This is brilliant, horrible car crash internet at its best:
http://booksandpals.blogspot.com/2011/03/greek-seaman-jacqueline-howett.html
Brilliant!
"Fuck off!" :lol:
SBT
I think calling it 'The Greek Seaman' was her first mistake - I thought it was going to be a George Michael biography!
Ha! That's mental. So glad I do my ranting in private...
Beautiful, isn't it?
I think "Fuck off" should be the required response to any bad review from now on.
That or a bag of shit through the post.
That is amazing! And the day after I read an astounding artist internet melt down too.
On the scale of that writer?? Link please! :)
ha nice :lol:
Fantastic!
"Fuck off!"
:lol:
"Who are you any way? Really who are you?"
God, that's awful! A real cringe to read.
Arsom :lol:
If I ever have something published, I like to think that's how I will respond to reviews, especially the good ones.
And credit where credit's due - the spelling and grammatical structure of "fuck off" is perfect.
This is my favourite post -
Quote
This is from the author's own website. I have not altered this *at all*, it's a straight copy and paste. So when she says her writing is fine, I'd take that with a pinch of salt:
>>
DESCRIPTION TO THE GREEK SEAMAN NOVEL
What is an eighteen year old doing traveling on a massive merchant ship anyways, hadn't she gone to Greece on tour in a ballet as a dancer? These are questions Katy asks herself while traveling the high seas with Don, her chief officer who she marries. However, little do they know, a smuggling ring is also on board for this ride, on a blue diamond exchange, and when explosions and threats to sink the ship also happen, they must try to save themselves. True story.
>>
Yikes.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I see she's been trolled a bit on the Amazon reviews now, this being my favorite:
"Imagine my disappointment when I listened to this, expecting "an exciting sea adventure with enough suspense and romance" to make me laugh and cry, set in exotic locations like Greece, Lebanon and, topically enough, Libya. And what did I get? A dry tale of accountancy procedural changes set against the social upheaval of 1960s Margate. Will our heroine manage to adapt to new guidelines regarding small-to-medium sized company payroll dates and get a new dress in time for Friday's big dance? I neither know nor care, frankly. One star only, and that is solely for the cover art - I was impressed, if not entirely surprised, that it featured the story's single interesting character, the mysterious and enigmatic freak man with a female head growing from the small of his back. His moving death scene, where he is killed by a swarm of revenge-crazed bees, stands as Howett's tour de force. Sadly the rest of the story does not even scale the foothills of this mountainous peak of dramatic storytelling. "
http://findj.multiply.com/links/item/11
My girl friend was researching a copyright dispute between 2 reasonably popular artists and found this. It's not quite the same kind of thing as this Is a pro airing his dirty laundry very publicly but a pretty amazing meltdown none the less.
That's quite special :) Considering no one else appears to join in.
(...and his bio was a bit OTT before he kicked off...)
Clearly a domestic rather than just a petulant hack. No one in their right mind wants to get involved in some ones else's domestic.
I kept hoping she'd come back...
Her response is all a bit punk rock, innit? You don't like it - well then fuck off! Bravo.
Bravo.
If you're going to rebuff criticisms of your grammar, rule #1 is do it grammatically.
Quote from: locustsofdeath! on 29 March, 2011, 04:23:45 PM
Her response is all a bit punk rock, innit? You don't like it - well then fuck off! Bravo.
Bravo.
Well, to be fair, the review was fairly positive- the writer went off the deep end over something that would have disappeared if she had just apologised and admitted her mistake.
Telling your customers to fuck off when your in a punk band or are a stand up comic may be okay, but I suspect the same tactic doesn't work with a reading audience.
She can just wave goodbye to any hope of a writing career.
Let's note she said "Fuck off!" twice, which is somehow funnier.
It reads:
Review
Author's retorts
Reams of comments
"Fuck off!"
Many more comments
"Fuck off!"
Many more comments, but nothing more from author.
Quote from: Slip de Garcon on 29 March, 2011, 05:55:13 PM
Let's note she said "Fuck off!" twice, which is somehow funnier.
It reads:
Review
Author's retorts
Reams of comments
"Fuck off!"
Many more comments
"Fuck off!"
Many more comments, but nothing more from author.
I think she had exhausted the list of words she could spell in those two statements.
QuoteShe can just wave goodbye to any hope of a writing career.
I think the barely passing acquaintance with spelling, grammar and punctuation might have seen to that already.
Quote from: GordonR on 29 March, 2011, 06:04:38 PM
QuoteShe can just wave goodbye to any hope of a writing career.
I think the barely passing acquaintance with spelling, grammar and punctuation might have seen to that already.
Haha! A good point well made.
Or should I say: "Fuck off!"
Quote from: SmallBlueThing on 29 March, 2011, 11:45:18 AM
Brilliant!
"Fuck off!" :lol:
SBT
The way that's presented is priceless...
Jacqueline Howett said...
Fuck off!
Let us not forget syntax, too.
Quote from: Richmond Clements on 29 March, 2011, 05:51:51 PM
Quote from: locustsofdeath! on 29 March, 2011, 04:23:45 PM
Her response is all a bit punk rock, innit? You don't like it - well then fuck off! Bravo.
Bravo.
Well, to be fair, the review was fairly positive- the writer went off the deep end over something that would have disappeared if she had just apologised and admitted her mistake.
Telling your customers to fuck off when your in a punk band or are a stand up comic may be okay, but I suspect the same tactic doesn't work with a reading audience.
She can just wave goodbye to any hope of a writing career.
Ha, I was being sarcastic. It's all a bit silly is what I really mean, for the exact reasons you went on about!
Quote from: locustsofdeath! on 29 March, 2011, 06:28:04 PM
Quote from: Richmond Clements on 29 March, 2011, 05:51:51 PM
Quote from: locustsofdeath! on 29 March, 2011, 04:23:45 PM
Her response is all a bit punk rock, innit? You don't like it - well then fuck off! Bravo.
Bravo.
Well, to be fair, the review was fairly positive- the writer went off the deep end over something that would have disappeared if she had just apologised and admitted her mistake.
Telling your customers to fuck off when your in a punk band or are a stand up comic may be okay, but I suspect the same tactic doesn't work with a reading audience.
She can just wave goodbye to any hope of a writing career.
Ha, I was being sarcastic. It's all a bit silly is what I really mean, for the exact reasons you went on about!
D'oh! Now I feel silly... only one thing for it then:
Fuck off!
Was that Tony Lee?
Funny stuff, but everything about her writing suggests English is not her first language.
Quote from: The Cosh on 29 March, 2011, 08:05:53 PM
Was that Tony Lee?
Funny stuff, but everything about her writing suggests English is not her first language.
Everything about her bio - born in London, now living in the US - suggests it is.
Quick! Someone send her some poo and see if she blames it on us!
Cheers
Jim
Arsom. That gave me a good chuckle.
I'll bet her sales are rocketing from this...
This whole business inspired me in writing my DCS blog this week, entitled 'What to do with a bad review':
'Social networking sites and web forums have been ablaze this week about self-published author, Jacqueline Howett. Her very public response to a review of her Kindle release, THE GREEK SEAMAN, has both gobsmacked and entertained readers across Internet Land. And what a car-crash, poor Jacqueline simply unable to accept the mild criticism offered by Big Al's Books blog reviewer, seemingly because any criticism of her work at all is an insult. And I must say, despite the increasingly overblown drama throughout her blog comments, I think all writers would have to relate to how Jacqueline is feeling. Dealing with criticism isn't easy...'
READ MORE: http://darkcentralstation.com/?p=1440
Quote from: HOO-HAA on 03 April, 2011, 01:02:36 PM
her Kindle release, THE GREEK SEAMAN (LOL!)
Fixed that for you... :D
This is 2011. The word 'seaman' is never
not funny.
Quote from: House of Usher on 03 April, 2011, 01:26:10 PM
Quote from: HOO-HAA on 03 April, 2011, 01:02:36 PM
her Kindle release, THE GREEK SEAMAN (LOL!)
Fixed that for you... :D
This is 2011. The word 'seaman' is never not funny.
haha! True, but poor girl... surely folks have laughed enough! :)
Quote from: uncle fester on 29 March, 2011, 02:56:34 PM
That's quite special :) Considering no one else appears to join in.
(...and his bio was a bit OTT before he kicked off...)
His bio is great:
QuoteHe knew that he needed a fresh start, that it was only a matter of time, allowing the healing process to be completed. Then, life started to be better, more enjoyable. Ricky met the woman who is today his wife. Paula Arango, a beautiful girl from Colombia, has been an extraordinarily positive influence in Ricky's life and creative environment. Paula is from Medellin, Colombia and she is Ricky's best friend and partner. Ricky and Paula were married in Colombia, where Ricky and Paula initiated a tremendous publicity campaign to bring Ricky back in the media limelight, to make sure that his name would be known again and to carve his way back in the industry. He granted interviews and his fans started appreciating his return.
The interest in Ricky's creations had been energized. Colombian women are beautiful, seductive and sensual. Ricky recognized that a phenomenal opportunity had been presented for the creation of a high quality gentlemen's magazine with appealing and interesting articles and features for both men and women. The magazine, Skin Addiction, was to feature some of the most beautiful Latin American women in the world Nude. This was the very first time someone would try to publish a Playboy type of magazine but now in Spanish and published, produced and printed in Colombia.
It is a brilliant idea really - launch a huge publicity campaign (in Columbia?) and then recognise the potential of all those young women in a war-torn nation, so you feature them in a gentlemen's magazine that avoids all the usual things like pipe reviews* and instead goes for photographs of naked women.
Seems to have gone down well:
QuoteThe public's reaction was unbelievable. Colombia was in a state of shock over the release of the photographs and the quality of the product.
He gave it all up to concentrate on his art, but his site now mainly links through to somewhere called "porn ink." Classy.
* No innuendo dirtmongers