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The Black Dog Thread

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The Legendary Shark:

I've been where you are, Jade, truly. For almost a decade.

In the end I decided that waiting for the authorities to help was the biggest waste of my time imaginable and took control of myself. It's a very daunting thing to do and a very hard thing to do but I did it and haven't looked back. I know this doesn't help you much but it does demonstrate that there is a productive way out and I'm sure you'll find yours. The first step, in my experience, is to discard all thoughts of what other people might think your life is worth and to value it for yourself, on your own terms. Never forget that you are a being of infinite worth and potential and that the meaning of your life needn't be objective. One has to find one's own meaning and not give a f*ck about how other people measure such things (unless they chime with one's own views and needs, in which case simply fold them in to one's personal philosophy).

And congratulations on going to your model club, that's a Big Win for you at this stage.

Rara Avis:
The fact that you are cleaning at all and are now back in a workplace setting is huge progress on where you were a few months back so although things seem overwhelming you actually are making progress.

It may seem like you're getting nowhere (with the cleaning) but even twenty to thirty minutes a day will lead to a huge improvement over time - keep it up!

Re: the work issue: try not to get hyper focused on this, ultimately it's just stressing you out and you have enough on your plate.

It's worrying to hear you say you see no way forward. I think maybe in the past you had an idea about what a successful future meant to you and now you're here in the future and things haven't worked out as planned. Instead of accepting this as some sort of failure on your part maybe try re-imagining your idea of success. As Picard said you can do everything right and still fail - this is not weakness; this is life. What kind of life can you imagine for yourself where you are alone but content?

Jade Falcon:

--- Quote from: Rara Avis on 23 June, 2022, 06:44:44 AM ---Re: the work issue: try not to get hyper focused on this, ultimately it's just stressing you out and you have enough on your plate.

It's worrying to hear you say you see no way forward. I think maybe in the past you had an idea about what a successful future meant to you and now you're here in the future and things haven't worked out as planned. Instead of accepting this as some sort of failure on your part maybe try re-imagining your idea of success. As Picard said you can do everything right and still fail - this is not weakness; this is life. What kind of life can you imagine for yourself where you are alone but content?

--- End quote ---

The thing that gets me about the work side is that the one who has set herself up as the one in charge doesn't really know her stuff.  She lets excess stock build up in the back till its piled up disorganised and is nearly dangerous.  It makes no sense if the bookshelf is half empty and there is stuff there to put out and she doesn't want anyone else to do it.

As to personal life, that's the thing that's getting me.  I just can't look forward to a life on my own, I don't find myself having as much pleasure in the things I used to do at home alone like reading or using the computer.

Rara Avis:
I know, it's really frustrating working with someone who's process makes no sense but it's not worth getting worked up over. If you can't make improvements there find something else to put your energy into. That whole thing about you can't control people but you can can control how you react to them. Maybe make it a long term goal ?

But you have to.

I'm not saying that you'll never meet someone and get your happily ever after, I genuinely wish that you, but it may not be on the cards for a while. In the meantime you can work on building a life for yourself that you are happy with and when you finally meet someone you'll have a lot to offer them.

What are women looking for? At the most basic level, women are looking for men that can take care of themselves so a man that can cook, cleans his house and takes care of himself (showers daily and wears clean well fitted clothes).

If you only focused on these three things you may start to feel better about yourself and your life and you can figure out the next bit when you're ready.

Not enjoying things you used to is a symptom of depression so don't worry you will enjoy your old hobbies again.

Jade Falcon:
The continuing tribulations noisy neighbours. 

This was the second complaint I put in.  Apparently he didn't realise that he was making noise, but stomping across the floor like a yeti on steroids is ridiculous. EVERY goddamn door including internal doors and windows gets slammed shut.  He has a kid that runs around for hours on end and there are times the hoover is on about 3 or 4 times a week, the washing machine on late at night.

I am starting to think this is being done quite deliberately.

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