Messages

All the good bots have gone. So... Walter was worst.

I am a bit of a speccy wimp but I reckon I could take on Ghandi.

(Just watched Fight Club again)

If you only knew the power of the Dark Side...

Shiny, silver the DVD box is.

Hard wearing the discs are, not crinkly like tape.

Chapters the discs have, let you jump to good bits they do.

Surround sound will there be.

Buy it you will.

And there's me just bought a new computer on Monday. Just in time.

Link: http://www.idsoftware.com/firstweb/business/press/index.php?date=20040714000000" target="_blank">Official ID confirmation that Doom 3 is done

This stuff looks like Stormtrooper armour, by all accounts.

Link: http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Future%20Infantry%20Soldier%20Technology" target="_blank">F.I.S.T.

You play shuggie, not pool.

You throw rolled up socks at your wife and shout "zenade" (or maybe that's just me)

Link to book

Link: http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575075988/qid=1089274504/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl/026-1584611-4590052" target="_blank">Amazon link

... the agnostic?

... the lapsed believer?

... the cash-in?

Let's face it, I'll buy 'em anyways.http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575075988/qid=1089274504/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl/026-1584611-4590052">

... the agnostic?

... the lapsed believer?

... the cash-in?

Let's face it, I'll buy 'em anyways.http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0575075988/qid=1089274504/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i4_xgl/026-1584611-4590052">

"So like there was this guy who totally didn't like our stories. So I explained to him that we needed help with our biology homework and wondered if he could help. I explained our class was learning about disection and castration, and showed him the cutting implements used to hack open carcasses of the Modolian space whale that I had found. Then he was happy to endorse our much loved, sadly missed brand of mayhem."

"S'right."

Oh yeah, I also got my mother in law a completly new set of dining room furniture and a refund of half the price of the old lot.

This was especially good. The wood was marked with black blemishes and the supplier said this was down to "sweaty hands handling the wood".

Once I stopped sniggering, I wrote a nice letter. To the directors of the company. At their house. By recorded delivery.

This is my equivalent of escalating a complaint to DEFCON 1 and it never fails.

I also used this one when a mobile phone shop said I had failed a credit reference check when they never actually carried one out. I was not a happy bunny (although the director that phone was very apologetic).

Remember, folks, the names and addresses of every director of every company can be obtained from Companies House (www.companieshouse.gov.uk) although unless you subscribe to its download service (www.direct.companieshouse.gov.uk) you will need to phone and order the info.

Complained about electrics in my mums new car (Escort). Got a new car.

Complained about steering in uncles new Merc. Got a new merc.

Complained about friends cooker (paid for new one, ex-display delivered). Got a refund and they kept cooker.

Complained that food in 5* hotel was sub-standard. Given 100 euros per night per person to buy my own food for rest of holiday.

Complained that Roman Blind for my bathroom window was poorly made. Kept it for free.

Complained that Amex customer relations were pants (card refused on PayPal for no reason). Given ?20.

Complained that bank had transferred money to wrong account (thankfully, from one joint account to a savings account). Got ?90.

Complained that a PC I ordered was delayed because no graphics cards were in stock. Got a replaement card installed, free, and they agreed to swap cards over when the new one comes in to stock. Also got a free floppy and CD drive.

Complained about estate agency service. Charges waived.

Complained about hotel accomadation in Dublin on boys' trip. Got 2 pints of Guiness per person per night. Free.

(A personal fave) Complained in Tesco that the  bottles of Highland Park and 18 year old Glenfidich I was buying were not (as the sign said) "VAT free". Turned down the VAT and insisted they give them to me for nothing because their policy is that if you are overcharged you get a refund and the item for free. They gave me the whisky. This has also worked in Tesco for several boxes of Miller beer and a squash racket.

I also regularly refuse to pay for late/ cold/ babdly cooked food. The trick here is to complain when the desert is served so they do not spit on any courses.

I like complaining. The trick is to be calm, polite and persistent. It also helps to wear a suit. That said, the inverted snob in me finds it good fun to wear a t-shirt and jogging bottoms while complaining and then answer "actually, yes" to stroppy shop assitants who ask "Who do you think you are, a lawyer?"

Swap you a spacebar (used, good confition) for a Prog 1.

The Dalek is a design classic.

But I know what you mean. I bet the "editorial control" issue was that the BBC wanted to modernise their look and mobility, and the Nation estate didn't.

Just saw this gem.

More confirmation, as if any was needed, that you conform to all jounralistic stereotypes! Any more journo-esque and you could be a reporter in a Pat Mills story.