Messages

Zarjaz! I'm so getting that Mean.

Nope. History all the way. My feeling at the time was that I just wanted to enjoy literature rather than study it. That's turned out to be one of the very few decisions of my teenage years that I can still stand behind. Whoda thought?

I've never been tempted by Tarzan, but I'm interested to hear your verdict.
Outside of comics, I'm rarely in the mood for pulp these days. However, ever since you mentioned your father-in-law's tastes, I've been yearning for a story in which a bloke hijacks a submarine.
I know I'd only be disappointed, but it's such a strong concept.

I might have some of his books in the house which includes said scenario. I will have a look! It will be generic tough guy nonsense.

Early verdict on Tarzan is that I may not be able to read 20 books of it. Burroughs is a good storyteller, but not a good writer. The book was written in 1912 so it's got an archaic style and some very outdated views, although it's better in that respect than 70s pulp. It lacks the zing of someone like Howard, but it was originally serialised so it's quick moving and full of interesting hooks.
I'm hoping they'll pick up once I get past the origin book, which is basically a story I know being told to me in a very dry fashion, and onto books with titles like Tarzan vs the Tiger Priestess or something.

[Bleak House]

At the other end of the spectrum I finally finished Bleak House after 11 or 12 weeks.
I had an epiphany a few years ago when I realised that these big worthy 19th-century 'classics' weren't necessarily designed to be worthy. They were meant to be read rather than revered; liked rather than just appreciated. Moreover, a lot of them were originally published in instalments, which speaks to my lifelong taste for serials as it does to my wavering attention span.

Fully behind this kind of mindset! Did you study English by any chance, JWare? I did, and it took me a while to get out of the idea of reading for an exam, as you so eloquently put it.

For my commute reading, who knew that Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote 24 books about Tarzan? Not me, until I saw a lurid pulp cover in Oxfam and went in and bought a bundle of 20 of the things for £15.

My wife was impressed with the Mean Team group pose picture on the back of last weeks Prog and asked if it was as good as it looked (which was exactly the reaction I had when I first saw it as a star scan)
It fell to me to explain to her why it was not. From Ding Dong Dooley to the reveal of the 'magic word', absolute drivel sums it up. It's a good job it looks stunning else surely it wouldn't have made this collection - I think Bellardinelli's lovely artwork is far better in the risible part 2 than in part 1.

On the flipside though, we could use more Henry Moon!

Sounds like we have a passion for different music but similar feelings there Jim.

I think know what you mean about crowds.. this was the biggest show I've been to since lockdown (Electric Ballroom) and I was a bit twitchy beforehand as I'd not done anything big for a few years. Even going in I was thinking hmmm, maybe I've made a mistake with this one, but it all melted away. I'm really glad I went, because live music is the absolute best thing.

On my way back from London after seeing Obituary last night. First gig in some time and I'm seriously feeling my age this time - back in bits, aching neck, sore cheekbone from am errant elbow (i think) - tiger balm time when I get home

The gig was fantastic though, no feeling like it.

Cheers! The funny thing is that, although this book did have a ton of auto-deaths, it never felt unfair or stupid. Each death was deeply horrible, but also well written and generally felt apt: a lot of them are as a result of daft decisions, or logical stuff so they just seem.. cooler I guess.

That is brutal about the Barons daughter! Glad I didn't run into her!

God bless your energy, Boots. If I were a younger man I'm sure I'd be running around nightmare castles and deathtrap dungeons right alongside you.

It's a combination of a job that occasionally allows me too much time on my hands, an overactive imagination, a big rush of nostalgia and (initially, anyway) a bit of escapism from a horrible year.
I'm enjoying them so much now I'm not sure I can stop, especially when people encourage me here.

Gotta agree, XII is absolute tosh!

[Beneath Nightmare Castle]

Looking forward to your write up of Beneath Nightmare Castle.

Thanks dude, glad someone is!

With that in mind I'm going back Beneath Nightmare Castle!


After my last go I think by now I have mapped out the optimum route to the castle itself: get out the dungeon, don't go out in the street, get the head of the trident and so on. I follow that same path, go through the gardens avoiding drinking the fertilizer, meet the gardener and use his secret entrance to get into the cellars beneath the castle.
This time I ignore the blocked off door and continue down the passage into exactly what the dwarf gardener said it would lead to - the castle cellar, and a wine cellar at that. I decide it's time for a drink and have a glass of delicious ruby wine, which restores some of my stamina but reduces my skill, due to being drunk. Appropriately I'm standing in the cellar enjoying the warm feeling of being slightly off my face when a bunch of red-robed swordsmen burst in. Their superior numbers are emphasised and I'm given the choice of surrendering: considering my skill penalty, I do and am roughly hauled off to face the Baron himself.
My old friend Baron Tholdur is seated upon a grandiose throne, looking drugged or otherwise out of it - pains are taken to describe the formerly austere hall as now being decadently decorated with cushions and thick carpets, crowded with sinister southern soldiers and merchants being attended by slave girls, whilst beside the Baron himself a mysterious figure in a heavy cloak and hood whispers advice into his ear. It is clear the Baron has fallen under the influence of a sorcerer from Zagoula, just as Old Huw feared!
I am denounced as a foreign spy but with the wine in my system I immediately begin shouting at Tholdur, imploring him to remember who I am and our time together as comrades in arms. It seems my words have some effect: Tholdur wavers, whilst his advisor whispers urgently in his ear, but when I reveal the ring the Baron gave me as proof of our friendship it seems his old vitality returns and he clasps my hand in friendship. The guards slink back, unsure of themselves, but I can see the vizier is unhappy and I am badly outnumbered here, so I take the opportunity to nip out of the throne room and into the castle itself.
At this point the viziers guards are onto me. Ducking into a room I encounter a weedy, weeping gnome who complains that he has to deliver some stew from an orc cook to an orc guard, both of whom beat him. I've never heard of orcs working for the Baron before, but this seems a good cover so I volunteer to take the stew up to the guard and promptly do him in whilst he is eating it and let myself into the treasury. Unsurprisingly the place has been ransacked: all valuables and treasure gone save a potion, which I have a swig of only to discover it is an appetite supressant (for a Baron on a diet) and stops me eating any provisions - a definite issue as I'm still feeling the mild effects of the wine. A secret door hangs open within the treasury and I descend the steps into the darkness.. arriving back in the room with the emaciated prisoners from my previous playthrough.
This time I free the young man instead of the young woman - he begs me to release his sister, but his mouth seems oddly full and I catch a glimpse of more than one tongue so I get out the room quick and shut the door behind me.
I'm now back in the corridor offering an illusion or the soldiers that ended my last attempt. Instead of attacking I bluff my way through, claiming I have orders from the Baron, and am met by a Southern serving girl called Senya who escorts me into a luxurious antechamber. Apparently the Barons Vizier is willing to meet with me! My head swirling with wine, perfume and young ladies in silks, I am unable to resist as she pushes me into a comfortable chair and tells me to rest. Hypnotised by a flickering ruby at her throat I let myself sink into the chair - literally, as it moulds itself around me, for it is no chair but some hideous creation of Xakhaz, and Senya is really Senyakhaz, the sorceress and illusionist from Zagoula. The chair slowly absorbs me, draining my fluids whilst I stare unaware. DEATH #4

The book has been repeatedly asking me at this point if I have the talisman from Huws mate or the trident, so I seem to have missed something. I decide to restart at the garden but this time I head the opposite way and venture into one of the other towers. This contains a giant compost heap with a hidden room underneath it, where I find a strange glass orb. I am also attacked by hundreds of fat hairy spiders. With the spiders dealt with I discover the globe has begun to heat up and glow until it promptly blows up obliterating the tower, the garden and me with it. DEATH #5. Seeing as I'd just restarted I pick another option and stick the orb in my backpack, gambling that it is light that set it off - thankfully this works and it goes dormant again instead of blasting me to bits. This is a new development, so I continue round the garden until I wind up back at the gardeners tower.
I have the orb but still no trident, nor the talisman, and I'm confident I've missed nothing so I follow the same route to the Baron - this time drinking some 'wine' that is a hundred times worse (it was embalming fluid. The barrel was full of severed heads) but doesn't leave me drunk, but this time I stay sullen and silent instead of talking to the Baron. This time I'm hauled off to the dungeon on the spell-addled Barons judgement but the stupid guards make no attempt to take my sword or backpack!
Prompted to look at the head of the trident, I notice it is glowing and using its help I am able to raise some flagstones and discover a secret tunnel beneath the cell. I ease myself down a horizontal shaft into a tunnel that terminates at three doors. The trident's glow indicates I should go through one, and using it's head as a key, I enter and after a slight misadventure that involves me turning the lights out and nearly falling to my death I arrive at the base of an ancient staircase and a sarcophagus containing the second part of the trident of Skarlos! The trident is awesome - it's +2 SKILL, double damage against humans and quadruple damage against non-human enemies as well as restoring my flagging luck and willpower. Feeling suitably empowered I return to my cell (after a slightly confusing sequence where I fight another monster to get some keys that open the door I've just been in- I thought I'd messed this up at first, but going back over it, having the trident head negated the need for the keys. Anyway)
Back in the cell I wait confidently for my captors to arrive, only to be surprised by none other than Cernic, Huw's missing priest. He is in a terrible state, near frenzied from fear, and cannot wait to pass the talisman on Lolth onto me - he has been hiding in the dungeons for the castle is full of soldiers and there are worse in the depths (don't I know it). He does confirm that the Baron is under the spell of a Zagoulan wizard (Senyakhaz) and that Xakhaz is now alive and slowly building his power beneath the keep - and oddly that I should never look in a mirror whilst wearing the talisman. He is desperate to be away and I let him go, following him down the passage... and I'm back to the corridor that leads to Senyakhaz's quarters again.
This time I have both Talisman and Trident. Boldly I walk in, confront Senya, fail a luck test and hand over the trident. I'm absorbed again! DEATH #6. Aaargh!

Having come so close I reroll that luck test. The trident crackling I spring to my feet, facing no serving wench but the dark-eyed sorceress herself. She sneers at me and escapes in a cloud of smoke but I rush after her and witness her vanishing through - and into - a mirror, magically transporting herself away. I leap after her and die horribly as the mirror cracks and breaks, transporting half of me across space and time and leaving the other half a bloody mess on her floor. DEATH #7. FFS!
Restart. This time I take the another route following the smoke escape and this time encounter Senyakhaz preparing her escape via a magic box. She attempts to distract me with the sudden appearance of a giant spider, but I gamble this is a further illusion and it pays off. Fearful, Senyakhaz draws a knife from her sleeve. I triumphantly whip out the talisman and she cowers back, begging for mercy before twisting aside and leaving me staring straight at the mirror. The reflection of the talisman melts my eyes and burns my head black. FFS again! DEATH #8

I'm close now and don't fancy starting again so this time I DONT get out the talisman and press my attack. Senyakhaz is a skilled knife fighter but no match for the trident, and before long the sorceress lies slain at my feet. Her hold over Tholdur and his people now broken, but one threat remains... Xakhaz himself. Taking up the strange box from her hand I switch the setting to 'Z' and, as expected, it activates the mirror. I step through... and find myself in Zargoula.
Now at this point I'm given the option of wandering off into Zargoula, but this seems to be a trap: Xakhaz is in Neuburg, not here, so I step back through the mirror (this, it turns out, is the right choice) only to come face to face with a shocked Senyakhaz - I have come back in time to a few moments before! This time, once she is defeated, I switch the setting to 'X' (it's obvious now) and step through the mirror once more into an underground chamber.
The room is dark at first, before a door opens and a figure enters the room - glowing softly and clad in thick platemail and surcoat, it identifies itself as Skarlos in a flat voice and demands I leave or die. I have the trident, and I am suspicious of this Skarlos, so I avoid combat, taunting and dodging the figure whilst it repeats itself for a few moments before stopping still. Its voice is replaced by a shrill, eerie tone from beyond the door, inviting me to face Xakhaz himself. An inspection reveals there is something truly horrible in the armour, but nothing like what waits me beyond the doorway.
Xakhaz chamber is piled high with corpses in various states of dismemberment, limbs scattered and stinking across blood-slick floors. I stand appalled in the midst of the carnage as the voice taunts me, mocks me and promises me death. To my horror and disgust what I thought was a mound of bodies shifts and reveals itself to be Xakhaz himself, a fused, horrible pile of limbs and torsos, heads and mouths and tentacles all slithering and slapping across the floor towards me as I stumble away, tripping over severed limbs that grasp blindly for me. I reveal the Talisman, which boosts my resolve but its light does not stop Xakhaz's advance. At this point I remember the orb - pulling it from my back I hurl it like a grenade in an attempt to wedge it into the mound of flesh that is Xakhaz. I totally miss, but the globe goes off anyway, blasting me across the room and obliterating fiully half of Xakhaz's bulk. He continues to come at me, a stinking and bloody ruin, but his previously horrific stats are much reduced and although I cannot risk taking even a single hit from him I finish him off withe the trident and end his menace forever.
From there its back through the mirror, shell-shocked but triumphant, where I find the Baron evicting the demoralised southerners, no longer under the spell of their wizard. Huw arrives and claims the box, saying it contains the remnants of Xakhaz's spirit and the priesthood (ie him) will keep it safe. I don't care - there is general rejoicing, and I have defeated the horror Beneath Nightmare Castle!

This was awesome.
And after all that, I never met the woman on the cover!

I've recently replayed FFIX (possibly remastered?) and enjoyed it a lot, much more than I did when I initially played it, I think.
I haven't played FF VIII since it came out. I remember being really into it initially - the graphics being a ton better than VII helped (there's a great battle scene near the start, if I remember rightly) but the story taking a turn for the worse when a link is discovered between the characters and the antagonist and then not much after that but I was disappointed. I'd be interested to hear if it's any good, as it's the only one from VII to X that I haven't gone back to and would like to know if its worthwhile.

[Dredd]

Tuesday Prog!

Dredd – This was an alright Dredd - interesting concept, but not especially funny or exciting in its presentation. Not bad, but not up to the usual Niemand standard imo. 

Joe Pineapples – I thought this had picked up the last couple of weeks, but final panel reveal aside, this was not good at all.

The Out – Another change of tack of the story. Big fan of the way The Out does this. The new character is well-written as being a bellend and unlike the strip that preceded it, the dialogue feels like actual speech. Art as ever is top notch.

The Order – Trojan Octopus! I'm enjoying this and it's moving at a fair crack, although I confess to being a bit muddy on what the shadows actually are and may need another reread. My one gripe is Belair and her crew isn't a bunch of characters we've been especially invested in and could perhaps do with fleshing out more, but I think we're beyond that in the story now.

Proteus Vex – This is the finest thing in the Prog. It feels epic, it looks brilliant. Love it.

I don't have a folder, hence my asking! I have a handful of pages not on the wall that I've carefully stored and need something to display them in - most of them are A3 so something like that would be ideal.

Good luck with the framing, hope to see some pics up here soon!

Really enjoyed this one. As someone who has dabbled in writing this kind of fiction, and also does a lot of DM-ing, the struggle is real! Good stuff!

That is absolutely awesome McFad!

So I've picked up a damaged copy of the two-player FF set Clash of Princes..

I should clarify, I thought it might be a laugh to try this with someone on here. I'll post one of the books out (they're in a tatty enough condition for me to not stress if they get lost) and we can give it a crack..? I'm not sure how in depth the two player nature of it is, tbh: I don't think they're interactive like Duelmaster.

Anyway, I have completed Nightmare Castle and I have to say this is one of my very favourite FF books played. Not only is it a creepy, gory, cool story but it's not excessively difficult  (I died a lot, but the path through is there is you pay attention, for the most part) and it's very inventive with a lot of ideas we haven't seen before (the mirror is brilliant).
I'll write up the rest of my playthrough when I get a chance. I found my Redeemer playthrough and I might stick that up here too.