2000 AD Online Forum

2000 AD => General => Topic started by: Thread Zero on 01 February, 2002, 03:24:10 AM

Title: A message board poem
Post by: Thread Zero on 01 February, 2002, 03:24:10 AM
This board was once great, a wonderful site,
Full of wondrous comments and insightful delight.

But now all it is, is a load of old pap,
"Where my story is better, and yours is just crap."

I crave for the day, when the message board is great,
Where Matt and Logan, will perhaps even mate.

But until that day arrives, I give but a sorrowful sigh,
What a git Scojo is, we'd wish he'd just die!

scojo
Title: Hey you lot, notice anything different about this week's cover?
Post by: Thread Zero on 01 February, 2002, 03:31:04 AM
Well did you?

The logo was in black!
Not red.

I liked it. Maybe we will have different colours each week.

scojo
Title: Re: Hey you lot, notice anything d...
Post by: paulvonscott on 01 February, 2002, 04:00:21 AM
The dark progeny of Logan and Matt, stalking the very alleys and back steets of our beloved message board?  I say sir, it's a terrible prospect, worse than the ripper, eh?  What?

Actually on the logo, they'll probably just choose whatever works with the cover pic.  I don't think the logo would have stood out very well against a wash of evil posessed magenta hair.

Title: Re: Hey you lot, notice anything d...
Post by: Thread Zero on 01 February, 2002, 04:15:19 AM
The child could be called Mattgan, murdering er...traffic wardens in London's east end.

Crimes worth committing I say.

Oh you know how much it costs if you illegally park in the west end of london?

?40, doubled if you don't pay it in two week!

Now that is criminal.

I got done once. Bastards...
I once got done actually going to get some change from a shop for the meter. When I came back, they done me!
You do know there is one of the worst jokes ever about traffic wardens?

I went out shopping the other day. Parked in a tight space. Easy. When I came back I got a note stuck to my windscreen. It said  Parking fine.
But I knew that already.

Groan!

scojo



Title: Re: Hey you lot, notice anything d...
Post by: Matt on 01 February, 2002, 03:34:30 PM
Now you know how the Gila Munja first evolved...
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: Wood on 01 February, 2002, 06:07:50 PM
Scojo, as a poet, you're a surpassing comic fan. :P
Title: Re: Hey you lot, notice anything d...
Post by: paulvonscott on 01 February, 2002, 08:57:13 PM
Any you never want to mess with the Gila Munja.

Sorry Papa Munja, no disrespect intended!

I'm off to buy an upgrade to my Twistron 800 Personal security device.

I only pray it is enough.

Cheers :)

PVS
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: Dominic O'Rourke on 01 February, 2002, 10:13:18 PM
This board is the finest,
It's dandy, it's great,
except for the posters,
filled with venom and hate.

There's Scojo, and Mark, and MK13,
paulvonscott, and Logan and Wake,
their messages are filthy, dirty, unclean,
and sometimes, the mickey, they take!

Theres no other finer when wrapped in a bin liner,
with an orange stuck in their throat,
Chelsea shirts are forbidden,
but you can always get hold of a goat!

we bend them and break them,
and beat the old dog,
but still cant replace him,
that beatleguissian Tharg!
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: Thread Zero on 01 February, 2002, 10:27:27 PM
Theres no other finer when wrapped in a bin liner,
with an orange stuck in their throat,
Chelsea shirts are forbidden,
but you can always get hold of a goat!
 

Now ziz is vezy interesting Mr Dorourke.
Lie down on ze couch and tell me...
Did you have ze troubled childhood?

Prof scojo - ze Austrian shrink

Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: paulvonscott on 01 February, 2002, 11:16:28 PM
Well, I've just finished reading about 50 John Wagner Dredd's someone lent me, that I have never read before, so I warn you, my mind is unstable as the thrill power courses through it burning synapses and dissolving my restraint.

Bloody poems, I don't know.  I have to say there seems to be some insinuation from your poem (technically it may be a poem, I'm no expert) that the people on that list are secretly conservative MP's.  I for one object most strenously to this point mister speaker!  I mean Dorourke.

"Their messages are filthy, dirty, unclean,
and sometimes, the mickey, they take!"

I'll have you know I'm a member of the 'Third Day Hypocritical Puritans' and I have no truck with flithy, dirty, unclean, salicious, vulgar, perverted, sick, twisted, deviant, immoral, amoral, breasts, thighs... ooaahh...

Well, I think I've made my point.

But I'm not entirely sure :)

PVS
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: Dominic O'Rourke on 02 February, 2002, 09:53:01 PM
point taken, your honor,
and then the court sighed,
for the punchline of your joke
left you open, yes wide!

Third day puritans,
their duties and prayers
Shouldn't stand, with their eyes closed
at the top of my stairs,

The things that they see
from behind closed doors
should be kept from the shelves
for young girls and young boys!

Mandy and bunty, Sonic and crew
The Tweenies and telletubbies and gi joe
would write to their minister
That dredd should just go

Up to the shelves with computers and things
Books on yacthing and girls who wear strings
Thats where Dredd should be, it's where he belongs
with the oiled girls and the boys that wear thongs!
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: 2000AD Online on 03 February, 2002, 12:28:33 AM
Yikes.
Title: Re: A message board poem
Post by: paulvonscott on 03 February, 2002, 12:31:34 AM
I would laugh, but as a third day hypocritical puritan I'm not allowed to.  I also wasn't allowed to read that poem.  Fortunately the 'hypocrytical' get out clause allowed me to do both.
Title: Wanring, mad poet on loose, stay in your homes!
Post by: paulvonscott on 03 February, 2002, 12:34:32 AM
Yikes?  How do you think I feel, that's me trapped in that poem.

Somebody help meeeeeeeeeeeee!

:)
Title: Re: Warning, mad poet on loose, st...
Post by: paulvonscott on 03 February, 2002, 12:36:01 AM
Wanring?  I seriously hope that was just a typo and not a freudian slip.

"Wanring to rule them all and in the darkness bind them".