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General Chat => Off Topic => Topic started by: Dounreay on 10 December, 2002, 01:36:48 PM

Title: Christmas Things That Really Nark Yer
Post by: Dounreay on 10 December, 2002, 01:36:48 PM
A little light relief from all that voting and a refuge for us Scrooge's.

Things to hate about the festive season.

My top three are

1. Enforced jollity.

2. Decorations in the pub.

3. People who only go to the pub once a year at Christmas and ruin it for us regulars.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Smiley on 10 December, 2002, 02:00:29 PM
Shops and sad w*nkers who celebrate Xmas starting on October 15th (date of the first fairy lights I spotted this year).
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Bolt-01 on 10 December, 2002, 03:03:01 PM
Neither Mrs 6795 or meself have done ANY shping yet, apart from scoping out Warhammer 40 000 fo our eldest.

I can'tbelieve how early IT seems to get every year. At the ASDA near me, the selection boxes went on sale at the end of september.

Scrooge6795
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Trout on 10 December, 2002, 03:41:37 PM
"People who only go to the pub once a year "

Straight from work, then drink far too much and start fights with kebab shop owners.

Idiots.

- Trout
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Devons Daddy on 10 December, 2002, 06:06:47 PM
all those drokkers who turn up twenty minutes before the resturant opens its doors.want to come in and sit down,

then ask these following questions.
1/ why there is no service.
2/ do you have any vegetarain christmas puddings
3/ do you have ketchup
4/ can i change my order(after we have cooked it)
5/ is it always so slow.(the Mcdonalds generation)
6/ do you offer take away
7/ dont you have frozen sprouts

if you are one of these non foodies stay out of my resturant you barbiran philistines.

thankyou i feel so much better for saying that.
you simply cant in this industry unless you own the place.

oh this site is the finest place onteh web isnt it.
Devons Daddy the stressed chef.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Quirkafleeg on 10 December, 2002, 06:33:01 PM
"I said off the bone!"
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: djok on 10 December, 2002, 06:39:32 PM
"this steak is not rare enought" what do you want me to do kill the f**king cow at your table

sorry im a part time chef as well and i hate fussy f**king custmers

djok
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Quirkafleeg on 10 December, 2002, 06:44:10 PM
Office parties are awful, can't get too pissed and you a 'socialising' with people you've spent all year hating...

Morons in shops who don't know where anything is.

Ah the crap christmas 'specials' that are on the Telly... Bleeding Fools and Hourse again! Jason looks as old a the grandad used to...

Bah Humbug!

No I love it really!
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: ukdane on 10 December, 2002, 06:46:52 PM
People who still think Christmas is about a religious event...
... that's why you've got Easter!






Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 10 December, 2002, 07:32:52 PM
Being hungover on Christmas morning then eating loads of chocolate anyway; and feeling rough as all fuckery by the time dinner comes around. Although I've stoppedgetting buckled on Christmas Eve over the last year or two.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Oddboy on 10 December, 2002, 08:53:16 PM
"Go to church today... beat the Christmas rush!"
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 10 December, 2002, 09:32:13 PM
people who don't celebrate it cos its a pagan festival,
people who celebrate it cos it is a Christian festival.
office parties that spill onto the streets, where people who usually would die rather than non conform think theyre wild cos they are wearing tinsel in their hair & snog the boss.
children who shredd open their presents then have a tantrum all day on account of having been so hyped up before hand.
all xmas tv.
the fact that so many people are miserable & alone, & the hospitals & asylums are heaving at the seams & more people crack up at xmas.
The fact that we feel obliged to stock pile tonnes of food that we can't pay for until march, & will go to waste anyway.
The long dark nights (dark all day moreorless) of the North.
the local shop offering cherry & mince pies to customers, with a gloomy look that says "don't eat my pies bitch"
mostly i hate trying to get back into work mode in january after weeks of being fat & lazy.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Malchidiel on 11 December, 2002, 12:24:24 AM
Family coming round to visit, when they know how much I hate people around me (personal bubble and all that). I think they do it on f*ckin' purpose...Twats.

Apart from that I lurve Chrimbly.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Adrian Bamforth on 11 December, 2002, 12:35:00 AM
"Ah the crap christmas 'specials' that are on the Telly... Bleeding Fools and Hourse again!"

But...."We'll be miwionaires!"

ADE
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Adrian Bamforth on 11 December, 2002, 12:39:21 AM
Yeah, good point: Baby Jesus being born.

And here's another thing: You cannot "follow" a star - you can go in the right direction but you can't end up underneath it at a specific point as small as say, a stable, unless we're talking more about levitating fireballs here.

ADE
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: JayzusB.Christ on 11 December, 2002, 12:44:50 AM
'You cannot "follow" a star'.
I was going to make a shit joke about stalking Mavis from Coronation Street for three months, but then I thought of a good point intead: What about sailors in the old days? They followed stars.
'All I ask is a tall ship,
And a star to steer her by'.
              Unknown (by me)
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: satchmo on 11 December, 2002, 05:09:16 AM
These morons who decorate the outside of their houses with christmas shite,using up enough electricity to power the international space station.when did this horrific yank pursuit darken our nation? (and no,I haven't got one opposite me!)
Oh,and mindless consumption,but that pisses me off all year round.
Nice things about christmas-
ray harryhausen films
my birthday is the 23rd,so i'm festive for 2 days that week : )
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Adrian Bamforth on 11 December, 2002, 09:01:20 AM
As I say, stars are a fine navigational tool if you know where you want to go (telling you which way you are facing) , crap at leading you to a specific point, cos it would always be too far away to tell you when you have arived.

The "Wise Men" were indeed in all likelyhood astrologers (as we know religion is nealy always planted on top of earlier beliefs - the nativity story matches very closely to an earlier messiahic story), though Christians are unlikely to remind us of that today. Hey, I guess that answers my question then, Mr, er, Christ.

ADE
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Oddboy on 11 December, 2002, 03:20:42 PM
Without trying to re-open the heated religious debate, surely it was a miracle & as such un-quantifiable by the scientific logic you'd normally apply to astral navigation?

Watch Pulp Fiction again & Sam Jackson puts it quite nicely.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 11 December, 2002, 03:58:57 PM
But satchmo, Overthe top ridiculous outside lights are a muct to offend stuff retentive neighbours, to give the kids  a sense of pride "nyahhh our house is the silliest"; to bring light into the sesonally affective disorder of the dark days & nights, to guide one home back from xmas booze ups, and mostly to scare the winter spirits away.. so there.
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Trout on 11 December, 2002, 08:04:38 PM
"Without trying to re-open the heated religious debate, surely it was a miracle & as such un-quantifiable by the scientific logic you'd normally apply to astral navigation?"

Fishy agreement. We can't explain everything.

Just don't get me started on the Loch Ness Monster!

- Trout
Title: Re: Christmas Things That Really ...
Post by: Slippery PD on 11 December, 2002, 08:08:21 PM
are you related???  

Yer Slippo