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This thread contains BIG BROTHER stuff.  There are loads of other threads - go look at one of them if you're not interested in or watching BIG BROTHER.  








And to anyone else watching the show can I just say...

Race War?  WTF?????

How the hell did this all kick off?  Did the producers mean to divide the house on racial lines?

Again I say: WTF?????

Thank god!

Someone on the board I can yak about BB to.

The race thing is a fabrication created to spark more interest in the programme.

Saskia out!!!!

This is the best series of BB.  I hate myself for watching it, but it is compulsive.

I know it's all biased due to the way it's edited, but I REALLY dislike lots of these people.  And, I've never seen a program split up into ethnic groups like this before...bizzare.

Derek is a liar...several times he's blatantly lied and then denied it...and then takes the moral high ground...damn that 'man' winds me up.  If he really writes speaches for the conservative party, God help em.

I have spares if you need 'em, tweak:

Adherent, I'm totally with you there. I haven't watched more than a few hours of this series, and maybe I glimpsed a bit of the eviction of Sam (only long enough to see Davina McCall in a bikini) and then 3 minutes of Roberto's eviction.

Then I put it on the other night to see Makosi coming out of the diary room needing the lavatory, apparently having consumed 6 cans of cider.

"Hello", I though "how come the Big Brother house now seems to be divided along racial lines?"

That being the case I would like to see the contestants now leave in the order Saskia, Maxwell, followed by Derek, Craig and Anthony in equal third place.

Then weirdest of the weird, I watched BBC Breakfast news the next morning to see Trevor Philips come in for an item about the racial dimension in Big Brother, and the story was about how it's good for race relations, not the fight of the night before. I was a bit confused, and as I was getting ready for work I didn't see the whole of the item.

Maybe I should have watched Big Brother last night too?

I am speaking to you now from inside my highly amusing radiation suit (replete with false boobies and a very modern cod-piece):



This is to protect me from tweak as I say:

There is no race war.  The vain young white boy wants to shag the black princess with the afro wig, whilst also hating Science, the loud obnoxious black rebel without a clue.

The posh black tory hates Science so much that he said he was tempted to join the BNP.

Science hates everyone, except he doesn't, except he does:  all this dependant on which way the wind is blowing and not on skin pigmentation.

Everyone hates the posh black tory, due mainly to his poshness, overbearing attempts at authority and the fact that he calls them all peasants.

Everyone hates Saskia and her slave-boy because they're having some form of mutual sexual gratification:  this is jealousy, and nothing to do with his hairy white arse poking out of the duvet covers as the sound of a rapidly moving hand are clearly heard through their genital-microphones.

And so on...for weeks...every year...Tweak!  Tweak!  Help meeeeeee!

Thanks for filling me in on what I've been missing, Fate.

And now it seems they've added two more contestants, both white, who haven't cosied straight up to Saskia and Maxwell?

I wonder what it is about Saskia that makes people dislike her so?

I'm not an ardent follower of the Big Brother meme, so I'm not fully in the picture, but I didn't like her video introduction on the opening night ("ugly people make me sad; strife in other countries isn't our problem - alright maybe we should just give them some money or something and let them get on with it"). Since then her main saving grace seems to be not having been as obnoxious as Lesley. Now I've seen her screaming herself hoarse at Makosi, but I didn't see the weeks of mutual hostility that led up to the event.

Saskia has become "queen of the house", by being attractive, mainly.  She is resented because the crowd cheered her and boo'd everyone else weeks ago.  Since then, her obvious power has bred resentment from the other housemates and, this week, has backfired on her.

It is true that she spends most of her time being worshipped by her man-slave (Maxwell), his sidekick (vain white boy)and her court jester (the highly vulgar obnoxious self-obsessed hairdresser with bad hair).

You'll notice that no women are included amongst her friends.  This has led to a matriarchy forming amongst the 2nd group of housemates, consisting of the black princess, the incredibly camp seneschal, the glyph-like other woman and ... erm ... oh, they're all blending into one now.

Anyway, this all resulted in Saskia and Maxwell being up for nomination this week:  on hearing the news, Saskia proved exactly how shallow she is be pointing out that "people that leave this early don't get remembered".  She's in it for what she can get out of it.  

Interesting that, upon realising that she was up for eviction, she chose that evening to finally give in to her man-slaves lustful desires, whereas before she was content to keep him at a distance.  Trying to garner fame / votes?

One thing's for sure, it's not love.  She gave him a hand job on the couch and when she'd finished (and he'd 'finished') she said "right - you can bugger off now", which (surely) is the equivalent of post-coital rolling over and starting to fart.

Quite how I know all this without having watched a single second of the show...

"Saskia has become "queen of the house", by being attractive, main."

My arse.

She's foul, big titted onnoxious slag, she's not pretty at ALL.

...now where's mi fukin handbag?

But if you had to be involved with any of them....

Maybe its the female equivalent of who's got the biggest knob. The women are resentful becuase she has a greater bust size and they think men are so-oo shallow that breast size is all we look for.

It's not all we look for, it just tends to be one of the first!

See, by being inattentive and just not taking enough of interest in this viewing phenomenon, I completely missed what Sam did that got her chucked out. I still don't know why she was so objectionable. I know Lesley had it in for her, she was fond of parading around in a bikini, and she couldn't sing and had a stupid laugh, but I missed anything she said or did that had people snapping at her at the dinner table and jumping down her throat at the slightest provocation.

Where did Sam go wrong?

One thing's for sure, it's not love

Damn right - he hasn't even taken her out yet.

M@

Usher, she was initially quiet and withdrawn.  By not joining in immediately, the rest of them (pretty much definitions of outgoing) decided that she was not "one of them" and "too boring".

Lesley bullied her by hiding her make-up.  She tried it on strong with a couple of the housemates (varying sexes) but got knock-backs (perhaps because she was too full-on).

If being slightly introverted and enjoying sex with a variety of partners is a crime, well...

Bah. I'm missing it ALL.

Would it make you feel more comfortable if some twat starts another ten BB threads on the board, like they did 2 years ago? ;)

Not really.

Judge Tweak 72: "Gunton - Report TAD Status!"
Judge Guton: "Ninty Plus TBBADS Available."
Judge Tweak 72: "INTIATING LAUNCH CODE - TWO FIVE TBBADS!"

The devistating nuclear conflict between BIG BROTHER SUCKS CITY ONE and NO IT DONT MEG has reached its its enevitable crunch point. The BROTHER SUCKS CITY is forced to use its ULTIMATE ultimate deterrent TBBADS, TOTAL BIG BROTHER ANNIHILATION DEVICES, Each one capible of wiping out the crap TV loving gits out twice over (AND IM TALKING TO YOU TOO FATE) BROTHER SUCKS CITY has launched 25 of them...
But the BB loving cheating gits got a second hand warp force field from some Sov armes sellers and as the missiles strick they wink out of existance
to reapeer in another dimention...Another earth where big brothe hasnt been aired for a thousand years.
the gental inhabitence of this idyllic world have no conseption of the holocaust to befall them -
the experiance can only be described as -

EARTH SHATTERING

Judge Tweak 72: "Gunton - Report TAD Status!"
Judge Guton: "Ninety plus TBBADS Available."
Judge Tweak 72: "INTIATING LAUNCH CODE - TWO FIVE TBBADS!"

The devastating nuclear conflict between BIG BROTHER SUCKS CITY ONE and NO IT DONT MEG has reached its its inevitable crunch point. The BROTHER SUCKS CITY is forced to use its ULTIMATE ultimate deterrent TBBADS, TOTAL BIG BROTHER ANNIHILATION DEVICES, Each one capable of wiping out the crap TV loving gits out twice over (AND IM TALKING TO YOU TOO FATE) BROTHER SUCKS CITY has launched 25 of them...
But the BB loving cheating gits got a second hand warp force field from some Sov arms sellers and as the missiles strike they wink out of existence
To reappear in another dimension...Another earth where big brother hasn?t been aired for a thousand years.
The gentle inhabitence of this idyllic world have no conception of the holocaust to befall them -
The experience can only be described as -

EARTH SHATTERING

for some reason that should of only happened once but then my work comp adds stuff when i havent oh well

Guh. I just watched this, and I feel soiled...

Jay will be proud of me:

I'm so disinterested in BB i don't even know what chanel or time it is on, nor the contestants' names

>Would it make you feel more comfortable if some twat starts another ten BB threads on the board, like they did 2 years ago? ;)

The pain is still there isnt it... ;-)

I've manfully resisted so far... bar a few minutes by accident. It's utterly hateful.

The idea of this thread is to provide a space for those of us who do watch big Brother to talk about it.

I thought calling it "If you don't like Big Brother, you won't like this thread" would be a nice, easy way to warn off people who are attacking a show they aren't even watching.  Clearly I was being too subtle.



Anyway, is there any way to kick racist fuckhead Maxwell and racist fuckhead Saskia out at the same time?  Oh, for the good old days of petrolbombing...

Can I post if I'm watching it occasionally, even if I think virtually everyone on it is loathsome?

Max: That would be Chanel No. 4

Hell, yeah.  The 2-second rant was just cos it's a bit annoying having people try to force you to stop talking about something.

Out of all the housemates, I only like Makosi, myself.

This aggression from Mega-Tweaky One will not stand!  Launch retaliatory strike!

Mm. I'm quite taken with Makosi, if only because she seems to be the only relatively decent person in there. Science - who I've no doubt I would find unbearable in real life - has earned a spot of respect for his constant assaults on Maxwell.

Maxwell himself just disgusts me. Watching him capering around like an ape talking about Makosi "fingering herself" was quite possibly one of the most awful TV moments this year, only topped by his "seduction" of the equally-repellent Saskia.

Eugene is engaging, if only for his brutal honesty about himself and his unashamed geekiness.

The scrawny little hairdresser and the thick Geordie seem to be having some kind of unconsumnated gay relationship, all wrestling and bravado one minute, back rubs and cosy chats the next. If it wasn't for the fact that they're both so painfully annoying (especially the bullying little shit with the crap hair) it would be quite interesting to see what happens there.

My sister's views on the new girl:

"She keeps showing everybody her tits because she's got a face like a horse's arse."

Hmmm. But she hasn't, has she?

:: Hmmm. But she hasn't, has she?

Well, I'm no expert on horse's arses, despite any rumours to the contrary.  She's not my cup of tea, but then, as a mere silhouette, who am I to judge?

jaykers, Big Borther just got interesting, a slideshow no less

Link: tits oot in hope of tv career

I've just been sent a rather beautiful snippet of dialogue between two of the housemates:

Science - "Why was you not who you was when you were with Lesley? I preferred you when you was before.  You defended me when you was being that, which you were before."

Craig - "I can be perceived as false, but at the end of the day, when you come into an environment like this things change."

Science - "I don't agree to disagree, there is one aim and one destiny".

Craig - "We've become very defensive of each other But I hold you with no remorse."

Science - "I'm taking you from how you are now. At end of the day I dislike you more now than I would before.  If that was you then and this is you now, who are you?"

Craig - "I'm 20 years old, I do not know who I am at the moment myself."

Good God - that just reads like Engrish (badly translated English found on Japanese advertising, magazines etc.)

Watched it again last night to see Kemal (sp?) telling Saskia she was "after a magazine deal", and Maxwell threatening Kemal (in a typical bullying wanker fashion). I hope the vote is split 50/50 and the pair of scummy bottom-feeders get booted (preferably Who-style - "I pulped, sifted and purged Maxwell...")

The problem Science has is this:  he recognises complete twats quite easily, but then, instead of just killing them, he talks to them.

Craig has the most irritating voice and his "at the end of the day-ayyyyyyyy" catchphrase makes me cringe.  Oh, how I wish he would spontaneously combust.

I did watch this last night, because a) I felt I had some catching up to do, and b) I'd had a preview of the evening's ructions from looking up the Big Brother website.

Saskia and Maxwell - weren't they awful? I was surprised to see Kemal return to bed after the water had been thrown over it, especially given the hostility of the two in the bed next door.

Saskia telling Kemal not to talk to her, and going on and on at Kemal about what a wanker he was and how she didn't want him to talk to her, as if she was trying to keep the thing going.

I liked the bit where Derek refused to put up with Science dictating terms over roles in the task, and then took him to one side and gave him a lecture like he was Science's dad or teacher, and Science just sat there and took it! Great stuff.

I don't think there's enough going on to sustain my interest on a daily basis though.

By the way, what was this task Vanessa refused to take part in, and why wouldn't she play?

Amstor - you missed out the best bit - Saskia and Maxwell were getting it on under the covers, and the noise of their smooching was evidently keeping Kermal awake:

Kermal:  "When will this ordeal end?  I'm sure you've got your magazine deal by now."

[After a heated exchange, Maxwell pours a glass of water over Kermal.]

Kermal:  "Well, at least someone's got wet tonight.  I know Saskia hasn't."

Kermal 1  Maxwell 0

-- I liked the bit where Derek refused to put up with Science dictating terms over roles in the task

Yes, that was a good section. Derek actually sounded like a decent person in that section, and you felt that he had at least some affection for Science. Science's reaction suggested that he was open to what Derek was telling him, and willing to understand why he was so annoyed at him. I'm sure it will all be wiped away in another tide of hideousness, but for a few minutes at least, it was quite touching.

If I was unlucky enough to be in that house, I think I'd have to punch Science in the mouth.  Actually, I'd probably want to punch most of them in the mouth, but Science is probably the only one that would annoy me to the point of actual violence.

Can I say that?  Does it instantly become a race thing?

Pffft...

I only watched about 3 minutes last night, but from what I could tell, was everyone shagging everyone else or what?

Dudley - yes, I think so.

{Mental note to self:  try not to get on wrong side of JEB...tendency to want to beat everyone up apparent.}

{Addendum pudendum:  damn, I've probably just failed.}

{PS:  I only say that because 50% of your posts involve beating people up.}

{Footnote: although 50% is probably completely wrong and should be taken as a metaphorical value.}

{NB:  rest assured, after this post, I'll just go and beat myself up - so no need for anyone else to bother.}

Tweak - have you any nukes left?

One Episode... and I'm addicted again. Every year it happens. I'm not gonna watch, oh no... who are these people everyone's talking about?... a few minutes won't hurt... addicted.

Is that Eugene one retarded or just some ultra-nerd?

It is amazing that they have managed to find a group of individuals where not one is likeable or sympathetic in anyway.

Not so!  I am a gentle soul- but I might have to beat you up for your cheek now...

The current issue of Private Eye picked up the irony I mentioned earlier.

"...presenting the Campaign for Racial Equality's 'Race in Media' awards, chairman Trevor Phillips praised the Channel 4 reality show as 'a chance for people to encounter people from other ethnic groups they would never meet in their everyday lives', and pointed out that 'most encouragingly... they seem completely uninfluenced by issues of race and ethnicity in deciding who they want to chuck out or keep in.'"

"With perfect timing, Phillips made his speech on the very night the housemates, who had split completely along racial lines, had their most furious argument yet, with the ringleader of the white gang (who have comandeered the house's living room) telling one of the black group (who confine themselves to the kitchen) that her afro hair was "a fucking wig", she "smelled of dogshit" and that "you've got a chip on your shoulder, people like you always do". Evicted last week, however, white Saskia clarified her position on the matter - her objection to the other housemates was "not about colour", it was simply that they were "a bunch of bloody monkeys".

Whilst I might quibble over some of the details, I can't dispute the main thrust of Private Eye's argument.

Still at least it seems they're all happy now, and it looks like Maxwell and Science have both been nominated for eviction for no more sinister reason than they are both arseholes.

It would seem that all the housemates are insane.

Today's example is Mikose:  she's had unprotected sex and assumes she's pregnant so she goes into the diary room and says "I'm going to have the baby, but I'm never going to tell the father".  At that point it cut away to another scene, presumably because Big Brother was asking "What colour is the sky in your planet?"

After presumably being informed of exactly how f*cking stupid she was being, in the next scene she is discussing taking the morning after pill:  surely a better approach to the situation of having drunkenly shagged a randy pretty boy in a jacuzzi without any kind of contraception than day-dreaming of the fictional joys of single-parenthood.

I think I just pissed me pants laughing at that one...

Link: Eugene to win!

this isnt any good for the enviroment you know
:P

why'd they have to stick it between the two lost Eps? I had on mute the whole time, but it still ment that BB had an extra viewing figure it didn't diserve