Last movie watched...

[Mudcrab]

I'd love to see someone try and make one of those for Futurama 

(meaning the Primer time loop thingy, back a page  )

[SmallBlueThing]

Since everybody here is busy debating upcoming movie telly adverts and whatnot, I thought it was a good time to bury the news that I spent the afternoon with chronic diarrhea and in between bouts of hosing (yes, hosing) I watched Jonah Hex.

I don't see a lot of westerns these days. When I was a kid, yes, my weekends were full of them- as my dad was a huge John Wayne fan. These days, not so much. I haven't even seen the True Grit remake. Or Bad Boys 2, come to that. On top of this, everybody- everybody- just kept going on about how absolutely diabolical Jonah Hex was. It cost me a quid or so, several months ago, and has been sitting on my 'to watch' pile ever since with me scared to watch. Well, not so much 'scared', as unwilling to commit to a movie I'm probably going to want to eject within ten minutes.

Anyway, today- what with the bum-gravy and all- i figured that it was time. After all, if it was as awful as I'd heard, sitting with my agonising ringpiece down the bog would be a blessed release.

All I can say is: my bottom-vomit chose the ninety minutes of Jonah Hex's duration to alleviate and I would like to thank it for being so kind. I really enjoyed Jonah Hex- who knows if it was the lovely little bits where he reanimated the dead, or the amusing weaponry, or Josh Brolin's suitably snarly performance, or the distractingly shit literal makeup designed to make him look like a terrible piece of comic art that never made any sense to begin with, but whatever it was Jonah Hex- far from being utterly terrible- was an entertaining little supernatural western that never got too stupid or overstayed its welcome. Yes, the glowing orange balls and 'super weapon' plot made very little sense- but to be honest, I was enjoying other aspects of the film enough by that point not to give a toss.

My entire experience of the character in comics was the six issue (Vertigo?) limited series from the early nineties and the first ten issues of the New 52 All-Star Western series. On the whole, based on that, the movie doesn't disgrace itself and is a damn site better than most comic adaptations you end up with. if it reminds me of anything, it's the two Ghost Rider films and it's probably fair to say that if you enjoyed them, you may well enjoy this. As for the astonishing amount of vitriol Jonah Hex has received, I'm at a loss.

SBT

[Frank]

Since everybody here is busy debating upcoming movie telly adverts and whatnot, I thought it was a good time to bury the news that I spent the afternoon with chronic diarrhea and in between bouts of hosing (yes, hosing) I watched Jonah Hex.

It's probably a good sign that I can completely disagree with your opinions and still look forward to your posts. I didn't hate Jonah Hex- I found it uninvolving and forgettable- but your impressions and review are much more entertaining than my own, so you win.

[SmallBlueThing]

I didn't hate Jonah Hex- I found it uninvolving and forgettable- but your impressions and review are much more entertaining than my own, so you win.

It was both uninvolving and forgettable, I agree. But then, so are most films. And I was expecting something truly staggeringly awful- you wouldn't believe the Jonah Hex movie I had made in my head- so the resultant okayishness was quite a shock. I kept waiting for something very bad to happen and it never did. A lot of the internet-hate revolves around Megan Fox, which suggests there might be a bit more to it than there first appears. I was also shocked at the talent involved- Aiden Quinn is always good value, and isn't Michael Fassbender supposed to be good? And John Malkovitch (who I personally can't stand, and who I thought did his usual phoned-in shtick here) gets good notices, I thought. But, my main point was that Hex seems to be often brought up as the nadir of modern comic films (along with Elektra and Catwoman), and I thought it was far better than that.

SBT

[Definitely Not Mister Pops]

I haven't seen Jonah Hex, I've been put off by reviewers who have likened it to a steaming pile of shit, but since SBT actually had a steaming pile of shit with which to compare it, I might just be tempted to give it a go.

[SmallBlueThing]

I haven't seen Jonah Hex, I've been put off by reviewers who have likened it to a steaming pile of shit, but since SBT actually had a steaming pile of shit with which to compare it, I might just be tempted to give it a go.

It was more of a unending stream of hot splat, to be honest.

But yeah, I was really expecting this to be the kind of movie that demands to be ejected after ten minutes and puts you in a bad mood for the whole day. But it was okay, you know.

SBT

[Colin YNWA]

I think I'd rather watch SBT produce his bottom splatage, in 3D and surround sound than sit through Jonah Hex again (well the 25 minutes or whatever I lasted)...

... okay, okay I may be getting carried away in my vitriol there...

...maybe...

[SmallBlueThing]

See, that's what i was expecting. But then he drags those dead bandits into town, has a barny with the sherrif, chucks him a severed head in bag, and mows all those bad guys down with HORSE-MOUNTED GATTLING GUNS. Horse-mounted gattling guns! At that point i figured it might have something to offer...

SBT

[JamesC]

I haven't seen Jonah Hex but I was of the impression that it wasn't so much that the film was supposed to be terrible as such - more that it was totally unrepresentative of Jonah Hex as portrayed in the comics.
I expect it's a similar case to the Dredd 95 film - fairly watchable as a Stallone vehicle but a pretty terrible Dredd adaptation.
The similarities don't end there - Dredd was inspired by Dirty Harry, Jonah by 'The Man With No Name'. Both have a dedicated but fairly small fan base and have had something of a renaissance in recent years.
I think in certain quarters fans were expecting (probably not unreasonably given the recent number of pretty decent comic movies) the Jonah film they'd always hoped for.
The Megan Fox hate campaign doesn't help either!

[Professor Bear]

I want more of a review of SBT's watery poo: for instance, has he ever had the kind that come out so fast and watery it goes sideways and ends up staining above the rim, or even spreading across the butt cheeks prompting a Fukushima-style clean-up?

See, that's what i was expecting. But then he drags those dead bandits into town, has a barny with the sherrif, chucks him a severed head in bag, and mows all those bad guys down with HORSE-MOUNTED GATTLING GUNS. Horse-mounted gattling guns! At that point i figured it might have something to offer...

SBT

Jonah hex is this generation's Posse.

[Mudcrab]

All this talk of "watery poo" is making me think I'm on the Falling Skies thread 

[bluemeanie]

Expendables 2

FUCKING AWESOME

And yeah, Dredd trailer before which also looks cool as hell on the big screen

[COMMANDO FORCES]

FRIGHT NIGHT the new version.

It was quite enjoyable and it had a few funny set pieces, which is all I needed from it.

[bluemeanie]

FRIGHT NIGHT the new version.

It was quite enjoyable and it had a few funny set pieces, which is all I needed from it.

Yeah, man.
Thought I wouldnt enjoy this as I must have watched the original dozens of times as a teenager but I thought this re-do was brilliant. Evil Ed wasnt a patch on the original but everyone else was great and Colin Farrell tore the shit out of it. Bought it for Iz as she's a David Tennant groupie

[JamesC]

From Paris With Love

Fucking stupid. A bit like a Steven Segal film but without Steven Segal. John Travolta looked like one of those things where Ant and Dec dress up in prostetics to fool people.

Tango and Cash

Great fun with some very entertaining swearing and Jack Palance eating up the scenery.
My favourite bits are the mouse versions of Tango and Cash which the villain uses as a visual aid to explain his plans for revenge and the 'English' villain with a hilarious accent who says things like' Piss off you fucking sods!'