Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
 

Author Topic: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.  (Read 11201 times)

Alski

  • Competition Hosts
  • Posting Machine
  • ***
  • Posts: 1216
    • View Profile
    • Cool Stuff You WIll Like
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #45 on: 28 February, 2010, 02:49:34 AM »
It was a Saturday night after the pubs had shut ;)

Considering that, the punctuation etc is superb.
"Cool Stuff You Will Like"

Music, Comics, Books, Video Games, TV and Film reviews/articles.

http://cool-stuff-you-will-like.blogspot.co.uk/

locustsofdeath!

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 3737
  • crik-crik chirpy-burpy slurpy-slurpy crik-crik
    • View Profile
    • locust of death!
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #46 on: 28 February, 2010, 08:53:50 AM »
Roger's Batman/Judge Dredd stories started with the beginning of the comp, so they've become sort of a...tradition.

locustsofdeath!

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 3737
  • crik-crik chirpy-burpy slurpy-slurpy crik-crik
    • View Profile
    • locust of death!
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #47 on: 28 February, 2010, 08:55:41 AM »
Also guys, the way I've interpreted Lady F's theme, we don't so much as have to have a time traveling device as just place 2000AD characters in the past. Alternate histories and all that. Thought I'd mention that, as...well, that how I've done my two stories.

Van Dom

  • Member
  • Evil Cyborg
  • ****
  • Posts: 2062
  • It's only life, we all get through it.
    • View Profile
    • The Van Domain
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #48 on: 28 February, 2010, 06:48:22 PM »
Nice pre-emptive catch there locusts!!! :lol:
Van Dom! El Chivo! Bhuna! Prof T Bear! And More! All in Vanguard Edition Three, available now. Check the blog or FB page for details!

VANGUARD COMIC!

VANGUARD FACEBOOK PAGE!

Lady Festina

  • Submod
  • Posting Machine
  • *
  • Posts: 1026
    • View Profile
    • Ubiquitous blog - occasional reading matter
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #49 on: 01 March, 2010, 11:22:28 PM »
All I can say, gentlemen, is BLIMEY!

Having been away from t'interweb for a few days, I return to find a flurry of tales ranging from the sublime to the laugh out loud. Way too many riches for a humble laydee. The literary equivalent of an ambassador's party...

Anyhoo. I am now terrified and anxious and all the rest as I have No Ideas Whatsoever for my own theme.

I'm also crying due to my lack of a penis.

Dounreay

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 767
    • View Profile
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #50 on: 01 March, 2010, 11:36:04 PM »
COMRADE TROFIM

They had fallen so very far, he and the other. A nightmare glimpse of eternity until he met the singularity and became one with it. Then he was released and the other continued to fall.

"Comrade Stalin?"

"Comrade Trofim, enter. Petrov, bring us tea and vodka."

Stalin notes the cold level look Trofim gives Petrov. The look a man might give a side of beef when deciding how best to butcher it.

"You do not approve of Petrov, comrade?"

" He thinks only of lining his pockets and servicing his fat mistress."

Stalin shrugs, "You will find me a replacement then. To business, the red list?"

Trofim slides a single sheet of paper across the desk. Columns of names, close typed in black, many crossed out in red. Stalin raises his brows, peers at Trofim. "Krushchev and Brezhnev but not Beria?"

"A traitor and his lapdog comrade, they will betray the revolution." Trofim leans forward in his chair, one fist clenched. " We did not achieve enough in the Great Purge, that must be put right."

"And Beria?"

"He shows promise. He lives. For now."

Stalin stares at Trofim, the Hero of Stalingrad, the Kursk Bear, his most able captain. He recalls how he appeared fom nowhere during the purges of 1937. A minor party officer burning with revolutionary zeal, white hot and merciless, like one of the old Bolsheviks.

"So to the front. We will be in Berlin by the turn of the year?"

"As I promised, Comrade Stalin."

"Molotov informs me that since Hitler's death the Germans are willing to sue for peace. We should accept this offer?"

"Only once they are all dead."

Stalin has seen the reports from Trofim's divisions. German children nailed living to the front of Soviet tanks, men slit open, sawed apart in front of thier comrades. The purges in the ranks. There have been no German prisoners for many months.

There is a light in Trofim's eyes now, lambent and feral. He leans closer. "We do not stop at Germany. The west is weak."

"And what cost in Russian lives, Trofim?"

"Does the anvil feel the hammer? Does the forge care for the coal in the furnace? If you would sacrafice one then why not one million?"

"We will speak of this again comrade. Leave me now."

Stalin turns once more to the speech Trofim has written for him for the approaching October.

"I exhort you all to be pure to our revolutionary ideas, to be vigilant in our defence of the motherland and to behave as true Soviet citizens..."

As Torquemada leaves, he feels the singularity burning inside him, a point in space where anything is possible. The seed for a new Termight.

And if Stalin failed him, there were so many more in this century, time without end.
 

locustsofdeath!

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 3737
  • crik-crik chirpy-burpy slurpy-slurpy crik-crik
    • View Profile
    • locust of death!
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #51 on: 02 March, 2010, 06:58:11 AM »
Ha Dounrey, another excellent tale! Great stuff!

Kerrin

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 3773
  • +OMNIUM INSIDE+
    • View Profile
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #52 on: 02 March, 2010, 07:39:56 AM »
That's a blinder Dounreay. Well done sir.

Dounreay

  • Member
  • Prog Stacking Droid
  • ***
  • Posts: 767
    • View Profile
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #53 on: 02 March, 2010, 08:02:51 PM »
Thanks for the kind words people, they're much appreciated.

The singularity idea is of course, not fiction. Simon Cowell, Bill Gates, Gordon Broon and a host of other rabid over-achievers intent on ruining the present for us sofa bound tea drinkers have them fitted...

locustsofdeath!

  • Member
  • Battle Hardened War Robot
  • ****
  • Posts: 3737
  • crik-crik chirpy-burpy slurpy-slurpy crik-crik
    • View Profile
    • locust of death!
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #54 on: 03 March, 2010, 07:56:36 AM »
Is anyone who plans to enter in the comp going to Hi-Ex? If so, and you feel you'll need a few extra days to bang out a yarn or two, PM me and I can extend the comp by a few days. Thanks!

Van Dom

  • Member
  • Evil Cyborg
  • ****
  • Posts: 2062
  • It's only life, we all get through it.
    • View Profile
    • The Van Domain
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #55 on: 03 March, 2010, 09:38:03 AM »
Nice work Dounreay. Enjoyed that with my morning tea! (MMMM, tea and communists, nice.....)
Van Dom! El Chivo! Bhuna! Prof T Bear! And More! All in Vanguard Edition Three, available now. Check the blog or FB page for details!

VANGUARD COMIC!

VANGUARD FACEBOOK PAGE!

Roger Godpleton

  • Member
  • Bionic Fingers
  • *****
  • Posts: 7179
  • Welcome to you're "Doom"!
    • View Profile
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #56 on: 07 March, 2010, 10:24:19 PM »
I'LL NEVER HURT THE ONES I LOVE MOST (467 words)



Goddamnit, that shitting snatch weasel Tharg rejected my script and the art samples I sent in. The Air Mail from here in New York to England cost a fortune and it’s money I could have done without losing since I was fired from my job as an Air Traffic Controller by Reagan. I am at least seventeen dollars short of presenting a more than decent meal to myself. I am so disenfranchised. I think I’ll just sit around watching Dallas and Moonlighting all day in my legwarmers while listening to Cyndi Lauper.

“Paul Stencog said this to his friend Irvine Stendog who was preparing his act for the open mic night at CBGB’s where The Velvet Underground, Television and Africa Bambarter were doing a triple bill. He was at least one new song away from having a full setlist. Stendog waxed cyclical”

It’s because we are not from the UK that the fictional character Tharg and not Pat Mills, Kelvin Gostnell, Steve MacManus, Richard Burton, Alan McKenzie, John Tomlinson, David Bishop, Andy Diggle or Matt Smith rejected your submissions because you are not from the UK.  I hate the fictional character Tharg and I hate the UK and I hate 2000 AD. I would like to use tfcTharg’s brain as a cumrag. I would like to pump ceaseless amounts of my virtuous dicksnot into his expiated grey matter until it is so much
Im tayking a break becores I carntthink of a similie crunch in ice cream
Sponge. Who does that shitcrotch think he is, the fucking mouldcummer?.

“Stencog said” These epimound swears are becoming boring.

“What Stencog should do is create his own anthology comic and accept submissions from the general public who want to be comic creators. He should receive submissions, appreciate their efforts, print them and thus elevate his contributors. He created a poster to advertise his needs for contributors. It said, We Want To RAPE You!”

“Stendog realised he wanted to create comic art as well as make hip-hop. But he could not draw.”

I cannot draw but I am excellent at rapping. You may think this is a stream of consciousness and you would be right. I make a conscious decision to include something. Our magazine 2000 CE will be a cassette. I will describe all of the pictures in the form of a rap. I will combine rap with art, being a rapper and an artist. I will be a rapist.”

This was where he had to go back and embellish.

They never actually got round to creating 3000 CE because of entropy or apathy. Stendog decided to go into Harlem one day where he was attacked by a buggerist and murdered. Stencog got a job back and ambled through life until he died on 9/11 at the age of 48.


Mod edit: Spoilered for the faint of heart. Roger you're a sick little puppy.
« Last Edit: 08 March, 2010, 02:42:16 PM by VinceBot »
He’s only trying to be what following how his dreams make you wanna be, man!

Alski

  • Competition Hosts
  • Posting Machine
  • ***
  • Posts: 1216
    • View Profile
    • Cool Stuff You WIll Like
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #57 on: 08 March, 2010, 09:52:16 AM »
A milestone of a story, Roger. Quiet, underestimated genius, unmatched similie and a deep undercurrent of unbridled passion.

Excuse me whilst I wipe away a tear...
"Cool Stuff You Will Like"

Music, Comics, Books, Video Games, TV and Film reviews/articles.

http://cool-stuff-you-will-like.blogspot.co.uk/

Van Dom

  • Member
  • Evil Cyborg
  • ****
  • Posts: 2062
  • It's only life, we all get through it.
    • View Profile
    • The Van Domain
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #58 on: 08 March, 2010, 12:14:45 PM »
It ain't funny anymore, Rog.
Whatever.
Van Dom! El Chivo! Bhuna! Prof T Bear! And More! All in Vanguard Edition Three, available now. Check the blog or FB page for details!

VANGUARD COMIC!

VANGUARD FACEBOOK PAGE!

VinceBot

  • Kill all humans
  • Member
  • Sentient Tea Bot
  • **
  • Posts: 281
    • View Profile
Re: 2000AD Time Twisters! The 8th 2000AD Short Story Comp.
« Reply #59 on: 08 March, 2010, 02:22:41 PM »
words

This has to be one of the most deliciously vile introspective ironic pieces I've read for a while. It left me feeling dirty.

As for the offence it evidently carries, am I not "getting" something?
« Last Edit: 08 March, 2010, 02:28:22 PM by VinceBot »