The Black Dog Thread

[paddykafka]

Here's hoping that this gets resolved fairly quickly and in your favour.  All the best sir.

Thanks, TJM86 for your kind words and support, and likewise to Jayzus and Sharkie. It means a lot and is always appreciated. Cheers!

[paddykafka]

PS & Apols for double post.

@Sharkie  I don't know how to drive so a caravan isn't an option for me. Also, finding one large enough for my needs would, I imagine, be problematic.

BUT if I was to live in a caravan, it amuses me to think that it would be the one featured in the link below. (It's from a much beloved Irish TV children's programme that was very popular back when I were a nipper. Get a load of those state-of-the-art special effects, lol.  )

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9oSFevDK_0

[JayzusB.Christ]

That very wagon was designed by my old Production Design tutor from art college.  He showed us the original designs and took us to meet Eugene Lambert from the show, who gave us a puppetry demonstration using Judge the Dog.

He also worked on Mary Shelley's Frankensteim, which is a weird bit of O'Brien & Godmother / Robert de Niro crossover trivia.

Anyway once again I really hope you get it sorted soon.  Would a boat be an option?  That's what I did (until the fecker exploded, but that is rare and it's a nice if busy lifestyle)..

[paddykafka]

Would a boat be an option?  That's what I did (until the fecker exploded, but that is rare and it's a nice if busy lifestyle)..

Well, just out of curiosity, I googled Done Deal for the price of barges. The cheapest one I could find was €30,000 which is so far out of my price range, that I may as well be googling for a space flight on one of Musk's or Branson's contraptions. Further googling revealed that, among the minor little challenges I would have to contend with - apart from explosions! - are the facts that" Boats leak, batteries run flat and the water attracts mice and rats." So yeah, that's a hard pass for me, I'm afraid to say. 

Anyway's, as with a caravan, there would be the issue of adequate space and security, allied with my advancing age, increasing decrepitude and utter lack of experience in all aquatic matters. And with my luck being what it is, I'm as likely as not to fall of the vessel and drown. 

[JayzusB.Christ]

Fair enough- to be honest it's not the easiest life and you do need to be somewhat able-bodied to carry out necessary duties.

My little boat cost me 16 grand (my dad took out a loan and I paid him back monthly) but with all the maintenance and improvements I probably paid another 10 on top of that. 

[paddykafka]

Fair enough- to be honest it's not the easiest life and you do need to be somewhat able-bodied to carry out necessary duties.

A quick google of the online Thesaurus revealed 171 different words to describe the opposite of being "able-bodied". Needless to say, the overwhelming majority of them could reasonably apply to myself. 

[The Legendary Shark]

Would there be any chance of sharing a place with similarly challenged people to cut down on costs? How about a commune or something like that? Many campsites over here have big static caravans for purchase or long-term rent but they tend to be snapped up pretty quickly. You can't be the only person in such a position, maybe seek out others and figure out solutions between you? 

[paddykafka]

I've had waaaay too many bad experiences over the years house-sharing with people, to even consider that as an option. The few months I spent with my last ever girlfriend, 16 years ago, being a case in point. (She turned out to be a psychotic, bullying control freak, and when we split up I ended up being homeless for seven weeks. I swore then, that I would never put myself at such risk ever again and I have kept that vow ever since.)

Fact of the matter is - at least in my case - when you have a chronic anxiety disorder as I do, then you may as well have a target painted on your back for the attention of all the nasty, bullying and aggressive fuck-wits that seem to comprise a significantly large percentage of the population. As a consequence, I tend to avoid people now - for as I have learned, in many areas of life over the years, most of them are not to be trusted - and keep my interactions with them to a minimum.

Anyhow, as a middle-aged 'ould git with social anxiety - I can't even hold a conversation without the crutch of alcohol - I'm not exactly inundated with offers, be they romantic, platonic or otherwise. I've gotten so used to living alone and spending virtually most of the time in isolation, that I simply do not have the energy or social skills necessary to be around other people for very long. To be sure, it's a lonely-as-fuck way to exist. But I'm realistic enough to know that is how things are going to be. And at least when I'm alone I'm safe.

I just had a phone call from the landlord today. He was asking what the story was and if I was moving out. Obviously I did not have any good news for him. So he's calling over to me later in the week to 'have a talk'. That should be interesting. I am so fucking pissed off and fed up with this constant daily stress and anxiety! I'm at the stage now where, if I was to feel the symptoms of a fatal stroke or heart attack coming on, I'm honestly not sure if I would even bother seeking medical attention. 

[Tjm86]

Admittedly this doesn't really apply to folks here and potentially more a 'in the news' post.  That said, amidst all the furore over the Huw Edwards revelations, one thing seems to be being seriously glossed over.

His wife comments that he has now been admitted to Inpatient Mental Health Hospital care for the foreseeable future.  Given the challenges accessing mental health Outpatient care, this requires a serious level of risk to either him or those around him (more likely him).

In short, the Sun and the rest of the media appear to have (and I admit to speculating here) driven him to a suicidal nervous breakdown.  Why this is not being acknowledged by the press is baffling.

It really does reiterate the point that there is absolutely zero consideration for the impact of the sort of reporting that goes on these days, never mind the toxicity of social media (Twitter seems to have become some sort of radioactive sludge-pit of bile and abuse these days). 

I'm not for a moment defending any alleged actions and behaviours the man may or may not have engaged in.  Just commenting on what this suggests to me.

What I would say though is that I do hope that everyone is keeping well, managing in the face of whatever challenges they are facing (or even better, starting to overcome them) and knows where to come in times of need.  It sure as hell feels like we need it right now!

[JayzusB.Christ]

I'm finally making an effort to come off my meds and rely on my own CBT written work.  Last time ended in a total meltdown but i feel I have a lot more stability and CBT resources in my life these days.

Withdrawal feels like occasional giant bees flying through my head (only those who have experience will get it) but I'd reduced my intake significantly already so it's not the full-on swarm it used to be.

I'll see how it goes anyway, if nothing else it'll save a bit of money on GPs and prescriptions in the short term.

[The Legendary Shark]

Rooting for you, JBC.

[Proudhuff]

Good luck JBC!!

[JayzusB.Christ]

Thanks, guys, really appreciate it.  Last time I came off them I was living the life of Reilly in Thailand, till I came home and realised I was broke, jobless, forced to live with my parents at the age of 37 and realising I there was no way I could live that life again.

These days, I have a nice little wooden cabin in a place where I used to travel to just to enjoy the scenery, a job I don't mind, and a bit of money (not loads, but my rent is cheap).  I listen to David Burns' CBT podcast every week and have a bucketload of tools with which to do battle with the Dark Side.  So, fingers crossed.

[Funt Solo]

All the best in your endeavors, JBC. You're one of the good guys, so you deserve good things.

[Tjm86]

Don't think people fully appreciate how challenging it can be to wean yourself off medication for mental health conditions.  Even messing up dosage a day or so can be an absolute nightmare.

So here's to your success in this endeavour.  Just pace yourself and do it sensibly.  Accept that there are going to be bad days as well as insanely bad days!  In the long run though I've no doubt you'll be successful.

Personally not even close to there yet.  Much more settled now that I'm out of teaching but I finally got to the top of the waiting list for the next round of psych-treatment.  With some of the stuff that's digging up right now it probably isn't a good idea to start messing with the meds.

Anyway, glad to hear things are on the up.  Stay safe, sir ...