2000 AD Online Forum

Yeah that's right you read it properly.  Don't winge about using fucking abusive language.  I know countless others have said it, but the pattern is just too sickening to let go without comment.

Scojo posts worthless, clunky, gobshite of script.  Others politely criticise.  Scojo accuses them of completely missing the point of the story.  He nitpicks, nitpicks nitpicks any responses, as if picking out fucking tiny, insignificant faults somehow eliminates the entire point of the criticism.  Heaven forbid the use of offensive language- being a style over substance man any valid point becomes worthless if it has an insult tacked on.  Scojo then takes up the whole fucking board with his whinings.

I don't know who else I speak for, but Scojo, please FUCK OFF.  I am fed up of having to pore over your constant, self obsessed egotistical, utterly wanky posts to find anything of substance.  If you want others to read your steaming piles of cack that you call scripts, please PAY FOR YOUR OWN FUCKING WEBSITE AND POST THEM THERE.  Do not force your turgid, boring shites of scripts onto those of us with enough brain cells not to want to read them.

Thankyou, and once again, SCOJO FUCK OFF

Now hang on there.

OK. Scojo is incapable of taking criticism.

But that's his loss. He parades his lack of self-awareness in front of us and makes himself look stupid.

But he isn't harming anyone but himself.

He may be a pratt...

but he's OUR pratt.

JJP,

If someone bothered to actually comment ON MORE THAN MY DIALOGUE, I may respect their point of view.

As no one has mentioned my plot, characters, villians, scenes, mood etc, I find this clunky dialogue debate rather tedious.

After all, dialogue alone a good film does not make.
I think a good plot matters too. Something you lot seem to conveniently ignore.

If somebody can post a reason why my script is poor, apart from trivial "change commas etc remove a word from a line"  clunky dialogue, I will go away.

Seeing as no one will talk about my story's plot and whether they actually liked it or not, (YES FOLKS, NO ONE OF YOU HAS SAID SO) I guess I'm staying right here.

scojo

Scojo - I think that at the very least I have made comment on your plot, scenes and mood - nice to see you were paying attention;)  .... but poor dialogue will be a big stumbling block to getting anything else out of the script - if it's hard to read, it's hard to follow.

I dare someone to say they liked or disliked my script.

Go on. Foget the dialogue debate, forget the commas and all the other stuff you go on about, did you or did you not like my script?

Quite a simple question.

So why has no one answered that question?

Who is going to be brave enough to give a yes or no answer?

A reason why would be welcome too.

I'm waiting...

:)

scojo

Am I the only one to find it amusing that ScoJo hasn't noticed that nobody has said they like his script yet.  He keeps asking but fails to take the deafening silence as the form of criticism it so obviously is.

I'm even bored taking the piss out of him now; let's face it, he's giving it away.

Watcher, you didn't say you liked or disliked it.

Imagine a review of a film where all the reviewer does is go on about lines of dialogue and doesn't say whether he/she liked it.

Example:

This film really should have the line:

I'm sure you do Leech. Still, no harm looking.

Instead of:

I'm sure you do Leech. Still no harm looking, is there?

Hmmm, can't remember ever reading a review like that before.

No film review would be like that. Nor a script review. They would comment on all aspects of a script. And they certainly wouldn't make ridiculous comments like the ones you post.

Trivial that's all your suggestions are. Trivial.
Your comments don't have any effect on the plot, pacing, act structure etc. Nothing.

Is a cinema goer going to see a film and say:

Hey this film sucks cos Dredd said:

I'm sure you do Leech. Still, no harm looking, is there?

Instead of:

I'm sure you do Leech. Still, no harm looking.

Of course not.

It's just trivial inconsequential nitpicking from you lot.

scojo

So why don't you put me out of my misery and post your opinion MR TIPS?

Go on. Post it on this thread.

I hate your script because.....

or

I like your script because....

Or are you all going to hide behind this pathetic dialogue excuse and not give me anything else?

Come, on did you like my story? Yes or no?

scojo

Scojo.  

Foolishly, I assumed you wanted helpful feedback on what areas of your script work, and those that don't.  How very silly of me.

Unless my eyes and brain deceive me I put a list of positive and negative things about your script.  Since you are being particularly dense here, it might help if I explain to you that positive means "I like these bits" and negative means "I dont like these bits".  Does that help?

I expect it doesn't, as what you want to hear is an overall review of your 'film'.  Just like you'd get in Empire? Well here goes.


EMPIRE MAG Jul 2004
DREDD RECKONING
"The first thing to strike you about this film is the utterly contrived dialogue, which make any merits the plot might have had over the misjudged Stallone movie of '95 completely irrelevant. It is often hilariously overblown and full of exposition. You can see the actors visibly sweating as they take on such gems as "You have been having a relationship, sexual in nature, with Judge Mario Hortez. And please don't waste our time any further by denying this fact. Perjury is all too common an offence."  An Oscar nomination must surely be forthcoming to Shane Ritchie in the role of 'ahem' Judge Hades for actually being able to commit this line to celluloid!

The plot seems only to exist to move Dredd from one action setpiece to another, and despite its attempts to put on a spectacle, (which all too often descend into farce) never involves us in Dredd's fight to A) stop people eating sugar and B) get them commiting crimes again.  Presumably so he can then arrest them."  

one star.

That is what I truly think you would get if you just shot that script.  I'm not trying to be nasty here, just honest.  If you took peoples advice, and accentuated the positive aspects of your script and worked on the negatives, I'm sure anonymous Empire reviewer could dig out another star or two for you.  But while you refuse to accept that EVERYBODY else has a point, those stars will be staying in the reviewers magical bag of stars I'm afraid.

Well thank you Watcher.

Of course it goes without saying I think you are talking complete **** but hey it's your opinion.

As for the plot exists only to move Dredd from one action setpiece to another, hmmm can't see that at all. Everything in my script has a reason. A cause and effect.

For example Dredd plants a tracer on Leech. Leech goes to his warehouse where sugar is being reined. Judges track Leech to warehouse. Dredd is alerted. Confrontation at warehouse.

All logical chain of events. So to say the plot only serves to move Dredd from one set piece to another is ridiculous.

I could go on about all the other stuff you say but hey as I say you are entilted to your opinion.
Meaningless as it is.:)

scojo

For example Dredd plants a tracer on Leech. Leech goes to his warehouse where sugar is being reined. Judges track Leech to warehouse. Dredd is alerted. Confrontation at warehouse.

Sorry meant refined not reined.


scojo

"You have been having a relationship, sexual in nature, with Judge Mario Hortez. And please don't waste our time any further by denying this fact. Perjury is all too common an offence."

What is so wrong with that line?

If Hades says it in an intimidating fashion, it would work.

I think it's good dialogue.

I don't understand you lot. I really don't. I'm sure if Wagner wrote the same line in 2k, you would accept it.

Oh well...goodbye forever.

BYE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
scojo

>>>I don't understand you lot. I really don't. I'm sure if Wagner wrote the same line in 2k, you would accept it<<<

Yep - you're right. None of the criticism you've had is anything to do with the quality of your writing, it's all because you're not John Wagner.

Crap dialogue? Rubbish! It's only because YOU wrote it - if Wagner had written it, we'd be falling over ourselves to praise him. Don't bother taking constructive criticism onboard, after all, it's OUR fault if we don't like the dialogue.

Typos & grammatical errors? We're just nitpickers! I mean, it's not like you'd need to demonstrate a grasp of English to pursue a career in screenwriting, is it?

Complaints that the script just runs from one setpiece to another? "You are entilted to your opinion. Meaningless as it is."

The screenplay SUCKS, Scojo. There are, however, some interesting ideas in there - and you've got to start somewhere. Experienced writers & board members have offered you their advice on where the script falls down & shown you how to fix it.
You've resolutely refused to take it on board & have shown complete contempt for the people who've taken the time to give you a few pointers.
If you can't, or won't, see what is wrong with your script, then good luck getting a job writing - you're going to need it.

Yup.
I got |-----| that close to actually reading the blummin' thing but your stupid stance & attitude has put me off.
If Rebellion announce the new films are scripted by Scott "Scojo" Nestel then I won't be going to see them.

At risk of raising comtempt for myself, but to be honest, I read the first couple of pages and quite enjoyed it. I wasn't looking at it from a writers point of view, just a readers point of view. Tried to picture the stuff going on and I thought it was fine, nothing special, but how much Dredd is these days? It did bring up one big thing missing from the first film, which was the roads, the huge roads, you know, the really big ones!! Dredds bike going faster than your average lawnmower like it did in the film. So there you go, I'm not offering any critisism, cos I don't like looking at things like that. As for the dialogue, I didn't really notice, apart from the odd bit which would obviously change in a later draft. First 2 pages, 6 out of 10 Scojo! In other words, better than some Dredd stories I've read over the years.

Your attitude has put me off reading your script.  

Sorry, but that's the way the world works sometimes - you may be a brilliant scriptwriter but I, and millions others, may never know because your petulant, childish behaviour makes me think that the script may be just as childish.  

Here's a tip: Come back onto the board anonymously as a nice person with a suitable pseudonym and you may get more people to consider your work.

Hi!
My name is Ojocs!
First time poster - long time lurker!!!!!

Here - why not read my script?
Read it NOW!!

Why aren't you reading it?????

What do you mean I before E except after C??
How do you idiots spell HEIGHT then?  Hey? Hey?

Scojo,

you rightly bemoan the fact people have focused primarily on your dialogue, although I'm hardly surprised by this. Had a synopsis been provided then a better evaluation of plot and structure might have been forthcoming. If the dialogue is as bad as people think then it becomes all the more dificult to see beyond it, especially in something in which dialogue is so prevalent.

It's really quite inexcusable your not supplying a synopsis regardless of what you might think and say. How can those of us who aren't biased against you offer a fair opinion when you're not giving us a fair chance to do so in the first place?

Not that it matters now. Unfortunately, I think you've alienated a good few people who were more than prepared to give you a chance.

Which is a shame.

Scojo,

you rightly bemoan the fact people have focused primarily on your dialogue, although I'm hardly surprised by this. Had a synopsis been provided then a better evaluation of plot and structure might have been forthcoming. If the dialogue is as bad as people think then it becomes all the more dificult to see beyond it, especially in something in which dialogue is so prevalent.

It's really quite inexcusable your not supplying a synopsis regardless of what you might think and say. How can those of us who aren't biased against you offer a fair opinion when you're not giving us a fair chance to do so in the first place?

Not that it matters now. Unfortunately, I think you've alienated a good few people who were more than prepared to give you a chance.

Which is a shame.

Mrwhit,
At the risk or repeating myslef, I don't agree with this "my dialogue is bad" line. Sorry, I really, really don't. If you read my "Watcher, why you are so wrong" thread, you can see why I do have some justification.

Maybe you would read that thread. Hand on heart, does Watcher's line sound better than mine?

Is it more threatening? Is the line better suited to the context of the scene?

Of course it isn't.

So as I say, this bad dialogue stuff really doesn't wash with me. Maybe some lines are expostional. I agree. But there has to be some in a dredd script. And Wagner DID the same in the first part of Sin City at the judge meeting. Read it again. See?

So if you lot are gonna condemn me, why not John as well?

So these criticisms are unfair.

With respect MrWhit, your synopsis point is invalid. Jason K wanted to read my script. He never asked for a synopsis. So I never wrote one.
So why put one up on the site?


scojo



 

Well he said he would read it anyway!!!

scojo who can't type the word " myself"

Sorry, Scoje. I stuck up for you when people wanted you banned. I was even slightly disapointed when you said you'd gone for good.

But give it a break. We're the people who read comics and watch films. We know what we like, and we know what's utter bollox. Sometimes some people like something, others don't, but this isn't one of those times. Everybody here except you realises that you can't write believable dialogue to save your life. I don't care how good the plot is, that still makes it a straight-to-video piece of low-budget junk should it ever get off a layout board. Personally, I think any producer worthy of the name would never let it get that far.

Having said that, there've been worse films made, so you're in with an outside shot. Then again, you've a chance at winning the lottery, too...

>I dare someone to say they liked or disliked my script.

You 'dare' them, now that sounds like fighting talk 8-)

>Go on. Foget the dialogue debate, forget the commas and all the other stuff you go on about, did you or did you not like my script?
>Quite a simple question.
>So why has no one answered that question?

It seems as if you've turned it into 'not a simple question'. You asked for criticism and that?s what you got, and the first thing people who actually read your script criticised was the dialogue, which for a story you want to be turned into a movie is probably one of the most important things.
You've had fans and pro's answer the question, but the trouble is you didn't like the answers you received, and in typical Scojo fashion told everyone that they didn't understand and then spent many a post pointing out how 'they' were wrong, instead of taking the points on board. If you disagree with them or think you know better then disregard their comments but don't throw your teddy in the corner and start having a go at people because you don't perceive them to be as clever as yourself. I've always believed that if you have to explain things to people then no matter what your perception is the point wasn't made clear enough, and on many occasions you've told people why they didn't understand your script and have then explained it to them.

>Who is going to be brave enough to give a yes or no answer?
>A reason why would be welcome too.

I believed that people had given you valid reasons for both but why should anyone take the time to do such a thing and read 122 pages if they know that the mighty Scojo is more than likely going to point out to them how stupid and inept they are if god forbid they find fault with it or make what they perceive as valid comments about it.

>I'm waiting...

But what is it you are waiting for? It certainly doesn't look like criticism as you've got that in spades but have chosen to ignore it and criticise the people who have spent their time to be constructive about your script.
So maybe its adulation you're truly after? You want people to say how good the story is, how sparkling and witty the dialogue and that your story deserves to be made into the next Judge Dredd film. Then once you have that you can proclaim yourself in Jim Cameron style "King Of The Board"
If it truly is adulation and respect you want then stop having a go at people who spend their time trying to help you, if it truly is criticism and help you are seeking then take it, bite your lip if you don't like it, but take it on board.

I haven't read the script and probably never will, not because I dislike you or at times think you act like a twat, but because after seeing your posts and tantrums why would I want to bother when so many others have tried to offer their assistance only to receive the typical I'm right and the rest of the world is wrong kind of post.

La Placa Rifa,
W. R. Logan.

Link: Class Of '79

Logan,
Hi.

Sorry for being a moo. My bark is worse than my bite.

Woof woof.

See what I mean?


I've calmed down now. I guess when people say this line should be said in this way, deep down I feel I know why my characters say what they say.

Look at it this way.
Say you are a writer and maybe you write a Dredd script. Be it for film, audio or comic.

The final scene has Dredd about to kill a perp. This perp is the most evil guy who has ever lived. Real bad dude. Think traffic warden type and you got it.

Anyway perp is trapped. He can either give himself up or jump to his death from some block roof.

Perp decides to jump. He's dead.

A judge says:
I never thought he'd jump Dredd.

Dredd says:
He chose the coward's way. Fitting.

Now Dredd is saying the perp was a coward and deserved a cowardly death.

Now some guy comes on the board and says that last Dredd line sucks. It should be:

Dredd:
That meathead got what he deserved.

You see that isn't what you, as the writer, meant Dredd to say. This new line has no mention that the perp was a coward.

Some person has suggested a line which is completely inappropriate.

That is why I keep arguing. Cos everytime you change the dialogue, you change the meaning. The scene changes as well.

If John Wagner had a similar line, and you said change it, he would probably feel the same way.

I hope you can understand what I am saying.

scojo

WOW this thread is a good read indeed!! Scojo is obviusly losing here, lets see whats going to happen next... Hey this thread is actually more interesting than the script, maybe this should be the film. Writer drafts a script and fails to see its flaws, he calls the opinions of others complete shit and turns into a dribbling neurotic, now theres a story for ya!

Try reading the thread with Scojo killfiled. Its a quicker read, wittier and more fun. Scojo can't write for toffee and you can always figure out what the little shit has said from the replies, in a similar way to figuring out what Sooty or Sweep has said to Matthew from his replies.

Gets repetitive fast though.

>in a similar way to figuring out what Sooty or Sweep has said to Matthew from his replies.

wow!!! sooty & sweep! NOW this thread is starting to get interesting!

does anyone else think that marvel's 'nuff said event from last december was inspired by the sootster?

i've wet my knickers!
steven l'enfant terrible

I`d happily read the script if I could find it.  Is there a web-site for it?
 In general, I think you shouldn`t be so thin-skinned if you`re going to put your script on the web-site like this.  Take it on the chin!  That`s what Dredd would do.

yours knowing you can never really have the last word

Then again, would Dredd have written a film script?

RL