You lucky, lucky people...
To encourage the creative juices without too much plotting, instead of a short story comp we are having a limerick competition.
You can enter as many times as you want, but only ONE from each entrant will go into the voting thread (you will be asked to choose yourself)
Anything 2000ad related goes.
The most popular will get a 2000ad graphic novel, courtesy of Rebellion, with another for a random voter.
Can someone pin this please.
Good luck
(You've got until Christmas)
A fella called Bad City Blue,
Sent a message to all of his droogs,
It isn't a crime,
To deliver a rhyme,
So pens out, and over to you
BCB
Thar once wuz a buttist named Mean,
Whose buttin' wuz viciously keen;
With his dial set ta four,
He'd butt ya ta gore,
'Til all that wuz left wuz yore spleen.
Quote from: Mark Taylor on 10 November, 2014, 06:32:24 PM
Thar once wuz a buttist named Mean,
Whose buttin' wuz viciously keen;
With his dial set ta four,
He'd butt ya ta gore,
'Til all that wuz left wuz yore spleen.
fab
There once was a beardy man called Moore
Who is always asked 'Halo Jones - where's book four?'
Get off your high horse
I'm kidding of course
Don't be a bore Moore , and give us some more...
Rinus Limpopop Quintz
At Christmas liked pies full of mince
He ate such a glut
He got a pain in his gut
By grud did it make him wince
There once was a lawman called Dredd.
Who let all his of his enemies eat lead.
They would fall to the floor when he yelled "I am the Law!"
Simply because they were dead.
A cigar that was anthropomorphic
And his mate who didn't get logic
Both tortured a man
By the name of Sam
Who hunted for all things robotic
There was a lone Trooper named Rogue
Whose skin was most certainly not rouge
His stories were good
But then they went crap
A bit like this limerick
Quote from: Skullmo on 11 November, 2014, 12:02:29 AM
There was a lone Trooper named Rogue
Whose skin was most certainly not rouge
His stories were good
But then they went crap
A bit like this limerick
Must try harder.
A Citizen of Mega City One
Came across a mislaid gun
On his mind was the thrift
So gave to his son as a gift
And now he's doing a 15 stretch in the cubes for supplying firearms to minors.
Quote from: Fungus on 11 November, 2014, 11:42:31 AM
Quote from: Skullmo on 11 November, 2014, 12:02:29 AM
There was a lone Trooper named Rogue
Whose skin was most certainly not rouge
His stories were good
But then they went crap
A bit like this limerick
Must try harder.
I assume you do not understand the form of the anti-limerick. You can google it.
There once was a young boarder called Roger,
Whos Mom was real fond of the todger,
Banned for posting a picture,
of a close up of a sphincter,
He lives on in the minds of old codgers.
Judge Dredd decided to pass a new law
That said limericks need to scan.
"If they don't work
You'll get arrested
And put on a chain-gang in the Cursed Earth, Creep!" he said.
There once was a dog named Dave
who was a slave to the save
function in Excel
and it felt like hell
When he forgot to save and lost his work
The end
Oh it has to be about 2000ad!
Ok just replace Dave with Mek Quake
Quote from: Skullmo on 11 November, 2014, 01:43:10 PM
There once was a dog named Dave
who was a slave to the save
function in Excel
and it felt like hell
When he forgot to save and lost his work
The end
Oh it has to be about 2000ad!
Ok just replace Dave with Mek Quake
theres no dog called Mek-Quake! ;)
Quote from: judgerufian on 11 November, 2014, 02:45:59 PMtheres no dog called Mek-Quake! ;)
There once was droid known as Mek-Quake,
Whose pleasure and joy was to unmake.
"Big jobs!" he'd proclaim,
As he'd rupture and maim,
Both robots and humans in his wake.
The comic, 2000 AD,
Is the greatest in the galaxy.
All mortals shall cower,
Awed by it's thrill-power,
For that's how Tharg meant it to be.
Sláine Mac Roth in a corner was stuck,
By some warriors trying their luck,
So he had a warp spasm,
Which caused an orgasm,
And covered them all in his muck.
I'm in love with an eclectic lady,
Who's clever and sexy and shady,
She's not run-of-the-mill,
She knows just how to thrill,
My own darling 2000AD.
There was a forum limerick challenge some years ago. The Shakara limerick was excellent.
If its any inspiration, my entries included:
A mysterious figure called Cadman
Was a terribly terribly bad man
He was hung until dead
With a bag on his head
But lived on in the dream of a madman
On Termite the atmosphere's grave
And a trip there is just for the brave
If you meet Torquemada
And his holy armada
Be pure - be vigilant - behave!
The eventful life of a fish
Was spared from a restaurant dish
By benevolent Cal
Who became his best pal
Piscine Deputy Chief by his wish
Dredd sent an assassin named Slocum
To not boil baste or fry but just smoke em
Judge Fish ended up dead
Cal recruited a Klegg
The law nearly died it was spoken
Here's another competition where I might get into trouble with the rules.
A Prayer from Limerick
Give us this day our Daily Star Dredd
A canvas on which great wonders are spread
With writing by John
And art by our Ron
It's a book that demands to be read.
The star girls have come and then gone
To marriage, or acting or pron
Our attention they'd catch
But Dredd was more than a match
Even though they had so little on
Each story a self contained gem
So that we never tire of them
In ten panels or less
They contain such greatness
That they really should be in a museum
Give us this day our daily Dredd
So that our long starved appetite my be fed
The missing strips have been found
Let the trumpet call sound
For this book which demands to be read.
There was a young Russian called Nik
Whose wits were especially quick.
But the Romanov son
Was second to none
When it came to defending his...honour.
There once was a Soldier named Rogue,
Who, suddenly, wasn't 'In Vogue!
Re-booted too Fuck, but still out of Luck,
It's a shame cause the character's Gold!
Cheers
An odourous mudball named Quinch
Thought dating girls would be a cinch,
But with a stink like no other,
He soon would discover,
they suffered from death at first clinch
There once was a Strontium Dog
Whose visage resembled a frog.
He was a great bloke,
But sadly did croak,
And never appeared in the Prog.
There's a tradition or an old charter or something which says 50% of limericks have to be about a man from Nantucket (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/There_once_was_a_man_from_Nantucket). So...
There was an old Judge from Nantucket
Whose helmet was shaped like a bucket
When the going got tough
He'd just pull it off
And under his arm he would tuck it.
There was an old man called Dredd
Who long ago should of been dead
If the perps had been quick
Or a tad less thick
He'd be napping in dirt for a bed.
There was a young Barp called Ace Garp,
Who hailed from the planet of Parp,
For abundance of brain,
He had never known fame,
But boy, was his pointy head sharp!
Harry 20 languished on a rock high above the Earth
A place of anguish far, far from the sound of mirth
Where wily Warden Worldwise ruled cruely supreme
and Big Red One beat upon men till they gibbered, writhed and screamed
But Harry made off in a jury rigged craft and returned to the place of his birth.
Z