You say the following line shows my bad dialogue:
Dredd:
I'm sure you do Leach. No harm checking though, is
there?
Imagine if on screen, it was like this:
Dredd:
I'm sure you do Leach. No harm checking,
(As Dredd looks menacingly into Leech's face)
....is there?
You see, it's also how the line is said. What is implied. Just because you think Dredd says too many words in a sentence doesn't make it bad dialogue.
So frankly Milo, you talk absolute shit.
scojo
I'm off to be now, just thought I'd post this again without the word "though" which I put in the first post!
GOOD NIGHT.
scojo
You say the following line shows my bad dialogue:
Dredd:
I'm sure you do Leech. No harm checking, is
there?
Imagine if on screen, it was like this:
Dredd:
I'm sure you do Leech. No harm checking,
(As Dredd looks menacingly into Leech's face)
....is there?
You see, it's also how the line is said. What is implied. Just because you think Dredd says too many words in a sentence doesn't make it bad dialogue.
So frankly Milo, you talk absolute shit.
scojo
I can't believe I am trying to justify such lines here. And to of all people - Milo!
Geez, I need to get me a life.
And I need to stop posting here.
Goodnight and may your shooshi go with you.
scojo
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For gawds sake. Scojo goes on, he annoys someone, they provoke him back, more posts, more gibberish,
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH
I will go to sleep tonight praying that you are all eaten by lizards. Small spiteful ones that go for the soft parts.
Still in the bloody UK, and still listening to this shit... :-(
Scojo - if I read Milo's comments correctly, he was telling you that your Dredd didn't sound authentic. Whether the dialogue in question is good or not is neither here nor there.
Take this line from Sin City:
DREDD -- THINK AGAIN! I WON'T BE PART OF THIS."
You could take the content of this line (Dredd making plain his refusal to play along with Hershey's scheme) and rewrite it as something more like:
DREDD -- I'M NOT GOING TO BE A PART OF THIS BARBARA - FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO PLAY YOUR GAMES!
Same basic content, but a different voice. It just doesn't sound like Dredd - doesn't matter whether it's good dialogue. Would Dredd ever call Hershey by first name in private, let alone in an official situation? Doesn't the second part of the line sound slightly petulant - is that something you see in Dredd?
I blame Atavar for all this cussing.
Scojo, are you even the slightest bit capable of taking even a little constructive criticism?
Because if you aren't, you're never going to realise your dream of being a writer, mate.
Remember the "8" key and the "SHIFT" key?
USE 'EM!
Less of this foul language - especially in the message title!
Some people I don'tknowwhattheworldiscomingtothesedaysmumblemumblegrumble.......busesaren'twhattheyusedtobecan'tuseshillingsanymore....
But Blackblood, my Dredd doesn't say such a line. He shows no petulance in my script.
Besides for every line you think proves my Dredd to be long winded, I can give an example to the contrary:
Here are some:
Dredd:
Just another perp to me.
Dredd:
Can't see its appeal myself.
Dredd:
You want Vega dead or alive?
Dredd:
Probably not. But you can try to convince sjs. Take him away.
There are LOADS MORE examples.
See what I mean?
In my script Dredd, in the main, speaks in short sentences. Only the exposition ones are longer.
That's why I disagree so vehemently with this "Dredd speaks clunky" stuff. 90% of the time he doesn't!
scojo
This has been bugging me for some time Scojo; are you Gerry Finlay-Day?