Title: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Proudhuff on 14 January, 2004, 11:49:30 PM
Post by: Proudhuff on 14 January, 2004, 11:49:30 PM
Damn good news! As a grumpy old curmudgeon i have just done something that is beyond the likes of you young whippersnappers can you guess what it is?
(Not at all)Huffy B
(Not at all)Huffy B
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Matt Timson on 14 January, 2004, 11:55:39 PM
Post by: Matt Timson on 14 January, 2004, 11:55:39 PM
Used your bus pass for the first time? Drawn your pension?
I give up.
I give up.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Valhalla on 15 January, 2004, 12:06:10 AM
Post by: Valhalla on 15 January, 2004, 12:06:10 AM
pooed ya pants!
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Quirkafleeg on 15 January, 2004, 12:11:24 AM
Post by: Quirkafleeg on 15 January, 2004, 12:11:24 AM
Got some reading glasses?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 01:00:23 AM
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 01:00:23 AM
tsk..... for goodness sake ! you never did !
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Slippery PD on 15 January, 2004, 01:09:48 AM
Post by: Slippery PD on 15 January, 2004, 01:09:48 AM
Colostomy bag?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 01:48:36 AM
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 01:48:36 AM
Acquired a Grandchild?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Wils on 15 January, 2004, 02:33:03 AM
Post by: Wils on 15 January, 2004, 02:33:03 AM
Used a commode?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: LARF on 15 January, 2004, 02:42:09 AM
Post by: LARF on 15 January, 2004, 02:42:09 AM
Parked your Eldstar Zippy Electric 2000 in a disabled parking space?
Aquired a hand me down cardigan from a recently deceased relative?
Took viagra?
Aquired a hand me down cardigan from a recently deceased relative?
Took viagra?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dounreay on 15 January, 2004, 03:07:45 AM
Post by: Dounreay on 15 January, 2004, 03:07:45 AM
Started smelling of wee, grown hairs out yer nose and ears and devloped a taste for Werthers Originals?
Gone a bit deaf?
I-SAID-GONE-A BIT-DEAF-HAVE-WE?
I-SAAIIIDD...oh for Christ sake, I'll write it down for you.
What do you means you've forgotten where your specs are?
I-SAID-WHAT-DO-YOU-MEAN-YOU'VE...
Gone a bit deaf?
I-SAID-GONE-A BIT-DEAF-HAVE-WE?
I-SAAIIIDD...oh for Christ sake, I'll write it down for you.
What do you means you've forgotten where your specs are?
I-SAID-WHAT-DO-YOU-MEAN-YOU'VE...
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 03:11:45 AM
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 03:11:45 AM
Can you all piss off and get your own joke, please? I'm the nasty bastard around here...
Now then- where's that Molcher? I've not kicked him for weeks! Is he down? I'm not kicking him unless he's *really* down...
Now then- where's that Molcher? I've not kicked him for weeks! Is he down? I'm not kicking him unless he's *really* down...
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dounreay on 15 January, 2004, 03:27:22 AM
Post by: Dounreay on 15 January, 2004, 03:27:22 AM
A million apologies Mr Eyebrows, but sometimes a fine opportunity for humour at an eldsters expense can't be passed up. Think of it as a homage to your fine opening gag.
I'll wager that the canny Huffsta, being a resident of the notoriously careful with money, furcoatannaeknickersburgh is now in reciept of cheaper insurance.
I'll wager that the canny Huffsta, being a resident of the notoriously careful with money, furcoatannaeknickersburgh is now in reciept of cheaper insurance.
Title: a long pointless commode story
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:38:31 AM
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:38:31 AM
commode? ah reminds me of the home birth of my third, on overenthusiastic & in-experienced midwife gave me a list of equipment required for the birth that was 7 pages long, including essential oils to massage the periniummm ( spelling ?), i said if that creepy bitch thinks shes getting anywhere near massaging my... anywey... she also provided a commode, cos my bedroom was upstairs & loo downstairs.
It sat there in the corner of my room for days, this foul plastic monstrosity that old ladies had sat upon.
silly cow was off duty the day of the big event & i got an old midwife who promptly chucked out all this stupid equipment, buckets hot towels etc, except the commode sat there...
nasty painful birth went wrong, babe wrong way round, we all nearly died ..tut ..again.
anywey, as soon as the midwifes back was turned, i was not only out of bed & down those stairs to loo like a shot, but within a couple of hours was cooking for the kids & doing the housework.
the commode sat, lonely & unused for bloody weeks til i delivered it back to Nurse Thinko myself, damn stinky thing.
The moral of the story ? none whatsoever, but it was theraputic for me.
It sat there in the corner of my room for days, this foul plastic monstrosity that old ladies had sat upon.
silly cow was off duty the day of the big event & i got an old midwife who promptly chucked out all this stupid equipment, buckets hot towels etc, except the commode sat there...
nasty painful birth went wrong, babe wrong way round, we all nearly died ..tut ..again.
anywey, as soon as the midwifes back was turned, i was not only out of bed & down those stairs to loo like a shot, but within a couple of hours was cooking for the kids & doing the housework.
the commode sat, lonely & unused for bloody weeks til i delivered it back to Nurse Thinko myself, damn stinky thing.
The moral of the story ? none whatsoever, but it was theraputic for me.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Floyd-the-k on 15 January, 2004, 03:41:27 AM
Post by: Floyd-the-k on 15 January, 2004, 03:41:27 AM
Did you defeat a neo-Nazi conspiracy to clone Martin Boorman?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 04:08:30 AM
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 04:08:30 AM
Given a "Werther's Original" to a young boy?
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Trout on 15 January, 2004, 02:33:48 PM
Post by: Trout on 15 January, 2004, 02:33:48 PM
Shagged a girl half your age?
What? Don't glare at me like that.
Somebody had to ask.
- The really nasty one around here
What? Don't glare at me like that.
Somebody had to ask.
- The really nasty one around here
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: ukdane on 15 January, 2004, 02:59:47 PM
Post by: ukdane on 15 January, 2004, 02:59:47 PM
Shagged a trout ? your age.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: stront692 on 15 January, 2004, 03:05:32 PM
Post by: stront692 on 15 January, 2004, 03:05:32 PM
ok, i give up???
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:17:03 PM
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:17:03 PM
I reckon the Trout's right. I've got 4 years to go till I can legally do that (shag someone half my age). Though I remember the fuss certain people made when I had a 16-year-old girlfriend at the age of 21 - a lot of whispers and looks, made me feel like a paedophile - so I think in actual fact I'd actually have to wait at least another 8 years.
...Dudley the ex-cradle-snatcher
...Dudley the ex-cradle-snatcher
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 03:28:38 PM
Post by: Matt Timson on 15 January, 2004, 03:28:38 PM
Yeah- that happened to me too. Seemed alright at the time. Feels a bit weird now though.
Um.
Um.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:36:12 PM
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:36:12 PM
Yeah, know where you're coming from.
Um.
Um.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Bony Fella on 15 January, 2004, 03:39:20 PM
Post by: Bony Fella on 15 January, 2004, 03:39:20 PM
Ok, before this thread becomes clouded in 'Am I perverted?' queries (no, you're not, it depends on the maturity of the two parties envolved - s'long as it IS legal) can I just say I'm totally in suspense?? EEEEEE!!! Tell us!!!
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:40:25 PM
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:40:25 PM
hmmm, dudley, i may need to have a little chat, as my underage daughter is seeing a 21 year old, should i kill him now, or tomorrow ? ( tho one of the 'boys' has already had a 'word' {que crap eastenders accent} )
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:50:21 PM
Post by: Dudley on 15 January, 2004, 03:50:21 PM
I knew a case where an underage friend was seeing a 21-year-old. The parents, seeing that she was doing it to rebel, didn't stand in the way at all - all they did was give her loads of highly detailed and embarassing "little talks" about condoms & STD's. They let the constant piss-taking at school kill the relationship instead. Worked like a charm. not knowing your daughter/her mates, i've no idea if that might work for you.
Proudhuff, tell us... suspense is killing me!
Proudhuff, tell us... suspense is killing me!
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:55:03 PM
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 03:55:03 PM
tsk its prolly sommat boring like had his grey hairs pruned outtof his nostrils or something, tsk...we've ALL done that.
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Slippery PD on 15 January, 2004, 04:10:44 PM
Post by: Slippery PD on 15 January, 2004, 04:10:44 PM
Grey Pubic hairs.
MY daughter told me she had a boyfreind before xmas. Ive gone into not interested mode to see if I can freak her out enough to stop. Am I cunning or just gullible?
Yeer Slips
MY daughter told me she had a boyfreind before xmas. Ive gone into not interested mode to see if I can freak her out enough to stop. Am I cunning or just gullible?
Yeer Slips
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Proudhuff on 15 January, 2004, 06:01:16 PM
Post by: Proudhuff on 15 January, 2004, 06:01:16 PM
Hahahha!
The scarely thing is, a lot of the above I have done recently...
but my latest wizard wheeze is signing my voluntary redundancy papers today and after 25 years of avoiding work i am leaving the employ of her madge at the end of the financial year.
I am now trying to get into the last refuge of the scoundrel: higher edukayshun. Meanwhile there are a large number of nights-oot to plan
Nipina Huff
The scarely thing is, a lot of the above I have done recently...
but my latest wizard wheeze is signing my voluntary redundancy papers today and after 25 years of avoiding work i am leaving the employ of her madge at the end of the financial year.
I am now trying to get into the last refuge of the scoundrel: higher edukayshun. Meanwhile there are a large number of nights-oot to plan
Nipina Huff
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Trout on 15 January, 2004, 06:19:38 PM
Post by: Trout on 15 January, 2004, 06:19:38 PM
Oh, hell.
Hands up if you always hated mature students!
(Good luck, Huff!)
- Trout
Hands up if you always hated mature students!
(Good luck, Huff!)
- Trout
Title: Re: Boohahhahaha!
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 10:18:08 PM
Post by: Queen Firey-Bou on 15 January, 2004, 10:18:08 PM
eeek how will edinburgh postal service servive? Good luck huffster !