suppose.  Not that I was one at that time.  Slaughterbowl was great too.
Wasn't a fan of Maniac 5 (did anyone notice that Tony Blair died TWICE in that series? Very lazy).  Inferno started off really well - kicked the shit out of Ennis or Millar's Dredd - but lost it at the end.

One thing about The Summer Offensive was that it got one or two of my non-2000ad-reading friends interested.  Big Dave appealed to the teenage Viz reader in them and then they started getting hooked on the action in the other strips.

So all in all, though Millar is a cock, I'll defend the Summer Offensive. 
#8798
Creative Common / Re: HOT DANG DOODLE!
08 January, 2010, 02:07:52 PM
Cheers! I suppose i was asked to draw it in the style of a 1940's comic, which were fairly badly drawn anyway - that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
#8799
Off Topic / Re: Playground poetry thread
08 January, 2010, 01:58:19 PM
QuoteHmm, just pretend I wrote something witty eh?

Oh, you did, sir, by god you did
#8800
Books & Comics / Re: Whats everyone reading?
08 January, 2010, 01:23:05 AM
QuoteBeckett's Trilogy which is the fucking bomb

That should be the blurb on the cover.  Always meant to get round to reading Beckett but haven't managed it yet, unless you count watching Krapp's Last Tape on Youtube. Which you couldn't really count.

Two people have told me that Beckett looks like an older version of me.  Although he's becoming a less older version all the time.


#8801
Creative Common / Re: HOT DANG DOODLE!
07 January, 2010, 10:42:02 PM
Cheers, boss!
#8802
Off Topic / Re: Playground poetry thread
07 January, 2010, 10:32:35 PM
A nostalgic tale with a tinge of bitterness, pain and paternal apathy:

When I was young and had no sense
I ripped my balls on a barbed-wire fence.

Off to the doctor I did go;
Balls and all I had to show.

When I got home my father laughed
To see my tool without its shaft.
#8803
Off Topic / Playground poetry thread
07 January, 2010, 08:57:30 PM
Here are some extracts from the classic poetry tome, The Cry of Celtic Youth  (Anglo-Irish Poetry and Song Composed within the Playground of Saint Colmcille's Primary, Kells, 1982 - 1988).

Ahem.  

#33:  Ode to a child born out of wedlock. (To the tune of 'O my Darling Clementine')


Who's your father,
Who's your father,
Who's your fa-ther
Jayzus B?
Have you got one,
Never had one,
You're a bastard,
Jayzus B.

Notes:  The name inserted is the editor's own but can be replaced with any name that scans correctly.

#132 Ode to an adolescent maiden (To the tune of 'Oi have you sussed, new Windolene Plus')


Oi, have you sussed
You ain't got no bust
You're so flat the walls are jealous
With tits like that you'll get no fellas
When you Windolene Plus your windows.

Notes:  Many critics have described the last line as 'uncreative' and 'unsatisfactory' though the demoralising effect on its (interchangeable) satirical target has remained undiminished.

Thank you.

#8804
Creative Common / Re: HOT DANG DOODLE!
07 January, 2010, 08:26:18 PM
wahey! i've just found a picture I did about 6 years ago that I thought had long since disappeared in cyberspace.  It's on the Al Ewing interview on the 2000ad review site, not hard to find really.

On the downside, there are very shite bits in it: Hitler's flimsy paper jacket and generally rubbish proportions, and the angle of the knife - fucking hell.  Still, you  live and learn. Glad I found it again anyway.







#8805
General / Re: Mark Millar on his 2K work - "pure shite"
07 January, 2010, 01:59:44 PM
My understanding was that it all came back to the 2000ad podcast.

I like Richard Dawkins; it's fair enough to say we don't know whether there's a god or not, but at least he (Richard, that is, not God) doesn't plug the gaps in his knowledge with unprovable and very unlikely hypotheses. If you want to read some truly arrogant atheistic literature, have a look at Christopher Hitchens' stuff.

That said, I have no problem if anyone else follows a religion, as long as they keep it out of politics and don't try to force it on anyone else.

Oh yeah, and I tried some of Grant Morrison's pop magic a few years ago during a fairly unhappy period of my life. Did it work? Me bollix, it did.  What worked was getting a job, meeting people and having a social life again.