I've written it on my shin. It will guard me against evil spirits.
Which reminds me, I've just watched the conan DVD. Great stuff, blood spurting everywhere, a man with a big hammer, Arnie saying 'crom' a lot.
Can't wait to watch the commentary!
Cheers
PVS
(Worshipper of Crom!)
CROM! was that the first or second conan movie?
note: the second one is distinguishable from the first in that the cute blonde chick who played Arnold's big sister in "the wonder years" appears as a princess wearing a flimsy skirt and no knickers.
Frazer
Ah the first one, the second was a bit of a shame, but fun in parts. Pat Roach in a lizard outfit doesn't really compare to James Earl Jones' Thulsa Doom Snake Demi-God.
It also has this great line where JEJ calls arnie his son and asks him to join him and rules his empire. Hmmm....
Anyway on the DVD I saw loads of stuff I missed on video, such as arnie punting a rat across the room with his boot.
Yeah, I remember the princess, I prefer Valaria in the first one.
Oh and I want a Mountain of Doom for Christmas with all the 'accesories'
Cheers
PVS
(If I do not know the riddle of steel when I go to Valhalla, Crom will throw me aside and laugh at me)
(That's a bit harsh I reckon)
Don't talk to me about shins.
Sorry Mr Whit, jolly insensitive of me.
But at least I never brought up the subject of the w*nder y**rs.
The second one was a massive laugh... and was actually more like what Robert Howard actuall wrote, though. It was pulpy, low budget, camp. Great fun.
"Conan! You have to help her! It's six to one!"
"V'un... two... t'ree... I t'ink you're right..."
>>The second one was a massive laugh... and was actually more like what Robert Howard actuall wrote, though. It was pulpy, low budget, camp. Great fun.>>
Disagree completely, I'm afraid. Some of Howard's imitators and successors may have written their Conan stories as camp pulp - Lin Carter and L. Sprague de Camp (appropriately...)come to mind, but Howard himself was 100% serious about his work.
Read some of the very best original Howard stories - esp. stuff like The Frost Giant's Daughter, Rogues in the House, The People of the Black Circle etc - and compare it to the pastiche stuff by other lesser authors. Howard writes it straight, while the others go for a bawdy romp, and miss the point entirely.
Conan the Barbarian has its problems, but comes closest to Howard's work. Conan the Destroyer plays like something written by Lin Carter (or even, gawd help us, Roy Thomas...) on a very bad day.
There is a lot of humour in Conan the Barbarian, but at least you get the feeling that the makers took it seriously. Conan the Destroyer was one big joke, ometimes funny, sometimes not.
But by Crom I need to see the rumoured third movie - King Conan and the Throne of Iron.
Funnily enough the writers that followed Lovecraft went on a similar path to those that followed Howard (including Lin Carter), the August Derleth stuff, Brian Lumley (yuk) and even Ramsey Campbells stuff would have filled Lovecraft with a hideous revulsion.
Maybe it's time to dig my Howard Conan books out, I haven't read them since I was about 14.
Kevin the Barbarian:
'Y'know, growing up in '60s Hyperborea isn't without its troubles. I was orphaned at a young age but thankfully the love of a good wench, Red Winnie no less, helped me through those difficult times. . .'
Yep. Derleth introduces 'goodie' Elder Gods, which is in direct contradiction to Lovecraft's whole idea about the universe being a bleak horrible place where humanity counts for less than nothing.
Lumley goes one big step further, and gives us - I kid you not - Cthulhu's good twin brother who helps people against the dastardly cosmic plans of his evil twin.
It kind of beggars belief, really, just how much Lumley misses the entire point.
"Conan the Barbarian has its problems, but comes closest to Howard's work. Conan the Destroyer plays like something written by Lin Carter (or even, gawd help us, Roy Thomas...) on a very bad day. "
heh. destroyer WAS written by roy thomas:)
Frazer
Really?
Oh lordy.
Ain't it great when you land one bang on target.
I read some Lumley, utter cack of the highest order, but strangely compelling just because it is one of the worst things I've ever read. Like when he suddenly gives Titus Crow and his mate girlfriends so they can be wisked of by a monster to be rescued.
Abart from Derleths Good/Evil and dubious war in the heavens scenarios he also introduced the concept that the gods were all elementals.
I read all about Cthulhu's half sister and the brother who sits on a cushion, his eyes radiating love.
It seems that almost every writer that tried to follow lovecraft is a halfwit.
Derleth also co wrote some Loevcraft stories. i.e. he didn't and just nicked some ideas, typed them up and stuck both their names on it.
I only forgive him because he was one of the early championers of Lovecraft when his work was little published and quite obscure.
Yeah, it's weird that someone can have such respect and devotion to a set of work, yet get it so spectacularly wrong themselves..... I can think of a few examples, immediately!
PS I WANT the Kevin the Barbarian DVD
"What would you do if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and disembowel me?"
Well, yeah, I'm as guilty as any.