Pick one thing that makes your life a little more enjoyable, post that thing for the person below to try, and try the thing that's been posted above?!
I'll start with...houmous in a chicken/doner kebab...
I'll try that next time i have a kebab, mate.
Next up: Smiling at a random stranger and getting one in return...
Opening a door for someone and getting a thank you. Dosn't happen often though.
Going to the beach now and again, and having a bit of a paddle in the sea. Even the deadly cold north sea.
sounds good Paul. I'm a few thousand kilometres away from the deadly cold north sea, so will have to settle for the deadly cold Port Phillip Bay. Thanks for that.
Get some exercise, no matter how little. Always makes me feel better.
I'll park the car further away & walk that bit more when I go to Bristol later.
Make the wife/husband/significant other a`meal this evening.
Finding out that old reruns of 'The Six Million Dollar Man' & 'The Bionic Woman' are being shown on a Saturday morning cable access channel.
Buy something small press next time you go into your local comic shop.
Atually see my veggie garden grow and produce.
critter
Your veggie garden produces Critter?
Find someone else who can converse in an intelligent and entertaining manner about nonsense.
Grow your hair long and girly, and waft it in the face of people who annoy you.
excellent idea! I'm on it as we speak.
pour smirnoff ice into your lager to create turbo shandy. Drink and repeat........
Go to Morrisons to buy booze, and queue up for a mildly attractive checkout girl.
(You may be half blind, deaf in one ear, balding and walking with a zimmer frame, but when she's contractually obliged to ask if you're over 21 you can kid yourself that you've 'Still got it...')
Tell an advertiser that you've no respect for them.
Kick someone while they're down.
telling ( only the arrogant )oxford students that their bod/ox card doesn't count as valid proff of age.
riding about and smiling at the few nice car drivers who don't try and kill me.
Go hitchhiking - it gives you a whole new set of critera to judge people's membership of the human race on.
ROUGH TRADE
Your veggie garden produces Critter?
Sometime it likes to direct too.
critter
Aaaah, but does it get final cut?
Go to Morrisons to buy booze, and queue up for a mildly attractive checkout girl.
(You may be half blind, deaf in one ear, balding and walking with a zimmer frame, but when she's contractually obliged to ask if you're over 21 you can kid yourself that you've 'Still got it...')
As I was buying beer last night I remembered this idea, and couldn't resist, so queued for the more attractive checkout lady. She picked up the beer, looked at me and said, in deeply dull tone of voice "Areyouovereighteenwellobviously", scanned the beer and held out her hand for the money. Clearly there's a point when you really are over the hill, and I've reached it. Thanks, Scutfink. Thanks for nothing.
And thank you james, for feeding my delusion, maybe I have still got it after all...
:)
I very strangely got eye-deed in Sainsbury's last week when I was in there with Cait. Just after a bottle of Lambrini(!) had been scanned, the cashier behind the one serving me leant over...
Her: Have you got any I.D.?
Me: [Laughs]
Her: [Sour-faced] Have you got any I.D.?
Me: You *are* joking?
Her: No, I'm not. I.D.
Me: Why?!
Her: Because we have to I.D. anyone buying alcohol who looks 21.
Me: But I'm nearly 32!
Her: [Scoffs]
Me: [Pointing at Cait] *This* is my daughter.
Her: No it isn't.
Cait: [Nods frantically]
Me: [Laughing] Yes it is! Me, my partner and our kids are in here all the time.
Her: [Flustered] Y..you...you *must* know you look 21, though! You *must*! You know! You know! You... [turns away looking *very*embarassed and tries to carry on serving the couple she was in the middle of seeing to when she decided to have a pop at me]
Lass serving me: I'm *really* sorry about that.
Now I know I don't look too bad for my age, but there's *no* fucking way I could pass for 21. Tbh, I think it was probably more to do with the way I dress* than anything to do with age. The saggy-faced Bitch.
*This does *not* mean I was wearing purple jeans, before any twat chimes in.
How about leggings?
;)
-Noisytwat
Me: [Pointing at Cait] *This* is my daughter.
Her: No it isn't.
---
That's my favourite bit of the story. "No it isn't". Fantastic.
Don't mind me - it's a slow afternoon.
The next person that gives me crap when I ID them at the bar will be beaten to death with the pint they're not having. Rant over.
I'm going to try 3rdman's turbo shandy idea tonight as everyone who works in my local Tesco looks like their mum fell out of the ugly tree while pregnant with them. Comedy tunes and terrible mixes ahoy!
And my own contribution:
Why not take up playing with fire for top notch post-pub entertainment? I bought a fire staff a couple months ago and it's my new favourite toy. Keeps you fit too.
:) xTGx
Wils, is your daughter named Cait after Cait Sith in Final Fantasy 7? I'd like that...