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And another thing...

CAN YOU PELASE GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT MY SCRIPT, YES MY SCRIPT, IS WRITTEN FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER READ A DREDD STRIP BEFORE.

SO THE TOURIST AND COUNCIL OF FIVE MEETING SCENES ARE IMPORTANT.

UNLESS YOU DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW WHERE MG1 IS, WHO THE JUDGES ARE, WHY THERE ARE JUDGES, WHAT  SORT OF CRIMES ARE COMMITTED ETC.

SO PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU POST, OK?:)

Sorry for shouting:)

scojo

Lack of original ideas?

You have the cheek to post here and say lack of original ideas when you haven't read it all?

Jeez! Unbelievable!

scojo

To be honest if you can't be bothered to read it, I can't be bothered to reply.

After all, let say you MR TIPS, wrote a script. I post my opinion abut your scenes having no relevance etc and I don't much like it. Then at the end of the post I casually say  "Oh by the way, I've read less than a third of your script."

What would you think?

Would you take my comments seriously?

I doubt it.

scojo

What I don't understand is that as a professional screen writer why did you dedicate so much of your time to a script that you then posted for free on the site? Surely the best option would have been to submit the script to Shoreline first?

Matt,

Ta for your comments. But....

I'm NOT a professional screenwriter. Just aspiring. I guess you only become a pro once someone options or buys your script.

I submitted my screenplay to Jason Kingsley, CEO of Rebellion. I asked if I could send my script to Rebellion for consideration and he said YES. This was in November.

I sent a hard copy in January. It was in the correct screenplay format. Not the same as what's up on the site.

I emailed him 4 weeks later. He said he was busy.

Weeks went by.

He did email me once, saying he'd looked at a bit of it. How much he didn't say. Said he would try to read it over that weekend. I guess he didn't. I had no reply.

As May approached, I asked him to give me a date by which time he would have read it.

His reply?

Still busy. Didn't say when he would read it. Not next week, next month, next year. Nothing.

So I emailed him back saying I understand you're busy (fair enough I'm sure he is) but I would have liked some feedback after 4 months. I didn't think I was being unreasonable.

The Comic2Film website mentioned two new Dredd scripts were currently in the works. Not the old Shoreline synopses. If Rebellion were working on new scripts, there would be little point in reading mine after these scripts got approval. So that's why I wanted some sort of reply.

Anyway Jason never gave me the impression he'd contact me and give his opinion. Maybe I'm wrong, but that was the impression I got.

Fair enough. Can't force the guy to read it.

So I said if you don't reply in a day or two, I'll put it up on the site.

That wasn't meant as some silly threat or anything, just that way people can read it. Hopefully that would include Jason and people at Shoreline.

So that's about it really. Maybe I shouldn't have put it up on the site.

Big mistake in hindsight!:)

I guess my attitude doesn't win me any plaudits so it's not surprising the nature of some of the comments.

At the end of the day, I'm passionate about Dredd working on the big screen. That's why I wrote my two scripts. Dedication is want you need!

I like them. At the end of the day the only person you can really please is yourself.

If you read your work and say I genuinely like it, well that's the best you can do. Then you have to fight for your cause.

I think a lot of people here are being particularly unkind in their criticism (the somewhat trivial changing lines debate springs to mind) but that's their opinion. Fair enough.

I can't make other people like my script, although I'm a bit sad that Jason never gave me his opinion. Not even a "sorry, it's not for us" reply. I didn't get any comment at all.

Oh well that's life I guess.

scojo

You see Watcher, a line has to be right for the scene context.

"Unlucky for him" isnt what Dredd should say in the med bay scene.

Dredd is in a threatening mood. He is about to interrogate the perp.

"He may soon wish he hadn't" works much better within the context of the scene.

Your line is completely inappropriate.

I can give loads of other examples where you say my lines are wrong and state why they are right for that scene.

scojo

You say re my dialogue:

An example:
The injured jetpacker is going to live;
"He may soon wish he hadn't" could be something like "Unlucky for him"

But my line is much more threatening. Dredd is implying it may be better if he didn't pull through cos he will be sent to iso.

Your line Unlucky for him doesn't imply that and isnt threatening.

"Unlucky for him." Where's the menace in that line?

Can't you see that?

scojo

I've gone Midnight Surfer or should that be Gary Gray?

So there's no point my replying.

scojo not here

Hmm now that was an intelligent response.

You aren't Arthur Wyatt by any chance?

To be honest I can't be bothered anymore with you lot.

No one judges my script fairly, in its entirety, and gives a sensible reason why they liked or disliked it.

Just inane trivia.

Fair enough.

So goodbye.

But if the Dredd films are made and they turn out shit, don't say I didn't warn you.

I least I tried to write something that would bring Dredd to life. Something spectacular.

I am not posting anymore. I will put up my Possession screenplay in a few weeks time and then I'll will be off forever.

Farewell.

shooshi sends her love.

scojo out

Logan,
Hi.

Sorry for being a moo. My bark is worse than my bite.

Woof woof.

See what I mean?


I've calmed down now. I guess when people say this line should be said in this way, deep down I feel I know why my characters say what they say.

Look at it this way.
Say you are a writer and maybe you write a Dredd script. Be it for film, audio or comic.

The final scene has Dredd about to kill a perp. This perp is the most evil guy who has ever lived. Real bad dude. Think traffic warden type and you got it.

Anyway perp is trapped. He can either give himself up or jump to his death from some block roof.

Perp decides to jump. He's dead.

A judge says:
I never thought he'd jump Dredd.

Dredd says:
He chose the coward's way. Fitting.

Now Dredd is saying the perp was a coward and deserved a cowardly death.

Now some guy comes on the board and says that last Dredd line sucks. It should be:

Dredd:
That meathead got what he deserved.

You see that isn't what you, as the writer, meant Dredd to say. This new line has no mention that the perp was a coward.

Some person has suggested a line which is completely inappropriate.

That is why I keep arguing. Cos everytime you change the dialogue, you change the meaning. The scene changes as well.

If John Wagner had a similar line, and you said change it, he would probably feel the same way.

I hope you can understand what I am saying.

scojo

Well he said he would read it anyway!!!

scojo who can't type the word " myself"

Mrwhit,
At the risk or repeating myslef, I don't agree with this "my dialogue is bad" line. Sorry, I really, really don't. If you read my "Watcher, why you are so wrong" thread, you can see why I do have some justification.

Maybe you would read that thread. Hand on heart, does Watcher's line sound better than mine?

Is it more threatening? Is the line better suited to the context of the scene?

Of course it isn't.

So as I say, this bad dialogue stuff really doesn't wash with me. Maybe some lines are expostional. I agree. But there has to be some in a dredd script. And Wagner DID the same in the first part of Sin City at the judge meeting. Read it again. See?

So if you lot are gonna condemn me, why not John as well?

So these criticisms are unfair.

With respect MrWhit, your synopsis point is invalid. Jason K wanted to read my script. He never asked for a synopsis. So I never wrote one.
So why put one up on the site?


scojo



 

"You have been having a relationship, sexual in nature, with Judge Mario Hortez. And please don't waste our time any further by denying this fact. Perjury is all too common an offence."

What is so wrong with that line?

If Hades says it in an intimidating fashion, it would work.

I think it's good dialogue.

I don't understand you lot. I really don't. I'm sure if Wagner wrote the same line in 2k, you would accept it.

Oh well...goodbye forever.

BYE
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
scojo

For example Dredd plants a tracer on Leech. Leech goes to his warehouse where sugar is being reined. Judges track Leech to warehouse. Dredd is alerted. Confrontation at warehouse.

Sorry meant refined not reined.


scojo

Well thank you Watcher.

Of course it goes without saying I think you are talking complete **** but hey it's your opinion.

As for the plot exists only to move Dredd from one action setpiece to another, hmmm can't see that at all. Everything in my script has a reason. A cause and effect.

For example Dredd plants a tracer on Leech. Leech goes to his warehouse where sugar is being reined. Judges track Leech to warehouse. Dredd is alerted. Confrontation at warehouse.

All logical chain of events. So to say the plot only serves to move Dredd from one set piece to another is ridiculous.

I could go on about all the other stuff you say but hey as I say you are entilted to your opinion.
Meaningless as it is.:)

scojo

So why don't you put me out of my misery and post your opinion MR TIPS?

Go on. Post it on this thread.

I hate your script because.....

or

I like your script because....

Or are you all going to hide behind this pathetic dialogue excuse and not give me anything else?

Come, on did you like my story? Yes or no?

scojo