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"Will, PLEASE use your damn spellchecker! The man's name is NOT "Gordan"!"

Gordan, Mighty Warrior of Tharg
in
GORDAN THE DESTROYER!

rac, as the most responsible, sexiest and most devastatingly inteligent amongst this motley crew of stoners, deadbeats, layabouts and raggamuffins, I would advise you to get the quick, simple and reliable services of BT Broadband. However, since you're probably too busy watching The Champions or Blake's 7 on DVD, I shan't bother.

There haven't been any new wallpapers in a while (at least, not in great enough frequency). Myself, I'd really like to see some more Necronauts and Button Man ones. And a Cballaistics Inc new one as well, actually (if anyone fancies doing one, that is - HINT HINT!)

"starring James Nesbitt"

NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Tiger Sun, Dragon Moon will be appearing in the prog in Spring 2005, for your edification Grant.

Daredevil = shite
LXG = shite
X-Men = shite

I quite enjoyed The Hulk (probably the only film actually shot in the style of a 60's Marvel comic) and Spider Man in the cinema, but I don't feel any compunction to watch them again.

If you think that Daredevil was passable as a film, then you must have incredibly low expectations of the film industry.

Don't get me wrong: in the end, it's all a question of opinion - I don't like something, you do - but adaptations and remakes are always going to fail to satisfy, simply because some people will always have something to hold against them.

Link: http://www.2000adreview.co.uk/features/2004/movies/movies.shtml" target="_blank">For more on this subject...

Good point, piscine pal. Take The Stepford Wives, for example. Original is a slightly dodgy version of an Ira Levin novel (he of Rosmary's Baby fame), but which did contain some chilling moments and formed quite a nice edition to the cannon of seventies and eighties horror/sf films as social critique of suburbanite America ala Dawn of the Dead or Blue Velvet.

However Frank Oz, better known as Yoda or Fozzy Bear, remakes it as a comedy, with knowing winks and smart-alecy asides from irritating fuckers like Ferris 'I'm married to Sarah Jessica-Parker' Bueller, all blatantly rubbing the fact in the audiences faces that the women ARE ROBOTS. However, all this does is to completely dissipate any sense of tension that might possibly be felt whatsoever. This is,essentially, a film that relies on the fact that you have seen the original film an feel like having a laugh at it's expense. However, the film can't even justify it's own smug sense of self awareness, since that IS it's only message. For alll the faults of the original, at least it had a story that could connect with the audience and actually had something to do with the udience watching it at the time. This current remake has about as much relation to modern suburban America as a turd does to the arse that just passed it. If there was a story here, or characters that the audience could empathise with, then they might have had a semblance of a film. Instead what they have is the filmic equivalent of a severed head on a stick: messy and people keep well away as it starts to stink extremely quickly. How to make a poor movie even shitter.

The reason films are remade is the same reason that film versions of comics, books and old TV series are made:

Becasue it's easier to sell than an original script, and takes much less early development, which means that the pre-production stage can be finished all the sooner.

Short answer: it's the actions of a moribund, idea-less film industry that is grasping at straws as it plunges towards potential financial oblivion.

However, much as it pains me to say it, there have been some good remakes: The Maltese Falcon, for example, is a remake of two earlier films based on the Dashiel Hammett story.

My oldest mate told me when we were kids that he had a pace ship in his cellar, and that he and his grandparents (from Bolton) used to take it to Mars on the weekends to do their shopping. When I asked him why it wasn't begger than the house, he told me it could shrink itself in size. He also told me his grandparents had bought him a Dalek suit, basically like a mini tent that you could stand inside, He also claimed that this was in his cellar. He always promised ot show me, but every time I went round to his house, he always said that he wasn't allowed to take me down to the cellar until after his parents had left (which they never did). I believed him, as well, for nearly five years. In fact, I felt so jealous that I told him that I had a space ship too and that I used to go with my parents and brother to the planet Twix! I never even actually got to see his cellar until I was about fifteen.

He also told me he was one of the baby Ewoks in Return of the Jedi, which didn't make sense to me even as a kid, as he would have been three then, and too big for the size, plus they were obviously animatronic.

You ever have one of those days where it feels like you're wading through a lake of "turds and wasps"? Well, I've been feeling like that for a good few weeks now, and this last week has been the worst yet. Everything I seem to even attempt to do goes balls up.

Anyway, the reason for this cringeful self-pity, and this thread, is that yesterday I finally managed to send of this 'End of...' report out about the exhibition I was running, which I sent as an email to loads of people. Due to my genuine stupidity, lack of knowledge in such areas, and general wallyness I sent it with a load of photos, which basically clogged everyone's work and personal emails up for hours, and has now lead to a lot of people being very angry with me (which is fair enough, really).

Basically, if you recieved said email from me, then I really do apologise, and can only offer the excuse that I'm a moron who didn't know what he was doing (and I certainly won't be doing it again).

However, one problem I have is that I sent copies of said email to Jamie Boardman and Dominic Preston, who were very helpful in getting us a load of goodies, and who are currently in San Diego, I believe. So, not only will they get back all tired and knsckered, but they'll find that I've clogged up their email with my dopey bloody email. So they're going to be pretty pissed as well, I'd imagine.

What, if anyhting, do people think I should do (I've already sent out and email apologising to everyone)?

John Major beat Terry Waite!

Well, I welcome back Bou, if only because she sent me some lovely pottery a while back, and I think she could brake my spine with a flick of her little finger.

All hail the Queen!

I did, but they said that if you have it for longer than fourteen days they won't accept it. Also, they said that the stains on the case were unacceptible.

Oh god, not Leonard-bloody-Cohen!

See, now you see the world through my eyes.

Sort of murky, isn't it?