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Any Lego?

I know it's only boring old gits that say "soon be thirty", but sadly it's true.

Happy Birthday, by the way.

No!  Not until we've had some pointless four hour fight that would kill a normal human being within the first thirty seconds...

"It would probably be a longer fight than the one in They Live."

Pfff- that was just stupid!  I eventually gave up on the hopw that one of them would bludgeon the other to death and went out to make a cup of tea.  I was a bit hungry too, so I prepared, cooked and then ate a four course meal- followed by a long bath with a good book and a bottle of wine.

Imagine my surpise- nay- horror upon returning to the lounge some hours later- only to find that the bastards were *still* fighting...

Yeah, I remember at least one episode where somebody else drew it.  I was horrified.

Helltrekkers.  Dead depressing was that- what with most of them carking it along the way.

Was a big fan of Crustacea Glemp though...

Well that's f*cked it.  I can't play now...

I thought all virgins wore white?






snggrz...gffawww!

Hmmm... Been years since I read the Beano properly- although I do have a story to tell (there's always a story).  It's not very interesting- but I'm going to tell you anyway...

Around three or four years ago, I was telling somebody that I remembered buying the 2000th issue of the Beano (complete with free Gnasher Snapper- I device I cunningly reconstructed during my call centre days- much to the annoyance of anyone in earshot- with *everyone* being in earshot) and that at the time, I had wondered if I'd still be reading the Beano, or if it'd even still be going, by the time the 3000th issue came out.

As I was boring them with this story, it occurred to me, after the application of some in-the-head-sums (never to be trusted at the best of times) that the Beono must be somewhere around the 3000 mark.  Mildly curious, I checked in the local newsagents that lunchtime- only to find that not only was it 'near' the 3000th issue- but that the Beono 3000 was that week's issue.  How cool is that?

Now then.  Mere coincidence- or had the super computer that is the human subconscious neatly ticked off those thousand weeks in my brain, leading me to the memory of Beano 2000- which led to the discussion with the friend, which in turn led me to the newsagents so that I could buy the 3000th issue?

Sorry, Mr M.  This doesn't help you in the slightest- but it's not a bad story.

As Beano stories go.

Definately High Plains Drifter for me.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly was on last night- but for some ridiculous reason, I decided to watch Wolf instead.

One's a classic- the other's a bit shit.

Totally out of my depth- I'll get me coat...

Mega City Comics...

Ahhhh... sweet nostalgia.

Hahaha! True evil!

Never forget- the Trout may be evil, but the Eyebrows is patient.  And evil, of course!

I used to go out with a girl who was a bit on the unreasonable side.  Eventually, I got a bit tired of the perpetual screaming fits and sulks that seemed to accompany any given night out- not to mention the accusations of infidelity that were accompanied by a shocking amount of indescretions on her part- and I cheerfully dumped her.  

Taking this really well, she would often ring me up to shout at me- or demand back various items that were't hers- the usual nonsense.  One night, as I went out for a drink with her brother, she even insisted on joining him (even though she knew that I'd be there) and sat next to me all night- making a concerted effort to ignore every word I said, as well as talking over me- just for added irritation.  Pure class.

The final straw came when she totally arsed up my birthday (a tale in itself) and I knew that I would have my revenge.

Between my birthday and her own, she managed to find some other poor fool to abuse and all was calm in my life again.  I really should have let it go at that- but...

I was annoyed that she'd ruined my birthday and knew full well that she'd spend hers with her cronies in her favourite local (it was the only viable place to go really).  Being reasonably popular, I found it quite easy to fill the place (and when I say 'fill'- I mean FILL the place) with people that she absolutely hated.  Most of whom were of the female variety.

All of these people had previously been on the banned list as far as my lunatic ex was concerned.  All the girls were "slags and dogs" (they were actually just very nice girls- most of them with boyfriends) and the lads were all wankers (jury's still out on that one).  Either way, she didn't like them and it was wrong of me to hang around with them- end of story.  So of course they were only too happy to come along.

I even paid for one girl to travel up from down south somewhere- because I knew that she was the object of quite ridiculous amounts of venom (for no better reason than a lot of the lads fancied her).

Needless to say, our party was better than their party and the icing on the cake was when her brother defected and joined ours.  She glared at him so hard that I was expecting his head to pop any second.  Eventually, she and her her rather small groups of friends decided to leave- their party spirit having been well and truly crushed.

The hated ex (although by that point, she was really just the laughable ex) was barely able to control her rage as she barged past me- a very unladylike word ryming with 'bunt' hissing out from under her breath as she did so.  They'd barely even made it through the door before the laughter started.

I heard a lot of shouting and swearing outside after that and there may have been tears too- but I didn't care.

We all stayed until closing and had a great time.



I know it was mean and petty and that I shouldn't derive any pleasure from such childish activities- but I still *loved* it.  It gave me some closure (as they say) and still makes me laugh nearly ten years later.

The stupid cow.