2000 AD Online Forum

Cast your minds back if you will to the depths of last Christmas. What do you remember? The presents? The boarder awards? How you gave me your heart, but the very next day I threw it away?

No of course you don't. What you remember most and fondest of all is the exciting tale of how King Trout made the Baby Jesus cry, and slapped Tharg in the chops. Isn't it? (Say "Yes, Pete")

Well, as literally some of you demanded it (or at least didn't pounce on me and cut my arms off when I mentioned the possibility) I'm planning to do another Trout Tale this year. Which is where you scribblers come in.

I'm going to need pictures of evil mutant fish. Lots of 'em. Anything will do, from a single pic to a whole page, whatever you fancy doing. I'm planning to take a Stan Lee approach to the script - i.e. let you draw pretty much what you like, then make up any old gubbins to go with it and claim all the credit ;)

The one stipulation is that you must feature some kind of representation of yourself, and said representation must reach a nasty death at the hands of King Trout.

Trust me, this is going to be a belter. Certainly not some poorly-plotted unlikely nonsense filled with lame in-jokes. Oh no.

To give you an idea of the standard required, here's a link to the last Trout tale, and a sketch for the new one. As you can see, talent is not necessary to take part in this smorgasboard of piscene pish.

If you fancy contributing to the m?nage ? poissons, sendmail me or register your interest on this thread, and I'll supply you with the HIDEOUS DETAILS of what I require of you.

Link: Away In a Fish Tank

can I have a go?

what? let that Troutish one get the better of me ? ahhhh don't think so !

Max: of course, anyone's invited to this party.

Bou: If you can think of something funnier, by all means ;)

meeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm  no art droid but I can draw the kind of stuff you're suggesting. How many panels, by the way ?

Probably as a rough guide no more than 6-8 panels. As you've alreay proved yourself as being handy with the 3-4 panel format, that's a good guide to base it on. The climax of this terrifying tale of fin excess will be a photoshopped collage of many fish, so single pics are also welcome.

Cheers, makes my email kinda redundant, oh well

further details mailed to you. Don't blab now, it's a secret! ;)

well, what happens is...

I'm in.

As a faithful servant of the trout I feel honour-bound to report for duty!



Bolt-01

Hmmmm.

I just noticed this ridiculous idea.

Please not your mighty King's image is copyright the evil fish himself and should not be used to profit, prOnography or pea soup.

However, should you wish to pay tribute to me, I'll tolerate it.

This is going to be shite...

- Trout

I imagine so.  You're in it.

Shut up, Professor Bitch.

OHHHHHhhhhh... hark at *her* - King Tit.

I'm in, and you can imagine the angle I'll be taking... ;-)



Ed

I can report LMS is also willing to take part.

- Trout

That's just as well, as he doesn't really have any choice in the matter ;)

Pete: waiting for instructions.....

Bolt-01

I'll give you instructions, Bolt.

Put a pair of underpants on your head and go to the window.

Open it and scream, "I love cauliflower but I hate cheese sauce!"

Then burst into tears, please.

- That will be all

I'll get sommat to you tonight, Bolt.

I've had some pictures already, and I think this stands a chance of being a very "special" strip ;)

I now have many pencil monkeys at my command, but still I want more!

"Special" as in the type of school you went to, Mask Boy?

And I'll do the commanding round here...

- The puissant poisson

Pete, does the trout sound worried to you? I reckon he's papping his bowl about this.

Trout: I did all that and they just told me to stop making an arse of myself and get back in my cage!

Bolt-01

I'm Special!

Pete: If you sent anything over the sendmail last night, I never got it.

Send it to whistlerstrip@aol.com will ya?

Bolt-01

Gah! forgot, sorry, kinda busy lasy night.

S'okay, didn't want to miss it.

Bolt-01

Here's my pic to show the idea for my part of the strip  (obviously the real strip will have to smaller and in black and white et all)

shhh! Don't give the plot away! (even though I haven't figured out what it is yet)

nice pic though, some good ideas in there.

I've had a few drawings and panels now, and it's looking good, I reckon this could be a masterpiece in the making. Or at least an extraordinarily silly thing.

More drawings always welcome. No real art droids have yet been foolish enough to volunteer shoddy sketches, come on, you know you want to! all offerings will be properly acknowledged, unless you're tied to contracts which state otherwise ;)

Note to pencil monkeys: avoid posting pics here, mail them to me, I'd like our evil fish-tyrant to have a nice surprise when he sees the frankly deranged things we're capable of :)

In fact, if any paid art droid contributes anything to this foolish exercise, I'll give the original art as a prize to whoever King Trout deems the best contributor to the final thing.

And I'll buy said art droid(s) a pint next time I see them. Can't say fairer than that. :)

Pete? did you get my quick sketch (sponsored by Blossom Hill)?

If you like it I'll draft a more finished version.


Ed

*bump*

I've had quite a few pages and pictures sent me now, and it's all looking very good indeed, I'll not mention anyone in particular right now, as everything I've been sent has been great :)

But still I need more! I'm particularly looking for single images right now, partly because I'll need them for the climax of the tale, but also becasue I've got an idea for a page which involves the repetition of one image, kinda like Andy Warhol but without the talent. So all submissions still welcome. Talent is no obstacle, in fact I'd welcome a few more things that are crap (in a good way, obviously), as the standard so far is frankly rather high for such an ill-conceived venture as this.

If I could have everything by the end of the month that'd be great.

Keep scribbling, my graphite-wielding simian friends!

should it be b&w or colour?

I've finished it and will be sending it to you shortly. But I take great offence at the word 'simian' I am a robot, not an ape. ;-)

Mine ony took me 20 mins

Got it, Max, nice one :)

either b/w or colour's fine, by the way.

I might actually get around to doing this... been too focussed on trying to actually finish GTA:VC the last coupla weeks...

Working on it now...

Done. You have mail.

*bump*
I've had many beautiful images from various minions of the trout, as well as some very...special ones. Anyone who hasn't yet sent me stuff and is intending to, could you do so asap please, I'm planning to get started properly on sorting this out this week. I hope to get most of it online by Christmas, or at least by New Year, depending on how quickly I can get my arse into gear.

Are you ready for the ULTIMATE FISH TRIP??

Well?

Patience, my zombie friend...

I should have something online over the weekend.

Anyone who's intending to send me sommat and hasn't, get yer skates on!

is your name pete mask replica
a referance to the album trout mask replica
by captain beefheart

it is. And yes i know i'm not pete, but i do know the answer.

thats a cool album to name yourself after.
before geting the internet i used to think i was the only captain beefheart fan.

I've seen it.  And it's SPECIAL.

As Have I IT ROCKS ASS

which do you think is better
trout mask replica or safe as milk.
i personally like trout mask replica.

no, not trout mask replica, it is far too much like petemaskreplica (I assume this is about changing your username ? )

**attention Esoteric Ed**
Did you get round to finishing your pic? it's not too late to join in this smorgasboard of shite.

In the meantime, everyone else, you can enjoy the first part of this woeful enterprise now at the link below.

More will follow after Christmas...

Link: Too Many Trout, part 1

WOW! Who did the opening page?

Superb stuff there.

Bolt-01

they're Captain Beefheart albums


I have Mirrorman myself- but in all ten or fifteen years of having it I've listened to it about 3 times- and I was drunk 2 of those times

Bah!  Wish I'd had a go now now.  Mulcher's effort managed not to suck either- which made a pleasant change...

;)

Um... "it's not too late to join in this smorgasboard of shite"

A seasonal addition for this thread.


ALL:
We three greats of 2000AD
Embodying thrill-power perfectly
Come to heel, to grovel and kneel,
The Trout's minions all are we.

CHORUS:
O Trout of Wonder, Trout of light
Rules us all with bile and spite
Irradiated, hence mutated
But luckily not that bright

THARG:
Twenty-five years to offer have I
Of strips that enchant and bedazzle the eye
Betelgeusian, never refusin'
To worship the Trout most high

CHORUS

DREDD:
My scars and service I've given to you
Even though you should be encubed
Cal and Kazan, were drokking amazin'
But the Trout is one evil dude.

CHORUS

SAVAGE:
King Trout – nonce!  I ain't 'avin' it
To a fish never will kneel this proud Brit
With me shootah, against yer 'ooter,
Your orders they ain't worth spit

CHORUS

ALL:
Under the rule too long of the fish
We feel the need for a special dish
Boiled with tatters or fried in batter
Trout supper is our fervent wish

O Trout of Wonder, Trout of light
Rules us all with bile and spite
Irradiated, hence mutated
But luckily not that bright

Hurrah!

A nice(?) carol!

Bolt-01

Genius!

"WOW! Who did the opening page?"

petemaskreplica smirks smugly

Nice carol, Duds!
When I get the rest of it sorted, watch out for Dudley's contribution. It really is special.

JEB, you're quite speedy at drawing pictures aren't you? so if you can toss one off quickly I'm sure I can accommodate you (fnarr). Obviously it won't be as good as Molcher's, but hey, it's the thought that counts, isn't it? ;)

It was you! Wow! very impressed.

Bolt-01

who says technology can't compensate for lack of talent? ;)

Check your inbox...

So far, your mighty King heartily approves of your efforts, mud-eaters!

I particularly enjoy scenes of you all dying. I am amused.

Also, Dudley's doggerel, although not entirely respectful, is very competent. :-)

- Trout

"Dudley's doggerel, although not entirely respectful, is very competent. :-)"

Hah! Wait til you see his drawing! ;)

--**attention Esoteric Ed** Did you get round to finishing your pic? it's not too late to join in this smorgasboard of shite.--

Pete, sorry I didn't but I'll try and knock something together tonight if it's not too late?


Ed

Having only seen this recently, i just started something too. How long do i have?

I drawded a picture!

well mail me then!

I'll be AWOL after tomorrow til sometime next week, so anytime in the next weeks or so's fine. If anything arrives after that I may add it later in a director's cut, though this will of course involve me superimposing aliens on your pictures and changing my death scene so that I shoot first.

Pete, my entry is now in your emailbox, sorry it's a little rushed.


Ed

When will the rest be up?

Phase 2 is up now... the conclusion will follow, er, when I've drawn it.

Link: Too Many Trout, part 2

heh, brilliant ! well done pete great project..

but what next ? that can't be it ? we need to see the fish mangled & mashed & then the prologue where i run away with bisley & the workmen into a blissful future of eternal scotch pies & drams, ive drawn the first 72 panels already....sigh.

Thats a beauty! Honorable NICE ONE!s to Bou, Noisy and JEB

Whay! Now why couldn't the trout have reward my loyalty in silver? or even vodka? No wait, he's already done the vodka. hmmm....

Well done to all involved.

Roll on pt 3!

Bolt-01

Yay! My horribly shoddy artwork sees the light of day!!

well it was one of the pages that  made me chortle loudest, & not in a mean way !

lets here it for irn bru !

Bliadhna mhath ur !

Bigtime respects to Bou and Max(!) for their humorous pages.

Well done everyone though. Except Bear.

It looks even worse than I'd thought.  Bollocks.  Ah well, it's only a laugh, eh?  (sobs quietly)
I'd bitch-slap you, Jared, but I fear that the impact would shatter the girly bones of your feeble man-child body, and the fact that everyone can see your contribution quite clearly is punishment enough.

Thanks jared. And Bear: I liked yours alot.

"It looks even worse than I thought."

Oh yes. It's so terrible isn't it? Please comfort me fellow boarders, I who have no confidence in my abilities and lack any self esteem. Tch, artistic ponce.

"the fact that everyone can see your contribution quite clearly is punishment enough"

Hmpf. Shows what you know. Thats art a la Merde. It's all deep and ironic and stuff. Soon everyoune will be drawing wavy lines and crude shapes like that. Even the POPE!

Actually Jared, your shows a large amount of improvement on the work you've posted before, whereas the bear has earned himself an invite for Futurequake in the new year.

Bolt-01

I notice Jared doesn't even DARE draw attention to the threat of a bitch-slap - I have but to wave my hand in the air, and in a week's time, the slight breeze created by the movement of my hand through the air will have travelled from where I now sit and impact upon his paper-like frame, crushing him like some elaborate, ass-faced origami structure.
Beware the bear, man-boy!

Bear:

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope.

The threat of being slapped has got me mightily frightened indeed Bear! Do you also intend to pull my hair and scrape me with your fingernails?

Anyway, lets not go off-topic again or we'll get in trouble with Shakara...

Bolt:

Many thanks, although improving on my previous "artwork" is no great achievement. ;)

You've got me quaking in my boots, you bog-trotting bitch.

Oh wait, that's the tummy-bug that has dragged me from the pub on New Year's F*CKING Eve!  GRRRRR!



































The sad thing is, I'm not even joking.

Top laughs from Demon Chicken and Bear there.

i have just enjoyed this for the first time.

a brillant,often very good art, witty and very enjoyable thread.
all involved first class stuff.

this is the webs finest place.

Absolute class!

There's no end of fun and death there. Well done to all, except Jared and his bizarre triangle.

He shows no respect.

- Trout

Trout, next time could my reward for some nefarious deed be boos? Cause that is truly evil