2000 AD Online Forum

In 12 days time the most sickening day of the year comes around. This thread is for those who find the whole spectacle depressing/fake/a gross symbol of Western consumerist arrogance/just plain vucking annoying. Any thoughts?

P.S. This thread has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact that I am unloved and (by all accounts) unloveable.Got that?

A professional misanthrope writes:

No, I hate Valentine's Day too.  I also hate New Year, Mothers and Fathers Days, grudgingly tolerate Christmas and am none too fussed by birthdays, including my own.

Someone find out when Gordon's birthday is...


Personally, I love Valentine's Day, Christmas, Grandmother's Day, National No-Smoking day and all the rest of them.  This may not be unconnected with the fact that my mother sells mass-produced greetings cards to shops, and as such the more you buy the richer we be.  Hah hah hah haaaaaarrrr!

...Dudley

I propose we rename it hate day. Top priority then becomes declaring your undying hatred of someone before presenting them with a bouquet of poisonous toadstools and a selection box of pickled frogs.

The mascot will be me wearing a bucket over my head and armed with a crossbow.


Jared "alone on valentines day" Katooie.

I know that Coca-Cola invented Christmas and Nestle invented Easter, but who invented Valentines Day? Celebrations? Thorntons?

St Valentine was probably some mad old scote that lived in a cave and scourged himself thrice daily with prickley sticks (a sure sign of holiness), what has he got to do with all of the cards, candy, teddybears that say "I wuv you" and frilly figgin pink crap that gets shoved down young girls throats by the magazines (with Gareth Gates on the cover) that they are brainwashed into buying by barbie commercials? Eh?



Or is it just that I haven't had a card since the age of four?

We should declare a boycott on all shops that stock this crap.

Robinson "alone on every Valentines Day ever"Krusty-o

Valentines Day should be followed by Injunction Day ? where people can chastise overbearing lovers or their regular stalker ? who?s been give carte blanche to express undying love on the day such shows of affection are tolerated ? with a low cost 100 yard exclusion zone court order.

Don?t know who the patron saint of this day would be?

Ps Don?t like Valentines Day, but get loads of cards. Honest.

Now i love all sorts of days, except this one...

ITs a big steaming pile of diarreahhh. I agree we should let the happy smoochy dribbling lovers have their moment of bogging w**ky 'don't really mean it' expensive cards & guilt trips, with their vucking teddy bears & glitter & red furry 'ooo how naughty' handcuffs & 'you'll be vucking lucky' silly pants... & their its supposed to be about love & passion & romance, but now its all pathetic childish innuendo & smut & they probably never get it up cos theyre too busy on the phone giggling about it with their mates anywey...

where was i? ah teddy vucking bears..vuckers, mother vuckers...vucking red-roses say i love you ? do that w**k, they say, i've no imagination & have co-dependency / dependancy issues & will you shag me please.

love is a form of mental illness.

erm... sorry keep going off there... ah yes ! can we singles have a day please ?

the "Ha Ha i can do what i want day"
or "look at me again slime-ball & you die day", traditional symbols can include all forms of weaponary, un-shackled ball & chains, empty cages & sisters doing it for themselves.


( tho i must admit i have met one or two couples who are allowed to be together & be as soppy as they like& deserve lurve, the rest of you are deluded & pathetic fools, who come the apocolypse, will be eaten  )

Don?t know who the patron saint of this day would be?

There should be an hour set aside on the day when all singletons have the right to scream nasty stuff as loud as possible without fear of being sectioned.

I also think Futurama style suicide booths should be placed on the streets...

"Singletons"?  "Singletons"????  Has this suddenly become Bridget Jones?

It's funny how I love Valentines Day now I'm not bitter and single...

bitter and single

I think that's the key phrase here, isn't it? ;)

Valentines day is great! And as long as you dont spend anything then you cant be fleeced!!

Of course, explaining the lack of presents to my girlfriend will be a bit more difficult...*

Wul

*('...' is copyrighted to Krustabi enterprises Ltd.)

"Krustabi enterprises Ltd."?

I assure you, none of my enterprises are limited...

just another day...

its true
valentines is for business to make serious money.
im in the catering business.its a huge money spinner.

from flowerists to musicains record companies and resturants. we all mark everythign up and sit back and rake it in.

i like christmas and birthdays. but valentines is truely $$$ based.

Valentine's Day is clearly consumerist bollox. If you're not prepared to put in the effort the rest of the time, I can't see what the point is in having one day of unimaginative presents, and, as Bou says, lame innuendo and sugary sentimentality.

I'll have no time for this kind of nonsense, as I'll be spending all that weekend in recording sessions with my orchestra (yup, for a real CD! That you can buy in the shops and everything!). And I'll have no complaints from my girlfriend. That's because I've co-opted her into the band. Bow down before my cunning!

St Valentine's Day is terrific.

I'll be buying flowers and a card and a present for my wife.

Ahhhhh... I'm so nice.

- Trout

I suppose its just like everything else.  If you are willing to put in the imagination and the effort, you dont have to spend wads of cash or succumb to the consumerism involved.  Some of the comments remind me of something Andrew Marr said about christmas.
"Its all about consumerism and I wont be parting with my hard earned cash, its just a waste of money."
To which his wife replied
"He will if he still wants a wife."
Needless to say that Mr Marr quickly forgot about his objections......

Most of us cant be bothered with Valentines Day.  However, most of our wives/partners/etc like to be spoiled on that day.  So id rather spoil my wife on that day than spend the next 6 months in the dog house.

Yer Slips
 

Look, it's all about how you manage the situation.

Women need to feel loved and if they're left out on St V's they get upset.

So try to turn it to your advantage. There are relatively simple and cheap ways of doing so.

Offer to cook that night - and do something vaguely fancy and even edible - or get her a box of her favourite chocolates and put on a chick flick.

Flowers are pretty cheap in supermarkets, too.

I understand why it's a bit crap for people who don't have a significant other, but even they can enjoy Valentine's Day.

Try sending an unsigned Valentine to an unpopular person, and watch how it cheers them up.

- Trout

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be the sickening chocolate, flowers and huge quilted cards affair that the shops try to tell us it has to be.

I think, as a couple, you can make it what you want it to be to suit yourselves; whether it's roses, choccy and a swanky restaurant or a chinese takeaway, cans of Stella and DVDs at home.

For obvious reasons, I can't say what I've bought or got planned. :)

Tell us later, then. :-)

I haven't decided yet, but I'm considering having flowers sent to Mrs Trout's workplace, so all her workmates get really jealous.

That always makes a girl happy.

- Trout

Oy ! sickly pathetic dependant ones get off the thread where happy independant FREEEEEEEE people can be FREEEEEE to be as grossy cynical as they like without being accused of being bitter...

we demand the right to vomit at yous without being judged !

You lot are just bitter cos you are all only other halves, whereas to be FREEEEE & SINGLE is to be a WHOLE person.

whaaaa haaaaa haaaa i laugh at you shackled simpletons !

Ha ! so being single i won't get stupid dumb arsed fluffy presents. HA no change there. If i get cards they'll be from stalking cretins who i will have to kill. the only thing crap about being single is the no sex thing... and that doesnt bother me at all... nyrghhhhhhh grrrrrrrrarghghg  gakk gakkkkkkkghghghg

I never give "stupid dumb arsed fluffy presents," you silly woman.

Hey Warrior Chick, is that blue woad you're wearing a little odd today?

It looks... green...

- The evil one

I neither have bought some fluffy present for my wife.  One year she got a full set of power tools, but thats not the point is it?  All we've said is that there a time and place and a relevance to buying/doing things for your partners.  And I will not get made to feel guilty for doing so by a bunch of single miserable lonely people :)!!!

Yer "grass is always greener" Slips

No chance ! bugger off ! i could have my pick i tell you ! theyre queing outside... well they would be if it wasnt raining, & i wasnt so horrible to them all,

anywey ive got a date for valentines.. HA HA HA!
on the 14th i shall be away for a thrilling dangerous crazy weekened with a married man, So nyyyyyyur ! And his wife doesnt mind, cos she wouldnt want to do it with him.

Link: dirty weekend

:-)

That's one wild time you're going to have, Bou!

There's nothing more romantic than the smell of petrol. :-)

Good luck!

- Trout

St Valentines day:
The one day in the year when the Trout's all consuming evil and hatred recedes like a chief accountants hair line.

Slips- If we can't be bitter, then can we be twisted?

well, twisted's good, if you've got the right kind of gal... ;)

Phoarrrr, sweat & fear & adrenalin, petrol & oil & broken sumps, & grease & the sound of smashing glass & splittering metal..

ahhhhh, actually i am starting to feel all romantic now.....

Bou: "but now its all pathetic childish innuendo & smut"

Slips: "One year she got a full set of power tools, "

*giggle*

This year, me+ tank boy are 'hosting' (e.g inviting everyone down the pub for beer and stupidity) a Friday the 13th Anti-Valentines do. Loud crunchy tunes, gallons of assorted alcohol and giving away of pots of hand cream and cheap dildos to those deemed worthy is the order of the day!
Tank boy also had the fab idea of collecting any over-indulgence-induced hurl in a bucket and presenting it to the soppiest couple that have the misfortune to meet us.(you just got engaged??? aaaw, congratulations, have a bucket of puke! heh!)
I don't think we'll be doing that last bit...

Happy valentines to those that absolutely have to partake, and i hope i've provided a few ideas for a good night out to those that don't wanna.
xTGx

The pressure to be original on this day is a nightmare, as is the possibility (or stupidity) of not doing anything just cause she says she doesn't want to do anything (cause she is lieing - really she is, don't believe her cause if you do nothing then she will punish you, oh yes she will, just you mark my words, oh yes you will suffer, suffer, suffer.....sorry....lost it a bit then).  So this year I intend to keep it simple; arrange for mother-in-law to have the boy for the night; champagne and other nice wine; flowers and choccy; and a simple meal that we cook together.

That night just do it.

Yeah, I was considering doing that in Leicester too, getting together with a bunch of my single mates, getting pissed and bitching about the opposite/same sex.

Although we're mostly all roleplayers, so it'll probably just degenerate into people talking about their Vampire Characters (Yaaaawn)/Magic Decks (Aieee!)

    Steve

lack of sex thing...wot..you mean you dont just say to friends of the opposite sex 'fancy a shag like ?'

bou

shame on you

we have this wonderful thing called Friendship Day, created to sell Winnie the Pooh merchandise, what a load of shit. I'm in the bitter single valentines day mob thanks...mmmble mmmmble damn comercial shit mmmble mmmble....grmph..

cu Krestel

for extra points you could send a  non signed card to your signifcant other.
see if they tell you they got it?

if they dont. you have every right to act all annoyed. if they do then tell them it was from you. you will be loved and loathed at the same time.

but i always buy the wife a forever friends bear a card i must admit. i always work on the 14th as its time to make MONEY$$$$$$$.

 here the women buy all the men chocolate, regardless of carnal intent. Female office workers love it when V`s day is on saturday because they don`t have to buy "duty chocolates" for their bosses. There is another day in March when the men are expected to reciprocate. that`s called White Day.
  Who cares if it`s a commercial con, it`s a bit of fun. Krustabi`s original post didn`t sound very "happy and freeeeeeeee", but he`ll change his tune in a few years. Probably.

Japan kicks ass. I want free chocolate! And maybe a few bottles of saki, just to help the day pass more quickly...

But where do the Ninja Schoolgirls with pink hair come into it?

I send anonymous Valentine cards out to female friends that I think would benefit from the feelgood factor.  It doesn't cost me very much (in the great scheme of things) and I know that they'll be dead chuffed (even if they won't admit it).

I don't tell Sara though.  I don't think she'd understand.

You could leave them reassuring anonymous phonecalls as well...

Johnnybluebeard -

Lining up the next one, eh?

Tsss!  Can't a bloke just be... you know...

Kind?

Every now and then?

I know it doesn't fit with the rest of the evidence, but...

I may just stick my head into an oven.

By the way this was supposed to be the ANTI-VD thread...

"By the way this was supposed to be the ANTI-VD thread..."

I've got a metal umberella type thing you could borrow, "Krusty" :)

Oh, I've just changed my mind.  I'm wholeheartedly anti-VD.

Why'd you change your tune, eh?...

Please, somebody tell him...

No! It's too good! See how long it takes him to get it...

I'm fully aware you were referring to Venereal Disease...

Some fast googling there...

No it wasn't, I probably shouldn't of shortened it to that extent. I make mistakes. Shiv happens...

well it does if youre not careful young man.

I think Johnnies revealed that he's a very nice man with his card sending, what he fails to realise is that these women, then feel compelled to a) lunge at the chap they've had their eye on, making fools of themselves & destroying what little confidence they already had
b) become paranoid about that bloke they see at the bus stop, change the locks & eventuall crack up & leave town.
c) feel utterly cheap, beacuse one of their pals. thinkc theyre so sad & lonely that he's go behind his lovely NEW wifes back & send them a patronising card to 'cheer them up'


actually i've just remembered my little daughter generally sends me one, I tried to explain but she shrugged & said , yeah? well i love you mom.. AHhhhhh.

ahhhhhhh

Careful Bou, you're hovering dangerously close to cuteness there!

Hey!  I never let on that *I've* sent them!  I'm actually pretty good at acting all genuinely surprised, or in offering my commiserations when they try to test me by telling me that they didn't get any Valentines (when I know full well that they did).

But... uh... don't spread this 'nice' stuff around, alright?  I don't want it getting out...

johnny...stop it...let em accept their single status..ok

Tssssk....  Johnny gave me a great idea and I suppose thats you off my list :)

Yer Slips

well, if there is a Ninja schoolgirl with pink hair working in your office, she`ll have to give you chocolates if St Valentines day is on a weekday. If she`s a student in your school she won`t have to but may give you chocolates if she likes you. Or she could just staple you to the wall with a heart-shaped arrangement of shuriken (those little throwing star things as everyone knows)
  Me and Roy both get chocolates from Mitsuko on the day