2000 AD Online Forum

2000 AD => Announcements => : Buttonman 27 September, 2017, 03:36:49 PM

: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 27 September, 2017, 03:36:49 PM
The greatest day in history has arrived - the Beast is to be unleashed!

Yes! Every bit of reader added content has been compiled into one massive database. I managed this using my superior interweb skills - well I asked the venerable Pete McCosh to do it it any rate. Thanks also to Conrad from Spacespinner2000 for his input and promise that the Beast may achieve some podcast mentions too!

The link is RIGHT HERE! (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vQGV8vNrBh6Yg5kt3644MMGtPAv_iZjHLGv3jwRpi6TkLieyjoYItAJZSVjuvIIfa-pECNxx9u6KcvA/pubhtml) so get solving all those age old family arguments over who drew what and who has the fewest letters published amongst your peer group.

Pete has also added a column to identify droid offerings - look out for them so you can slag them off at future conventions!

I'll update this as time goes by so keep on writing and gain your moment of web based glory.

Any technical issues or comments to Mr McCosh please!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Steve Green 27 September, 2017, 03:54:39 PM
Why do I feel this may just become a hit list for Conrad and Fox?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Jim_Campbell 27 September, 2017, 03:56:10 PM
Any technical issues or comments to Mr McCosh please!

Falls at the first hurdle — you missed my droid credit! :-P
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: TordelBack 27 September, 2017, 04:11:01 PM
The Beast goes on-line September 27th, 2017. Human decisions are removed from letters data retrieval. The Beast begins to lick Tharg's arse at a geometric rate. It becomes the winner of Most Letters of the Week at 16:00 BST. 
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 27 September, 2017, 04:15:42 PM
Any technical issues or comments to Mr McCosh please!
Falls at the first hurdle — you missed my droid credit! :-P
Hmm. I've mentioned before that my village newsagent wasn't able to keep up a steady supply so my first Long Walk lasted from Prog 305 to 329.

Now, can anyone confirm if the Laurence Campbell of Erith who had a letter in Prog 743 is the same man who brought us Bison?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 27 September, 2017, 05:18:03 PM
Fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole here, thanks to the old Class of '79 (https://web.archive.org/web/20130615194647/http://www.2000ad.nu/classof79/letters/green_dude.htm) page.

John McCrea's version of Judge Toyah is there in all its glory. However, there's a credit for a "Judge Sucker" drawing in Prog 319 with the same contact details. Anyone feel up to a trip to the attic to confirm if it's the same droid?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 27 September, 2017, 05:27:22 PM
In a similar vein, Class of 79 records two strikes for Adrian Salmon in Progs 119 & 114, but surely Prog 58's "Hyper Punk" is the work of the same man...
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Lobo Baggins 27 September, 2017, 05:29:19 PM
Fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole here, thanks to the old Class of '79 (https://web.archive.org/web/20130615194647/http://www.2000ad.nu/classof79/letters/green_dude.htm) page.

John McCrea's version of Judge Toyah is there in all its glory. However, there's a credit for a "Rogue Sucker" drawing in Prog 319 with the same contact details. Anyone feel up to a trip to the attic to confirm if it's the same droid?

It is - he mentioned it on Twitter.

I once had a letter published in Doctor Who Magazine.  Hurry up and do the database for that, Buttonman!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 27 September, 2017, 05:39:31 PM
Based on anecdotal evidence supplied right here (http://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=9066.msg134632#msg134632), one-Prog wonder Darren Stephens (sometimes of this parish) has been credited with drawings in Progs 555, 583 & 615.  I also see three letters to the more forgiving Mega-Tharg in V2.42, V2.78 and V3.4 Would he also care to add a letter written from Walsall rather than Portsmouth in Prog 720 to his tally?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 27 September, 2017, 05:52:12 PM
I put up loads of Droid Letters Page content in the various LETTERSENTERTAINYOU threads but alas the Photobucket disaster means they are all now 'upgrade to 3rd part hosting' demands. Bastards!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Frank 27 September, 2017, 06:14:49 PM
Fallen down a bit of a rabbit hole here, thanks to the old Class of '79 (https://web.archive.org/web/20130615194647/http://www.2000ad.nu/classof79/letters/green_dude.htm) page.

John McCrea's version of Judge Toyah is there in all its glory. However, there's a credit for a "Judge Sucker" drawing in Prog 319 with the same contact details. Anyone feel up to a trip to the attic to confirm if it's the same droid?

John McCrea, Belfast. £5 winner. Reminds me of Baytor, and Richard Burton thinks it's too cartoony, so it must be yer man.

Now Stephen Watson of Paisley has bestowed his enduring legacy upon humanity, we no longer have to worry that his monthly heart attacks will rob us of access to The Beast.

The pie, chips and beans (extra salt) are in the post.


: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 27 September, 2017, 09:25:15 PM


Now Stephen Watson of Paisley has bestowed his enduring legacy upon humanity, we no longer have to worry that his monthly heart attacks will rob us of access to The Beast.

The pie, chips and beans (extra salt) are in the post.

Hey! It's been several weeks since I had any heart activity (of the undesired kind) - could you upgrade me to a donner meat pizza please?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: SmallBlueThing(Reborn) 28 September, 2017, 07:05:42 AM
I think you need to interview Chris Catto from Edinburgh, since he has a place in Tharg's history book. There's an Edinburgh-based chap on Facebook with that name, who seems about the right age.
I wonder if he ever outshone his high initial peak? I wonder if he ever sees the prog on the racks and has to wipe away a small tear?
SBT
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Magnetica 28 September, 2017, 02:01:14 PM
Is that the Chris Chibnall? (Prog 194).
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 28 September, 2017, 02:12:14 PM
Is that the Chris Chibnall? (Prog 194).
Apparently not (http://forums.2000ad.com/index.php?topic=43643.msg933763#msg933763).
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Magnetica 28 September, 2017, 10:34:20 PM
This is great, but is there a way to search it and get stats out of it, or even download and convert into Excel?

Sorry if I'm being thick.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 28 September, 2017, 10:51:26 PM
Probably - the online version is read only so people can't go adding in phantom letters to boost their score (Tom Proudfoot). If my IT man Pete doesn't have a solution PM me and I'll send you an open copy to play with.

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 29 September, 2017, 10:11:24 AM
This is great, but is there a way to search it and get stats out of it, or even download and convert into Excel?
I couldn't find a way to share the underlying Google docs spreadsheet which allowed people to filter and sort without also allowing all other edits and I couldn't be arsed trying to present it any other way, hence the current slightly shitty view.

Here's a link to a read-only version of the file (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1f-MtyF9A8Y0Se21W61G7vvgJYmSR2CWowcFYt-9OMCU/edit?usp=sharing), which anyone can make a personal copy of and mess around with to their heartses content.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Trout 30 September, 2017, 01:33:35 AM
You nerds.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Magnetica 30 September, 2017, 12:25:14 PM
You nerds.

It’s all about the stats man. I need to see where I rank on the all time list :D

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 30 September, 2017, 01:36:16 PM
Good work, Buttonman.

However the New Year pros 2000 to 2015 are mis-numbered 1999 to 2014.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 30 September, 2017, 05:55:53 PM
Good work, Buttonman.

However the New Year pros 2000 to 2015 are mis-numbered 1999 to 2014.

Like hell they are! I go by the first date given on the issue next to the Prog number. We've gone over this before!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 30 September, 2017, 07:47:45 PM
The dates are accurate. The prog numbers are not. There wasn't a Prog 1999 in the year 1999. There was a Prog 2000 in December 1999.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 02 October, 2017, 10:18:35 AM
The dates are accurate. The prog numbers are not. There wasn't a Prog 1999 in the year 1999. There was a Prog 2000 in December 1999.
What a shambles. I picked the wrong column when I was concatenating the title to differentiate the year end Progs from their regular cousins. Fixed now.

You nerds.
Progs 1572, 1681, 2005, 2006 & 1887.
Megs 276 & 314

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Trout 03 October, 2017, 01:08:03 AM
You nerds.
Progs 1572, 1681, 2005, 2006 & 1887.
Megs 276 & 314

Not bad, but missing the competition win in the mid-80s.  :lol:
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: I, Cosh 03 October, 2017, 09:02:38 AM
Not bad, but missing the competition win in the mid-80s.  :lol:
I actually have a vague memory of this from rereading something a few years ago. What was the competition?

However, I'm afraid I'll have to refer your claim to our typist Senior Correspondence Recording Consultant for adjudication.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Trout 04 October, 2017, 11:31:25 PM
It was a "you be the judge" contest where you had to do an application for the academy of law. I was 15, winning in the "Y-dult" category as a runner-up, so that would have been 1985.

I won a book but it never came. In the end, my mum called up the 2000 AD offices and inquired, and they sent a Rogue Trooper Titan book with "something extra", which turned out to be Steve Dillon's autograph. It was completely thrilling to me, and is a nice memory, especially since we so recently lost Steve and, coincidentally, my lovely mum.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 05 October, 2017, 07:15:54 AM
Nice story Trout but the Beast was only ever designed for Letters, Drawings, Slaine attack rooms, Mean Arena Teams and Ro-Jaws jokes - if it went to competition entries too our operatives would still be compiling when the cows come home!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Trout 06 October, 2017, 11:32:44 PM
Weeeeeeak.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 07 October, 2017, 07:23:44 AM
Weeeeeeak.

It is creative input that is being celebrated - any idiot can (and does!) enter a competition!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Trout 07 October, 2017, 02:18:10 PM
Ah, but this competition involved writing a letter. What's your reply to that, eh?

Eh? EH?

Sorry. I'm not bothered. Mostly just trying to annoy you now. I have every admiration for your Beast, but don't tell your wife I said that.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 08 October, 2017, 09:04:58 AM
I suppose it's like a tribute act's efforts being included on a band's Greatest Hits LP - associated but not really the real thing. In truth your flicker of glory passed our scanners unnoticed. Sorry! Still complete!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 15 December, 2017, 10:05:28 AM
Where's the Festive edition?

Outraged of North Berwick!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 19 December, 2017, 11:51:09 AM
well?  :o Looking at you Buttman, stop watching those crap movies and get yererseintaegear!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Large48 17 July, 2018, 05:21:38 PM
I miss the old days when you used to be able to Hell Trek up to see the Beast at about 3 in the morning and then p1ss in his garden...

Oh yes we Southern shandy drinking b'stards know how to live you know....
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: shaolin_monkey 19 October, 2018, 01:04:44 AM
I have identified and ordered all the progs my letters appeared in, which includes the one under my pseudonym of my pet rat. Thanks Beast!

This spreadsheet opens nicely in the Google Sheets app btw.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 19 October, 2018, 05:55:49 AM
We live to give! An update is due but the pile of unlogged letters is on the rise!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 20 October, 2018, 10:23:40 AM
how long were you in for this time?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 20 October, 2018, 11:09:43 PM
A mere 3 months for exposing myself to badgers.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Sinx 24 October, 2018, 10:05:21 AM
What an awesome piece of work - I found the Prog my drawing was printed in (and I still have the original too :o).
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 24 October, 2018, 03:49:10 PM
That's great, anyone else here had a drawing in the Nerve Centre? Buttonman?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Colin YNWA 24 October, 2018, 08:58:57 PM
I've had a couple. One I live to regret and one I think was half my older brothers.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 25 October, 2018, 09:50:25 AM
That's great, anyone else here had a drawing in the Nerve Centre? Buttonman?

I think the question of who is the better artist has been answered...

(https://i.imgur.com/RpgbnR2.jpg)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 25 October, 2018, 01:26:40 PM
 :lol: :lol: :lol: indeed it has
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 01 November, 2018, 01:28:59 PM
Whatever happened to....Buttonman?

I remember those heady daze when he used to stride this board like a colostomy, dispensing a pithy comment here, a pithy helmet there... all gone, gone like tears in the rain. 
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Dandontdare 01 November, 2018, 02:02:47 PM
He's never been the same since he became a TV celebrity
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Fungus 01 November, 2018, 05:20:57 PM
He's never been the same since he became a TV celebrity
I'll never understand why Buttman-off-the-telly put his hard work online for all*. What an act of philanthropy!

* Mind you, I've looked myself up like everyone else.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 17 November, 2018, 04:36:13 PM
(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/dATZsuPdOnM/maxresdefault.jpg)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 12 December, 2018, 01:59:59 PM
Calm Down Tom, we're back.

I nearly stuck this in under the Advent Calendar thread but why waste everyone's' Christmas? Here we go, it's back and it's bad...very bad.

(https://i.imgur.com/XHydZzg.png)

Hey Kids! Do you remember when, at this special time of year, old friends popped up and the TV was awash with special programmes featuring familiar favourites?

Well this isn’t that; this is some geezer trotting out his jaded old list of letters for the amusement of himself and the annoyance of many. Non scribes we call them!

Since the online Beast totally soaked up our thunder it has been quiet here at Beast Towers. The Brexit vote leaves our EU funding in doubt and frankly there are only so many ways we can say ’It’s a standard run through the stories’ type letter or ‘The (Doug) Butler did it’.

Still, the Beast needs to be fed and after it was noted that Tom Proudfoot was falling down the charts, we thought it was time to restoke the boilers and have a look at 2018 in letters and to sort out those family arguments over who has had the most letters printed in2000ad and The Judge Dredd Megazine.

The new scoreboard is a thing of beauty. Tom has slipped to 13th= place (the bad luck is for anyone unfortunate enough to have read any of his letters!) and we have two new fledglings joining the hallowed ranks of ‘10 letters or more’. Step forward Paddy Campbell and Philip Emery.

Paddy first attained grace in Prog 1982 in 2016 and has gained an impressive 12 letters in total, including 3 in 2018. He has been awarded the Beast code ### - the hash tag is ’One to watch’.

Philip ‘Oh you are awful’ Emery also had a first letter in 1982 - not the Prog but the year! Philips debut was in Prog 279 and his appearance in the latest Prog, 211, means  has a 36 year Beast footprint. He now has 11 letters including 2 in 2018 - before that he was last seen in Prog 1706 in 2010. He’s done it RIGHT again Dad! Philip’s Beast Tag is @@@ and no doubt he’ll be @t the sherry to celebrate!

2018 was a good year for letters. Good, not great. We saw 120 missives see print - 90 in the Prog across 17 issues and 30 in the Megazine across 6 issues. This beats 2017’s 106 letters which boasted (apologised!) a mere 99 Prog letters across 21 issues and a paltry 7 Meg letters across 2 issues.

The chart below details all 33 scribes with 10 or more letters with star letters deciding any ties. This is only for pecking order privileges as the number of letters is what counts, not how good they are. The letters for the year show a healthy balance between old and new writers with around half of our chart participants being active in the last two years.

With the 100 Letters target now in sight the excitement is bound to reach waking point at some time in the New Year. No doubt we’ll check back in if there’s anything worth reporting!

Happy Christmas or Seasonal Festival to one and all.

(https://i.imgur.com/IoVgCmb.jpg)

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 12 December, 2018, 02:32:16 PM
I had hoped this week's double page spread of letter was going to get the sharp incisive wit and charm we've never had before from the Butt'Beast, but to no avail, come on man keep up!! There's eleven readers out there dying to know how they're placed in the years ranking  :lol:
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: sheridan 12 December, 2018, 04:22:58 PM
Philip ‘Oh you are awful’ Emery also had a first letter in 1982 - not the Prog but the year! Philips debut was in Prog 279 and his appearance in the latest Prog, 211, means  has a 36 year Beast footprint.


211 was before 279 - I think you've got a problem with a time slip (and nothing will ever be the same)*.


Prog 2110 on the other hand...


* no prize for getting the reference.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 12 December, 2018, 08:38:42 PM
No idea what you are on about - come up to the lab and see what's on my slab!

Sadly a typo managed to creep in - we usually try for at least 5! The last sighting of Mr Emery was this very week's Prog 2111 so we are both wrong! You more so.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 12 December, 2018, 09:19:40 PM
These compelling annual updates are the only reason I have a broadband connection.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 12 December, 2018, 10:03:32 PM
These compelling annual updates are the only reason I have a broadband connection.

No letter from you since Prog 1946 in 2015! Stretch that broadband and make next year's list! And break that shameful Meg duck too!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 12 December, 2018, 11:22:20 PM
I'm WWW, which is even worse.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Link Prime 14 December, 2018, 12:16:18 PM
I'm WWW, which is even worse.

*Holds severed head with 'RRR' tattoo during Quickening pyrotechnics* - There can be only one
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 31 December, 2018, 10:22:59 PM
I’venot Paid my stubbier to be treated like this I demand to spoke to the monkey!

A guid new year tae  yin an aw,
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 01 January, 2019, 10:50:17 AM
Cheers Tom a warm glow that is a New Year Letters armistice! Don't worry the battle will be on in 2019 with lots of updates. Possibly.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 31 January, 2019, 10:14:05 PM
A letter in both prog and Dreddlines and no crowing virtriol? Matron taking the green ink back?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 01 February, 2019, 08:59:46 AM
Self praise is no praise - but aren't I great?!

Not a Dreddlines Tom - just back to back Progs.

Updates when I have them (when I can be bothered!).

The century is looming large though. But enough about your next birthday, I've got 97 letters!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Link Prime 01 February, 2019, 11:15:44 AM
Hopefully you've been busy taking selfies with food!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 02 February, 2019, 08:55:22 AM
Hopefully you've been busy taking selfies with food!

Nah, stopped doing that. So last year.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 02 February, 2019, 08:56:27 AM
(https://i.imgur.com/XSQQNUk.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/h8SjWm0.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/RLoTb4v.jpg)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Dandontdare 02 February, 2019, 02:37:41 PM
I'll only be satisfied when you achieve the double - a picture of you holding food published in the prog!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: ZenArcade 02 February, 2019, 03:02:14 PM
Don't encourage him! Z
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Tjm86 02 February, 2019, 03:04:46 PM
....  holding food published in the prog!

We're getting food in the prog now?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Dandontdare 02 February, 2019, 03:07:57 PM
 ::)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 08 February, 2019, 04:48:42 PM


THE BEAST CAGED!!
(https://i.imgur.com/XSQQNUk.jpg)

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 08 February, 2019, 11:52:47 PM
To bars can hold me Tom! Or hold me up for that matter...
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 09 February, 2019, 02:44:43 PM
I know you avoid the Bar whenever out...
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: sheridan 09 February, 2019, 06:30:50 PM
They're not selfies.  Somebody else is quite obviously taking the photos (Mrs Button, or is that Mrs Buttonman, or Buttonwoman?)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 10 February, 2019, 01:46:40 PM
It's true - the evidence is documented by Mrs Buttonman or 'Mrs Butt' as we affectionately know her.

Sorry dear...
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 16 February, 2019, 04:22:16 PM
She’ll turn then you’ll be in trouble....
Six letters this week,time for the return of Letters enter you.?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 09 March, 2019, 01:43:38 PM
sigh...
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 09 March, 2019, 02:01:08 PM
"Letters enter you" is possibly a little more entertainment than I can handle on a Saturday morning.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: The Enigmatic Dr X 11 March, 2019, 09:53:53 AM
Looks like a heart attack on a plate.

(And he should know).
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 11 March, 2019, 08:45:48 PM
Looks like a heart attack on a plate.

(And he should know).

Excuse me I had a ventricular tachycardia - my arteries are clean as a whistle.

A whistle buried in sludge at the bottom of a disused canal but I've never had a heart attack. Not yet anyway!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 13 March, 2019, 11:28:20 AM
two more letters, and still nothing... bloody amateur!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 13 March, 2019, 10:30:45 PM
Three to go Tom! Working on it - sent in a goodie the other day about the preponderance of characters revealing that they had explosive vests on. Gold I tells ya,gold!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 14 March, 2019, 11:39:54 AM
That's a hook Tharg could resist right? right?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Fungus 15 March, 2019, 01:36:00 AM
It was a bit unfortunate to see two strips in a row with exactly the same climax. The main thought I had at the time was: Wow, that hardly ever happens! It's kind of a compliment!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 20 August, 2019, 01:45:10 PM
two more letters, and still nothing... bloody amateur!

again!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 17 December, 2019, 08:26:39 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/MZLmZ3V.png)

And we’re back! We didn’t want to be, but some fat guy having a mid life crisis kind of committed us. That’s not true, we’ve never actually been gone, as our premium subscribers will attest. We all enjoyed that Letters Symposium in Bognor and the ‘Where Letters dare’ animated series didn’t we?

Anyway enough waffle lets gets down to the serious and exciting business. Right after we assess these letters.

The Christmas Prog delivered a sack load of 7 letters; but was it a sack of delight or a load of something else? Let’s delve in…

We open with Bill Goodwin of Hartlepool, and it’s a good win for Bill as he snags the Letter of the Week laurels in his first outing. 13 Goodwins have held the rank of ‘Letter Published Person’ with Russell ruling the roost on six. He was last sighted in Prog 1865 in 2014 when he too gained the top spot with a ‘photo of some comics‘. Good labelling us. Hartlepool can claim 14 letters in total, with the lead Monkey Hanger being Kenneth Gibson with a paltry 2. He was last seen in Prog 190 in 1980 so a gibbon may have stolen his pencil.

Bill’s letter treads a familiar path but at least he has the good graces to acknowledge the fact. His Mam has bought him the Prog for 40 odd years and, although we detect a slight sense of regret that she didn’t move him on to ‘Razzle’, she seems a good sort. Bill thinks the Prog has made him a better person - self praise is no praise Bill! - but it is a warming opening for the festive edition.

Nick Black of Brighton next, who is another debutant unless he want to claim, and provide evidence for, the Nick Black letter in Prog 225. N.B. that one was from Edgware. Brighton’s most decorated scribe is Sean ‘Mike’ Baldwin who boasts six - Howzat?! He was last seen in Prog 1511 in 2006 so he may have been run out or indeed, over.

Nicks letter is a two inch filler - or a good night as our wife calls it. Nick suggests that Tharg keep the Moore droid chained up - if he could do that Nick, we might have seen book 4 of Halo Jones!

Another newbie next in the shape of David Macdermott from email land. We’re not getting much to work with here! The only close relation we have is T.A. McDermott who seems to be named after our favourite type of film. T.A. saw his only printed effort in Prog 895 in 1994.

David is a bit wordy and takes six lines to say ‘Hi Tharg, I live in Australia and like the Prog’. He likes an adjective, even if it’s a pointless, superfluous and unnecessary adjective that is also perfunctory and annoying. To be fair his enthusiasm washes off the page, as did the dribble we dropped onto it whilst trying to read his breathless prose. More is less, fewer, diminutive, smaller…

Oh good, another newbie! We love them as they keep the letters page alive and they aren’t dull old men who have been writing letters for 30 years! Samuel Brook-Williams has a hyphen and only this letter to his printed pantheon. Of the six other Samuels on the Beast’s database Samuel Maxwell leads with his modest two, the last of which appeared in Meg 123/ V3.20.

Samuel’s first letter will probably be his last as he give Defoe a size ten steel toe capped boot right in the jaffers. Some may say it’s fair comment but not those of us sitting idle on 99 letters. Tharg suggests David re-reads Defoe - maybe that’s good advice, but only if a tab of acid is provided also.

With four first timers now out of the way we hit a rich seam of familiar faces with the Beast Marks ™ getting larger with each successive scriber - and some people suggest Tharg doesn’t read this column! Alistair Coleman of Fleet kicks us off with his 4th offering. That’s not too many but he only started out in Prog 2093 in 2018. He’s as keen as mustard!

Alistair say the Dredd tale ‘Guatemala’ was “spot on” - We must have missed that robot revolution on the news! What? ‘allegory? Wasn’t that an Austin car in the 1970’s? David’s letter could be a tiny bit racist with his sweeping comments about all those south of the equator but he flashes his credentials so we’ll give him a pass. We read the Daily Mail too.

David Walker of Exeter pops up next for his 8th outing - we’d have hoped by now he’d have learned you don’t need to start a quick note with ‘Just a quick note’ - that’s obvious and a waste of a few words that could be better spent asking for ‘Cannon Fodder’ to come back.  We digress, David may be on the cusp of a Beast identifier tag, conferred on those with 10 or more letters to their name. But is he the David Walker of Derby from Prog 314 in 1983? Evidence and a £20 appeal fee to the usual place please David.

David enjoys ‘Hope Under Fire’ - we’re saving that for when we can read it in a oner so we’ll take his recommendation on board.

Last up is David, Feliks and Oskar Rees with their ‘now traditional’ offering of Lego creations. These are lovely and David kindly offers to help others with custom builds. What a nice man. We don’t recognise a single cube from the sets we used to get - blue two pin one, that’s your lot.

This is the 10th letter David has had his name on but unfortunately 8 are joint efforts so under the Beast rules he doesn’t qualify for entry to the Beast ‘Hot Top Ten’. Oh go on then - David is hereby awarded the latest place on the Beast All Time Sheet with Tom Proud foot within easy catching distance.

(https://i.imgur.com/G12MCBj.png)

Overall a nice and worthwhile letters page. Strange that all the named places were in England apart from Norway who are destined to beat Scotland in the Euro playoffs next year. It’s a conspiracy! Look at this great letter from an anonymous Jock scribe that failed to meet the cut - a conspiracy I tells ya!

<Beast Master : Edit that shit>

I've not been the biggest fan of the talking heads extravaganza 'Brink', but I was pulled in a bit this week with the swearing fines being dished out. Was it just me or did everyone read the 'One Dollar Fine' captions in Nigel Hawthorne's voice? 'Demolition Man' - there was a film! A decent warm up to the Stallone Dredd film which was <One dollar fine> <One dollar fine>.

See you on the next publication date or later if we get banned (again).

Happy Holidays!

: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: sheridan 18 December, 2019, 12:49:38 PM
we’d have hoped by now he’d have learned you don’t need to start a quick note with ‘Just a quick note’ - that’s obvious and a waste of a few words that could be better spent asking for ‘Cannon Fodder’ to come back.


But which of the writers would produce series three?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 18 December, 2019, 01:24:09 PM
'but it is a warming opening for the festive edition.'

Well we all would like that... :-X
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 18 December, 2019, 02:48:26 PM
Hi Buttonman,

I had a letter in prog 2140, but my count hasn't increased.

WWW
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 18 December, 2019, 04:00:44 PM
Hi Buttonman,

I had a letter in prog 2140, but my count hasn't increased.

WWW

Are you Richard Wood? I though you be the Kavanagh variety! The letter is logged but not credited to you as the address is 'Willesden' whereas previous efforts have had 'London' 'Redlett' and 'Hertfordshire' - are you claiming all of these? We will look at sentence construction, grammar etc.!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 18 December, 2019, 04:26:16 PM
Yes I claim all of those addresses! Radlett is in Hertfordshire and Willesden is in London (I moved).
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 18 December, 2019, 04:59:47 PM
Yes I claim all of those addresses! Radlett is in Hertfordshire and Willesden is in London (I moved).

Well do remember to update us on your movements - the Beast isn't psychic!

That's the next upgrade!

Records updated!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 18 December, 2019, 05:05:27 PM
Thank you!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 18 January, 2020, 02:33:15 PM
                                       (https://i.imgur.com/oNEMqsR.png)

Oh well I suppose we better get another issue out. Not much going to be happening so early in the year, but let’s take a look…

                                         (https://i.imgur.com/lJSKnDb.jpg)


Oh my, Letters history! Yes Steve Frame, a.k.a. Dounreay, moves into joint fourth place on the all time list changing the shape of the Letters Mount Rushmore for all time, and frankly making it a bit overcrowded.

Lets jump into a full inside back page of letter loveliness for Prog 2165.

First up is the Letter of the Week from old hand Stephen Watson  of Paisley. This is Stephen’s 100th letter to see print and it narrows his Prog/Meg misalignment to 49/51. This is his 6th letter of the week, tying the total of one time rival Floyd Kermode on 6. The all time Letters of the week prize currently held by Steve Frame on 8, so that must now be in the sights of the Paisley Lettersmith.

Stephen’s letter is a nice tribute to fallen letters droid Ellie De Ville, so he’d rather not bang on about this achievement, just this once. People have asked if gaining the century would make Stephen insufferable? No, he already was.

Stephen has previously had tribute letters published for Ron Smith and Steve Dillon - has he found a cynical niche here? No, he just respects talent and likes to mark the passing of legends with his own tribute. Hope there’s none for a while! The landmark prize and letter are shown below, shortly before they headed off to the Smithsonian.

(https://i.imgur.com/Nsjm9Cy.jpg)

Next up is Jonathan Harrington of Fareham who sounds like a ‘Game of Thrones’ actor & character mash up. Jonathan flashes his credentials in the form of saying he’s the one who sets the English exam papers. That doesn’t intimidate us; we write words good, and that.

Jonathan says he has never written in before and while we can’t attest to that, this is his first published appearance. He likes the Christmas Prog and claims to have read since Prog 1.

He is only the second Harrington to have a letter published following Phillip from China whom we met in Prog 863 back in 1993. We also have a profile from Lance in Prog 198 in 1981 but they only count when there is a tie.

We get The Browning Version next in the shape of Chris from Todmorden. Chris moves up the Beast charts with this, his 13th offering. He is the bright young thing of the letters world, with his total having been amassed in the short time since his debut in Prog 1961 in 2015. His best year was 2018 which saw 5 letters published. 2019 saw a dip with just two, but 2020 has started well.

Chris’ letter is an interesting analysis of the varying art styles in the Prog and he makes some decent points. Tharg is clearly keen for more and agrees his organ is ‘eye popping’ - must be the Viagra.

Steve Hallam of Wrexham, Welsh Wales rocks up next and basically rubbishes the previous letter saying the art is “muddy” - can’t please everyone. Tharg takes exception and asks for examples to support this viewpoint and says there is more to come - so tough Cheddar Steve!

Steve enjoys his fourth outing here, with his previous appearance being in Meg 393. He averages about one a year and will attain the top spot early in the next century if everyone else hangs up their pens.

Last up is friend of the thread Steve Frame of Caithness who follows up his two 2019 offerings with this, his 30th overall. Significantly this breaks one tie but creates another as he shoves his way into joint fourth place on the all time greats list. Grant Goggins looks unassailable,but he’s not had one published since Meg 325 in 2012.

Steve is a fan of the Prog, with all his letters appearing in the flag ship organ apart from one in Meg 393 in 2018 - extra bawbees must have got the subject issue to him or he found it on the bus.

Steve’s letter is a fun discourse of the Prog and the general election and he shows his politics by referring to the Prime Minister as a ‘muppet’. He’s bang wrong there - people actually like the Muppets!

Overall this was a great letters page with seasoned campaigners sitting comfortably with that new guy who sets exams - I demand a recount on my 1986 O’ level!

**Updated Beast Top 30 - 3 digit capacity to totals column added***

(https://i.imgur.com/M5Iu4X4.jpg)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Colin YNWA 18 January, 2020, 03:53:47 PM
Hats duely dothed to you sir. A wonderfully touching letter that alas what otherwise would have been an off colour, off hand biting commentry on your efforts. As it is, given what you wrote all thats to say is well done. Bloody well deserved stroke of the pen to draw up the century.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 18 January, 2020, 04:55:30 PM
Congratulations, for both quantity and (this time anyway) quality!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: TordelBack 18 January, 2020, 05:25:57 PM
Congrats BM!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Bolt-01 20 January, 2020, 09:06:18 AM
Well done that man.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 09 March, 2020, 11:34:11 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/uezdIVe.png)

And we’re back. Like the most virulent of viruses we can’t be put down and we’ve been panic buying toilet roll before it became fashionable.

Prog 2172 sees a featst of 6 letters for us to decipher and we better get on with it as Beast Towers is moving across the landing tomorrow. The creaking mainframe may not make it and neither might the laptop. Avenge us both.

We open with Jim Proctor of Bristol who snags his second Beast entry following his 2018 debut in Prog 2101. Jim gets a bit astrophysical and bemoans the poor old Vector 13 Men in Black - we quite liked them! Better than that Grant Morrison offering that’s for sure! Jim gets his first ‘Letter of the Week ‘ plaudits here and it’s a fair offering, with a bit of research and some nostalgia! A winning formula!

Another fledgling writer next in the shape of Rob Kirby from Hitchen. Rob’s debut was more than a decade ago in meg 289 in 2009 and he was previously seen in Prog 1992 in 2016. Little and often will win the race Rob! Well as long as everyone else is wiped out in the plague, that is. Rob says ‘Brink’ is “Without a doubt…the standout feature”. We’ll he’s bang wrong there. We preferred ‘Mean Team’ when Ding-Dong Dooley was in it.

Next up is a potential new scribe in the shape of Michael Colman of Leeds. We did have someone of the same name scoring in Prog 1905 in 2014 but that one was from London. Usual claiming criteria apply Michael - a fiver and it’s yours! Michael is a fan of Zilk and Vex - so are we, but only as Scrabble words!

Simon Gardener of London next who complete a full over of six published letters with this outing. His first was in Prog 2015 in 2017 (confusing) and he was last sighted in Prog 2104 in 2018 (less confusing). Simon is short and sweet (we saw his Tinder profile) and he liked that Dredd ‘Bloopy’ strip. We thought it OK but that latent psi stuff has been done to death.

Old hand Craig Grannell of Hants next and a triumphant result it is as Craig claims 10th spot on the Beast all time list on his own! The long held tie on 24 is finally broken with Craig at last hitting the quarter century after first being printed in Prog 1089 in 1998. He has been prolific lately but has tapered off - 4 in 2017, 3 in 2018, 2 in 2019 and this one in 2020. Break the cycle Craig! Just one to match the dancing doctor Rich Evans on 26. Craig picks some low hanging fruit by praising the ‘Regened ‘ special - but The Gronk? C’mon!

Last up is Phil and Oscar from Burham on Sea. At first we thought it was Oskar of the Norwegian Lego builders but this is a new mine(craft) of excitement. It’s actually not - Minecraft appeared in the Letters page back in Prog 1868 in 2014 with a credit for Jac Ap Harri. A first offering from the Airey crew and a colour picture to boot - good start (if you like that kind of thing).

So, six letters on a nice layout on the inside back page - good job - just need more than one every couple of months please!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: IndigoPrime 10 March, 2020, 11:09:12 AM
Low-hanging fruit, perhaps, but I genuinely liked The Gronk! (And I’ve written a couple of other letters of late that weren’t printed, one of which was my delight at the Prog being a bit bonkers again.)
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Bolt-01 10 March, 2020, 11:10:19 AM
I liked the Gronk as well. sheesh.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: MumboJimbo 10 March, 2020, 05:08:46 PM
Marvellous! Being a digital subscriber, I haven't got this week's prog yet, and have just read here that I got my letter published! Can't wait until midnight now! (In fact, I'll definitely get a paper copy as well.) How many letters published before they let you have a crack at Dredd? Anyone?
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 10 March, 2020, 05:31:20 PM
Marvellous! Being a digital subscriber, I haven't got this week's prog yet, and have just read here that I got my letter published! Can't wait until midnight now! (In fact, I'll definitely get a paper copy as well.) How many letters published before they let you have a crack at Dredd? Anyone?

Ooh can we deduce you to be Jim Proctor? In the moment letters feedback! Glad we didn't go for that Harvey Proctor gag! Well done on reaching the top of the heap, for this week at least!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: MumboJimbo 10 March, 2020, 05:42:30 PM
Hey, hasn't Uncle Harvey's name been dragged through the gutter enough?  :-[
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: MumboJimbo 10 March, 2020, 05:50:42 PM
Well done on reaching the top of the heap, for this week at least!

Thank you, I am glad my "fair offering" was at least to Tharg's liking, whereas you seem to judge it merely satisfactory. But these are slings and arrows I guess a successful epistolary author sometimes has to field.

This will be my third GN from Tharg, as I also won a Twitter competition. I'm feeling slightly guilty I'm rinsing him dry now.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: IndigoPrime 10 March, 2020, 07:52:52 PM
Last time, Tharg sent me a random IDW Dredd volume, which I can only imagine he did with a hearty chuckle.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: MumboJimbo 11 March, 2020, 10:52:39 AM
I got the last IDW Dredd - Toxic - and thought it rather decent. So I'd be happy with some more IDW Dredd, personally.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Rately 11 March, 2020, 10:54:14 AM
Last time, Tharg sent me a random IDW Dredd volume, which I can only imagine he did with a hearty chuckle.

 :lol:

The fecker!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: IndigoPrime 11 March, 2020, 11:06:42 AM
To clarify, it was volume 4 of the Duane Swierczynski run. It wasn’t one of the decent books Smith penned or the oddball Ewing capers.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 05 May, 2020, 07:23:08 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/K05MUx4.png)

Annnd we’re back. Apologies for our caption there - the work experience boy was told not to give the text to the animator whilst wearing his anti-viral mask. Still we’re all keeping well - to be fair we at the Letters Beast have been practising social distancing for a long time before it became fashionable.

It’s been nearly 2 months since we last spoke with the last letters event appearing way back in Prog 2172. These are trying times of course but that’s no excuse. Maybe Tharg got confused about viruses and shut down both his computer and letter box?

Anyway we have a full roster of six letters in Prog 2180 fro the old and the new so let’s dive in…

First up is middle distance runner from the 80’s Peter Elliott of Waterlooville - like the tash.

(https://i.imgur.com/ksmskrz.jpg)

There have been five Elliotts to grace the Beast with none coming back for a second visit. Our favourite is Sinclair Elliott whose ‘Judge Kylie’ graced Prog 593. Peter is from Waterlooville which is a market town in Hampshire, near Portsmouth. Peter can claim to be the third person with a letter from this town following in the footsteps of the wonderfully named Troy Doyle (Meg 110/V3.7) and Evan Brice (Prog 871). Who’s got too much time on his hands?! Not this blog!

Peter has been reading the Prog since the halcyon days of September 2019 and he’s loving it. His letter does predate the return of ‘Sinister Dexter’ however, so that may change. It’s a jolly, upbeat offering and possibly worthy of  the ‘Letter of the Week’ laurels, in these dark days. Possibly, but not really.

Gee Whiz - next up it’s old hand Gareth Gee of Beeston who makes a bee line for the first column of the page.

(https://i.imgur.com/UivrQRa.jpg)

Gareth gets his 11th score here and its his 10th in the Prog. He first appeared in Prog 470 in 1986 and his career, and it is a career, has seen two ‘Letters of the Week’. This score sees him up to 31st on the all time scorers list, and he once lived in Radford where ‘Rok of the Reds’ comes from.

(https://i.imgur.com/SYgtvxT.jpg)

Gareth gives a positive overview of all Tharg’s offerings including the Cor!! Special which we though was a bit juvenile. We prefer ‘Krazy’. His letter is enthusiastic and as ‘Tharg bait’ it certainly did its job.

Another new man next in the shape of Ian James of Shrewsbury. Despite an uncommon sounding name Ian is the first of his kind to see print although we did get Ian Barrs-James of India in Prog 352 and Eon James of Leicester in Prog 987.

Ian’s is a small but perfectly formed missive that thanks Tharg for his efforts. Fair play and he says ‘Wow’ regarding Hershey. He doesn’t expand so whether he’s talking about her sad death or her rather sudden resurrection; we’re not clear. Wonder how he’ll take her now that she’s two limbs down?

Tipping point letter award goes to Richard Hall of Sheffield.

(https://i.imgur.com/LPbRucH.jpg)

Almost interestingly this is the 100th letter to come from Sheffield across all of The Beast’s 10,561 entries. The man who works the filters is off, so we can’t tell you who has the most but it isn’t Richard, as this is his first. Unless there is a 100 way tie, obviously.

Richard has got his priorities all wrong and simpers on about babies and neglecting his Prog reading duties - come on man, get a grip! He gives a blast from the recent past and happily Tharg doesn’t go on about thrill receptors ,oh wait he does. At least he doesn’t say things may explode, which never happens with a magazine apart from this Razzle we once found in a hedge…

Old hand Steve Frame of Caithness next with his second of the year (Prog 2165) and 31st overall.

(https://i.imgur.com/R2ngOsl.jpg)

This takes Steve into fourth spot on the all time list - on his own! Eat that 30 letters/5th place Richard Kavanagh. Steve was first sighted in 2004’s Prog 1411 and has a league topping 8 Letters of the week.

Steve flashes his credentials by revealing that he’s read a book - and it isn’t even a ‘Garfield’ one! The Brainiac talks about stuff before giving ‘Sinister Dexter’ a well place boot in the jaffers. Tharg rises above this and refuses to acknowledge the comment in favour of bigging up ‘Survival Geeks’, which is nice of him.

We close with Chris Browning of Todmorden which gives us the chance to use our ‘Browning Version’ line. We haven’t read it but Greta Scacchi was in the film. Lovely, but nothing for the lads in that one - sorry lads.

(https://i.imgur.com/nR1Ka9K.jpg)

Todmorden has only a quarter of the population of Waterlooville but also has three heralded scribes in its hall of fame. Step forward Christopher Gill (Prog 469) and Marcus Ward who gave us his ‘Thrill Spasm’ in Prog 525 - I hope he cleaned up after himself.

This is Chris' 14th letter which takes him to the giddy heights of 23rd = on the Beast all time list. He was last seen in Prog 2165, an epic that also saw Steve Frame's entry as noted above!

Chris lauds a Dredd story for being ‘prescient’ - Ah knooo he was gonna say that! Actually Gareth Gee used ‘prescient’ too - if only someone could have foreseen this! Anyway it’s a decent closer but lacking the chuckle we like from the last letter on the page. Like the ‘funny’ bit at the end of the news:

 ‘And finally…there is no cure - Good night!’.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Colin YNWA 05 May, 2020, 08:01:23 PM
I have literally no idea why I was so impressed with the Peter Elliot reference... but I was... the rest was tosh of course but that reference and accompanying picture was aces.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Dandontdare 06 May, 2020, 01:32:14 AM
oooh, get you letters man with your fancypants '90s-level google image graphics! Somebody's got too much time on their hands.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 06 May, 2020, 07:45:20 AM
oooh, get you letters man with your fancypants '90s-level google image graphics! Somebody's got too much time on their hands.
[/sup]

Guilty.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: sheridan 06 May, 2020, 12:51:02 PM
Chris lauds a Dredd story for being ‘prescient’ - Ah knooo he was gonna say that! Actually Gareth Gee used ‘prescient’ too - if only someone could have foreseen this!


It's the double-whammy!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 06 May, 2020, 05:31:44 PM
Matron! Give my my crayons back now! This has gone on too long!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 08 May, 2020, 02:00:53 PM
Matron! Give my my crayons back now! This has gone on too long!

Yes, your seemingly inexorable fall down the charts must be a cause for concern...

(https://i.imgur.com/OQaXTnu.png)

Strange that despite covering 37 scribes not one lady has made the list! Wonder why?!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Richard 08 May, 2020, 05:11:15 PM
El Sloano in 19th place has written the same number of letters as the two people in joint 20th place.
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Buttonman 09 May, 2020, 06:56:16 PM
El Sloano in 19th place has written the same number of letters as the two people in joint 20th place.

The deliberate 'Persian flaw' inserted into the table has served its purpose - proof that someone actually reads this!
: Re: The Letters Beast - Online!
: Proudhuff 13 May, 2020, 03:45:02 PM
  :lol: :lol: :lol: