Seeing as there seems to be quite a lot of TNG fans around here's this old chestnut:
Star Trek TNG Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the ship
Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip:
The phasers were hung in the armoury securely,
In hope that no alien would get up that early.
The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks
(Except for the few who were partying drunks)
And Picard in his nightshirt, and Bev in her lace,
Had just settled down for a neat face to face. . .
When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pant and jacket.
Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun,
Leapt into the turbos and shouted "Deck One!"
The bridge red-alert lights, which flashed through the din, Gave a lustre of Hades to objects within.
When, what on the viewscreen, our eyes should behold,
But a weird kind of sleigh, and some guy who looked old.
But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew,
That we knew in a moment it had to be Q.
His sleigh grew much larger as closer he came.
Then he zapped on the bridge and addressed us by name:
"It's Riker, It's Data, It's Worf and Jean-Luc!
It's Geordi, Wesley, the genetic fluke!
To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hull!
Now float away! Float away! Float away all!"
As leaves in the autumn are whisked off the street,
So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet,
And up to the ceiling, our bodies they flew,
As the captain called out, 'what the Hell is this, Q?!"
And, snapping his fingers, he vanished again.
The spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground.
Then Q, dressed in fur from head to toe,
Appeared once again, to continue the show.
"That's enough!" cried the captain, "You'll stop this at once!" And Riker said, "Worf, take aim at this dunce!"
"I'm deeply offended, Jean-Luc,' replied Q,
"I just wanted to celebrate Christmas with you."
As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack.
He dumped out the contents and took a step back.
"I've brought gifts," he said, "just to show I'm sincere. There's something delightful for everyone here."
He sat on the floor, and dug into the pile,
And handed out gifts with his most charming smile:
"For Counsellor Troi, there's no need to explain,
Here's Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain.
For Worf I've some mints, as his breath's not too great
And for Geordi LaForge, an inflatable date.
For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-plus;
For Data, a joke book, for Riker a truss.
For Beverly Crusher, there's sleek lingerie,
And for Jean-Luc, the thrill of just seeing her that way."
And he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face,
And, clapping his hands, disappeared into space.
But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled from sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!"
How long did it take to think this up :)
Very funny.
Will
Hull doesn't rhyme with all...
Just kidding- it's very good. I don't know what it is about Dr Crusher- she looks older than my mum, has a lethal looking nose and has legs like Cornelius out of "The Planet of the Apes"- but still, there's definately something about her...
Mmmmmmm....
>I don't know what it is about Dr Crusher
Classic example of a M.I.L.F.
Mother's I'd Like to F**k?
Nigel
Are you saying you're a motherf**ker ?
But marianna sirtis looks very, very good.
No she doesn't, she looks like Cher, same as she always has.
Well, excuse me, Mr Wyatt, but you're so wrong it's terrifying. (IM not-so-H O)
Marina Sirtis is far sexier than Cher.
In fact, as Nick Cave often says, "Ooooh, Deanna..."
(However, Seven of Nine does look a bit like Toyah Battersby. It's true. Compare them.)
- Trout
Classic example of a M.I.L.F.
I'm not entirely certain whether to be proud or disgusted with myself that I know exactly what that means.
great one there
i have jsut copied it and sent it to several people on my email address list.
just to note. i just saw the entire STNG series on DVD in six volumes. now thats worth having.
Trout Id have to agree with art, I dont know just coz her t*ts have grown bigger........
Secondly and this might be heresey, Im not sure Ive ever like Start Trek after Kirks, blowing up the bad guys and sh@gging alien women......
yer "controversial" Slippo
I have to admit, although I'd love not to, that I didn't write the poem, it was emailed to me at work.
Also, I have to echo the sentiments of Wils in that I'm embarassed to admit I knew what M.I.L.F stood for.
"I'm embarassed to admit I knew what M.I.L.F stood for."
I'm even more embarassed to admit that I didn't (assuming it really DOES stand for "mothers I'd like to F*ck")
There's plenty of them around- *sigh*....
I need a holiday.
"I'm even more embarassed to admit that I didn't (assuming it really DOES stand for "mothers I'd like to F*ck")"
I'd like to point out that I don't *know* what MILF stands for - I was guessing. For all I know it's 'Mandela Is Looking Fruity', 'Most Irish Love Frogs' or 'Maybe I'll Like Felching'.
But I doubt it.
Nigel