The Black Dog Thread

[Proudhuff]

Hope it works out for you Sharkie, even just naming a thing can help at times.
Jade hope your work eases and you get some rest.

[Jade Falcon]

Work is okay....not great.  I'm not against the full time hours, indeed, trying to find a full time job is a job in itself, many are higher rate of pay but part time, and even then many firms want silly qualifications and/or experience.  What I don't appreciate is sometimes the way people go on.  I had one, without going into details told me my attitude was disgusting and was continually shouting and swearing down the phone at me.  I couldn't do what they wanted due to bank processes and was getting dogs abuse for it.  I finally told them that if they continued swearing I would terminate the call which I did but I felt myself in a mini panic attack afterwards.  Also, later that night when I went home, I usually talk with my Ukrainian friend but I messaged her saying I wouldn't be online, I was all shivers from the cold and basically felt vile.

It might have been a 24 hour bug, but I went under the covers at the back of 9 and didn't get up till early afternoon.

[Barrington Boots]

I've done some time in a job like yours and you 100% did the right thing with that caller Jade. It's not unusual to feel stressed after being forced into a confrontation with someone unpleasant and to want to withdraw from the world, too.
The person you spoke to likely wasn't angry at you, but was taking out their frustration on you - likely a build up of anger and frustration over dozens of other stresses on their life. They may even have regretted being awful to you.

I'm sorry you had a rotten evening after. If you're feeling strung out and upset again, you can come here and unload a bit.

[JayzusB.Christ]

Yep, been there myself with sweary and irate callers.  In the call centre where I worked, an unwritten part of the job description was human shield for the company executives.

And yeah, you did exactly the right thing, even if you didn't like doing it. I remember saying the same thing, almost word for word, to one or two of my customers. You shouldn't have to be verbally abused for company decisions you didn't make yourself.

[Jade Falcon]

Well I got 'feedback' yesterday on a call that I had done and was told that there would be a more or less black mark on my record.  I had got a caller who was irate and was personally insulting and whne I mildly responded I was told that the person had said I made him feel like a criminal.

At this point I had been put on the floor with very little confidence (a fact I had stated), I was still having sleeping difficulties, in fact I still do.  I've found out the entirety of new week is a 7am start. for a job that is just over 10 miles away.  Which doesn't sound far, but thats as the crow flies, because my car needs defrosting in the morning (including in the inside because of a busted heater motor), not to mention I have an MOT failure and it seems that trying to find a time slot to get that fixed as well as the heater is going to be near night impossible.

I've been informed of my housing benefit was stopped because I apparently didn't inform anyone of my status which is a downright lie and my JSA is (obviously) stopped.  I have been given a rent bill which I paid half of, notice that my small flat is going to be about £400 a month, god knows what my council tax is going to be and I'm really starting to wonder if its worthwhile.  Yesterday I came home, I had forgotten my morning pills which are about 10 pills, and I felt absolutely lousy.  I collapsed into bed at about 9pm and didn't wake up till about 6 this morning.

[Jade Falcon]

Sorry if I sound like I'm complaining.  Saturdays regular shift was bad because the boiler packed up.  Two days later and it still felt like a Soviet icebreaker.

So yesterday I'm feeling really rough, shivering constantly, coughing, the sniffles, sore throat and I go to Tescos and pick up some Lemon drinks, soothers and other things.  I'm limited in what I can take due to my other medication.  Later in the night I feel absolutely hellish.  My head feels literally like its exploding, I'm painful all over, freezing even with the heating on.  I decide to go to bed early in the back of 8 thinking in might also help for the early start.

This morning I wake up feeling even worse (i've only just fully got out of bed because I'm feeling really stiff and painful in bed).  I had a phonecall at the back of 7 asking why I wasn't in.  I must have sounded like a sandpaper board, but I have the most awful feeling that 1, this is going to be a black mark, and that 2 I will have to work a sick day off again.

[paddykafka]

As you are clearly unwell, Jade, are you surely not entitled to take sick leave, and then furnish your employer with a doctor's note upon your return to work? I'm sure that neither your colleagues, nor immediate on-site management, would appreciate you turning up with what could potentially be a communicable illness.

[Jade Falcon]

Today my car wouldn't start and with a 7am start I had to spend 40 quid on a taxi to avoid a rocket from the boss. Oh and I'm apparently not doing calls properly, it just seems a no damned win situation.

[Hawkmumbler]

As you are clearly unwell, Jade, are you surely not entitled to take sick leave, and then furnish your employer with a doctor's note upon your return to work? I'm sure that neither your colleagues, nor immediate on-site management, would appreciate you turning up with what could potentially be a communicable illness.

This. Irrefutably this.

[Jade Falcon]

I'm not panicing.  I have taken 4 days off.  I have a car that won't start.  I will have to beg a jump start and hope that works.  I now have had a horrible thought.  I have been having problems with the car for about a year with water ingress in various places.  I am already not the best of health, and I am wondering if the colder climate has made dampness worse, and combined it with ice, not to mention the starting problems, if it has agitated my health.  I know a lot of people are suffering from cold and flu related ailments at the moment even before COVID, but it can't be normal to be drivign with a heavy winter jacket, three layers of clothing, a scarf and gloves and still feel cold surely??

I fear I'm going to lose this job, or at the very least have some sort of black mark.  I don't particularly like it, but its a damn job and this isn't a great start for me.

[Rara Avis]

There is  a terrible cold / flu going about at the moment. I have had it for two weeks now and had to get an antibiotic from the doctor - this thing has legs ... but I do feel much better and I have a week off at Xmas so at least I have that to look forward to.

Jade that doesn't sound normal about your car at all and it sounds like it's time to trade it in and get a new one.

Re: your job. It sounds like you're very anxious about your performance. Try and figure out what's making you anxious and how you can alleviate it. We know you're in a high stress job (the staff turnover rate you mentioned is a huge red flag) so you will need to come up with some coping strategies.

Why do you think you're going to lose your job and what actions can you take to prevent it?

You know you can always quit?

[Jade Falcon]

There is  a terrible cold / flu going about at the moment. I have had it for two weeks now and had to get an antibiotic from the doctor - this thing has legs ... but I do feel much better and I have a week off at Xmas so at least I have that to look forward to.

Jade that doesn't sound normal about your car at all and it sounds like it's time to trade it in and get a new one.

Re: your job. It sounds like you're very anxious about your performance. Try and figure out what's making you anxious and how you can alleviate it. We know you're in a high stress job (the staff turnover rate you mentioned is a huge red flag) so you will need to come up with some coping strategies.

Why do you think you're going to lose your job and what actions can you take to prevent it?

You know you can always quit?

It seems that calls are always monitored and you're not meant to be on calls long, but there are times its near unavoidable.  It's easy for the manager to say what should be done as she's been there a number of years, I've been there only a couple of months.  I've been told I'm still on a probationary period.  It always feels that every time I feel like I've taken a step forward, suddenly something appears that there is two steps back.

Jobs of any type aren't overly common, full time jobs even less so.  I don't want to quit as it wouldn't be a good look after so many years of unemployment.  Some there say its a good job, but while I'm not the power hungry ambitious type, its a job that I can't really see having much variety day in, day out, and promotion or even 'mobility' aspects look very limited.

[Rara Avis]

Sure but if you can stick it out you can think about getting a new car in the new year. Maybe a trip to see your Ukrainian friend when things stabilise? Or even some savings in the bank ?

I have worked in customer service roles and it's really hard to be nice to people when they are being abusive to you. You know of course it's not you personally but often as the person on the front lines you're getting it in the face.

I found that if I didn't get adversarial with people on the phone and instead said 'OMG I'm so sorry to hear that, I'm going to do everything I can to help you today' even if I didn't mean it but sounded like I did or even a 'Yes I would be annoyed about that too, let's see if we can fix that real quick' that it made that kind of work less stressful for me. You're still going to have the odd CU Next Tuesday but the odd one is more manageable than every other one.

Is this helpful?

[Jade Falcon]

I can't wait for the new year.  There's a Saab locally, low mileage, looks in decent condition.  Petrol, and MPG won't be as good as my VW Golf, but if its a lot more watertight which is something that seems to be a never ending problem, and the ever increasing price of diesel, the economy might be offset.

I have planned to visit her, assuming everything stabilises sometime.  I do get some people say that they are just venting and they know its not me personally.  I think my general health is making me feel a lot worse.  Its hard to concentrate hard on calls when you have a pounding headache, a really sore throat and generally feel like crap.  I don't think its so much a bad workplace, not great, but I'm still learning and want to make a good impression.  I did have what was called a vulnerable customer and it took longer than it really should but was told I handled it well and it was where there were exceptions obviously.

[The Mind of Wolfie Smith]

hi guys. i'm still here. i hardly know how or why. i'm falling and failing all the time.

my dad died at the end of october. i am in a terrible situation. i was never close to my dad until the last 2 years.
2 years ago a really bad stroke - in my 40s - left me unable to walk properly, or even sometimes think properly. but it's not woeisme because I survived, just.
and then my dad became a giant. he became my hero, my carer and my best friend. he came to see me for 2 or 3 hours every afternoon. he told me about his life and he asked about mine. we wrote a mad book about consciousness together.

and then he died. he was a healthy man, but he was weakened by covid and life.

the tiny rest of my selfish and dysfunctional family ignored me from that day to this. no-one has even asked me how i am. they tried to exclude me from the funeral. i am utterly alone. i am bereft. i am unable.

i exist for kindness and empathy. but i am in a world that has precious little of either and does not care.
i do not know how to go on - physically, mentally or spiritually.
and yet you go on. to paraphrase beckett.

i don't think i have written a more self-centred set of nonsense in my life.
and yet i have. to paraphrase beckett.

hello.