Spoke to an ex-girlfriend yesterday.
She's 9 months pregnant and about to have my baby.
She had no idea, and this has been a massive shock to everyone.
Quite numb. Don't really know how to deal with this.
we shall see...
Get the child a subscription :D
Quote from: amberkraken on 18 November, 2010, 11:50:16 AM
Quite numb. Don't really know how to deal with this.
A comic fanboy website is maybe not the best place to go for this kind of advice
Ive got a 6 month old boy and got the shock of my life earlier this week when we found out she is pregnant again...seems I can't even look at her without it happening?! :o
To be honest, I don't think Amberkraken's looking for advice. That must have hit hard. It's difficult enough when you've got a nine month run-up, so...
Good luck, sir! (Being a daddy is actually very cool)
SBT
When I was told I was going to be a father, I felt the most approriate response was to get suicidally drunk. It worked as well as, turned out the kid wasn't mine so I celebrated by wandering around town smoking a cigar the size of a rounders bat, laughing maniacally and occasionally grabbing innocent bystanders to tell them that it is the greatest day ever.
Fuck knows how I'm going to handle it when the kid is mine...
Quote from: davethomson on 18 November, 2010, 01:04:52 PM
Fuck knows how I'm going to handle it when the kid is mine...
I think we can file that in the unhelpful drawer.
Amberkraken:
Bloody Hell, massive shock as you say.
My experience is that you are never ready to be a Father, even when expecting and chasing it.
Regardless of the surprise and circumstances now with the mother, this little child of yours is great news and will change your life for the better.
Promise ;)
Minkyboy's right. While I didn't receive quite the same shock you have, my first daughter was unplanned - when my wife (then girlfriend) told me she was pregnant I insisted the pregnancy test was broken and ran to the store to buy another for her. I was scared shitless, but as it turned out, having that baby was the blessing of my life. Good luck, mate.
Just don't take your child to a Metallica concert.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSfUrAATiWA
QuoteShe had no idea
That she was pregnant?
That you were the father?
That you didn't know you were the father and that's why you hadn't contacted her?
Other?
I don't know how old you are Amberkraken but I received a similar shock when I was 18. Iwasn't even with the girl in question but I decided it was time to man up, get my hair cut, get a job and try to be a dad. I proposed and we got engaged, we moved in together (only after the baby was born) and tried to make a go of things.
It didn't work out between us but I've seen my son every week since then and I wouldn't change things for the world. I'm 39 now and he will be 21 in a few weeks. He's a great lad despite an unconventional family unit and despite some very wobbly teenage years. Also, he's a testament to my enduring geekdom as I named him Jason Todd (after the second Robin). Could be worse, I nearly called him Jello Biafra after the Dead Kennedys lead singer. He now says he would have prefered that.
What I'm trying to say is, don't see this as a negative. It's a beautiful experience and you can enjoy it.
At the very least you can give your baby a geeky name!
With my first I was absolutely devastated as I had no feelings for the mother (who was and is still a psycho bitch. I was only with her because she was a good shag. I actually put off leaving the army for about 6 months because of her. I did the cowardly thing and dumped her while she was still pregnant thus resulting her cutting all ties with me and my girl, I should have fought it at the time but didn't want to make waves. I missed nearly 11 years of her life which is my only true regret in life. I now see her every other weekend which I am very greatful for.
I implore you not to make the same mistake as I did, make sure you are a big part of your future child's life or guaranteed you will regret it later in life.
V
Congratulations!
Quote from: davethomson on 18 November, 2010, 01:04:52 PM
When I was told I was going to be a father, I felt the most approriate response was to get suicidally drunk. It worked as well as, turned out the kid wasn't mine so I celebrated by wandering around town smoking a cigar the size of a rounders bat, laughing maniacally and occasionally grabbing innocent bystanders to tell them that it is the greatest day ever.
Fuck knows how I'm going to handle it when the kid is mine...
Just do exactly the same.
Similar thing happened my older brother years ago, similar reaction, he now says it the best thing that has happened to him
David
What Jared said, "Congratulations!"
It's 2010, not the 1920s. There's no law that says you have to marry this girl or get back with her. You can still be a good, supportive dad without the relationship with the mam. It won't be easy but as long as you love the little'lun all the world (and I'm sure you will) it could be the best thing that ever happened!
wow thanks for the support!
to answer some of the questions (what I remember)...
I'm 27
she didn't know she was pregnant. She has one of those implant things in her arm to stop her getting pregnant which can also stop your period for a long time/makes it incredibly irregular.
When we broke up it didn't end well. I don't know if anyone read it but last christmas eve my girlfriend of 6(?) years left me. The girl that is pregnant was kind of a rebound relationship that ended before it really got going. when it ended it didn't go well and she cut all ties with me this is the first I've heard from her since march!! And nowI've started seeing my original girlfriend again!
man, it's like a fucking jeremy kyle show!
oh, and about getting drunk, I'm one of those straight-edge punks that doesn't drink or do drugs! so no escapism for me!
And I wasn't overly looking for advice, though it's always welcome. I just started a seperate thread as (at the time) wasn't sure to put it in either spugs or drokking fantastic.
Embrace fatherhood for the sake of the child and when things get tough remember: the grass (really really ISN'T,) greener..............
being a dad is the single most important and bestest job in the fucking universe(and alternates there of) its hard heartbreaking sometimes and bloody scary make sure you get as much access as you can me and my wife cannot actually remember what life was like before mini its that encompassing and the first time you get called daddy...
congrats fella ...
....man, im getting broody....WIFE?! come hither and make ready with the loins!
Can other people post their "?"'s yet? Well I'm going to, anyway.
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed. When I got back from work, I went in there to steal some of her crisps and the whole room fucking stank of it.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 21 November, 2010, 10:35:40 PM
Can other people post their "?"'s yet? Well I'm going to, anyway.
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed. When I got back from work, I went in there to steal some of her crisps and the whole room fucking stank of it.
Congratulations!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1LE9s8RxYg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1LE9s8RxYg)
@ Amberkraken: Go where it takes you mate.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 21 November, 2010, 10:35:40 PM
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed.
You're just jealous that she picked your brother over you. That's families for you.
Meanwhile, just seen Amberkraken's news, and yeah, it's congratulations from me! Kids are a win no matter what the horribly complicated adult relationship stuff that they fall out of and into. They're a shit load of time, money, worry, missed opportunities and innumerable bodily fluids and/or solids, but the fun is worth every drop. Get stuck in, there's no way that you'll regret a single erg expended on your kid, no-one ever has.
Quotebeing a dad is the single most important and bestest job in the fucking universe
This is true.
This is also the idea place to mention Trout's quite wonderful Blog: http://stopbitingmyankles.blogspot.com/
And an endorsement of said blog from me too. Many guffaws were had in TordelTowers. Followed by a fresh realisation of The Horror.
Her name is Enolia, she was born last Tuesday (the 23rd).
Here she is sizing me up!
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r148/shazambang/enoliaandI.jpg)
Hey, congratulations! Babies are brilliant, have lots of them!
SBT
Quote from: amberkraken on 28 November, 2010, 09:39:20 PM
Her name is Enolia, she was born last Tuesday (the 23rd).
Here she is sizing me up!
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r148/shazambang/enoliaandI.jpg)
AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :D
Lovely pic. The best this to happen to anyone ever.
Now get your hair cut and have a shave. ;)
V
That's a brilliant pic!
Congratulations!
Congratulations, Enolia is beautiful.
I hope she makes you as happy as my two girls make me.
That really is a wonderful picture.
Congratulations again man.
Congrats!
David
Many congratulations! What a cutey! (Y'gruddamn hippy).
Wow, congratulations. That's a fantastic picture. Well done.
Congratulations man. (Enolia is wondering what the Wookiee is looking at)
Posting this here, because i dont know what to make of it.
A few weeks ago, someone died in one of the flats next door to work. I was having a fag on the steps as they brought the bodybag out of the building, and became one of the usual gawping onlookers.
I've just been told, by someone who lives in the same building to where i work, who the dead person was.
And it was the same person i saw standing in the front yard, watching them bring the body out.
The reason i remember this, is because he was a big, biker type who always struck me as very confident- and as the body was being brought out of his flat, i figured his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend had died and that it was weird no one was comforting or standing with him.
I swear this is true. How utterly bizarre.
SBT
Quote from: SmallBlueThing on 12 December, 2010, 04:54:44 PM
Posting this here, because i dont know what to make of it.
A few weeks ago, someone died in one of the flats next door to work. I was having a fag on the steps as they brought the bodybag out of the building, and became one of the usual gawping onlookers.
I've just been told, by someone who lives in the same building to where i work, who the dead person was.
And it was the same person i saw standing in the front yard, watching them bring the body out.
The reason i remember this, is because he was a big, biker type who always struck me as very confident- and as the body was being brought out of his flat, i figured his wife/girlfriend/boyfriend had died and that it was weird no one was comforting or standing with him.
I swear this is true. How utterly bizarre.
SBT
Thats an interesting story.I would say that you are a reliable witness as well.
Yeah, it's an odd one. I do remember him being there- i mentioned this on facebook earlier but here i can tell the significant detail that i couldnt on fb (because now i know who he was, i know that some of my fb friends will have known him, and to tell 'ghost stories' about a dead friend of theirs, so soon after his death seems off to me). He was instantly recognisable due to the fact he had a beard, ripped denim, leathers and a tattooed head. I swear he was there, just watching, standing in the front yard, away from everyone else.
I remember being quite upset at the sight of the bodybag coming out- more than i thought i would be in that situation (it's only the third time ive seen this happen)- and at the time put that down to its unexpectedness.
SBT
Quote from: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2010, 08:03:44 PM
I would say that you are a reliable witness as well.
Albeit with a pre-existing interest in the rum and uncanny...
SBT. Now I bet if he looked directly into your eyes you would be shitting yourself now.
Spooky Shenanigans.
V
Quote from: TordelBack on 12 December, 2010, 08:31:33 PM
Quote from: Peter Wolf on 12 December, 2010, 08:03:44 PM
I would say that you are a reliable witness as well.
Albeit with a pre-existing interest in the rum and uncanny...
But NO belief in ghosts or the supernatural. I think "a pre-existing interest in the rum and uncanny" describes everyone who was once a small boy or a mardy teenager!
SBT
Wasn't implying otherwise! Merely noting the freakish coincidence of an expert on all things living dead seeing an apparently dead person alive.
Heh. I'm no expert, mr back! merely an enthusiastic amateur.
But one day i shall succeed, and then the great resurrection shall come!
SBT
That's freaky SBT. I've got it! Twins.
Congratulations Amberkraken, she's a little sweetie. :D
I missed this, sorry for the lateness!
Congrats on the new baby.
Life is... confusing because... I've just come face-to-face with a mouse in the kitchen puttering around by the sink but he was so small and had such a cute face I am wondering if should catch him and hug him and pet him and call him George. I can't bring myself to kill the little guy or catch him and throw him out in the snow, my mind might change when I find mouse poo all over the place.
And yes this is the first mouse I can remember running across in the house (other than the dead one I found on the hot water pipe after I'd torn up the floorboards looking for the strange smell) but I do have a problem with frogs, which I catch and put outside.
Just remember nobody ever has just ONE mouse!
Yeah, they are a bit more-ish.
Just use a humane trap Emperor. We caught the mouse in our garden with this method, and I safely released him into the wild.
Bear in mind that mice are very light and it's not a good idea to open the trap to see if the mouse is inside.
Ahem...
yeah just give it a good shake and see if it squeaks :P
Thought I'd dig this thread out as I think it's most appropriate.
Found out the other day that Mrs CP is preggers. We've been together almost 7 years, are engaged (but not yet married) and as happy as any other couple.
But here's the rub. Money isn't great, I am hoping to go back to uni in September (when the sprog is due) and we are temporarily staying with my folks.
Mrs CP doesn't want to get rid of the child, and I don't either, but it's going to create a lot of problems.
So, to say I'm confused would be an understatement. I want kids, the timing is just crap.
congratulations cp! ...oh and common law cp! you manage,even if you both work kids are expensive but you manage! you dont have to have everything from new in fact ive got a loft full of baby clothes ;) for a girl mind!
its the best thing in the world!
Congrats cp....at the moment it may seem like bad timing i can asure you its worth it and there are ways and means of working out jobs and study and how that fits with the new addition
Quote from: mogzilla on 15 January, 2011, 06:36:00 PM
congratulations cp! ...oh and common law cp! you manage,even if you both work kids are expensive but you manage! you dont have to have everything from new in fact ive got a loft full of baby clothes ;) for a girl mind!
its the best thing in the world!
Thisis true. We were dirt broke when our boy arrived and for some years after but we got through it and are out of the other side now (well, unless callmedave's policies screw us over I guess), it was well worth it though for sure.
Seriously, CP- congratulations!
Money ain't a worry- you never think you have the money for a child, but in the end you'll find it. Don't worry about money, believe me, once you've held the little mite, none of that will mean shit.
The abject terror has started to subside a little now and I'm starting to feel a little more chilled (though that might be the wine). I've got my uni interview in two weeks, so I'll wait to see how that goes before starting the serious planning.
Thanks for all the kind wishes though guys. Makes me feel all warm inside :D
Quote from: Richmond Clements on 15 January, 2011, 07:05:20 PM
Money ain't a worry- you never think you have the money for a child, but in the end you'll find it. Don't worry about money, believe me, once you've held the little mite, none of that will mean shit.
Seconded. I've earned significantly less than the Dole since our youngest was born, and it really doesn't matter a crap. Once you live somewhere that you can get vaccinations and clean water, everything else will come. Congratulations, it's the best thing you'll ever be a part of.
Congratulations CP and don't worry. I imagine there is never a perfect time to have a baby (you are saving up for something, you've just booked a holiday for just the time the baby is due, the missus has just got the promotion she was after for years and now she has to go on pregnancy leave, etc., etc.) but it sounds like you've got a good support network so I'm sure you'll be able to make it work.
Congratulations CP.!
John Woo is remaking The Killer.
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 31 January, 2011, 10:50:38 PM
John Woo is remaking The Killer.
Please no...
in the US too? no no no
I'll never sleep again.
Don't know where to post this so here will do.
My brother was rushed to hospital yesterday with suspected appendicitis. All last week the doctor has had him on constipation pills for severe stomach cramps and lack of defecation.
Turns out it was his appendix but its in the process of repairing itself (My brother always has to be different), so they wont operate and he will be out sometime tomorrow, But he is going to have it checked on a regular basis for the rest of his life.
Surely having his appendix out now would save the NHS a lot more money in the long run.
V
I believe it's now recognized that some cases can heal totally without the need for invasive surgery but more often not.
I doubt we will hear the end of it.
V
Fuck me my life has just been shoved on a tangent.
At 1700 my daughter turned up on my doorstep in a right state.
It seems it has all kicked off with her mum. There have been serious problems going on for quite a while and it looks like it has come to a head. Although we don't have much room in the house she is staying here for the unforeseeable future.
My head is all a spin and I didn't get much sleep last night and the whole day has been a daze.
V
Quote from: O Lucky Stevie! on 24 November, 2010, 01:42:08 AM
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 21 November, 2010, 10:35:40 PM
Can other people post their "?"'s yet? Well I'm going to, anyway.
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed. When I got back from work, I went in there to steal some of her crisps and the whole room fucking stank of it.
What, of crisps? What flavour does she like? :lol:
Quote from: mogzilla on 28 November, 2010, 09:50:14 PM
Quote from: amberkraken on 28 November, 2010, 09:39:20 PM
Her name is Enolia, she was born last Tuesday (the 23rd).
Here she is sizing me up!
(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r148/shazambang/enoliaandI.jpg)
AAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW :D
Congratulations and you chose a great name for her to! :)
Quote from: chilipenguin on 15 January, 2011, 06:26:22 PM
Thought I'd dig this thread out as I think it's most appropriate.
Found out the other day that Mrs CP is preggers. We've been together almost 7 years, are engaged (but not yet married) and as happy as any other couple.
But here's the rub. Money isn't great, I am hoping to go back to uni in September (when the sprog is due) and we are temporarily staying with my folks.
Mrs CP doesn't want to get rid of the child, and I don't either, but it's going to create a lot of problems.
So, to say I'm confused would be an understatement. I want kids, the timing is just crap.
Congrats to you both! I hope you manage to work round things and thoroughly enjoy the new arrival in 9 months time :)
Quote from: vzzbux on 15 March, 2011, 06:27:46 PM
Fuck me my life has just been shoved on a tangent.
At 1700 my daughter turned up on my doorstep in a right state.
It seems it has all kicked off with her mum. There have been serious problems going on for quite a while and it looks like it has come to a head. Although we don't have much room in the house she is staying here for the unforeseeable future.
My head is all a spin and I didn't get much sleep last night and the whole day has been a daze.
V
Sorry to hear that vzzbux, I hope the problems between your daughter and her mum can be resolved. All you can do is be there for your daughter that only a dad like you can, chin up mate and I hope it all works out ok. :)
Quote from: House of Usher on 31 January, 2011, 11:01:57 PM
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 31 January, 2011, 10:50:38 PM
John Woo is remaking The Killer.
Wrong thread?
Roger probably posted it here due to his ambivalence over the idea of The Killer being remade. On the one hand it's a remake, on the other it's being remade by the guy who originally created it. What to feel? What to think?!
Chilipenguin: Congratulations!
Vzzbux: Hang in there man! Remember not to take sides and hopefully it'll all be sorted out.
awww babies......
Clearly mini-kraken is thinking 'cool piercings dad'...
Quote from: Jared Katooie on 15 March, 2011, 10:26:17 PM
Quote from: House of Usher on 31 January, 2011, 11:01:57 PM
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 31 January, 2011, 10:50:38 PM
John Woo is remaking The Killer.
Wrong thread?
Roger probably posted it here due to his ambivalence over the idea of The Killer being remade. On the one hand it's a remake, on the other it's being remade by the guy who originally created it. What to feel? What to think?!
I just googled it and it looks like someone else is directing with Woo producing. That sounds like a vote of confidence, but remember John Carpenter has a production credit on all the remakes of his films and by his own admission his only involvement is to receive a cheque. Also, it'll be in 3D. I'm not happy.
Oh it'll definitely be rubbish, I was just trying to articulate Roger's point of view, for clarity's sake.
Ah I see. I hadn't understood the thread title to be honest so I fell at the first hurdle there.
Quote from: Judge Palmer on 15 March, 2011, 09:20:00 PM
Quote from: O Lucky Stevie! on 24 November, 2010, 01:42:08 AM
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 21 November, 2010, 10:35:40 PM
Can other people post their "?"'s yet? Well I'm going to, anyway.
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed. When I got back from work, I went in there to steal some of her crisps and the whole room fucking stank of it.
What, of crisps? What flavour does she like? :lol:
Salt and vinegar strokes probably.
Quote from: Dode C on 18 March, 2011, 11:33:23 PM
Quote from: Judge Palmer on 15 March, 2011, 09:20:00 PM
Quote from: O Lucky Stevie! on 24 November, 2010, 01:42:08 AM
Quote from: Roger Godpleton on 21 November, 2010, 10:35:40 PM
Can other people post their "?"'s yet? Well I'm going to, anyway.
I was woken up Saturday morning (10:30) by the sounds of my sister having sex in my brother's bed. When I got back from work, I went in there to steal some of her crisps and the whole room fucking stank of it.
Wait,....your sister having sex in yer brothers bed....but her crisps from the room?
Bunk beds?
Incest?
Do you live in Insmouth?
May have turned a corner with my daughter and her mother. She spent the day around the EX's house and they had a long heart to heart. When I picked her up a lot of tension seems to have been diffused. Still staying round mine but we are looking at all back to normal by end of next week.
V