2000 AD Online Forum

Small Axe kicks ass, Its a publication that gives people a chance to get there stories in print..rufus dont even draw probably...Watch Out 2000 ad Small Axe brings down big tree's

So does Dutch Elm disease...

I was unfortunate enough to buy last years Small Axe book. It was (is still is) shyte. Nice printing though.

Grant funded I believe, just as well, they're not gonna get rich on sales alone.

If it's at Bristol I'll take a look, but no promises!

What's Rufus got in it?

What is it?

SMALL AXE

A Caribbean journal of criticism

Small Axe focuses on the renewal of the practices of intellectual criticism in the Caribbean and on the expansion/revision of the horizons of such criticism. It recognizes a tradition of social, political, and cultural criticism in and about the regional/diasporic Caribbean and honors that tradition. It also argues with it because it is through such argument that a tradition renews itself. Small Axe provides a forum for rethinking many of the conceptions that guided the formation of Caribbean modernities - conceptions of class, gender, nation, culture, and race, for example - and provides an informed and sustained debate about the present, its political and cultural contours, its historical conditions and global content, and the critical languages in which change can be thought and alternatives re-imagined. The journal regularly includes fiction, nonfiction, poetry, interviews, visual art, and reviews, and is published twice a year.

Or not.

It's a reggae thing!


From a Bob Marley site:

As explained in Timothy White's CATCH A FIRE book:

In what seems like a simple allegory in which a woodsman informs a large tree that it is about to be felled, "Small Axe" is actually a fascinating three pronged assertion that is readily understood by all Jamaicans but utterly obscure to almost anyone else.

Not only is "Small Axe" intended as a warning to oppressors everywhere that the people of the Third World will one day cut them down to size, but it is also a bit of bravado that had a particular application to the Jamaican recording industry. When the song was originally written by Marley and noted Kingston producer Lee Perry, it referred to "the Big T'ree," the island's dictatorial record company triumvirate-Dynamic, Federal and Studio One.

And the central image of tree-felling, accompanied by the excuse that it is being done according to the wishes of a superior, is a sober throwback to the old plantation-era pecking order, when slaves who were ordered to topple the island's gigantic silk-cotton trees, which they held sacred, would sprinkle some rum on the roots of the trunks and sing a woeful song. This was done to assure the spirits lurking within that this destruction was not the slaves' idea, but rather the will of their masters.

Why boasteth thyself, oh evil men,
Playing smart and not being clever?
I say you're working iniquity to achieve vanity, yeah,
But the goodness of JAH JAH endureth forever.

If you are the big tree,
We are the small axe.
Sharpened to cut you down,
Ready to cut you down.

These are the words of my master.
Keep on telling me
No weak heart shall prosper,
Oh, no they can't.

And whosoever diggeth a pit, Lord,
Shall fall in it, shall fall in it.
Whosoever diggeth a pit shall bury in it,
Shall bury in it.

If you are the big tree,
We are the small axe
Sharpened to cut you down,
Ready to cut you down.

And whosoever diggeth a pit shall fall in it, fall in it.
Whosoever diggeth a pit shall bury in it, shall bury in it.

If you have a big tree,
We have a small axe
Ready to cut you down,
Sharpened to cut you down.

If you are the big tree,
we are the small axe
Ready to cut you down,
Sharpened to cut you down.

I Understand Grennie's post about pimping now.

Bolt-01!!

Heh.
Just what I was thinking, Bolt!

Yeah, but we still don't know what the hell "rufus dont even draw probably" is all about.

Is he talking about our Rufus?  Is he using 'probably' when he means 'properly'?

It's all very strange.  Still won't be buying it, though.

I'm a bit worried that someone in charge of a small publication can't even spell or use correct grammar and punctuation...

   Steve

It's a small press local rag (local to Norn Iron that is) produced by some people I don't know with government grant assisted money. Perhaps you could send a script Gordon, government funded - that's money in the bank for ya.

If you're curious enough check the link below, it even has pages from the book, I don't think you'll believe how poor it is.

As for "rufus dont even draw probably" I think he means properly and just shows what mentality these people have - I'm not even sure what point he's/she's making (interesting as Rufus will actually get the opportunity to meet these guys next week at the comic thing happening here in Belfast on Saturday - I must bring this to his attention when he gets here - I wonder if they'll be so opinioniated).

Take it from me,(as if you all need to be told) Rufus can draw properly and probably.

Link: behold the shyte!

My Dad and his Rocker mates decided to have a quiet evening out in Eyam[famous for the last stand to the black plague],for a quiet pint.

I dont know what happened exactly but it all ended up with him and his friends, burning a church down,being trapped in an old red phone box,with some crewcutted deep-country boys outside offended by his and his friends long hair. Their conclusion to this offence was to chop off their hair with an axe.

A small axe.

And I bet that story is more interesting than your whole fecking magazine.

What bothers me was how they managed to fill in that (apparently successful) grant application.  Was it a group effort?


"Our aplicatn kicks ass and we can all draw and rwite probably....not like stupid rufus....do we get the money?"

A bit less social commentary and a lot more robots fighting dinosaurs and they could've got some of my cash...probably.

they seem to have some illustrators with some talent working for them, how come they weren't able to get some writers with some talent working for them as well?

Well I always said I wanted some Irish comics, though admittedly not quite like this. :( Some good art though, especially in the budgie story, so that's something anyway.

I dont know if our incoherent friend has anything to do with Small axe but going on the quality of the scripts it seems possible. And what's with the Rufus bashing?!

The real question however is will it be the new Solar Wind? Only time will reveal the answer to that question.

You SAY you want Irish comics, but I'll bet you still didn't buy DNA Swamp when it came out...

I am going to look into getting a grant for something up here (a local comic, for local people), it's unlikely, but I think I'll try.  I suspect the forms make it impossible to get through and you have to know someone on the board.

I think Irish comics get quite enough money as it is! Tax payers money would be better off spent on something the whole community can use. Down with these scrounging funnymen!

I thought Tom O'Conner was a Liverpudlian.

? seeing things mate...(whistles innocently)

Is that Barry McGuigan on top of a horizontal Ian Paisley?

Tom O'connor? Isn't that Dave Allen?

Bolt-01

Small axe, pah. What you need is a big axe, like a btlle axe.

But surely a btlle axe is quite a ltlle axe...?

;-)

M@

In relation to a teeny tiny children's axe, no.

Hatchett surely..

This was my favourite strip...

Small Arse? never heard of it.
Look forward to meeting them though, they sound like right  clever lads.
rufus

Probably...

You SAY you want Irish comics, but I'll bet you still didn't buy DNA Swamp when it came out..

I did stuff for that - I can safely say it was cack.

-pj

JEB: if you had said 'properly' then it'd be a job

How can you *say* such a thing?  It had Celtor - the Irish version of Superman - in it!

Ah yes, DNA Swamp... another golden opportunity wasted. PJ is right of course, it was crap.

In fact I can think of only one home grown comic worth reading.. Holy Cross.

If you can track down any issues of that you're in for a treat. and while your at it Major Power and Spunky and The Moon Looked Down And Laughed (PJ is that part of the Holy Cross stories) are also worth a look.

A bit of a shame there's nothing much coming out of Ireland, really, as there's probably budding artists and writers chomping at the bit to get their stuff out there, but lacking the necessary outlet - and funding.
If I don't make a complete hog's ear of getting Pony School completed and printed on time, I might fancy my chances putting something together and trying to get my hands on some of that grant money - although that wouldn't be a prerequisite for putting something together.

I drew Holy Cross #3, The Moon Looked Down and laughed (which was part of Holy Cross - it would've been episode 4, but they wanted it extended IIRC) and The Dandy Lion - all with Mal Coney.

Just to clarify: anything I did with DNA Swamp was cack - I couldn't comment on the rest.

There are a few Irish comics - all coming out of the South. Up North (it's grim up North) there seems to be Small Axe (I have a copy of issue #1 - it's all very early 90s) and ... that's about it - although I stand to be corrected - not getting the chance to frequent my local comic shop I've no idea if there are any wannabe writers/artists in Norn Iron - but we'll see on Saturday when we're having a mini-comic festival type thing (which I wasn't invited to .. damn it)

- pj

shows the mentality these people have, you dont even know them!!PROB'ABLY meaning most likely...you jumped up tart who the feck are you to sit in judgement on peoples mentality...Tell rufus to come an ask for stevie, I'll be more than happy opine to his countenance...get a sense of humour....numpty

In fairness, PJ, they probably just don't want you scaring the kids.

Sorry, I meant they PROPERLY don't want you scaring the kids.

Jesus, there's no need to be so defensive, Stevie - you came on to a board which (like most other boards with heavy daily traffic) has its regulars who latch onto the smallest flaw in any statement and take the piss FOR THE PURPOSE OF AMUSING THEMSELVES, which is what happens here all the time.  Which you'd know if you'd read the board for a bit before posting purely to advertise your magazine.
Anyway, seeming to insult one of the regulars for no reason (even if it was just a typo) was bound to elicit some comment, and you were better off just ignoring the comebacks, to be honest.

I personally liked the creativeness of adding an aspostrophe to "probably" and typing it in caps, seemingly making it special and Rufus-specific.

Perhaps a full, dictionary-like definition of "PROB'ABLY" would make us understand more?

Will there be other words to come that are attributed to people linked with 2000ad? A couple of examples might be:

"...john wagner don't even AP'PARENT'LY write"

"...tom frame don't even sometime MAY'BE letterers"

Er.. it's Umpty actually (unless you're doing your creative spelling thing.. in which case it would be Ump'ty).

Christ, you small axe people sound a right laugh, can't sustain a reasonable argument, hey a bit of violence will sort that out.

Is if Norn Iron didn't have enough of a reputation, was that you at the Glens/Linfield match last saturday?

Joe Dredd don't even ACT'UABLY bust perps.

Also, while I'm here, let's discuss apostrophe use, shall we? Here's a helpful song to help you remember how it goes. Best accompanied by a chimp on spoons and a Yorkshireman playing the Fool.

Ooooohhh, if you want possessives put one before the 's'
But if you want a plural just add an 's' on the end
Let's not forget the exception to the rule which is:
(tralalalallala)
Its/it's, the rule governing which goes:
(tralalalallala)
If you want possessive, then it's "I-T-S"
But if you want contraction, then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S"
Singing hey, ho, tralalalallala hey, ho, tralalalallallallallalllayyyy!

Well, the bloke probably (yes, that's probably) turned up, and thought he'd plug his comic in a cheeky way, and didn't expect it to be taken so seriously.  Maybe we shoudl give him a break now.

"If I don't make a complete hog's ear of getting Pony School completed and printed on time, I might fancy my chances putting something together and trying to get my hands on some of that grant money - although that wouldn't be a prerequisite for putting something together."

Well I love comics so if you need someone to cough up a script I'll gladly volunteer. I'm very passionate about creativity and grants and stuff. Plus I could do that cool writer thing where I ask you for your "input" then use all your ideas before dumping you for John Burns.

Think about it!

yer a NUMPTY..What violence..What reasonable argument....stereo typin people in ireland...I dont watch football..Racist Rasclot...ooohhhh wait till I tell rufus   oooohhhh

stereo typin people in ireland
I dont watch football

Next you'll be trying to tell us you don't walk around with a pig under your arm.

ooohhhh wait till I tell rufus oooohhhh

Sorry, but what exactly do you mean when you talk about Rufus?

Are you referring to the 2000AD art droid Rufus Dayglo, who posts here as mc1juve?  And if so, what's he ever done to offend you so much?

Or...what?

Steve,  did you turn up on the board to have a temper tantrum and hurl personal abuse?
I'll see you on the weekend. I look forward to seeing your comic. I just hope it's more interesting than your posts.
All the best, Rufus (yeah, that Rufus)
Prob'ably

Senor Baggins,
 I think Steve's got a bee in his bonnet ecause I was invited to talk with Garry Leach about the A1 stuff we're doing.
They invited me,sorry Steve.
Rufus

Rufus,

Was the talk you and Gary did on 'How to Draw Comics Probably'?

;->

Sometimes I feel guilty for implying Irish people are all pig-carrying idiots. And then other times...

Yeah Gordon!
;-)
Probably they wanted me to talk about animation. I've probably animated/and or assisted for 14 years. They probably wanted to hear about how we put together stuff like Gorillaz,  WB Movies , TV storyboards or BBC Titles for the World Cup and Elections. Probably mention the guide animation I worked on for Henson Workshops too (They've got the puppets for 'The Dark Crystal' there...mmmm.)
 But this is all conjecture of course.
Rufus

course i dont i have a pig under each arm

Are you sure?

How about a horse that runs up and down your High Street all day, narrowly missing men carrying piles of turf?

No i did'nt turn up to hurl abuse or have a tantrum...Abuse was hurled first over a silly drunken message i left probably...meanin more than likely.........what RUFUS, is this Rufus T Firefly the dictator of Freedonia......

Yeah, that's me. you Chico?
:-) rufus

Hello Uncle Umpty..Yes it was unfortunate you bought last years small axe as it was free....no one will get rich from it as all money goes back into doing more comics..it being a local Irish comic book collective funded by grants an stuff and put together in peoples back rooms,its not 2000 ad and i dont think it ever will be,(but we tried goddamn it, we tried) just to try an give people a chance...but hey maybe they should'nt...maybe they should roll over an not try.. let the big comics carry on ...respect

Getta your tuttsi fruitsi ice cream...

Stevie -

Maybe a good start would be telling us what is in it, where we can buy it, why we should buy it...

I'm not sure antagonising several people and mildly annoying the rest is the greatest way to make your publication known.  That's just a personal opinion, though, and we'll have to compare sales figures at Bristol, if you're there.

Also, tutti frutti is clearly the antiChrist of bubblegum and ice cream flavours, clearly inferior to the greatness of raspberry ripple.

Raspberry Ripple is an ice cream for perverts: a true Englishman would choose either vanilla, chocolate or (if he was feeling somewhat daring) strawberry - we'll have none of your continental nonsense here!

Most humble apologies if i antagonised or annoyed anyone on the board..it features 14 different stories with vampires,homosexual rude boys,superheros,a musical,rockets,explodin planets,shite,cannibalism,mice,a big green man in tight blue pants,quiz nite,pigs..etc...you can buy it online @www.smallaxeonline .org   ...because it gives a chance to ordinary people to tell stories that other wise might not be told..a chance for people to show there artwork...its a new outlet for peoples ideas that wasnt there before,which i for one think is a good thing..we need more of them small axes for everyone..except uncle umpty probably......whatever.....getta yer tuttsi fruitsi ice cream...

What about the neapolitan?  While clearly Continental, it comprises the three flavours of Englishness.  I am now confused and shall retire for a cool gooseberry syllabub.

Indeed I stand corrected Mr McLaughlin, the copy I picked up  was indeed free.

How much is the new one?

See, this is why I love Norn Iron.
We'd argue about bloody anything.

No we wouldn't.

I knew I could depend on you, Bear!

Don't get sarcastic with me, yeh wee bollix yeh.

Or what?
Al hay ye, ye shite.

Will ye fuck, hi!
Yer fulla shite!

Aye dead on wee man, dead on.

Have to say


fkkn good thread this.

Sorry, do you two want to get a room (I realise this would be a large expense for those coming from the Irish regions), rather than pollute the messageboard with your homoerotic foreplay?

Watch out - the missus is gettin' jealous...

Yer the yin dra'in her piktures so ye are, no me.
She's al your big lad.

Ah see tha', bi' la, bu' iss aal abuv board, hi!

Aye right, sez you like.

Make your bizarre Celtic jokes if you like, but i would at least appreciate being referred to by the correct sex.






Bottom feeding subhuman scum!

Ach fuck away aff!

Aaa Hahahahahahaha!

!!!!! !!!herh h'ahuhuhuaa

never thought that I'd deem normal a demin wearing banjo player in any context, but...

For anyone finding the subtle nuances of the northern irish brogue a little hard to decipher, have a look at this site, download the lessons

enjoy

"Ya buck eejit ye....."
Soon you'll be able to understand sentences like this! Can you believe how simple it is?! No?! Well you'd better try it then, because its really simple. So simple in fact, a Carryduff hairdresser could learn it!

Link: Speak Norn Iron

wow. that website ... is really, really, scarily accurate...

-pj

But it just demystifies the raw sexual appeal of being spoken to in something that sounds akin to the scream of an articulated lorry's brakes locking into place.