I'm having a crisis of confidence due to some rejections, and I keep reading really good books that I like.
Further dropping me into a "I'm crap" state of mind.
What I need is to read some downright terrible books so I can say to myself, "I'm better than them, and they got published. That means I can too."
So, crap books please.
Books are crap. Write comics.
There's a little-known book called The Davinci Code, or something. Apparently it's about Jesus and the Knights Templar or something, but then again, I might be wrong - as I say, it's very hard to find and no-one's ever heard of it.
But it is crap.
Night Show by Richard Laymon is particularly bad, especially the ending.
the da vinci code is all fiction, unlike the bible
er,hang on !
that fantasy book by the teenager -- Eragon I think it's called.
Currently reading Tom Brown's Schooldays for English, and it's making me lose the will to live. It's such a horrible, patronising book and it's as if Hughes is right there next to you, turning his nose up at the dastardly city-slicker who dares reads his works...
How it even got published, let alone considered a 'classic' is beyond me... Ruddy Victorians.
Any of the more recent Tom Clancy efforts... After the Rainbow one I swore off him for life...
Your confidence will find quite a boost by sampling the "horror" of "Collectives In A Foresaken Landscape" by Nickolaus A. Pacione.
Link: Amazon listing
You know a book's bad when Amazon can't even be bothered to spell the title right.
So who'd win in a fight between Paccione and our Steve?
Your confidence will find quite a boost by sampling the "horror" of "Collectives In A Foresaken Landscape" by Nickolaus A. Pacione
It was boosted by the first line of the excerpt.
And that's his 4th book?
Why do people like this pseudo-intellectual literature stuff?
I like a rollicking good story, I do not want to fish out the dictionary every 3rd word or so.
Almost all of Brian Lumley's Cthulhu efforts are really bad.
"The Witching Hour" by Anne Rice.
Nothing happens, at all, ever in this interminably dull snoozefest of a book which, weighing in at a hefty 400 pages, is quite a feat.
Look, I borrowed ir, OK?
"The Witching Hour" by Anne Rice.
"Lasher" by Rice is also mind blowing in it's crapness. I only made it halfway thorugh before I died of a brain hemmorage.
...er, any of those endless Star Trek books pumped out by, erm, pocketbooks is it? I was on a training course the other week and our trainer- a top psychologist person- was ranting about them. Apparently, Paramount/ Pocketbooks sell the license to whoever wants to fork out the cash and just publish the results- and most of them are written by people with Aspergers Syndrome. Whether that, in itself, makes the very bad indeed, I wouldn't like to say- but on a bit of flicking though (post-course), I was appalled.
But then, I have no interest whatsoever in Star Trek. And 'Aspergers Syndrome' does seem to sum up the whole bloody thing for me.
Anyway- try them. And The DaVinci Code, which is awful, awful toss.
Steev
The prequels to Dune, written by Frank Herbert's money-grabbing son.
Anything by Julie Burchill. I've never read any of them, but it's Burchill. Same goes for that Littlejohn book.
If you really want an ego-boost, read 'Saucer' by Stephen Coontz.
Not only is each character more ridiculous than the last, but it's an SF book written by a man who's clealry never heard of either Science Fiction, Science, or Fiction. The only mystery bigger than how Coontz got it published is how I finished it. And there's a sequel. Hope for us all.
Stephen Baxter's Moonseed, Titan, and the Origins trilogy.
The important thing is to write something that could easily be made into a film so you can sell the rights for bags of cash.
The Rising by Brian Keene.
Not that I'm a published writer or anything, but it reminds me of the stuff I did when I was 12. Only less coherent.
I should add that it was after reading it (okay, the first 50 pages) that I started writing again more than once every 6 months.
Julie Burchill wrote some very good books, particularly 'The Boy Looked at Johnny' and 'Love it or Shove it".
but to your request; anything by Clive Cussler should show you that hard work wins out over talent any time.
Erica Jong's poetry is hilariously bad, give that a whirl (especially if you want to write poetry).
....and Australia's own Tim Winton, despite winning all sorts of awards and being very popular is complete crap. I don't believe you could write worse than he does.
I always thought dean r koonts books were particularly savagely written.Reams of irrelevent psycological insight packing out unoriginal storylines.
if you want to read about what its really like to be a chef and work in kitchens.
as in not the celebrity,all shouty and sweary, but the truth of the SEX, DRUGS AND GREAT FOOD & TRAVEL. then kitchen confidentail is not worth a look.by the now celebrity chef anthony bourdain.
its rather scarry how true to life it is.just a bit too real for most professional cooks to believe he told everyone.
Go into your local supermarket (ASDA, TESCO etc) Go to the book section.
Pick up this weeks No1 internation best seller
(for best results choose an american. For ultimate results choose an american woman)
Pay the ?2.99.
Go home and laugh until you get angry.
for really crap books go for John Norman's Gor series - they get worse as the series progresses.I bought them for the brilliant Boris covers then very quickly got rid of them after reading three.
Ive read some Dan Brown to kill some time. It is pretty funny stuff. He should be writing dialogue for Voice Over Guy wot does movie trailers. Cheesy dialogue interspersed with "research I did" bits. By merit of the sheer dumbness of the prose your eyes fly over it - there is nothing like a challenging word or paragraph in sight. Still, while they lasted I HAD to keep reading.
He will surely spur you on to success...
-hex
Yeah, can i recommend the new Rogue Trooper novel?
Waste of time, cash and blinking...