Title: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Pete Wells on 31 May, 2009, 10:12:00 PM
Post by: Pete Wells on 31 May, 2009, 10:12:00 PM
Aw fuck it, I wanted to love this, I really did. There are moments of shear joy swinging about and tossing stuff at people but there are so many really, really stupid flaws that are pissing me off and completely ruining this game for me.
Firstly, there are AMAZINGLY long load times for tiny, tiny levels, it's pathetic. Secondly, there's radiation randomly placed in stupid areas that kills you almost instantly leading to, you guessed it, an amazingly long load. Most infuriatingly though, I've been stuck on the same boring bit for two whole fucking nights now!!! I have to swing, pixel perfectly, from floating mine to floating mine to floating bastard mine. If I miss just one (and it's so easy to do so) I fall into some water, have to wait an age for my commando to drown then have to suffer the unbearable load time again only to fail again. I'm so bored and angry with this now I could kill someone.
When they updated a retro game, you think they'd have the sense to remove infuriating 80's style shit like that. What a waste.
Firstly, there are AMAZINGLY long load times for tiny, tiny levels, it's pathetic. Secondly, there's radiation randomly placed in stupid areas that kills you almost instantly leading to, you guessed it, an amazingly long load. Most infuriatingly though, I've been stuck on the same boring bit for two whole fucking nights now!!! I have to swing, pixel perfectly, from floating mine to floating mine to floating bastard mine. If I miss just one (and it's so easy to do so) I fall into some water, have to wait an age for my commando to drown then have to suffer the unbearable load time again only to fail again. I'm so bored and angry with this now I could kill someone.
When they updated a retro game, you think they'd have the sense to remove infuriating 80's style shit like that. What a waste.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Shakara on 31 May, 2009, 10:24:13 PM
Post by: Shakara on 31 May, 2009, 10:24:13 PM
Seconded. Miserable demo. Got rid of it. Oh the humanity.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 June, 2009, 01:22:11 PM
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 June, 2009, 01:22:11 PM
Thirded. Face-punchingly annoying.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Noisybast on 01 June, 2009, 02:38:29 PM
Post by: Noisybast on 01 June, 2009, 02:38:29 PM
What, more so than Mirror's Edge?
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 June, 2009, 02:50:15 PM
Post by: Professor Bear on 01 June, 2009, 02:50:15 PM
I waltzed through Mirror's Edge to the point that I went through the last three levels in one sitting without carking once, and wondered if I'd missed something after the bit with the chopper seeing as it just seemed to end.
Bionic Commando is a tad too exacting and promotes frustration - the loading issues don't help, either.
Bionic Commando is a tad too exacting and promotes frustration - the loading issues don't help, either.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Zarjazzer on 01 June, 2009, 08:53:11 PM
Post by: Zarjazzer on 01 June, 2009, 08:53:11 PM
i really liked the web comic for this. Drawn by 2000ad stalwart Colin Wilson.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Something Fishy on 01 June, 2009, 09:32:38 PM
Post by: Something Fishy on 01 June, 2009, 09:32:38 PM
I agree.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 02 June, 2009, 03:41:40 AM
Post by: Devons Daddy on 02 June, 2009, 03:41:40 AM
GOSH well posted,
i almost bought this yesterday, but held off as i had not read up on it,or downloaded a demo as yet.
close call it seems,
sad, they had a whole generatoin of amoeba like gamers from the early days of video gameing potentailly with this.
( us basically) to through it away is criminal.
i almost bought this yesterday, but held off as i had not read up on it,or downloaded a demo as yet.
close call it seems,
sad, they had a whole generatoin of amoeba like gamers from the early days of video gameing potentailly with this.
( us basically) to through it away is criminal.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Judge Man on 15 June, 2009, 10:02:08 AM
Post by: Judge Man on 15 June, 2009, 10:02:08 AM
Luckily, I didn't get this when I saw it in the stores.
What a complete waste of money...
What a complete waste of money...
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Pete Wells on 15 June, 2009, 04:01:52 PM
Post by: Pete Wells on 15 June, 2009, 04:01:52 PM
I persevered and got past the bit that was pissing me off only to be greeted by similar, sorry, I mean, identical challenges. It's such a shame as some bits are fantastic fun. The mechanics of the arm are great - swinging around, grabbing enemies, throwing cars at bad guys and wrenching monorail carriages from their rails and squishing folk is extremely satisfying. It annoys me so much that such a potentially exciting experience is ruined by terrible level design and coding. Let's hope the do a sequal and get it right!
On a similar note, has anyone got Prototype yet? This is another game I fancy but he reviews have been distinctly average for it...
On a similar note, has anyone got Prototype yet? This is another game I fancy but he reviews have been distinctly average for it...
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: GordonR on 15 June, 2009, 04:16:16 PM
Post by: GordonR on 15 June, 2009, 04:16:16 PM
News this afternoon that Bionic Commando's only sold 27K in the US since its release a month ago, which is....errmm....absolutely pitiful.
//http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=24040
Oh, and Prototype's really pretty good. At least, according to what I've seen of it, and how much my son seems to be enjoying it. It looks a bit repetitive, but all the rooftop-jumping and flying and horrific uber-violence looks well entertaining.
//http://www.gamasutra.com/php-bin/news_index.php?story=24040
Oh, and Prototype's really pretty good. At least, according to what I've seen of it, and how much my son seems to be enjoying it. It looks a bit repetitive, but all the rooftop-jumping and flying and horrific uber-violence looks well entertaining.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Pete Wells on 15 June, 2009, 04:23:52 PM
Post by: Pete Wells on 15 June, 2009, 04:23:52 PM
Cheers Gordon, that might be my Father's Day prezzie sorted out!
Please note, I don't expect my bairns to shell out £40 for Father's Day, they'll buy this using my sodding money then I'll act all surprised and grateful when they present me with it on Sunday morning!
Please note, I don't expect my bairns to shell out £40 for Father's Day, they'll buy this using my sodding money then I'll act all surprised and grateful when they present me with it on Sunday morning!
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 15 June, 2009, 04:30:39 PM
Post by: Richmond Clements on 15 June, 2009, 04:30:39 PM
QuoteNews this afternoon that Bionic Commando's only sold 27K in the US since its release a month ago, which is....errmm....absolutely pitiful.
To put this in perspective for those of us who don't know (i.e. me) - what sort of numbers would a successful game be expected to sell? I'm guessing something like GTA might well be in the millions..?
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: GordonR on 15 June, 2009, 04:55:44 PM
Post by: GordonR on 15 June, 2009, 04:55:44 PM
It's not fair to use GTA's sales as a comparison, but here's the top 10 US games sales for May, the month Bionic Commando came out:
1. UFC 2009 Undisputed (THQ) Xbox 360 - 679,600
2. Wii Fit (Nintendo) Wii - 352,800
3. EA Sports Active (EA) Wii - 345,800
4. UFC 2009 Undisputed (THQ) PS3 - 334,400
5. Infamous (Sony) PS3 - 175,900
6. Pokemon Platinum (Nintendo) DS - 168,900
7. Mario Kart (Nintendo) Wii - 158,300
8. Punch Out!! (Nintendo) Wii - 156,900
9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged (Activision) Xbox 360 - 120,700
10. Wii Play (Nintendo) Wii - 109,800
Note, these are divided up into the separate games console machines, so you'll see that UFC 2009 sold over a million in one month total, split between the 360 and PS3. That should put Bionic Commando's 27K launch month sales into perspective.
US games retail is reporting a total of $863.3 million in sales for the month, and this is down on previous months, and considered recession-hit bad news.
Remind me, how much does 2000AD (or any other comic) sell, again?
1. UFC 2009 Undisputed (THQ) Xbox 360 - 679,600
2. Wii Fit (Nintendo) Wii - 352,800
3. EA Sports Active (EA) Wii - 345,800
4. UFC 2009 Undisputed (THQ) PS3 - 334,400
5. Infamous (Sony) PS3 - 175,900
6. Pokemon Platinum (Nintendo) DS - 168,900
7. Mario Kart (Nintendo) Wii - 158,300
8. Punch Out!! (Nintendo) Wii - 156,900
9. X-Men Origins: Wolverine Uncaged (Activision) Xbox 360 - 120,700
10. Wii Play (Nintendo) Wii - 109,800
Note, these are divided up into the separate games console machines, so you'll see that UFC 2009 sold over a million in one month total, split between the 360 and PS3. That should put Bionic Commando's 27K launch month sales into perspective.
US games retail is reporting a total of $863.3 million in sales for the month, and this is down on previous months, and considered recession-hit bad news.
Remind me, how much does 2000AD (or any other comic) sell, again?
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Richmond Clements on 15 June, 2009, 06:58:59 PM
Post by: Richmond Clements on 15 June, 2009, 06:58:59 PM
Cheers, Gordon.
Jesus- doesn't half. It's a total flop, then, eh?
Naughty step for you, young man!
QuoteThat should put Bionic Commando's 27K launch month sales into perspective.
Jesus- doesn't half. It's a total flop, then, eh?
QuoteRemind me, how much does 2000AD (or any other comic) sell, again?
Naughty step for you, young man!
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Professor Bear on 15 June, 2009, 11:11:52 PM
Post by: Professor Bear on 15 June, 2009, 11:11:52 PM
That Spider-Man issue with Barack Obama in it sold over half a million copies in less than a month, though most of those were to Peterwolf. The Gears of War comic sold even more than that.
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Devons Daddy on 16 June, 2009, 09:25:09 AM
Post by: Devons Daddy on 16 June, 2009, 09:25:09 AM
so for rebellion potentailly a winner of a game = a winner of a comic. good for us.
so the wheel turns and remains the same then.
transformers,GI joe,Action force ,all comics with toy tie ins,
so the wheel turns and remains the same then.
transformers,GI joe,Action force ,all comics with toy tie ins,
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Judge Man on 17 June, 2009, 10:11:36 AM
Post by: Judge Man on 17 June, 2009, 10:11:36 AM
Quote from: "Professah Byah"That Spider-Man issue with Barack Obama in it sold over half a million copies in less than a month, though most of those were to Peterwolf. The Gears of War comic sold even more than that.Is there an issue like that? :D
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 17 June, 2009, 11:37:45 AM
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 17 June, 2009, 11:37:45 AM
Quote from: "Judge Man"Is there an issue like that? :D
(//http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2009/01/08/obamax.jpg)
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 17 June, 2009, 11:38:46 AM
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 17 June, 2009, 11:38:46 AM
(//http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/herocomplex/images/2009/01/08/obama_in_spiderman.jpg)
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 June, 2009, 11:57:42 AM
Post by: Roger Godpleton on 17 June, 2009, 11:57:42 AM
Didn't Obama also give Norman Osborn a job in his cabinet or something?
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: Judge Man on 18 June, 2009, 04:35:02 AM
Post by: Judge Man on 18 June, 2009, 04:35:02 AM
Quote from: "DavidXBrunt"That was niceQuote from: "Judge Man"Is there an issue like that? :D
(//http://i.usatoday.net/life/_photos/2009/01/08/obamax.jpg)
Title: Re: Bionic Commando - AAAAAAGH!
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 27 June, 2009, 11:17:17 AM
Post by: DavidXBrunt on 27 June, 2009, 11:17:17 AM
(//http://www.dynamiteentertainment.com/images/TNAODObama01covnauk.jpg)