The preserved remains of two prehistoric men discovered in an Irish bog have revealed a couple of surprises --- one used hair gel and the other stood 6 foot 6 inches high, the tallest Iron Age body discovered.
"He would have been a giant...the other man was quite short, about 5 foot 2 inches," said Ned Kelly, head of antiquities at the National Museum of Ireland.
"The shorter man appeared to attempt to give himself greater stature by a rather curious headdress
which was a bit like a Mohican-style with the hair gel, which was a resin imported from France," Kelly told BBC radio.
Could this actually be the remains of Slaine and Ukko (not actually a dwarf - just a lot shorter than Slaine)?!?
I liked the last bit which certainly fits in as well.
"Bodies are placed in the borders immediately surrounding royal land or on tribal boundaries to ensure a good yield of corn and milk throughout the reign of the king."
FATC --
...but that would mean Mills would actually have to kill Slaine off...
;-)
Now we just need some archaeologists to unearth a top hat and the remains of a Romany-style carnival wagon to complete the picture...
Wait just one minute - the head of antiques is called Ned Kelly? My god! This is all some kind of bizarre time-travelling conspiracy - and it hasn't even been used as the plot for a Future Shock yet.
It will have been going to have done now.
He's a great bloke, Eamonn 'Ned' Kelly (the Irish Keeper of Antiquities one, that is, not so sure about his namesake). Spent much of the 80's pursuing metal detectorists and treasure hunters around the coast of Ireland in appropriate fashion.
The current bog bodies project itself has been terrific, but the article in Saturday's 'Irish Times' was a bit bizarre. It featured some profoundly divisive notions, including the absurd claim that one of the bodies' fingerprint pattern matched current Irish norms (dodgy science in itself), meaning that the bloke was (and I quote) "One of Our Own" and not some bloody foreigner.
I hate the idea that this man from 2300 years ago is somehow 'Irish' and represents a sort of pure arboriginal celticity that "we Irish" share, unlike all those other blow-in folks, the Vikings, the Normans, St. Patrick, the Scots, the Huguenots and other assorted Prods and Jews, and (lets face it) all those ghastly Eastern Europeans and Muslims that you see everywhere nowadays. Couldn't help but feel that Hitler would have been nodding in agreement over his cornflakes (he didn't just keep archaeologists on teh payroll to find the Spear of Longinus, you know).
Show me a modern 'Irish' person that claims they aren't the descendent of someone who came this island in the last 2000 years, and I'll show you a deluded liar.
Never mind the fact that people had been arriving on this island for more than 8,000 years BEFORE those two poor blokes got done in, so 'who' exactly gets to claim 'First Peoples' bragging rights is up for serious debate. /RANT
AND relax...
It's working on a Sunday that does it, you know.
>I hate the idea that this man from 2300 years ago is somehow 'Irish' and represents a sort of pure arboriginal celticity that "we Irish"
Did he have green trousers and a pig under his arm?
I was going to post a "hey -fuck you" type of response to that, but Snotters, my pig is struggling too much to allow me to type prop;[backslash]df[backslash]scc
damn
i mean
feck