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I think Kinga really has made quite the impact in the Big Brother house.

Especially the lawn!

I can't believe they showed that.

Just wait for a Channel 4 camera crew flogging the tapes on Ebay!

Quite the most cringeworthy, unpleasant few minutes of my life.

Does that - plus the disturbing, borderline-mental-illness behaviour being exhibited by Craig mean that BB has finally jumped the shark? His creepy, manipulative behaviour, the whole wrong-wrong-wrong incident with drunken Anthony and his sheer viciousness - does anyone actually like watching him?

what happened?

Max

Kinga - reintroduced female housemate - was either drunk, or high off being put back in the house, and in a general fit of exhibitionism apparently stuffed a bottle of wine up her vagina in front of two horrified housemates.

Actually, take that back - one horrified housemate (Anthony) and one shit-stirring little psycho, who'd essentially egged her on to do it in the first place (Craig).

She needs some special 'Attention Seeker of the Millenium' Award

Almost makes you yearn for the innocence of last year (That geordie bint and chicken-stew have just split up btw)

And Craig wants gasing

Not that I watch it or anything.

That was one of the most bizarre bits of telly I've seen in months. I've only been watching it to see exhbitionists to head f*cked and tonight's was a doozy.

First off Eugene trying to 'destroy' Craig by offering to sew a button on Anferney's shorts. (Creepy SWF vibe here - think he needs actual help).


Then Kinga being dined then wined. I think Anthony's face at the end said it all - horrified fascination.


It's odd that when I saw the latest news about a plane crash I had to turn to reality TV for some escapism.

all the way up? tell me the details, what make, year? What size was the bottle?

Well, it keeps her off the streets, doesn't it?

I was worrying about my tv not working properly before I read this thread......

how big was the bottle,and does anyone think that ch4 will put that whole episode on the final clip show,and will they auction off the bottle on e-bay? :D

Fuckin' hell, Did the pickup and the trailer fit up there to?

Funnily enough I thought the plane crash was the very definition of escapism.

ADE

At the time it looked like there was going to be  hefty death toll.

Very pleased to find out they've all survived.

Going back to Kinga, which I'd rather not at this hour in the morning.

Isn't there a danger of the bottle creating a vacuum & getting stuck or is that just an urban myth perpetuated by late night a & e nurses?

Jesus.  Can't believe I turned this off.  Why sit through the whole series and miss its crowning moment?

I knew a girl we called J.D because of her habit of ..er..pleasuring herself, publicly, with a Jack Daniels bottle- the SQUARE end!

And I thought a "wine lover" simply enjoyed the odd glass...!

M@

Remember - the best way to tell the quality of a bottle of wine is to sniff the cork.

>Fuckin' hell, Did the pickup and the trailer fit up there to?

Sideways...

Matthew -

Snopes says the whole bottle/wanking/vacuum/casualty thing is an urban legend.  But do check the "rectal foreign bodies" link at the bottom (ahem) of the page.

Link: http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/bottle.asp

>sigh<  What ever happened to those sweet children that Tharg raised, hmmm?  Where are your Space Fortesses now, swapped for JD bottles and rectums, eh?  I weep for you all,  Good day, sirs.  


Damn, missed it.

as a nurse of ten years on a colorectal ward
i could tell you many a story.

Go on, then.

get one or two a year,mainly men.the last one i got was a man in mid 30,s with a can stuck in his rectum. i work on a surgical admissions unit.
when news get s aroundhospital you get drs from every where to look at xrays etc.
any way this guy walks in with can up arse ,reading d telegraph.i put my straightest face on,an admit him to ward,prep him for theatre,consented for removal of f.b from rectum +/- stoma.
about to go to theatre when wife turns up(bit of a fool to tell her where he is if you ask me.)
"whats wrong with him"
"sorry i cant tell you that youll have to ask him"
anyway leave the happy couple for 5 minutes.
when i come back shes in tears.
oh my god hes told her!!!!!
so anyway takes the pt  to theatre.
when i get back the wife wants to speak with me.
what are his chances of survival???
hes told me that hes ruptured his bowel,
just like my mum did last year but she died.
half hour later hes back with can of dove deodorant removed with ease,according to the surgeon dove deodorant has ots of lubricating qualities,needless to say he didnt hang round to collect his property.

Bloody hell!

Thanks, Janus. I'm almost sorry I asked. ;-S

- Trout

She did that on the telly ???

On an edited television programme?

Are Channel 4 going to get in trouble over that?

what other good ones do you have, i could doi with a laugh

On one of his live shows Ricky Gervais tells of a guy who went to Casualty with a bottle of Salad Cream up his bottom. He explained that it got up his arse when returning home from shopping, he discovered he had locked himself out of the house. Climbing up a drainpipe to an open window, he fell off, and landed on said bottle - rectum-first as it were.

This cover story was of course implausible enough, but became totally unbeliveable when they extracted the bottle - and found it had a condom on it.

M@

Typical - blame the bloody patient!!!!

Have you ever read the instructions on these underarm deoderants, eh?

To quote:

"To apply, remove cap and protective sleeve, twist knob and push up bottom."

I mean come on....

I thought it was "push up bottom" and THEN "twist knob"?

from my experience most men will wait up to  4 days before seekin  medical help,after loosin  vibrators up their rectums,
so make sure you dont use long life batteries
is the only advice i can give.

FOUR DAYS!?

yes 4 days
does that seem to long?
think. how am i goin to explain this to the young nurse in a+e.
4 days and the best they can think up is i slipped and fell on it .

Perhaps they're hoping the problem will, er, solve itself?

Does nobody ever come in and say "I was sticking this up my backside for a good wank and it got stuck"?

we have a regular
 ayoung lady who likes inserting light bulbs
where the sun dont shine.
screw or bayonet.

Dudley -

Just checked the rectal foreign bodies link. Then read the story of the chap who used concrete. Then saw the picture.

One helluva paperweight.

It is a pretty hopeless excuse - 'I fell on it'.  I mean, they're going to know exactly what you were doing, so why not just say, 'between you and me...'

Oh, dear God.

Objects reported include stones, coke bottles, plastic vibrators, pencils, sticks, a baseball, knives, screwdrivers, the U-bend of a sink, a sponge rubber ball, glass tumblers, a pickle bottle, and a beer glass.


- Trout

Light bulbs - a bit odd that one. And to become a regular too? Doesn't that automatically qualify her for a psychiatric consultation?

There was an amusing and somewhat excrutiating account of rectal light bulb extraction on the 'Funny Old World' column in Private Eye a few years ago. It was a case documented in the Lancet, if I remember correctly. It was touch and go for a while, but both patient and medical staff wear greatly relieved when the object was finally safely removed.

I remember hearing about the concrete incident on a programme about 100 things stuck in the human body a while back. They didn't really give much detail about how that one was removed without surgery, but congrats to the team that got that one out. They didn't go into whether or not the patient needed treatment for lime burns either.

Is that seperately or all at the same time?

Kinga, earlier today.

I am amazed that there are no pictures of this on the internet yet!

or are there....?

 
I'll see your wine bottle & raise you a live artillery shell!

Crap! No picture.

Hang on....

Got to be link instead.

Link: Live Shell

holy shit

This is the weirdest thread ever

I am amazed that there are no pictures of this on the internet yet!

or are there....?

I can post some if you want, but It's not good

Please do

we're all mature right thinking adults here

we're all mature right thinking adults here

I must be in the wrong place then

(http://www.2fort4.com/celebnews/bb6/bb6_050802/bb6_0207050240.jpg)

Not getting much response - so I'm going to the garden

(http://www.2fort4.com/celebnews/bb6/bb6_050802/bb6_0207050253.jpg)



Funniest reaction shot. Ever.

(http://www.2fort4.com/celebnews/bb6/bb6_050802/bb6_0207050256.jpg)


Remember - you asked for these

AH found a pic

jaykers!!! Must be great crack having a front bottom, imagine all the things you could be putting into your body

sigh

Thank god that didn't work properly. Good bad web fu. If you really want to see them - you can cut and paste.

However I will properly leave you with Anthony's reaction, which says it all

all cut and pasted- what an eejit she is!It's just kind of pathetic and desperate - you'd nearly feel sorry for her

nearly

'nearly' being the operative word here...

Just been sent a link to a video file. I'm posting the link because this has to be seen to be believed.

Long-ish download time though. Once again, be warned.

Link: Off the scale

oh dear

I thought it was funnier when she drew lines on her face with makeup, put her pants on her head, and got put out when no-one really seemed to take any notice.

- Steve

Link: musical version

I still say Craig's worse than Kinga.

He actually appears to be suffering some sort of minor mental breakdown at times.

She's just a silly cow.

- Trout

Thinking about I'm actually worried that Craig is on the verge of some serious break-down. (Though I still hate him)

There's some comment in the Guardian that Makosi (I'm pregnant, not washed hair for 10 weeks, only nominate with eyes close)... might be losing it as well...

With the 'house of obssessive compulsives' (that I've not actually seen), behaps mental illness is the new black or something

The House of Obsessive Compulsives is well worth watching, Gary.

It was very interesting and actually quite sensitive in its portrayal of mental illness. I actually found myself learning something, which, for TV, is pretty amazing.

Big Brother, by contrast, is just a bunch of wankers.

I'm not sure what irritates me more about Craig - the fact that he's a batshit crazy stalker and potential date-rapist, or the fact that he's constantly rooting around his cavernous nostrils for fresh bogies...

Eugene to win.
Anthony to come second.

Kinga, Makosi, Craig and Derek to be sentenced to eternity in each others' company with nobody watching.

So, er, has anybody noticed the startling similarity between Eugene and The Glyph from Halo Jones?

Heh. Apparently, Eugene suffers from Aspergers - possibly explaining some of his behaviour?

Aspergers makes you an attention-seeking twat?  That would explain it, I must admit.

Kinda baffled as to how Eugene is an "attention-seeking twat" - unless you're classing him as a twat just for going on the show?

Yes.  To spend your entire day in front of cameras, being scrutinised...

They're all as guilty as each other - no member of the group can claim to be less mercenary simply beacause he/she isn't as much of an arsehole on camera as the others.
Still compulsive viewing on some deeply wrong level, mind...