Life is riddled with a procession of minor impediments

[House of Usher]

Ah well, never mind - I've never been on a stag do, so you've probably been on more than I have. And you can go sailing any time!

[COMMANDO FORCES]

As of tomorrow I will be parking up the street as I won't give my council £25 for a parking permit, Fuck 'em!
17 years living here and getting one free each year and just because they mess everything up that they touch and put our money into Icelandic banks and god knows what else, they have to make the little people pay. Well not me, I'll walk those 100 yards to my house and park in those bays when I'm allowed to.
That's £25 that I could be spending on 2000AD stuff, how dare they

[House of Usher]

Since they introduced the parking permit scheme (which I was opposed to), parking has never been easier, now that all the neighbours who wouldn't buy one have to scrabble for whatever's left of the unmarked spaces!

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Ah! but you see we have a drive but the previous owners of the house put a large planter at the end next to the pavement. So if I get pissed off I will rip that to pieces and voila, a private drive for my piece of crap and the best bit. Double yellow outside the house so no-one can block me in.
I just will not give any government or council any money that I don't have to, the thieving bastards

[Mike Gloady]

Poor old TB.

[TordelBack]

Ah well, never mind - I've never been on a stag do, so you've probably been on more than I have. And you can go sailing any time!

Sadly all the stag affairs I've been at have been horrendously dull*, I was hoping for better since round our way the impending nuptials in question have been awarded the unaffectionate title of Wedding of the Century due to the amount of blood-pressure inducing micro-management and unfathomable expense involved.  While this only makes me cringe in the context of a wedding, the idea of this kind of logistical overkill being applied to a stag party definitely appeals.



*So much so that when once admitting to an off-duty stripper that I had never seen her profession in action, she wrongly concluded that I'd never been to a stag party...

[Mike Gloady]

Stag dos are horribly dull OR terrifyingly full of action.  There is no other kind.  You're best off at home, kids in bed, nomming a packet of monster munch with a pint in front of a flick.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

What was wrong with the old style stag do's getting pissed down the town and then going to bed.
Nowadays it's all about trips to Prague, paintballing, go-karting, etc.... I thought Stag Do = BOOZE

[Mike Gloady]

My brother's stag do (which I organised aged 20 as best man and by far the youngest, least boozy person present) was simple.

6pm - meal at decent steakhouse.
7.30pm - first pub
9pm - second pub
11pm - club
1:30am - unexpected hospital visit after I accidentally broke the leg of the brother of the bride.  Whoops.
2am - drinking bottles of beer in casualty with him while he assured me there was nothing to worry about.

And two days later there was an usher with a full leg cast and a pair of crutches.  Nobody in her family knows the TRUE cause of the injury to this day.  Except those who were there.  What happens in Watford STAYS in Watford.

[TordelBack]

Yeah, the booze kind are the only ones I've been to - and I think I've only enjoyed two of those, and one was a girl's (although explicitly not a Hen party, as it was just her and her male friends, which was actually very funny).  My better half actually has the worst part of the deal, as she's off to a 'spa hotel' - and while an affectionate veteran of the central European concept of a spa (unisex, keks off, into the scalding hot water then straight into the scalding cold water), she's dreading the rural Irish version, which seems to favour 'wraps' and pedicures.  She also didn't appreciate me reminding her that she didn't care for facials either, fnar fnar.

Anyway, it's all good, as I have just signed up for a day's pre-season dinghy racing in protest.  Hurrah!

[Mike Gloady]

Facials are good for girls.  tightens their... pores?  Pro V?  Vanish stain remover?

Nah, got nothing.  But that sort of thing.

[COMMANDO FORCES]

I just filled out an application form for that BBC show 'Total Wipeout' and you have to go along to auditions if selected, AUDITIONS, that's me buggered then, I'm too competitive so they won't like me

I had to laugh as one bit say this "We have a very busy schedule while recording the programme in Argentina. Please do not apply if your main motivation is a free trip to Buenos Aires as unfortunately you won't get to see much of it!"

BOLLOCKS!

[Mike Gloady]

Why not go on the one with the wall then.  Whatever that's called.  No free trip, but imagine the plaudits and praise of your fellow man.

Or try out for Ninja Warrior?

[COMMANDO FORCES]

Sam would love to see me on Ninja Warrior or Takeshi's Castle as he laughs his head off watching those. I also laugh my head off, with him!

[Mike Gloady]

Favourites of mine too.  Love it.