Messages

A) A natural sense of comic timing and the ability to appeal to all demographics ... still, better to entertain than revulse, like some purple legging wearing individuals do ;oP

Q) Does you does or does you don't take Access?

A) No, you cheeky get ...

Q) Is this a boil or a pimple?

A) Mealy-mouthed idiot whose only claim to fame was being the most irritating part of the very irritating Candyshack ...

Q) You've got J-Bo, Matt Smith and Alan Barnes trapped in a beer cellar by an avalanche of beer barrels ... how long before J-Bo drinks them to safety?

A - not at all :o)

Q What's the cure for a broken heart?

A - How?

Q - Where?

"Q: Why?"

A: Why not?

Q: How?

A: I'm a breast man myself.

Q: Half arsed or just arsed half?

a) no, we have plenty of sh*te spellers back here in Blighty! (Wyatt - I'm looking at you, dog boy!)

b) Should spikey boots be considered a perverse fetish or a fashion statement?

FACT! Every time you necro post, a kitten dies ... oops ...

Our father Wake
Whose art is in Oxford
Halo'd be our Playstations
Thy board update come
Though Wils be glum
On the board as he isn't in a tavern
Give us this day our daily board fix
And forgive JEB his troll-baiting
As we forgive - and pity - those who argue against him
And lead us not onto other message boards
But deliver us from evil
So consign to the dustbin
The Spacegirls and BLAIR1
For ever and ever

A-spludig-men


FACT I'm gonna burn for that one ...

FACT: Today's Harrogate Advertiser headlines:

* Bilton man, 64, charged with rape (the bright spark decided to rape a woman who lived round the corner and wonders why he got caught)
* Gangs 'linked to fireworks' (gangs stealing fireworks from 'secure' police lockups, selling them to kids and using the money for crime)
* Tutor admits child porn charges (1,700 images on his computer and his solicitor says he shouldn't be sent to Crown Court because he's 'of good character')
* Police launch new war on heorin problem
* Delay hits Trust big by Harrogate hospital

and to finish this page of doom and gloom:

* Tea on the lawn anyone?

I hate my job ...

FACT: Oranges are not the only fruit ... there are succulent lesbians as well ...


What?!

It's a slow day, alright?

You cheating b*stard fish! There's someone sat in our reception who I should be interviewing and they've been down their ten minutes longer than they should because I was waiting for the b*stard 700th post!!

Journalists. Ya can't bloody trust em!

FACT: We're coming up for the 700 mark here

We are indeed.