Much as I enjoy watching two people writhing around naked having sex, I find it a refreshing change if when reading a comic or watching a film, the two protagonists have sex without actually having sex, if you get my drift
My personal favourite is ROBOCOP (the original and best) where Lewis helps Murphy to regain his aim and shoot again. They are even firing at tins of baby food!
And last night I watched THE LAST SAMURAI which had a similar thing going on (which I won't spoil).
So can anybody think of great examples of the above from 2000AD? (Oh and can someone remind me where I got the thread title from)
Let the tidal wave of smut begin...
Sorry - not a 2K one, another film - Lost in Translation. I'm glad the two main 'heroes'(?) didn't get jiggy together.
Another movie...
Hicks showing Ripley how to use the pulse rifle in aliens..."Thats the grenade launcher, I dont think you want to mess with that"...indeed...
Was always sorry that Luke and Leia never got it on- just to see the look on their faces later
I'm glad we never had to see Jonny teach wulf how to use his shotgun:
"Thats right Wulf, hold it tight, now pull it back, yeah thats right, but be firmer next time. Now push your finger into the hole and squeeze my trigger."
Shocking. But you know they are obviously just straight chums.
Thread title came from an episode of Portrait of a Mutant entitled "No Snecks Please, We're Brutish!"...
Dante trying out his rifle for the first time in The Gulag Apocalyptic springs to mind. "Wonderful design, your eyes just flow towards the target" - image of alien babe's bum in the crosshairs.
>Was always sorry that Luke and Leia never got it on- just to see the look on their faces later
I take it you've not read A Splinter In a Mind's Eye, the Alan Dean Foster knock-off that takes place after Star Wars and before all the sister stuff has been written... and Luke gets more than a bit 'excited' in Leia's presence. Yuck.
Some of the stuff between Anderson & Corey. Or am I just "doing a Rennie?"
Theres a bit of furry style almost-sex action in Fosters Spellsinger books...
I always find the obligatory Hollywood 'almost' sex scene is normally just long enough to nip through to the kitchen and make a cuppa or nip down to the cellar of Huff Mansions and get another bootle of red.
Laird Opairts Huff
No, sorry, I didn't mean almost sex - that's pretty dull neither here nor there. Or NO sex - that is definitely dull.
It's where they have a metaphorical sex. Like I said in the ROBOCOP example. Or ALIENS.
Another favourite is in STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT where the BORG queen gives Data a "blow job".
Does Sarah Connor watching Schwarzennegar pull bullets out of his hide in Terminator 2 count?
This is a great thread idea and I`ll come back if I can think of any other examples
yours sexily and symbolically,
Floyd
"Another favourite is in STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT where the BORG queen gives Data a "blow job"."
Is that in some other version i haven't seen or were you making that up?
He means she 'blows' on him and he.. ahem... enjoys it! When he has skin...
every time Dredd beats up a perp. you just know its good for him.
I know this is a sad mainstream example, but what about the scar comparison scene in Lethal Weapon 3? Mel Gibson and Rene Russo comparing points where they've been, ahem, penetrated by knife and bullet.
Gibson eventually takes the opportunity to shed his trousers, thus breaking the metaphor, but then Russo tells him that she really was just comparing scars.
It's all metaphorical of course but it's where the Borg have grafted a bit of flesh onto Data's arm. The Queen is telling him all about how wonderful it is to be fleshy and tempting him. She then kneels over and gently blows the flesh on his arm and the little hairs stand up and Data goes all tingly.
Is there some edit of Jaws where the scar scene goes further too?
Can't think of anything in tooth off-hand - there probably just aren't enough stories with girls in. But the best movie example of metaphorical sex I can think of from the movies is Daniel Auteuil as a knife-thrower and Vanessa Paradis as his assistant in The Girl on the Bridge, which is just an unbelieveably wonderful film.
Banzai Battalion!
Sarge gives Flambo a charge from his battery, via a wire he plugs into her - accompanied by some 'was it good for you?'esque dialogue.
Another comics one, the "polishing" scene from Laser Eraser & Pressbutton in Warrior.
Mad Max, Joanne Samuel Max`s wife plays a saxophone solo while he relaxes after a hard day`s fanging around killing people in the v8 falcon.
Wings of Desire where the angel who has given up eternal life in order to hang around with Soveig Dommartin (a reasonable decision) holds her rope while she practices her cirus act.
The chess scene. Need one say more?
Back in the days when any mention of sex was a no no, never mind showing it the talking about speeding scene in noir classic Double Indemnity is well ahem 'racey'
The Pottery Scene in Ghost.
AAAARRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Help get me out of here!!!
Any James Bond scene...
I liked the scene in Watchmen, with the rather impotent sex scene being performed to the TV commentary.
And back to Terminator 2 - Sarah Connor 'fucking' the T-1000 by vigorously mastubating the shotgun and blowing holes in him.
Not quite on topic... but after reading it I had to quote this somewhere:
Prog 1222, DREDD: "The older I get, the tighter I like 'em."
The whole Vincent Vega/ Mina Wallace tale in pulp fiction was more or less sex without the sex. (apart from when she ODed of course).
And I've just remembered another Star Trek one (they must have got a lot of practice).
There's one of the original series episodes where Kirk and co. end up on a planet populated by greek gods. One of the crew manages to make one of the Gods angry and is lashed by a storm that represents rape.
I need to think of more 2000AD examples...
SPOILERS
this weeks Slaine, ooo er Mr tentacles. bit too obvious really.
Very obvious, but very funny
BEND OVER!
I was hoping he'd add "And brace yourself!"