Messages

Logan,

Care to give me some examples to back up your argument that I can't write?

Or is this the 'sweeping comment no specifics' syndrome all over again?

scojo

Girlfriend??

Naaa, they cant write screenplays.

scojo

EXT. DEADWORLD - NECROPOLIS TOWER - DAY

Tracking a dark figure from behind. It walks down dark corridors. The sound of the wind is heard. Menacing music increasing in the background.

Figure enters:

INT. CHAMBER - DAY

Dark room with candles for light. Skulls litter the floor. Figure goes up to a desk. On the desk is a globe. Hands reach out and hold it.

Onto globe. The globe shows Mega City One, as if it were some crystal ball. Closer onto city, onto citizens.

An eerie voice is heard:
"A world so rich in life. Yet all shall know of Death."

Zoom up onto figure. Figure turns and face is shown, half in shadow, half in the light. It is Judge Death.

Fade out.

Coming soon to the 2000AD fan input page:

scojo proudly presents his Judge Dredd screenplay

POSSESSION.

Pray you are without sin mortals....


scojo

Hmm, not to sure about your subtext example. Most odd.

When you are in hole, you should stop digging.

Hmm, some grave diggers may disagree but still...:)

scojo

Well if you do read my script, there is subtext in the crime swoop scene.

Dredd asks Leech if he likes sugar. He knows he is a sugar criminal but is trying to taunt him to say or reveal something.

BALTHAZAR LEECH
You'll find nothing incriminating here Dredd.

DREDD
Perhaps. (beat) You live well citizen.

BALTHAZAR LEECH
Advantages of being in business. I recommend it.

DREDD
And how is business these days? Still in import and export?

BALTHAZAR LEECH
If you're referring to my kneepad empire "Need Kneepads", which I might add is the largest retailer of comfortable kneepad wear both here and abroad...then yes.

DREDD
Why, what did you think I meant?

Uncomfortable silence.

DREDD (CONT'D)
You like sugar?

BALTHAZAR LEECH
Can't stand the stuff. What I  mean is I don't consume the synthetic kind.

DREDD
I don't like it either. Bad for your health so I'm told. (he goes close up to Leech) Very bad.

See Dredd knows what Leech is, and Leech knows what Dredd is trying to do.

But I won't rant on any more.
Sorry.

scojo

If you can't see why colloquialisms make dialogue flow more naturally, then you've no business calling yourself a writer.

Jim,

I didn't know judges speak in colloquialisms? News to me. In my script the judges speak as if they are judges.

No doubt you'd prefer:

Hershey
Hey Joe, how's it hanging?

Dredd
It's hanging cool Hershey.

Hershey
Those low crime stats. Pretty bad eh?

Dredd:
Yeah, rad baby. Some meathead is gonna do heavy time Babs.

Hershey:
Way to go Joe.

And so on and on...

scojo

Jim,

You choose the final closing line. You take it out of context and say it's bad.

Surely you realize it's the CLOSING LINE to the script. AND DREDD IS NOT SEEN. IT IS A VOICE OVER. (V.0)

It's supposed to sum up Dredd and end the movie. That is why it is the final line. Imagine Dredd saying that line with such authority, you are taken aback.

That was the point of the line.

If you don't like my script, at least say the story is bad becuase the structure is poor, bad characters etc. No, all you go on about is some line, as if that is the sum of its parts.

Its like reviewing a film and saying you hate it cos one line stinks. You ignore everything else but just comment about:

Let only the guilty fear me. Justice has a face and I am it. For I am the law. I am Judge Dredd.

What's is so wrong with that line?
If an actor said that line with real menace and authority, it would work.

I think you talk doggy doo Jim.

At the end of the day we're entitled to our point of view. But to criticse my writing because of lines like that, well I think you are cluching at very weak straws indeed.


scojo

Hi David. Sorry for calling you Dave. Thanks for your reply.

So Dave,

I agree with your comments about Dredd needing to have a balance between comedy and seriousness.  My you know what (on the fan page hint hint!) has a similar balance.

Although I wouldn't mind hearing one cd where it's played completely straight. A democracy storyline maybe?

Interesting what you say about the budget. Never really thought about that before. I remember you said something about audio working best when there are only a few voices in any given scene. Otherwise it can get confusing.

Whether Dredd really works as an audio or not, I do like them. They are fun.
I must admit Dave, the scene where Dredd first meets Death and they spar (verbally that is) is great.
Death claims Joe is just like him. He taunts him.

Worth buying.

scojo -thinking that Dave gag has run its course
 

An another thing Milo and Jim,

(probably typing this to myself but what the hell)

You say my dialogue is awful.

Here's a great example of my dialogue:
The scene where Dredd questions the ugly in the med bay. Just over half way through the script.

Where's the awful dialogue in that?

My dialogue in that scene is as good as anything Wagner could write.

And Dredd's final line to the perp is funny too.

So I can't agree with you at all.

scojo

Criticisms too.

Can spell when I try!

scojo

Frankly Milo's criticsms are pathetic. If I met him for real I would say that to his face.

I bet he could't write a better line than:

Leach:
I never knew love making was now a crime.

Dredd:
It isn't. But we're workin on it.

Or when the butler falls to the ground unconscious
and Dredd says:
There's no need to get up.

Ever heard of humour?

To attack me for lines like this, saying my dialogue is awful, is pathetic.

scojo

Oh one more thing Milo,

Patrick on the ng said the two plotlines wern't related.

I told him they were not meant to be until the end.

To say he didn't get my screenplay would be something of an understatment.

I love the way you lot attack my writing over trivial things like:

"No Harm checkingis there?"

Frankly its the most pathetic thing I have ever read. I am being one hundred percent serious here.
Reminds me of Jim who criticised me for using here is instead of here's. Or somthing similar. a few months back.

If you lot are incapable of reading in between the lines, and unable to see the points where Dredd is sarcastic, well I pity you Milo etc.


scojo


 

As ever Milo you are wrong.

You criticse me for that line:
"DREDD
I'm sure you do, Leech. Still no harm in checking, is there?"

Is that it?

Whats wrong with that line?

Milo, if this is an example of my terrible dialogue, I am shocked!

Dredd is winding Leach up. Leach says he lives a virtuous existence and Dredd agrees, then says he will look anyway.

Dredd doesn't believe Leech.

Has anyone heard of subtext here?
Hidden meanings in sentences, I guess not. Used a lot in good dialogue.

Milo, I cannot believe this is a serious criticism. I really can't. If this is the best you can do, well I am, I am speechless.

For example, when Dredd says

"There's no need to show us the way out."
he is beginning sarcastic!

Of course he doesn't need to be shown the way out!

Like he will look in Leach's hab regardless of Leach's insistence he is innocent.

SUBTEXT! Real meaning hidden.

Read that whole Crime swoop scene again and imagine Dredd is saying the lines in a sarcastic tone.

Get it now?

Someone look up the word subtext in a dictionary for god's sake.

Or the all-time clunker champion, right at the end:

"Let only the guilty fear me. Justice has a face. And I am it. For I am the law. I am Judge Dredd."

That is to end the film on. Considering everyone knows the I am the law saying, I hardly think my line is a clunker.

If this is the best you can do, well roll on my bad dialogue. On the nose dialogue isn't for me. Sorry.

scojo

Perhaps I should start for you for you Milo.

My Dredd says creep and punk. Original does.

My Dredd says too many vehicles/ perps in the way. Original does.

What you also fail to appreciate is this...
Any Dredd film has to be written for a non Dredd audience. In other words there aren't third person narration captions like you get in a comic.

So sometimes you have to have the characters explain things. See the scene when Dredd explains what a futsie is.

Anyone as I say, give me examples of my poor Dredd dialogue.....

scojo

Before you judge me, first

A) Give me some examples where my Dredd dialogue is inaccurate. Oh what a surprise, you haven't. Just a sweeping comment. How typical Milo:)

I think my dialogue is very good. A prime example would be the first Grand Hall Of Justice scene. Very witty I feel.

B) Read the entire script.

I bet for every example you show where my Dredd speaks incorrectly, I can give you an exact prog where he speaks similar.

Milo, give me an example then. I have every single prog and I will find you an example where the original Dredd speaks in a similar fashion. Or not if I am wrong.

Over to you then Milo.

scojo